Wednesday, October 28, 2009
It occurs to me that it is obvious that I eat to make myself feel better. A gray, rainy day and some sweets left around are like an alcoholic finding liquour! However, when I look in the mirror, I do not like what I see. When I try to buy a belt and realize even if I could find one my size, that it would not look very attractive on me, I do not feel good. I had my wake up call this summer when I went to a party where I would see people who hadn't seen me for decades. I almost didn't go because I was embarrassed to show up looking the way I do at 306 pounds. I realize, I am not happy with my size but I don't know how to stop eating the foods that sabotage my diet. Six weeks ago I resolved to lose a pound a week and so far have only lost a half pound. I am becoming more and more conscious of how I use food to help me improve my moods. Sometimes it seems the only thing between me and sanity is if I allow myself that Snickers bar. I know, you can hear that candy snickering at me right now!
I realize this is a day by day process and I am trying to change a lifetime of habits. The real challenge is to continue to persist in spite of my shortcomings.