I HATE today...with a passion.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

So ym day starts off as usual. Wake up at 730 to go to the gym with my sister and amy, get out of bed dont really do anything. Then My brother tells me that my brother in law roled my sisters car thatmy parents gave them like maybe 2 weeks ago. I understand accidents happen, but they JUST got that car. and they didnt have coverage on it for when you hit something, just really basic coverage.

Now they have a ticket from the police, a car thats un driveable and unfixable, towing fee, and storage fee at the tow company.

The worst part is they are trying so hard to get out of debt and get their lives okay, and now thats not possible for a while....

Also 2 days ago my great grandma broke her hip. she is okay, but we werent sure originalyl if she was goign to amke it through surgery.

I picked the wrong week to quit smoking...

Anyways I still havent smoked and day 5 is almost half over. And now I am goign to the gym and im going tow ork off my frustration in a good way and I'm not going to buy a cigar either, elthough I do really want one.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLORYTOGLORY 4/3/2008 3:42PM

Sorry for yout familys misfortunes but, yipee for you handling your stress constructly and not using it as a excuse to light up or stop working out! Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTRESSANNE 4/3/2008 2:23PM

Jumpin Junebugs...talk about a super soap opera kind of day. (And that's certainly not intended to make light of the situation). I am sorry that there seems to be a storm of misfortunate in your area at the moment, and you're feeling the stress raining down. You don't have any control over all that chaos though. You can keep yourself in the best condition you can however so you're ready to carry the ball if your help is needed! 5.5 days?!?! You're more than half way to a double digit number!!!! Can you stand that excitement? Report Inappropriate Comment

FURGIE~FURG 4/3/2008 12:25PM

Wow! I hope things start going better for them soon. Whatever you do, don't go back to smoking! You are doing great... 5 days... Woohoo! Report Inappropriate Comment

KMEKATE 4/3/2008 11:48AM

Don't smoke don't smoke don't smoke - it's a great big test....and an awful one at that! I hope your family is okay. Report Inappropriate Comment

An important news update!!!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

BRAIN FOUND. not sure where it got too, but it has made ita way back to its rightfull owner. I havent cried since I got to work, I havent wanted a smoke since i started working. Chewed some gum, ate a salad (wierd... i havent eaten salad in a long time!!!)

I brought smokes with me and i carry one outside every now and then and pretend i will have one and just chew gum. I find i need the smokes less when i have themthan when i dont. So i grabbed a pull pack from ym mom and i will return them tonight with the 20 smokes it came with.

I am kinda proud of me. Granted the cigars werent smart but hey live and learn. I am kinda burnt from going tanning though.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLORYTOGLORY 4/3/2008 12:53AM

good job! Report Inappropriate Comment

MSTELZER 4/2/2008 11:37PM

Doing good. Keep it up. I am very impressed! Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTRESSANNE 4/2/2008 10:45PM

There ya go, making it happen! Report Inappropriate Comment

in todays news

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

LOST: mind, belonging to Kayla, if found please return to rightful owner.

Soooooo I need to write. I am crying, not for any real reason, but because i am stressed for no reason and want a smoke.

Heres my today, went to the gym, did the owkrout i did with my trainer yesterday it was great, went to my friends in laws and swam in their pool, they fed us lunch, and my sister and i went to the hospital to me our friends newborn baby named Alden (sp?) born at 10:30pm April 1st. 7 lbs 10 ounces. Then we were on our way home and i got really upset for no real reason and started feelign sorry for myself.

Then I got home, and as much as i want to smoke, i dont want to start over on day 5 so im not having one. But I hit my hand on a chair and it hurt and i wanted to sit on the floor and cry.

Its not normal and i dont liek this new emotional me, hopefully she is gone soon when the smokign cravings go away. Plus I'm not tanned and I want to be tanned and I want to go today but i havent got that far yet cause i am a basketcase.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TANSHAN1 4/2/2008 8:42PM

Kayla...you are purging yourself of all kinds of bad things at the same time..your body and mind are screaming "Wait a second!!! Hold on!! It may be better in the long run but if I through a fit NOW I can get my fix" You can do this, you are doing great so far! Losing the comfort stuff (cigs and choc /food) leaves room for some true emotions to happen and not be drowned in smoke and fat. Experience your feelings, acknowledge them and then move on. You are worth it! Keep on! Report Inappropriate Comment

