Tuesday, February 01, 2011
As a youngster in the baptist church in Hillaryville, LA, our junior choir used to sing this song. Leaning on his everlasting arms. I have a 18 year old and a 20 year old. My 20 year old goes to school and my eighteen year old stopped after high school. I am having trouble wrapping my arms around the fact that my 20 year old won't let go of the money train, or should I say chocho. She comes up with all of these absorbedent bills and I am supposed to cover them, no problem. We get one fixed and here comes another. I want to pull the evergency brake. Yes I want her to finish school, but I think it is important that she contribute to that end financilly by going get a part time job. I am at the end of my rope and if she says one more time, I ought to just quit school, I am so close to the edge I might say , maybe you should. I know this is wrong, but I am frustrated. I issue advice like during winter break, go get you a job at McDonalds. She doesn't do it. Then mama this and mama that. Wow and everytime she doesn't have money for something, I sure need to pay my discover and on and on and on.....I can't take it no more. How do I be mama without letting her hit bottom?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Has the last few days, no weeks, no months been taxing. I have had so many financial issues come up it ain't even funny. Getting my daughter enrolled in another school closer to home and the "official" transcript not arriving in a timely manner means that I have to pull $1250 out of my blankety blank blank by Monday. The fact that I only went back to work in Oct 2010 after being laid off for 15 months, so if you will do the math, this means I am struggling to play catch up, much less have $1250.00 laying around after moving my daughter from her previous university 4 hours away, and paying all kinds of stuff in connection with school already like a deposit on the dorm and on and on and on and on. You get the idea.
In the midst of all that my church has called a "fast" this week and believe it or not it has turned things around for me both financially and mentally. I am determined that "Today is the first day of the rest of my life" and that I will have a good day, darn it. (JK). I know that God is trying to teach me something and I am determined to find out what that is, so I do not have to go thru this kind of stuff again. Getting to the miracle, my family is NOT in a position to help me with this, and what am I going to do, after I moved her on campus Friday, the issue of $1250, comes up on Wednesday when she goes to check the status of her financial aid since the "official: transcript arrived late, like a week ago after me pressing and pressing and pressing the other school to send it. (that is another blog, (but we won't even go there)). Anyway, she goes to check on her financial aid, because they need to know she is getting it to stay on campus and finds out, "we have to go over your Official transcript" before we can PROCESS your financial aid. That is going to take 2 - 4 weeks so unless you come up with at least 1/2 of your tutuion by Monday, You will have to leave. This is what they tell my 20 year old daughter who bursts into tears right then and there and calls me hysterically. By the way, she asks of any program that could help, her get the money till financial aid comes thru and they tell her to "go get a loan" Yeah Right. I have not worked for 15 months. Who is going to give us a loan. We applied anyway and you already know what happened. Anyway, there is more, but for blogging purposes. I am so upset and I tell a person that I have known only for 2 1/2 months, she is an attorney, I was wondering what advice she had since all my creative financial juices are exhausted. She says, I could call the school on your behalf, but why don't I just write you a check, and you pay me back when her financial aid comes thru. "OH MY GOD" . Can you say that again. I am finally put in a position not to say no, which is what I would have done a year ago, if someone offered to help me; cause, I help others, I don't allow no one to help me. I am flabbergasted. A miracle has happened on the 2nd day of my fast. I cannot thank God enough for His power and his joy and his peace. I will survive and so my daughter will remain in school, thanks to an angel who still walks the earth.
To God Be the Glory and I just thought I should share this story with my weight loss partners because though we face the weight loss struggle every day probably for the rest of our lives, the Angels are still among us and can be accessed through Prayer and Fasting. Be Blessed
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I am fifty years old now and have been thru a lot as many of you have. I am here to tell the story though and if I can help someone else, that is what I am willing to do. I feel a newness coming over me, a new dawning of the day. I feel great but I don't look great, but I know that is coming too. I am happy today and will make the best of this time. No things aren't all going my way, but I feel a turn around occuring in the spirit. I know God has my back and I am satisfied with that. So again, today I am totally new and able and willing to see what the future will bring.
Monday, December 20, 2010
I really started out today as a good day and then I got mad, for something stupid. My weight is bothering me since my relatives are here and I feel ashamed. I can't take that out on somebody else for real. I am happy till they come cause I know how they talk about people and I feel self conscious, especially today because somebody else bought candy and oh my God.... Enough is Enough. I feel ok now, I need to get some anti freeze before I hit the road, so that is a challenge unless I go now.... which I might.
Went and got antifreeze and found some in the car. Made the best of it though. Will just use it next time. I am determined to get above all the drama and get it back together. I just knew it was my time....boy was I wrong...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Today is here. WOW. With it I have 2 cars with engine problems and the "good car" the shift is sticking and here I am just starting to work after being laid off for 15 months. At least my youngest daughter has a job where she makes about $250 every 2 weeks. that helps, my college student doesn't seem to get that she needs to bring something to the table as well because her car will cost $1500.00 to fix, my youngest car will probably cost around $500.00 "the good car" and o my truck, well I haven't even gotten a price yet for having to take care of theirs. Truthfully, when I get my income taxes in February, I am planning on buying me something, which is hopefully paid for.
Also my oldest "the college student" is transferring schools and needs $80 registration fee and $300 to pay off her old school so her transcripts can be released and $75 - $300 for a deposit on an apartment depending on whether we get the money before the special runs out". Did I mention, that I also have to rent a UHAUL at the end of this month to move her furniture from her previous apartment? Yet with all this going on, I feel good today. I have a workable plan and we will see what God says. God is good and I know this and I am standing on this. I am confident and faithful that God will fix this situation and it will all come out better than I ever imagined.
Actually, I am excited today. I don't know why, I just am. I am immensely joing SparkPeople. I havent't really lost any weight yet, but I know I will start being healthy and exercising and be my sweet joyous self. I have the desire in my heart with no action yet. I am blessed and I know it. THIS TOO SHALL PASS in terms of the adversities. I am so excited because I hope to be on the payroll soon as an employee cause I love my job and the people I work with. We just delivered to a needy family this week where one of the family members has aids and I am psyched about this. This is my passion, helping others, especially on Jersus's birthday. God be with me and mine and beyond.
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