Saturday, August 17, 2013
July 2, 2013 - I finally had my ankle fixed!! I had been waiting over a year for this surgery, being told that I was to not do any running or bouncing on my ankle which made cardio difficult. I would ride my bike, but as winter came that became difficult. I gained 15 lbs :( I know I have no excuse but I began to to fall into a depression. I was going through a challenging time with who I thought was my good friend when I needed her the most she wasn't there. It didn't help that she to is going through something I hope I never get to see again...but she chose that over our friendship! Although that was hard it has been for the best!
That brings me to now...I had a mass removed from the joint of my left ankle, it was growing into the bone and so it was more invasive then they figured. I came out of surgery in so much pain! A week later I was back at the doctors with an infection. Every move was excruciating I found myself trying to hide from my family to cry...4 weeks later and finally I was starting to feel better. However my ankle was hard to move. After week 5 I was finally putting weight on my ankle. Down to one crutch I went back to see surgeon and he sent me to see physio.
So 5 days later I was in to see Caroline... after her looking at my ankle and how I didn't have movement at all I learned it is almost completely locked up..it will take time but I may get full function if I work hard. I hate my physio exercises but after a week I do see movement, it hurts more than last week but its a good hurt. So hopefully she will be happy to see the changes.
I gave her a goal I hope to get to - running by fall! She says it is possible but may take me longer. Which is OK to :-)
So this Tuesday its been 7 weeks of recovery! I am back on track, even if I can't do my cardio, small steps will get me to my goals! When you hit a hurdle in life learn from it and take babysteps!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
I can't believe sometimes how many ups and downs we are given. I always seem to be doing so good and having lots of success and feel great and then something happens....why??
Summer came and it was great, lots of time with my kids, camping, swimming and going for walks. But then as life got back into routine I found my self in a lot of pain in my left ankle. My ankle looked odd for some time and I had my daughters physio therapist take a look at it and she figured I had sprained it before and it had healed a little crooked and so needed to be dislocated and braced to fix it. But so long as it doesn't bother me not to worry about it but to be safe wear a brace. As a week or so went on it began to swell and hurt all day and night so I figured that it was time to look into getting it fixed.
Went to the doctors and he says well I don't think its broken but just in case lets get a x ray... a week later (I was out of town) I went to get my results and it was broken and I had a growth growing which was worrisome, so he scheduled an MRI...a week later I was able to get in and the results say I have a growth growing out of the joint of my ankle and which probably is why I had a fracture etc... I don't think its cancer or such but you need to see a surgeon and get it removed to know for sure...No exercise and brace daily ...stay off as much as possible...
Well that was in October...I am so mad at the long wait so far and no news of seeing the surgeon anytime soon... :(
Since October I gained back 10 pounds...I blame myself for not getting up and doing something...but what do I do...I miss exercise so much it helps me get through the day...I have a very stressful life with my special needs child and our families new medical challenges...I need to Exercise!!! I hate that I have let 10 lbs creep back up and I can't let that happen anymore...
So I am doing 30 min of cardio a day and some strength trianing during the week and if the pain comes back I will stop....I just don't know what else to do!! Wishes I could get this surgery over with and get the darn growth removed and get back on track...however just with this week I am happy to say I am down 4 lbs so 6 more to go till back on track from before.
Just wish I could run again....
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Oh my goodness!!! I can't believe its been over a month since my last blog. I have been working hard on me and life has been crazy. I am still seeing success and happy to report in last month of a Zumba challenge I have lost 9 pounds and 9 inches. Its been weird though some weeks my weight has gone up and then way down...oh well in the end I am happy with the results.
So close to my next goal I can see it happening any day. I also feel like life is becoming so much like a routine and doesn't feel as hard of work that it was back in March. Anyways summer is almost here and I will be gone away to the lake for family time. Can't wait!!! Happy Sparking!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
When things get bad and you feel like nothing is going your way have you ever noticed that if you continue thinking about bad things your mood gets worse. I know for me it sure does.
I was asked the other day how do you do it? I said do what? She says, your always so happy and positive about your daughter and her situation. So its got me thinking....how do I handle it?
Looking back to the day our daughter was diagnosed with cancer I was a mess, couldn't stop crying or asking the same questions we ask ourselves when something bad happens...why? why us? whats going to happen? what if she dies? how can we get through this?
That first few days our focus became the surgery...then we would go from there...so when she made it through the operation...next step was seeing if she could come off the ventilator...took 3 days but we finally were able to come off...then it was getting her to be able to eat...well that didn't go so well, the surgery damaged her vocal cord and also right facial paralysis so she couldn't latch....so we were introduced to an NG tube....I am not going to lie this was hell on me and my family and it was not easy to get through. But we had to. Each day I had to tell myself we can do this, she needs us to be strong. So as each day went on I was able to focus on each moment at a time.
Many times we rush through life not taking a moment to reflect on our day, week, month or even our year. Time is precious and quite often we run through our day and never think of a positive thing that happened.
Here's how I know positive thinking works....
Day 1 we were told our 2 month old baby was going to have major brain surgery and she could die - She didn't and they were able to remove the whole tumor.
Day 2 they said she may not ever come off ventilator - took 3 days but she did
Day 5 couldn't get her to eat - they inserted an ng tube and then she became stronger
Day 7 we were told our daughter had an ependymoma brain tumor grade 111 which is high grade cancer - but we had the greatest team of doctors on our side
Day 21 She started Chemo - she always smiled everyday even when she was so sick
Day 30 we finally got released from hospital - was a sunny day!!
The months went on and we got through them....day by day and minute by minute..I took time to cry, laugh and smile.
Today she is almost 11 and I look at all the challenges she has had to face and think its so not fair but she says its ok mommy its who I am. So how do I do it? Positive Thinking!!! We will get through today, we will figure things out, we will succeed!!!
I know many situations aren't about cancer but this doesn't only apply with cancer, I am sure you ask yourself the same questions why? Why did I let myself get this weight? whats going to happen if I don't lose the weight? what if I die because of my high blood presser? how can I get through this?
You guessed it the answer is right in front of us all...take the time to think about to day and find your positive...I know what mine is today...sharing this blog :)
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