Thursday, January 12, 2012
This morning, for the first time in a long long time, when my alarm went off at 6am I was actually ready to wake up. (energy from exercise? hmmm I hope so!) I always go to bed at a decent hour (ok, usually) but for some reason, when 6o'clock gets here my body is NOT awake, even after doing this for over 3 years at various jobs I've had. But today I was ready to go.
Yesterday my accountability partner, Heather, told me her weight as of that morning. And I thought, well I'd better bite the bullet now and weigh myself. As I've said on the message boards, I have been avoiding this. I like to track my progress by my clothes and how I look in the mirror. The scale goes up and down and really is quite unfriendly to me. But I want to give her accurate reports. So I weighed myself.
It turns out, my weight is even higher than I estimated my start weight to be (or I've gained in the last week, but I don't think that's the case), and I figured sort of high on my start weight... now I am so tempted to type a frowny face here. But I won't.
I gaped when I saw the number. I got on twice to make sure, as our scale has a way of changing its answers after a few minutes (death threats?) But no, there it was... 138. (And I've already forgotten the ounces... can't forget those ounces, they count as weight loss too!) So I got in the shower. Now here's where a funny thing happened.
Instead of thinking of all the reasons why this was a waste of my time or beating myself up for letting myself get so far, I told myself "Well at least now you know, because if you thought it was 135 and then exercised and had a lot of really good food days, and you got back on and it only said 135, you would think it was for nothing but actually you would have lost 3lbs!" I looked on the bright side! And then I started thinking about my home gym, and how much I like my new accountability buddy, and how I should go ahead and get that kitchen scale I've been talking about to make this easier on myself.
So now, I'm blogging, and not feeling sorry for myself at all. The other reason I plucked up the courage to weigh was that looking in the mirror, it looks like I have made some progress. And that is one of the important things to me. Cause when I'm strutting my stuff on the beach, no one is going to put me on a scale. They're just going to say, "Wow she is smokin' hot!" :-D
Have a great day, fellow seekers!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Ok, so part one was about important revelations I had about myself today. Part two is about what I think I can do about it.
I talked to Bradley about booking our hotel for our summer vacation sometime in the next few weeks, even though it is several months away, so that will give me a hard deadline. That was one thing I had in the wedding. I always knew April 17 was approaching and was able to keep that in the back of my mind. Although it won't be nearly as monumental, it would be nice to post some vacation photos of me looking smoking hot on Facebook when that deadline for the vacation comes.
Secondly, I talked to him about my daydream of changing one of our upstairs bedrooms. My mother was staying in our house for a few months and she really brought a LOT of negative energy into our household. Now whenever I go upstairs, just seeing that room where she was gives me the creeps. What I would like to do is reclaim that space by changing it into a home gym. I told Bradley about my idea and that he could move his guitars into our open-area loft so we could put the guest bed that is currently in the bedroom into the place his guitars are now. So basically we would be rearranging the whole upstairs. I am really excited about this project since, as stated in part one, I love change. And it gives me a great long term goal to work toward. So I'm going to look at Pinterest and get an inspiration board together and start dreaming BIG about this!
Next thing, as I was looking on the Spark Boards I came across a thread asking for accountability buddies. I decided to PM someone who looked to be near my age and ask her about her goals. She replied and told me about them and so we have agreed to be accountability partners! I am really excited about that because I have wanted one for a long time. As much as I love my husband, he gives in to me too much when it comes to food or being a couch potato so I can't really rely on him to kick my butt when I need it. So yay for outside encouragement/accountability!
And lastly, per my revelation about myself, I have been kicking around the idea of how to give myself a steady dose of change while still working toward the same overall goals. I am going to toy around with the idea of switching up my diet and exercise routines every two weeks; meaning, for two weeks I will do partly or full vegetarian or vegan; then for two weeks I will follow the menus on the Spark nutrition tracker; then for two weeks I might do the meal plans Jillian Michaels gives in one of her books I bought last year. And for exercise, I might do two weeks of running and then two weeks of cycling (once I get my stationary bike); two weeks of one exercise DVD followed by two weeks of yoga. Etc. This way I might be able to trick my brain into getting the novelty it so desperately craves while still doing something physical or good for my body.
I know, this is a lot for one day but... such is my pattern. Now if only I can circumvent step 4 from happening... any suggestions on how to avoid losing your steam would be helpful!
Until next time, fellow seekers.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The last 4 days I have had setbacks; I went over my calorie goals every day over the weekend and then again yesterday. I had intended to realign myself on Monday but felt a banana split seriously calling my name...
So today I blogged about a few things I am going to try when my cravings strike again, before I indulge.
Today was a pretty easy day at work, I didn't have a real bulk of things to do so I spent a lot of time on Spark People. Lately I've been thinking about how I can recapture the motivation I had when I lost weight for my wedding. It's a lot harder without an overall goal like I had then. Even though I'm not much of a girly girl, the idea of your wedding day is pretty powerfully ingrained in the female psyche. And maybe seeing all the pictures of brides on wedding sites (always skinny, of course) motivated me as well. At any rate, I wanted to be the most beautiful I had ever been on that day - and I think I accomplished it. But how to recapture that when there is not a day when all eyes would be on me again?
Well that is a question I am still asking but I made some good strides today. For one, I got back on track with my calorie goals. For two, I did week 2 day 1 of the couch-2-5K app, something I'd been putting off the last two days. But the most important things I did today were mental.
I made a realization I hadn't connected about myself before. I already knew that I crave novelty and hate routine (two things that have seriously hampered - but to be fair, also jump started) my weight loss efforts many times. See, it always goes like this for me:
1) I get fed up with feeling like the "fat" girl in the room, or bulging out of my clothes in the wrong places, or something else motivated by guilt or shame (hmm I think I might be getting another revelation right now...)
2) I daydream for several days or sometimes weeks about a grand plan that will fix my weight problems and get me into killer shape - I never think about being in OK shape here, always killer shape.
3) I start my plan with much enthusiasm
4) Boredom or old habits come calling and I slowly lose steam until I give up all together. Rinse and repeat.
Does that sound familiar to anyone? Well I already knew all that (although typing it out has given me some other things to think about). But what I realized today was that the failing part, step 4, actually leads into step 1... it's like to get energized again, I have to mess up so I can reach a new point of disgust. Because it's only out of disgust or guilt that I can get going again.
Wow... this is the first cathartic blogging experience I've had in a while. And I haven't even talked about the other great things I did today for myself, mentally. I think I'll save that for a part two, in case anyone actually is reading this and it's getting way too long...
Ciao for now, fellow seekers.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
When I get a craving for pizza, ice cream, or candy bars I will try the following strategies to beat it before giving in:
1) Chew a piece of extra dessert sugar-free gum
2) Use my cravings app on my phone
3) Have a piece of fruit, some nuts, or some yogurt
4) Eat a glucose pill
5) Log in to Spark People and read some threads
6) Look at myself in the mirror
7) Visualize achieving my goals
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