Adaptation

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

So its a new day. I feel really good today although I am kind of tired. I woke up, went to the gym, went swimming, went to a friends and now im home. Nothign overly exciting.

It really interesting to me now how people grow, learn and adapt. Just from watching my friends and family I have come to a conclusion that people can change almost before your eyes and i dont just mean your moods. My dad used to be a very grumpy man, who suffered from depression, and now he is happy. I know he has times where he is not happy but he has excelled a lot in life and in himself. He now motivates me and keep me going when i feel liek giving up.

My sister is another example. she has been over weight he entire lifem and so have i, and now we are doing somehting about it, but she is stronger now than ever before and she is happy and she laughs more. It may not seem liek much, but knowign her for 20.5 years, it is a big difference in a matter of 2 weeks.

And myself. Up until recently I thought Iwas in love with this guy and I thought I could do nothing without him, I wouldnt be abel to go back to school I wouldnt be able to quit smoking, I wouldnt be abel to ever be happy. In the 2 and a half, 3 weeks I have been goign to the gym, I am happy and I know i can do well at school, I quit smokign except for a few cigars, and im possibly almost ready for a realtionship. as wierd as it sounds to me.

I realyl believe that people can adfapt, maybe not change who they are, but adapt to the people thay want to be and move forward in life.

My dad used to tell me life is usually one step forward and two steps back, the trick is to make it two steps forward when step back, and just keep pushing forward. He was right. It took me a logn time to learn that but I did. I'm not saying im perfect by any means i ahve a lot of faults and i know that. But it feels really good and gives me confidence to know I am improving myself, and adapting to the person I want to be.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZ86 4/10/2008 11:53AM

You're dad sounds like one wise guy lol Great blogging, you talk so much sense! Are you and ur sis doing this together? Does she work out with you? I wish I had a weight-loss buddy...my friends are all really crap at supporting me with this! Oh well... You sure as hell can go back to school, quit smoking AND find the sexiest nicest guy ever...when we start feeling good in ourselves, we'll go out wearning the sexiest outfit, feeling like the hottest girls out there, and have our pick of the guys, just you watch lol Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTRESSANNE 4/10/2008 9:51AM

Great commentary. No one's perfect. No one wants perfect. Perfect is dull and annoying. Growth, change, and perseverance are much more interesting. And that's right, "Only You!" can make yourself happy...(and prevent forest fires) (I was borrowing from the Bear there so I had to quote him.) Report Inappropriate Comment

GLORYTOGLORY 4/9/2008 10:40PM

good stuff! You can always change for the better if you are willing to go through the process. The weird thing is when you change so much and some people stay the same as when you were kids. Thanks for the comment on blog yes i need a good night sleep but first i gotta workout! Report Inappropriate Comment

Reality check

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

so I know i JUST posted a blog, but i reeally have a lot on my midn tonight, so here is anotherone that i actualyl wrote on my blogging site from before i found SP

Life is differently lately. I am happy, sure of myself, getting more confident and it honestly scares me a lot.

I really am used to being the girl who is in the back ground and only talks about cars and trucks and motorcycles. The one that helps the girls with their problems while not beign able to face my own.

I never really thought much of it before i started goingto the gym, and while i am still too overweight to be healthy ive noticed changes in me and my attitude that I never thought I would get back. I'm slowly going back to becomming the person I used to be, and the person I want to be and I NNEVER thought I would be able to accomplish that.

I have quit smoking, im going back to school and I am genuinely a nice person again. I laugh more, real laughter, I can think clearly, and argue logical points.

Now this might not seem like a big deal to people, but it is to me, I lost myself for a long time and im finalyl starting to find myself again and that makes all the difference in what happens in my life. I can now honestly say I can see myself going to university, and possibly one day havign a real relationship.

I also realize I may be older than I want to be when I get everything I want, but at least it will be within reach, my motorcycle, my house, and my truck (already have the car). anything after that is kind of on hold until it happens.

