REVJVH   25,082
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Stepping up on the hub of the wagon wheel

Friday, March 02, 2012

What happened to the last months? My last blog post was May 7, 2011. That's getting darned close to a year ago. Those days vanished.

Since May 7, I've ended one job, worked to start my own business, passed all my exams to be a Certified Professional Co-Active coach and add more letters (CPCC) after my name, gotten sidetracked a zillion times, spent countless hours with a new friend who needed my time (and I needed to do something with it), had that friend turn pretty firmly against me, met 27 amazing new people in a 10-month long program I'm doing in Co-Active Leadership, mowed my own lawn and shoveled my own driveway, thought about inviting a dog into my home and life, covered the gamut of emotions and moods, and not written about it here.

Partly, I haven't written here because I got my own professional website up and running and I'm blogging over there. But that's different blogging. Here, with you folks, I can be a bit more vulnerable and bit less professional. (If you're curious about that blog and website, send me a SparkMail.)

So here's what else I've done since May 7: I've gained back FORTY pounds. FORTY.

I hadn't stepped on the scale for a long time. Every time I did, it seemed to go in the wrong direction. I would want in my head to make the changes to reverse the direction, but somehow, I'm not finding the joyous motivation I had when I started this whole thing.

I know that if I have a couple of cocktails in the evening, my carb cravings kick in and my mental inhibitions and defenses fall away. And yet, there are times when I really want a glass of wine or a cocktail.

I know that French Fries aren't good for me and I know that I had strategies for eating just a few and leaving the rest. My motivation isn't there to do that.

Finances and a spat with the owners about my trainer led to a separation from my gym. Dawn the Tormentor, no longer with the gym, comes to my house to train me, but I know I'm not getting as much cardio as I was.

I'm trying to find my mojo again. So, as of today, I'm putting one foot on the hub of the wagon wheel and beginning to hoist myself up onto the wagon.

Is anybody there to welcome me back?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COACHKK 7/4/2012 12:48AM

    Hi Jeanny bo benny... I'm still here. . . still working to keep climbing back on the horse one day at a time. ..missed you!

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ONTHEPATH2 5/1/2012 1:29PM

    Was inspired to read your weightloss journey and a bit sad to see that you gained some back. What matters is that you are back! Welcome! You are one of the many who have proved this can be done - Now if only I can convince myself!!!

Thanks for sharing your spark!

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MYOWNHERO 3/25/2012 9:53AM

    Welcome back!

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SCHNUE 3/13/2012 11:05PM

  Jeanny rhymes with penny - you can do this - we can do this! One day at a time - one meal at a time. We say it all the time with other things - we will mess up - but we can start again. Foot on the hub and let's go!

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SOCKITTOME 3/13/2012 7:51PM

    Welcome back! I have fallen back into old habits myself and am working to get my head turned around so I can start losing what I've gained and then continue on. Life does get in the way sometimes, and we have to find our way back when we're ready. Onward and upward we go!

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SILLYHP1953 3/13/2012 9:38AM

    WELCOME BACK!! I sure have missed you. I'm putting my foot up on the wagon wheel hub, too, maybe knowing you are will help me.

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    I too was gone for a time. When I came back it was fun to see some of the old group but I truly missed some who had also diappeared... three in particular.

Now, within only a couple months, all three of you are BACK!!! I love when things come together.

I too write for other venues but agree, this is a place where I can be vulnurable, and proud, and too tired... I can be ever-so-much-more-so-myself here than just about anywhere else.

I am so happy you are back I could just wiggle!

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W82GOWHEE 3/5/2012 7:40PM

    Welcome back--gaining pounds lost happens to all of us and our choice is to learn from it and work to resume our healthful habits. And find what's sustainable for us. I'm working on that myself. I'm very glad to see you posting again and wish you much luck and perseverance for the new lifestyle you want. Your motivation is coming back--I know because you posted here!

Comment edited on: 3/5/2012 7:40:28 PM

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SNOWFILLY 3/3/2012 9:03AM

    emoticon BACK!!! I was just on your page this last week and wondering where you were!!! See how much you were missed? You will find your mojo again, I am sure of that!!! Welcome back!!! emoticon

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MIZCATHI 3/3/2012 7:53AM

    I have missed you so much and I am glad you are here and I hope you stay.

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JMBSJOURNEY 3/3/2012 12:32AM

  Welcome back! I slipped a little too - stopped finding time to exercise. I learned of SparkPeople from you and seeing you back will help me get motivated.

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    Just yesterday I was thinking about how I haven't heard from you for the longest time... SO gald you're back!!!! emoticon

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EUPHRATES 3/2/2012 3:13PM

    YES! Welcome back!!!!!


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BLUE42DOWN 3/2/2012 2:56PM

    I may not have been around in May of last year, but I'll step forward to say:

emoticon back!

The scale may not have moved in the right direction, but life was lived, lessons were learned, and quite the most scenic detour imaginable taken. It's your life and the journey is more important than the destination!

