Sunday, March 23, 2014
Last week my mother died. My father had died several years ago. My parents and I had been estranged for almost twenty five years and had many a difficult times in the preceding years. The hows and whys on their part are still unanswered but I was clear on my reasons and attempted many times in different ways to resolve the conflicts but in the end, the best solution I could come up with was to stop in the cycle of anger and hurt we all participated in.
My sister and I enjoyed watching classic movies and both found "who's afraid of virgina Wolfe", "boys in the band", and "the lion in winter" reminded of us at times around our family's dinner table. My grandmother often said to us, "god gave us our relatives, Thank God ! We can choose our friends !"
That said I loved them and they loved me and that is a gift that I have found many people come to doubt about their families. They helped me become a strong, independent, caring adult. Again gifts that many don't get or use. They gave what they could, and as I have learned as an adult, you can't give what you don't have.
So I wish them peace, and will focus my memories when we were functioning as a family and the tears, and fun we had.