And I'm excited now to see how my life plays out based on my decisions. I dont want to spend the rest of ym life the way I spent the last 2.5 years, looking back and wishing I could change soemthing, so I am not goign to, It's time to move on.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSTELZER 4/9/2008 8:33PM

Good for you! Love the confindence! I've enjoyed getting to know you on this site and think you are a wonderful person and look forward to visiting you while you continue on your journey to changes! Keep up the great progress! Report Inappropriate Comment

INTERESTINGMIX 4/9/2008 4:19PM

i'm so happy for you. being healthy has allowed you to shine through! Report Inappropriate Comment

CGRANGER093071 4/9/2008 7:08AM

All of this IS a huge deal.. it's life altering... and although you must be very proud of your accomplishments.. I can understand the fears too. Just remind yourself that you will reach all of your goals in life and you deserve every single good thing that happens to you. Just keep moving forward. You rock, woman! =) Report Inappropriate Comment

SWEETZ86 4/9/2008 4:28AM

You go girl!!! I love your blogs (and yeah, they are as long as mine lol) Thanks for the messages! I feel a bit poo today cos i weighed myself in the gym this morning and i'm still 189 after a weeks hard work, but i'm gonna push myself real hard this week to try and lose a couple of pounds. We can do this! I'm gonna keep reading ur blogs cos they're so funny haha Have a good SP day (im actually gonna unplug my internet for a few hours now so I can actually get some work done instead of sparking all day, otherwise i'll never pass my degree!! lol xxx Report Inappropriate Comment

MOTIVATION

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Everyone has different forms of motivation, everyone has different reasons for their motivation, their gains, their losses, they life style, and their changes. Not everythign can be controlled, but the way you handle the situation determines an outcome you can control.

My dad told me once that beign healthy and losign weight is all mental, and if you can get to the point where you dont dread going to the gym, and dont cut yourself off from the things you "shouldnt eat" and only eat them in moderation you will succeed. My dad is my motivation, I turn to him when I need help, as well as my friends on SP.

My dad also explained to me that once you get past the mental part of not wantign to go to the gym, but instead pushing yourself to go when everythign is against you, that is when you have the strength to overcome ANY obstacle in life. And that is the main reason I have decided to change my life.

I want to be able to handle anythign life gives me. I want to be strong both mentally and physically, and i believe that I CANNOT be strong mentally if I am physically not happy with myself.

these pictures keep me going, and hopefully they will for a while... enjoy
Yes i know there are a lot but to me they are worth it

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/serenity.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/repsol.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/perspective.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/faith.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/determination.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/commitment.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/aimhigh.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n93/k
kline91/Motorcycles/adventure.jpg

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEATHERWVW 4/8/2008 10:23PM

Your dad is a wise man... it sounds a lot like self discipline. Our mind is the biggest challenge, it has way too much control over what we do! lol I understand what you are saying about not being able to be strong mentally if you are not happy with your physical self. It makes sense though, our body is the vessel that holds our mind. Report Inappropriate Comment

Day 2 with the trainer, Day 3 of the challange

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

So instead of writing two blogs i will just amke one for right now and if soemthign coems up i can blog later lol.

As some of you know i hired a personal trainer who i see ocne a week. Trainer Tuesdays. she kicks my @$$ really far lol. Today i did a total of 40 lunges, 27 hanstring things with a ball, 27 bench presses, 30 lateral pulldowns, jumping on stepping block things, squats with 24 extra pounds, liek hello i already weight 204, i really dont need another 24. and some other thigns i cant really remember. Plus 10 minutes on the elliptical trainer on the "personal trainer" setting. Holy i am not as sore as i thought i would be, but i definately reached my "point of failure" with my muscles today. Then i went tannign and it was definately better lol, nice relaxing hot bulbs and tannign lotion.

As for the CHALLANGE

I didnt get to eat a very good breakfast, beign as i woke up super late, so i ate an apple cause someone told me they had fibre? so that held me over till i got home, ive drank about 4 bottles of water so far today, id say im doign pretty good. i got in a healthy breakfast in little time, ive eaten every 2.5-3 hours so far and drank water. YAY


Oh and i met this guy last night thats actually kinda cool so i had a fun night. it was definately nice to be away from my drama filled girll friends for a bit

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YANKEE.GIRL 4/9/2008 10:05AM

Wait until you start doing doing the half ball crunch things with the extra 24lb weighted ball on your chest. That's my fav. (no not really, just sounded good, it hurts like hell and my trainer kinda giggles) Report Inappropriate Comment

HEATHERWVW 4/8/2008 9:57PM

Personal trainer setting on the elliptical? Sounds daunting! Excellent job working out today - sounds like you really broke a sweat. Also great job grabbing an apple, that is some serious will power. :) Report Inappropriate Comment

GLORYTOGLORY 4/8/2008 5:37PM

Keep up the good work Report Inappropriate Comment

MSTELZER 4/8/2008 2:53PM

Hey sounds to me like you are on your way - good for you! Great job! I am glad the trainer is really helping you. Incredible work out!!! Glad you met someone nice. When other areas of your life are looking good it actually helps loose weight and quit smoking as well! Keep up the great work! Report Inappropriate Comment

No Pain No Gain?

