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Accepting my body

Friday, April 03, 2009

I think one of the greatest things that confuses me when it comes to weight loss is how to accept my body and at the same time want to lose weight. If I love the body I'm in, why would I want to change it? I think that was one of my problems before when I stopped losing and started gaining back what I lost. Both times there was an event that maid me get distracted from my goals (like a vacation) and at that time I was pretty happy that I was thinner than before even if it wasn't yet ideal and I didn't feel the motivation to keep going, to keep losing and watching and recording on Spark.
There was a blog on the Daily Spark blog recently and it talked about a person's body image and how it correlates to their relationship with food.
I would be in the Food/Body Preoccupied/Obsessed section of the continuum that the blog links to. This means that I think about food a lot, and I'm ashamed when I eat too much, and that I want to change my eating patterns. Also that I spend a significant amount of time observing my body, observing others and comparing the two. I have many fat days and I feel like I would look better if I lost some weight. This was so incredibly accurate that it made me think a lot about it. Unlike some of the other members that commented on the blog, it feels like these too are directly linked for me. If I weighed less, I wouldn't obsess so much about food. But again, this relates back to my problems. When I accept my body (more), I don't obsess about food, and then I eat whatever I want and gain it back. It's a pretty bad loop.

So how do I get out of this loop? Well to me the answer is pretty clear, but putting it in place is not. I obviously need to make this a lifestyle change and not just a diet. This is one of Spark's main philosophy's. Actually making it a lifestyle change is what seems difficult to me. They way I eat and exercise just doesn't make me want to do it for the rest of my life. Especially the way I exercise, I work really hard. I know that once I start to maintain that I don't need to do as much but I tend to go into lazy mode at that point.
So I think I need to find ways to exercise and still have fun. I would love to join recreational sports but since I"m still a student doing co-op, I'm in a different place every 4 months, and that's not an option. I can always walk which is good. I'm also asking my dad to dig up my bike in my barn and get it ready to use. I hope that I can at least have fun with that.

If you know any other fun exercises, I would appreciate some tips!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I like the gym becaue if I get bored I can go try another machine. My favorite currently is rowwing, but maybe that's because I can sing "row, row, row a boat" to make it more amusing. I also like dance and kickboxing type dvds though it takes me about 3 weeks to be able to do the dvd since I'm just that cooridanted, lol.

I dunno, I just started small and told myself "I like this, I do like this", and now I kinda want to do and I do like it. It just took a very long while and a realization of yes, I do like doing things.

Good luck!

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This week was not so good, need help.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Once more I'd like to complain about how easy it is for me to stick with the exercising routine, but how hard it is for me to follow my nutrition plan and stick within my calorie range. This week I did very poorly with my calories and went over my range every day but one. Granted, I didn't go over by a whole lot each day and I think I'm still under the calories needed to maintain my weight each day (about 2,400) but this still isn't good at all.
I want to lose my weight by June 1st and at the rate I'm going, it's going to take a lot longer. I lose too little from week to week and often just stay the same because I can't seem to stay within my calorie range each day. It's very frustrating. If I just ate at my place each day it wouldn't be that hard, but because I'm often eating at my bf's parent's house, or my parents, or out for celebrations (lately there have been A LOT of bdays) and I feel like I need to eat a certain amount to please people otherwise they ask why I am not eating. I also have a habit of mindless eating....or rather eating without thinking about the consequences. Like for lunch today I had a slice of pizza and garlic bread. Big mistake! There goes 800cal in one go, and now I only have a max of 500cal left for the rest of the day. Considering that I'm going out tonight, It's going to be incredibly tough to stay within, yet again.
It's so frustrating that I work so hard at the gym and then all that hard work goes to waste when I overeat! Why do I do this to myself?
So I need help finding solutions to my problems. How can I give myself a better reminder of my goals?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPIRITJOURNEY51 3/28/2009 10:45PM

  I was struck by your concern about what your friends/family thinks. It's only you that matters in this game of a healthier lifestyle. Good for you that you are doing all the exercise! I am finding it the opposite - I track everything I eat and my nutritional values, but don't do enough weights or cardio. Don't be so down on yourself because you are doing well. They say the longer it takes to take it off the longer you will keep it off. YOU GO!!!!!