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GETFIT2LIVE 3/2/2012 2:25PM

    You are ALWAYS welcome back here! You've already taken the first step by logging on here; it's one small step, one small change at a time. You can do it; we're here to cheer you on whenever you need it!

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SOCON8IV 3/2/2012 1:33PM

    One baby step at a time, you can do it! We all fall down. It's having the courage to get back up that matters (that's always been a fave quote :-). Take it small, take it slow and celebrate the little, non-scale victories.

Good luck, you've got this in the bag!


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    WELCOME BACK!!!! The first step is the hardest...or so they say. :)

Hey, there's no time like the present to get back on the bandwagon and put your health back at the top of your list. You can do this!! Start small and then work big!! :)

- Michelle

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It's not a failure. It's a detour.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

I'm trying to become a fan of failure.

My friend the research chemist told me years ago that his job to was to fail in roughly 99% of the work he did. Each time he tried something that didn't work, he ruled out a possibility and got that much closer to something that might work. Every day he got up and went to his lab to try stuff that probably wasn't going to work. But there was a chance that a breakthrough might happen, and that's what kept him going back.

I want to love failure. I want to be able to routinely find the perspective that says "Cool! Spectacular failure can open up spectacular possibility."

The truth is that I can't always get there.

It's "orange barrel season" in Wisconsin. I'd never consider following a detour sign around a construction zone to be a failure. Even with the detour, I'll end up going where I have to go. If the journey really is going to last my whole life long, does it really matter if I end up going a little out of my way once in a while?

I am going to banish the word "failure" from my vocabulary when it comes to my health and fitness. I will not use it to describe choices I make that send me over my nutritional ranges. I will not use it to describe periods like the many weeks over the winter when I ate and drank more calories, too often "empty" ones, than I knew were good for me and moved less than was good for me.

I didn't fail. If this is truly a lifestyle change, then it's for the rest of my life. It's not temporary. It's not "do this for six weeks then do whatever you want to for the rest of your life." We all know how that turns out!

This week, I've been eating well and I have over 300 fitness minutes in. I made a new short-term goal, my first that involves a "what by when" target. I want to be back at my low weight by June 9. I think it's an achievable goal.

So, my journey into the wilderness last winter? Not a failure. Just a detour.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AELARLEE1 5/24/2011 3:43PM

    It is wonderful to watch and read your progress!

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SILLYHP1953 5/17/2011 8:22PM

    We see a lot of things we wouldn't normally see when we take a detour. Maybe even a road less taken.

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TRIGFROST 5/8/2011 6:58PM

    Failure is a "Good Thing" learn from all of it---If your open to failure in your life...

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SIGLED 5/8/2011 11:25AM

    "Failure is an event not a person." --Zig Ziglar

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SOCKITTOME 5/8/2011 9:32AM

    Wonderful blog! For me, it's been a balancing act between one belief that "99% compliance is not acceptable" and what you described -- detours will happen. I guess the trick in the long run is to end up at the intended destination, and not get lost or stop the trip because of the detour.

In the end, each person has to find his/her own path to health and fitness. One size does not fit all. Your blog is yet another example that I find here on Spark of a winning attitude. You are doing great and I applaud you! And I with you on the detour struggle -- had a detour of my own at the start of the year and, like you, I'm trying to get back down to my lowest weight so I can keep going. We'll get it done, yes we will!

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SUSANS_TURN 5/8/2011 8:13AM

    Wonderful outlook! I came across this quote once and every so often I forget it but you reminded with your blog today,"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford" This is one of my favorites! Thank you for the reminder!
emoticon emoticon

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MIZCATHI 5/8/2011 6:55AM

    You're right! Maybe to detour means we are just finding a way around the construction zone.

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JSPEED4 5/8/2011 4:43AM

    I do much better this time of the year, too! emoticon

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TUFFYBIRD 5/7/2011 10:59PM

    What a wonderful attitude ... an example to us all!

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W82GOWHEE 5/7/2011 9:58PM

    That's a wise attitude and wonderful revelation. Thanks for sharing.

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New Bike! Yay!!!!

Saturday, May 07, 2011

I can't stop waxing enthusiastic over my new bike. I should probably stop waxing and start riding!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 5/17/2011 8:34PM

    Cool bike! It has been so long since I rode one. We can ride bikes on the boardwalk at the beach before the season starts and I've always wanted to do that but never have yet. Always wanted to ride a bicycle built for two, too! Maybe those should be some little goals of mine.

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KA_JUN 5/7/2011 9:30PM

    Nice rig! Like your tour of your cockpit, nice Ergon grips! Hills make us strong! Climb! emoticon emoticon

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MIZCATHI 5/7/2011 4:49PM

    Yay is right! Beautiful!

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REDSHOES2011 5/7/2011 1:52PM

    Very nice and love all the extra's Revjvh!

