Monday, March 28, 2011
Today I participated in a daily question of what motivates you. I so enjoyed reading the resp0nses from all the daily sparklers. It was 90 % of the things that motivate me. Good health, a compliment, feeling good, looking good, going to a special event.
I like feeling good. It is a wonderful thing. I like looking good, it is a precious thing. I like being 160 pounds, it is a pipedream thing. lol
I don't know if I will EVER be 160 pounds again. I am scared to dream it. What if I am disappoint it, what if I never make it, what if I just can't do it, what if well you get the point. I don't know, even the what if's are not going to sway me from trying. Even hypo thyroid is not going to stop me or block me from giving it an effort. I feel good right now. I am headed to my very first Zumba class and I am nervous, but I am looking forward to it, because I am feeling good that I have been exercising again for about 2 weeks now and I am already starting to feel less stessed and more motivation. What motivates me? Its got to be all of the above and more....like being able to be positive and show, not just tell my children that it can be done and mommy is doing it and is never going to stop till I have come to the end of the Road and the good Lord says: Well Done...you gave it your all and maybe I made it to that 160, maybe I didn't, the important thing is that I feel good trying and I'll feel better no matter how much I actually lose.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tell me things are going to be different this time
Tell me that I am going to really follow my eating plan
Tell me that I am sincere
Tell me that my mouth will do what my mind says and not eat carbs
I know that it is what I want
Then why do I constantly sway back and forth
I know what to do
I know the routine
My mouth says the words
My mind thinks the thoughts
but when it comes down to it
Sometimes I get up in the morning and I hit the trail
Other times, I just lie there trying to convince myself to just go do it to no avail
Then I get a Spark and the scale goes down
and I want to keep on going, but then I give myself permission for a treat.
I notice that others may not have this problem
So Tell me how I can change
and tell me what I should do
and tell me, to keep on trying
and Tell me one day , I will make the committment, a real committment for a lifetime.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
I have had so much trouble convincing me that I am worth the sacrifice that it takes to limit the things that I love to eat in order to lose weight. I have hypothyroid (which means I have no metabolism, am tired all the time etc), which makes losing weight darn near impossible. However through SparkPeople, I have come across others who are in spite of their Hypothyroidism are losing weight and are happy and living the lives that they want to live. How dare these people take away my crutch? But they have and now I find myself with no where to hide.....I have to face the fact that I am the problem. I am the one who chooses to eat unhealthy food and consume I don't know many empty calories all in the name of hypothyroidism and why even try, because I am going to gain it back anyway. What do you do when your crutch is snatched away? You feel vulnerable and unprotected. No longer can you tell yourself these lame excuses and they be acceptable....Other people only see the weight you have put on as they say "what happened to her?....she just has given up"....but you know the real deal...Its the "Hypothyroidism" That is why I gained all this weight...but now that shield has been broken....by the SparkPeople with this same issue and have conquered in in spite of.
Either put up or shut up is where I am now. I say to myself I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy, I want to wear me some shorts in the summer time, but as soon as my favorite anything comes along,,, there is no discipline, no will power, which translate into low self esteem, unhappiness and above all weight gain.....
What to do what to do? I am at the point where I have to choose. and the winner is......
I choose Me. I choose to try. I choose to try harder....and I choose to try again. I am in it to win it. I am just so thankful that I have another chance to try and not only try but to suceed. Wouldn't that be wonderful....if sucess was just waiting on me to stop playing these silly games and really suceed this time. The only thing left to it is to do it....Those of you who know what I am talking about are free to join me...Lets Do It.... Again....This time is our time.....LET's DO IT...4Real
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
I started out the day feeling lousy. about everything....but now I have been sharing with some Sparkers and reading some blogs and I am feeling pretty good right now.
This battle of the bulge is just that an all out war, but with us all working together lifting each other up and motivating and sharing we have a chance to win. We must continue to fight no matter what. We can never give up and we must constantly help others even when we ourselves are down. It may be that pull that you do for someone else that will make all the difference for you. When we are not our best, we know it and feel it...we still can reach out and make a difference that day for others. What a difference a day makes for others and consequently for yourself.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A Good Day, no A Great day. since I have had 2 cars with engine problems since Thanksgiving. One came out of the shop last week and is running great. the other I sold and am buying another car tomorrow. I look forward to the future with all its turns and curves and highs and lows. I have some choices to make and I can and I will do what is right for me finally.
In fact I look forward to it...Keep on Keeping on because this is it, the beginning of our journey. Make it count. I will.
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