Monday, April 07, 2008

or Pain is Gain....seriously i hurt. i jogged 2 miles in the last two days, ran up flights of stairs, did weight training, used the ellipitcal, and the stair master, and i stepped wrong running up the actual stairs today and now my knee severely hurts. i knew before i started runnign them that it would probbaly push me to far, but im stubborn, and i did it anyways.

Now i can barely walk, although i wotn readily admit that out loud. i have a meeting with my trainer on tuesday to work out and it is going to kill me so i think i might end up going to get a knee brace to help hold me together.

Long story short, stupid girls should not drive pickups, they end up hurting people like me. Tire moves, leg on tire, knee turns, stop truck, repeat. then walk on it all day in the bush...not good!!!

So now im paying for it. But oh well once i build the muscle up in my leg it will be fine. im just kinda kicking myself in the @$$ for pushing myself so hard. so of course im in pain, so im in a bad mood so i smoked 2 more cigars!!!!

which makes me more mad at myself for smokign them btu seriously i just feel liek crap the last few days im bitchy, im moody, im tired, i think i need a real days sleep. which i cant have because i work until 8 am, then have a dentist appt at 4 pm then i get to sleep tonight so i can go for my tranin appointment at 9 am on tuesday. then i get all of wednesday off from working and appointments. i just want one full day where i can sleep enough to make me forget about everything!!!!

On top of that my sister and co worker expect me to go to the gym whenever they want to go, but yet I end up going days by myself...how does that one work??? I went yesterday by myself because my sister had to work, fair enough,but amy was suppossed to come, i called her at 815 and she said she would meet me there at 0900 when they opened. okay works for me

9 am, shes not there, call her cell a few times, call her house, not answering, turns out she fell asleep. which sucks for me cause i got to go for 2 hours by myself, but gaunrenteed next time she goes shes gunna want me to go with her.

Then she calls and apologizes for fallign asleep. i told her i dont care and she was talkign about how she really wanted to go and now she felt bad she didnt go (this was before noon) so i told her to go then if she really wanted to go shed be fine to go on her own. She didnt go, apparently she is sick again.

It just kinda really makes me angry that i am pushing myself to EXTREMES to be going with both them. 6 days a week, at least an hour, and im pushign myself so that they will at least put some effort into it and now they dont really seem to be putting any effort into it so i feel resentful towards them and i shouldnt but i do.

Some more effort on their part would be great. Even if they just showed enough motivation to go on their own a few times, or if they actually wanted to see some of the stuff my trainer teaches me...

Anyway i guess this is a long enough rant im going to go stretch so i can hopefully have my knee for morning...

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZ86 4/8/2008 11:44AM

Girl, you just keep going to the gym, whether or not they choose to come with you/go on their own. When they see how super dooper hot your looking after all the effort you put in, they'll soon think twice about standing you up. x Report Inappropriate Comment

MSTELZER 4/8/2008 2:37AM

Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days. I am sorry to hear about the small set backs for you but always remember that - they are small!!! So, just pull back a little on the exercising so much so quick and just ease into it a little bit more. No big deal really! As for the cigars - well it is a tough battle to quit smoking and I commend you for ditching the cigarettes! Just a though but there are suppose to be some great new meds that are suppose to be good. I don't know really but I have heard it. You might want to consider talking to you doctor as he/she might have some helpful suggestions for you. Just an idea. I will keep thinking of you and hope you reach all your goals. Small managable steps and you will make it. As for the knee brace you mentioned - check with a physician on this as well to make sure you get the one best suited for your needs. Sounds strange maybe but I have to wear one as I have had several surgeries on one of my knees and I tried about three or four different braces before I got smart enough to ask my doctor and wouldn't you know it the very first one he suggested did the trick!!! Good luck - thinking of you. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTRESSANNE 4/7/2008 10:14AM

Careful there. Sounds like maybe you should grant yourself a day of rest. Remember rest is an equally important component of exercise, mental health, weight loss, etc. And you're right on, with your 'lead the horse to water..but can't make em' drink' commentary. Frustrating...hope the day improves and the stretching helps the knee! Report Inappropriate Comment