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EVIEFS 5/7/2011 1:13PM

    I love biking and I love my road bike. Sounds like a great bike!!! Keep riding.

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FOZSPARK 5/7/2011 12:28PM

    Cool. Very nice.

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FITWITHIN 5/7/2011 10:48AM

    Love the new bike and all the added features. emoticon

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PINKGRANNY 5/7/2011 10:48AM

    Enjoy your new bike!

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Yet Another Kick Start

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

How many times do you have to kick-start a mule? As often as necessary, I guess!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AELARLEE1 5/24/2011 3:39PM

    Good luck on the goal!

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SPAM1977 5/9/2011 10:27AM

    Keep up the hard work! I encourage you to go for the 5k--they are usually pretty easy to helps me stay motivated when I keep concrete goals. Peace and blessings, Todd

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SILLYHP1953 5/5/2011 8:47PM

    I make challenges and then ignore or forget them. At least I'm getting out in the yard doing gardening stuff. You're doing great!

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NEWNECK 5/5/2011 1:10AM

    I really enjoy your video blogs. Thanks for sharing!

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REDSHOES2011 5/4/2011 10:17PM

    You got to get into sparks people recipes and find some yummy recipes to keep motivated..

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JSPEED4 5/4/2011 9:24PM

    It IS like a miracle when Spring starts warming the Earth again.
I like 2000 calorie days. I don't do them more than three times a month, though, nowadays. Thanks for your video blog.

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JUSTBIRDY 5/4/2011 8:43PM

    enjoy your spring!

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REVJVH 5/4/2011 7:54PM

    I recorded this post early in the morning and did everything to upload it except click "Post this blog," so it didn't go up until hours later!

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    Oh, rebellious one! I am right there with you. Spring is a time for wild-hair radishes and vinegar rebellion! Luckily it is also the time of bike rides and C25k! It is practically 60 now that it is afternoon and I am drunk with devil-may-care!!!
emoticon emoticon

I know it is so very hard to get back on that horse of clean eating and intentional movement but how can you not feel amazingly healthy and hale in weather like this!?!

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It Really Is Worth It

Thursday, April 21, 2011

How great is it when you realize it's all paying off?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 5/3/2011 8:22PM

    I'm getting off the computer and getting on my treadmill!!

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JUSTBIRDY 5/1/2011 12:14PM


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MIZCATHI 4/25/2011 8:35AM

    Thanks for saying it, because it really is worth it. All the "sacrifice", the uncomfortable feeling at times, everything. I feel like a new person! And it's obvious you do, too!

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    Brilliant, simply brilliant. You are an amazing jewel... and watching you discover and polish each little facet until it beams with the irredescent light of your inner wisdom is nothing short of awe inspiring.

Thank you.


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TAMIAMLEXICON 4/22/2011 6:10PM

    great blog. very motivating.

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WAISTINTIME 4/21/2011 6:51PM

    Thank you for being so down to earth. You are very refreshing. Loved the blog. I'm new so seeing this really helped me get through the day. Good luck to you!
Stay positive!

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AELARLEE1 4/21/2011 4:32PM

    Listening to you is like getting a shot of hope and encouragement! Thanks.

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HHOUSE8 4/21/2011 1:32PM

    Another great vlog, Sis! That's it - I'm calling that trainer I used to work with. She's been on my mind for ages... NOW is the time! I'm one of those thinner but not as healthy or strong as you people. I miss my strength! Now I need to have my pipsqueak of a daughter open jars for me. Sheesh!

You da AWSUM!!


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SIRIRADHA 4/21/2011 11:44AM

    Thank you. This morning I was beginning to wonder if it was worth it but your video sort of jumpstarted my brain to remember how far I've come. I especially appreciated the part about being heavy but healthy. It's really true. I've put some weight back on, but recently went for my yearly checkup, and the doctor told me my blood pressure was perfect, my cholesterol is good, my bones are strong, and my range of motion (even in the parts that give me pain) is still good. All this stuff wasn't true before I started working at being healthier. Your video was a gift to me. Thank you. Again.

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SIGLED 4/21/2011 11:21AM

    Super! Super! Super!

Doing my taxes ALMOST drove me to alcohol, especially when I discovered that I left out a W-2 and had to file an amendment! Whew! Now that I filed, I realize once again: I am a poor man, but happy in the freedom we have.

Great video! Just the right amount of time: 3-5 minutes.

You are so right! When I pushed myself out the door to go walking in the cold last night: The question arises: Is it worth it? By the end of the 3 mile walks the answer? Yes! It is worth it.

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HANKENSTEIN 4/21/2011 10:46AM

    Great stuff, and so true. You are a great example to us all.

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COOKWITHME65 4/21/2011 8:56AM

    Great Video Blog. You are a strong woman!

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JSPEED4 4/21/2011 7:56AM


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WINDSONG~ 4/21/2011 4:06AM

    Excellent blog. Good for you, be proud.

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