WOLFKITTY 4/2/2008 8:29PM

The first "real" month of my journey here on Spark was HUGELY emotional. It's not just the cigarettes, it's WHY you smoked, it's WHY you were overweight. I believe that we store emotions in physical places on our bodies sometimes. And as you progress, some of these might be released. So cry and let it out. But know that you CAN be strong and get through this! Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTRESSANNE 4/2/2008 5:04PM

Blog away. Your captive audience awaits. =) WooHoo, gosh look at all you accomplished today....work out...be social...join the welcoming committee to the one of the newest lives on the planet...log some more hours on a tough goal....blog. Gosh you're one productive young lady. Hang in there...acknowledge those tough moments and then let em go. You've places to be, people to see, and readers to entertain, not mention a mind to locate. (I've been thinking about getting one of those locator devices you see on TV for my mind...you know whistle and it beeps to signal where it is...under the couch cushions or something...) Report Inappropriate Comment

Personal Training.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Well as MISSTRESSANE is so dying to know how my first day of personal trainign went here it is.

I am sore. I hurt in ways I've never hurt, I did excersizes i never knew could be done, and i got pushed to do them, so I did. I seriously cans till barely walk haha my legs are soo sore. And my upper body, and my abs.

Omg I seriously think that my trainer is the devil in disguise, but apparently I did fairly good today and im not as bad as i thought I was. I even lost 2 lbs so now im 204.4 (i know my ticker says i started at 204 but i was wrong it was 206.4 haha)

And that 2 lbs is on top of my size loss so i feel extra great. Plus I went tanning too :D

Overall I think the personal training will be well worth it and its going to kick me in the @$$ for the first little bit but i will get better!!!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISTRESSANNE 4/2/2008 12:26PM

Check it out, I gotta a 'mention'. ;-) Sounds like you got your money's worth! I'm glad to see you can still type. (Can you lift your hands above the level of the keyboard though?) I'm glad you've lived to tell the tale! WooHoo! *applause* Way to go!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TANSHAN1 4/1/2008 11:50PM

Way to Go!! I envy you!! I still am making excuses like "too expensive" "not enough time" I admire you for taking the fat by the jiggles and doing something about it. WooHoo! Report Inappropriate Comment

TX_WILDHEART 4/1/2008 8:03PM

Ohhhhhhhh the first day is a killer!!! How well I know. I was sore for days. (and it was just about a week ago now that I think about it. Give yourself a day or two to recover and do it again. Remember - eat some carbs afterwards, it helps the lactic acid get outa your muscles. I know how you are feeling tho... I was there too! Recent like even! MistressAnne laughed at me too! hahahahahahaha This opens up a whole new avenue of workout for you! Go girl go! WE are close in weight too.... we can compare notes! It's that dern eliptical (I call the beast) that kicks me... but I kick it right back! you go girl! RHonda Report Inappropriate Comment

GLORYTOGLORY 4/1/2008 5:56PM

awesome !!!!!!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

APRIL

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

NEW MONTH, NEW DAY

so I woke up this morning, wanted a smoke, said no I did not need one, jumped on SP and Had a bunch of encouraging comments on my blog, which made me feel great! Thank you all soo much for the support and motivation you give me to proceed even when i slipped up.

Today Is my first day with my personal trainer and I am excited. I am still kinda sore from yesterday (But in a good way) and last night I noticed something totally amazing. I was wearing a tank top like I usually do, and I looked in the mirror and it looked kinda funny to me under my boobs. So I lifted me shirt and realized that while I have really lost weight, I have lost enough size from my rib cage up, that I can partially SEE my ribs!!! This is a huge accomplishment for me and i am so very excited to continue on and go until I can see more progress.

I just cant believe the progress I've made already.

And in case anyone wants to know, the reason I had 2 cigars last night was because my and my best guy friend called it quits on our friendship. That stressed me out ALOT seeing as we have been through a lot, and then people just werent making it easy on me (or at least not in my head)

But I had some great support and now I'm ready for a new month, new day, new me.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISTRESSANNE 4/1/2008 1:25PM

That's right, onward and upward! (Sorry about the break) We all have that fall back sometimes though, whether it's some sort of food, a drink or three, a refusal to get out of bed and exercise like we should, etc. I'm running from the sugar monster (or the uh Fat Demon as they like to call him over in Done Girls) as we speak. But today is a new month - another chance to renew all these fabulous goals we have for ourselves. And don't ya love progress? It just makes you feel so good! Look forward to the report o the personal training. Enquiring minds want to know!! Report Inappropriate Comment