Monday, February 20, 2012
Like everyone I've had my ups and downs trying to stick with a plan of eating well and exercising but I just realized I've been on Sparkpeople since the end of December. And since December I've been more good than not - eating well, exercising most of the time, tracking what I eat, and most importantly - getting back on track right after small slip-ups. These used to be excuses for spending a few days...weeks...months...on a diet holiday, since after all - don't I deserve it? It's been a tough day and who wants to suffer even more by being hungry?
So as I write this tonight I realize I'm facing a challenging week (aren't they all?) since I'm traveling. That's where I tend to indulge in the always available food and lavish dinners and am usually too bored to exercise in the hotel fitness room (where there is no zumba or something fun).
But I think it's different this time, and has been for the last three months. With this site and the support, motivational information, and encouragement I receive from all of you I feel a little stronger and more motivated. I've lost 17.5 pounds so far (though I'm a weight loss rerun and have lost the same 30 pounds a few times), but it's not the weight loss but the attitude that is different. Gone are the feelings of just hanging on, waiting until I can finish this diet to eat something fattening. While I still can't keep certain foods in the house, I have indulged since December. And I tracked the food eaten, or if it was too much too fast I let it go and got back on the "wagon". I continued to read the stories of strength and triumph and struggle you've all posted...and felt I can be stronger myself. And because of this I didn't give up but just keep going, even if some weeks barely moved the scale.
So with this blog I just want to say "thanks" to all of you and to the creators of this site. Though I didn't realize it, I guess I did need some support and encouragement to help me be successful in reaching for my goals. I still need to continue this journey to be the healthiest me I can, but it seems like it's easier now with the support and the people here.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Too often I tend to get caught up in the day to day ups and downs, judging myself poorly if I've had too many WW points in my day, skipped the workout, didn't login to my training class, wasn't as pleasant as I should have been in all my interactions, etc.
There always seem to be many opportunities to feel bad if I didn't do everything just right.
So this week I tried to focus more on what I've done rather than what I haven't.
Two years ago I was having trouble with shortness of breath on exertion, and went to the doctor to see what the cause was. He did a few brief tests, diagnosed me with asthma, and gave me an inhaler. I was just starting a long overdue exercise program, and realized that 10 minutes on the treadmill at a pretty slow walk left me out of breath, and I tried running only to realize I couldn't make it even 20 seconds without feeling like I was going to pass out (and I needed a lot of time to recover). My first time taking zumba classes left me unable to complete more than half of the class, and I was sore for days afterwards. But I knew I had to either keep up with the exercise or I'd have no chance of trying to maintain my declining bone density without medication. Like so many people, it took a health problem to get me going.
I now am able to run for 30 minutes straight and hope to continue building upon this, take zumba, cardiokickboxing, and other classes in the gym and then do another hour of exercise on the weight machines, and the best part is that I no longer get out of breath. Apparently I never had asthma, but was simply out of shape. And while I still have weight I'd like to lose and cannot yet run a marathon, I probably am in the best "fitness" shape of my life.
So today I'm going to look back on how far I've come so that I can look forward to how far I'll be if I keep going. It seems like a very long journey when you're plodding down the path and detours keep taking you back the wrong way. But when you look behind you it's great to see how far you've come.
Monday, January 30, 2012
so i was feeling pretty good about losing a few pounds and thought i looked better so i put on my workout clothes to go to a boot camp class at the gym. does anyone really feel motivated by the mirrors on all sides in these workout classes? one of the spark articles said they help you get a better workout, but a glimpse at myself from the side with lots of stomach roll ("muffin top" i guess this is called) made me more discouraged since i felt like i had so much more to go and hated the way i looked. but at least i got the workout..even if i did look like the pillsbury dough boy in the process.
(couldn't find a muffin top picture but a cupcake top is probably appropriate too)
will i ever lose enough weight to get rid of this fat stomach?
Monday, January 23, 2012
It's been the usual back and forth of eating well...and not so well, and exercising...and not exercising. So I was feeling a little disgruntled since I feel like progress is so slow, and takes so much effort. And I remember the "old days" when I was able to exert far less effort and lose weight so fast.
So I almost didn't weigh in this week, but finally did a day later and was surprised - and so happy - to find I lost a little weight. To be honest I probably didn't "cheat" the scale, but after consuming about 10 million calories in cookies, cake, and just about anything with sugar I can get my hands on I skipped dinner (it wasn't hard - I felt sick).
You're probably thinking happiness is good, right? Well, it was, and the good mood even made me more energetic and productive.
But this can't be a good way to be, where your happiness is tied to a number on the scale? Where a weight gain, even a small one, will cause you to feel disgruntled and blue?
I think that an important part of the "healthy for life" approach I'm trying to take needs to start focusing on the emotional elements of living healthy, since I just don't think I have that working well yet. Thanks to this site, I'll cruise around and find some articles that will probably help me to deal with the emotional "baggage" and perhaps out of this come a more positive attitude - not only when the scale is happy but despite the number looking back at me. It's time.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
So I was feeling pretty proud of myself the last two weeks - eating well, staying away from chocolate, sweets, and even low calorie cookies/cakes/bars disguised as "diet friendly" since they tend to make me want to eat more of these foods.
Now it's back to business travel, which makes it hard enough to eat well, but I was doing okay the first two days. Went for a great dinner at a restaurant where EVERYTHING on the menu was less than 475 calories, and the food was delicious! Soups, salads, entrées, and yes, even desserts were anywhere from 150 calories to no more than 475, with decent sized portions. It was here that I decided to indulge a bit and have a teeny, tiny dessert for 250 calories. Key lime pie that made me realize what I've been missing. Like an alcoholic that falls off the wagon and ends up in a drinking binge, it took me 4 days of non-stop eating of sweets to finally pull away. I enjoyed brownies, cookies, cakes, bread pudding, you name it, and I remembered why I can't have even a small taste.
Amazingly enough I stayed the same on the scale and I'm back to abstinence in the sweet department. Maybe some day I'll be able to handle a tiny taste, but that day is not here and I'm not sure if it will ever come.
I'm just glad to be back on the wagon and need to be strong to stay there.
Here's to thinking of some of my favorite things...maybe one day we can have a normal relationship together. Until then, I need to "stay clean".
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