RESPLENDENT's Recent Blog Entries

Bad day - time to complain!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I really feel like I am going no where.

I have only lost 7 lbs...and I have been doing this for months. I know that I can't expect the weight to drop fast (it was gained from years of overeating!) but it's frustrating.

I always sabotage my entire day by eating something at the end of the day I don't need. Well not always, but a lot. And then afterward I feel like crap.

I keep pulling my neck somehow - something I have never had a problem with before - and it makes me scared to go to yoga and sometimes it is painful even to move. And I don't want to get out of the habit of exercising. I was just getting used to it!

And my boyfriend is gone for three weeks straight. So that means I'm going to be (nearly) completely alone for three weeks straight, other than some people from class and maybe getting together with a friend or two once or twice. It's good to get some thinking in though... I have no idea what I want from my life. Nothing seems to be constant these days.

I don't expect to know everything or even mostly everything... I just wish I knew something. I wish I was good at something. So far I haven't found anything I am particularly good or talented at and it's very frustrating. I feel like everyone around me has some sort of niche and I don't really belong anywhere -- academically, personally, emotionally...anywhere. It's infuriating, lonely and sad. I just want to be good at one damn thing. Is that too much to ask? This leads to my next complaint (hey! It's a blog! I usually don't complain anywhere else!) about how I have NO CLUE what I want from my future. I'm sick of it. I see people roll their eyes every time I change what I want from my future or what my goal is (although it's not like I am constantly changing degrees or careers - just ultimate outcomes). They must think I am just flimsy or something. Maybe I am.

I am just sad today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEWEL-LEE 10/22/2008 8:14AM

    I know how you feel. I am the same way when it comes to not knowing what I am good at or what I should be doing with my "so called" talents since it doesn't seem like I have many. So, take heart and know that you are not alone!

As for the weight loss, just keep working the program and it will come off. It may take a little while longer but it will come off. Perseverence is key.

Report Inappropriate Comment

things I need to tell myself

Thursday, July 24, 2008

You are beautiful.
You deserve to do what it takes to be happy and content.
You are intelligent.
You do not need to deny yourself self-love because others have in the past.
You do not need to replace self-love with food or anything else. It just doesn't work.
You do not need to stop yourself because of fear. Fear does not control you. You do.
You are not a failure.
You are a work in progress.
You are young. Give yourself time.
You can't expect yourself to be everything.
If you can't do something perfect, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all.
Have faith in yourself. You might be surprisedif you don't stop yourself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITTEHMAMA1 7/24/2008 10:27PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

One day

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I just wanted to add something as a personal reminder to myself:

One day at a time.