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LIZZYP609 3/27/2009 2:28PM

    Not to be insensitive but stop worrying about what other people expect you to eat! That being said here are a few suggestions.
If you feel you want everything that is available just eat smaller portions of it. Wear a rubber band around your wrist for a couple of days (or months). Put it on the wrist that you carry your plate on. Put the initials WWSPD (what would sparkpeople do?). Look for foods on menus that are high in protein and low in fat - Just because they put the bread in the middle of the table doesn't mean you have to eat it. If you want it just take half or just a few bites. Make sure you are drinking your water. You won't have any room for all the food!
You can do this. Don't worry, it is a slow process.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I haven't had much time for an update, but I just want to briefly mention a couple of things.
I weigh myself weekly and this week I hit 158lbs! So not only did I meet my first goal (with a reward of a nail polish and a necklace), I am also a healthy BMI! I was super excited about this and it gave me extra motivation for this week. I was at a standstill for so long, finally I've made tangible progress!
I've also been doing really well with my calories and exercises. My new lunch time routine is working out excellently. Going to the gym at lunch really allows me to get my strength training in and I feel great! Plus I escape the temptation of the AMAZING food that my work makes. Only the odd time do I let myself have a bit of it, if it's something I love, but I work it in to the rest of the day. Otherwise I have oatmeal or yogurt and sometimes a fruit. Still yummy!


Progress and not usual

Friday, March 13, 2009

As per usual, I always do well in one way but bad in others. I wish for once I could just do everything right!
So this week I was doing pretty well calorie-wise. I managed to stay in range most of the days....until yesterday. My bf's family had a huge super-sized family back of m&m peanuts. He and a friend were doing homework while I was watching tv and they brought the bag down. It was horrible...I think I ate 3 normal sized bags. Whoever invented the huge bag was a terrible person! Needless to say I went over my calories....not as much as I usually do on the weekends though.
This week I was also sick, so that affected my eating habits.
Exercise-wise I'm doing pretty well. I'm now up to running 18min! I've also adjusted my program a bit. Yesterday I started going to the gym at lunch time to avoid the amazing, calorie packed lunches that my work makes and to fit my strength training in. I think this will be good for me, I definitely needed to work my muscles. I'll alternate between arms and legs. Today I'm feeling it in my arms, which I love. I love knowing my workout worked hehe.
So this weekend is going to be tough. Eating out both saturday and sunday. I'm going to try to be really good though, wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LFLFLPLP 3/17/2009 9:41AM

    Hope the weekend went well for you! One thing that helps me when going out to eat is looking up the menu before hand and picking what you are going to eat. Then when you get there just don't even open the menu. I was laughing about the M&M's. My mil brought a big bag of them one day (and this is the woman who says we should cut back on sweets, lol). Then the next morning the lady I babysit for, and who brings food each week, added in ANOTHER big bag of M&M's. It was a conspiracy I tell you! I absolutely LOVE them. I planned to have a serving and did but the way I had to rearrange the rest of my meals for the day left me sooooo hungry so I was able to resist....okay maybe I had one or two when I would pour some for the kids......

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Monday, March 02, 2009

Still a HUGE problem for me is WEEKENDS! It's so frustrating! I do great during the week when I have some structure to my meals. On the weekends I either stay at my parents house or at my bf's and at both places I don't have regular meals, and there is the temptation of so many foods that I'd never have at my apartment. I also end up going out and eating out a lot too. My brain also switches to the mentality that it's the weekend, so I should be able to relax and enjoy myself. I end up being busy or having little access to a computer so that I can't track what I eat as well.
I know this is the reason for my slow progress, and why I tend to lose 1lb or less each week. It's frustrating that I spoil all the hard work I did during the week on the weekend. I know I should be the one in control. Control is sooo tough when I'm faced with cookies though! And it's so hard to practice moderation. Once I start it's hard to stop.
So what's the solution then?
I can't just ask my parents or my bf's parents to hide their food. Asking them for healthy alternatives doesn't work either because even if they are there, I will still head for the cookies. One solution is to visit less, but why would I want to do that?
Obviously I just need to get tougher. I think I need some way to remind myself of my goals while I'm there, but I'm not sure what. Any ideas?
My goal is to completely track my intake next weeked, even if I have to right it down on a piece of paper until I find a computer!


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