RIPPEDPAUL1   121,335
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An eulogy of sorts for my parents Bob and Pat Grooms

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Last week my mother died. My father had died several years ago. My parents and I had been estranged for almost twenty five years and had many a difficult times in the preceding years. The hows and whys on their part are still unanswered but I was clear on my reasons and attempted many times in different ways to resolve the conflicts but in the end, the best solution I could come up with was to stop in the cycle of anger and hurt we all participated in.

My sister and I enjoyed watching classic movies and both found "who's afraid of virgina Wolfe", "boys in the band", and "the lion in winter" reminded of us at times around our family's dinner table. My grandmother often said to us, "god gave us our relatives, Thank God ! We can choose our friends !"

That said I loved them and they loved me and that is a gift that I have found many people come to doubt about their families. They helped me become a strong, independent, caring adult. Again gifts that many don't get or use. They gave what they could, and as I have learned as an adult, you can't give what you don't have.

So I wish them peace, and will focus my memories when we were functioning as a family and the tears, and fun we had.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENNISJIM 3/27/2014 7:38PM

    I am sorry to hear your loss and the struggles with your family. Peace be with you.

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LOUIE-LILY 3/25/2014 6:34PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents in the last few years. My father and I had unresolved issues. My mom and I had come to peace and love before the end. Either way, we are left feeling like orphans when our parents are gone...no matter our age.
I am sorry for your loss.
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AJDOVER1 3/24/2014 1:37PM

    I appreciate your strength. Thanks for posting this.
It brought me a lot of peace when I put my mixed feelings about my family behind me and began to focus on the good.

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CODEMAULER 3/24/2014 11:06AM

    I think that this is a beautiful post that remembers the best things, no matter how bad some moments became.

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RASPBERRY56 3/24/2014 5:44AM

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SVELTEWARRIOR 3/23/2014 11:25PM

    Beautiful

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FOOFIE17 3/23/2014 8:48PM

    I am sorry for you, and grateful that you posted here. It makes a big difference to those of us who remain. May you be consoled in return.

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MERRYMARY42 3/23/2014 8:13PM

    sorry for your loss, I lost my Father nearly 50 years ago, and my Mother almost 25 years ago, and I think about them very often, great memories, and it seems the bad memories fade much sooner than the good ones,

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MEOWMAMA3 3/23/2014 7:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DMEYER4 3/23/2014 7:41PM

  sorry for your loss. I lost my dad many years ago. it is true you never stop missing them

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Another passing

Thursday, March 20, 2014

On Monday I learned that my mother had died. A sad event made sadder that in the end, her actions left her estranged from her children. I believe she had wanted to reconnect but couldn't acknowledge the long term issues that had been created.

I am mourning the end but have anticipating this resolution for almost 20 years so it is not a shock. Thank you to all that have sent positive thoughts my way .

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBIEE52 3/24/2014 10:42AM

    I am so sorry for your loss.

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HEYRED221 3/21/2014 7:45PM

    No matter what, it can't be easy. So sorry for your loss.

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AJDOVER1 3/21/2014 12:47PM

    You're in my prayers.

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CODEMAULER 3/21/2014 10:45AM

    I understand estrangement and the dynamics within the family. I respect that you are following your own process, and wish you only happy thoughts and memories.

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TENNISJIM 3/21/2014 5:58AM

    I am sorry for your loss.

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SVELTEWARRIOR 3/20/2014 11:27PM

    I am sorry for your loss

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ARNETTELEE 3/20/2014 7:46PM

  Sorry for your loss..

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FOXXYROXXYD 3/20/2014 7:27PM

    So sorry. You are in my thoughts.

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MOTTAMAMALOU 3/20/2014 7:27PM

    It's hard losing a mom no matter how she was. God bless her and your family.
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03191952 3/20/2014 7:08PM

  sorry for your loss, I've heard that once the communication is loss & as time goes by it becomes harder to reconnect, We're here for you

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made level 20 in Sparkpeople!

Monday, March 03, 2014

How did I do it despite, depression, frustration, distractions, by keeping moving, no matter how little, asking for help and encouragement ( which I got in abundance from sparkpeople members ) and looking towards the positive.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

03191952 3/20/2014 7:10PM

  all of our positive thoughts & encouragement are here for you every day, good job

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PDQ1203 3/8/2014 8:53AM

    emoticon

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MEOWMAMA3 3/6/2014 12:01PM

    Bravo! Miss you. Still drink coffee daily, if you're ever up to it. I think of you every time I pass our McDonald's. How are the kitties? emoticon

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TENNISJIM 3/4/2014 5:51AM

    You can do it!

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LINDAM.1 3/3/2014 11:20PM

  WoW emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AJDOVER1 3/3/2014 2:38PM

    emoticon
You're an inspiration!

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KELTIK_HEART 3/3/2014 1:50PM

    Excellent!

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HEYRED221 3/3/2014 1:30PM

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Made my annual fitness minute goal

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Now for 40,000 by years end!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

03191952 3/20/2014 7:11PM

  keep looking forward/that's the right direction, you can do it, congrats!!

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HEYRED221 12/9/2013 4:26PM

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PDQ1203 12/8/2013 9:47AM

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Made my annual fitness minute goal

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Now for 40,000 by years end!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GORIANA 12/11/2013 2:39PM

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AJDOVER1 12/9/2013 12:33PM

    emoticon You're my hero!

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LJCANNON 12/8/2013 6:03PM

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CODEMAULER 12/8/2013 12:05PM

    DO IT!!

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TENNISJIM 12/8/2013 5:53AM

    You can do it

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LOWCARBRENEE 12/8/2013 1:09AM

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IDICEM 12/8/2013 12:35AM

  Congrats!!

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LOSE4LIFE47 12/7/2013 11:22PM

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