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Get it together please.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

I needed to blog yesterday. I think I would have gotten more done. I have the habit of following my DH's lead and he has days where he does not accomplish much at all. Other days he moves mountains. I am the person who need to typically stay at more of a constant balance I think. I was thinking yesterday that I need to blog about my plan. I always need some sort of plan in order to move forward.

Not a big deal. I am ok with taking days off but I would like to accomplish a bit more than I did yesterday. I could have easily. But... TODAY IS A NEW DAY.

emoticon I did get on the treadmill for a 2.5 mile walk. My hope is that if I get back to this I will have more energy.

My energy levels have been so very low. I was thinking it had to do with food but it very well may be due to my lack to treadmill routine.

emoticon My food choices have been much better. My focus right now is to not make BAD choices. I am doing ok.

It may also be stress that is kicking my energy into low gear.
I noticed quickly that when I was asking my DH yesterday morning about his thoughts on my work situation I kicked into high blueberry pancake eating gear. NOT GOOD. I was much better the remainder of the day. It was my guardian angle that stopped the pancake eating (crazy story there). Anyway, I need a plan regarding my job.

emoticon I need to really start looking hard at full time positions.
emoticon I will wait a bit longer to do anything drastic, like switching to a different consulting firm. That is still a constant reminder... that I could have gone to a different firm (had the offer) where I would be getting paid even if I was 'on the bench'.
emoticon I am going to reach out to a guy that has been with my consulting group and ask him for some advise also. I do not like that I did not hear from them at all last week.

The other thing is that... you know me... I believe that ....

The reason for this 2 week "break" was for me to realize that I need to maintain some consistent focus on our activity at our acreage. This is what strengthens my relationship with my DH. That is important and is not something I have focused a lot on in the past.

I need to remain committed to doing this and I am not sure I am there yet. It is not that I don't want to but I have a strong track record of letting ofter things get in the way (pups and work). Not sure how to make this happen.

emoticon Tomorrow my DH has his colostomy (just a screening). NO FUN for him so today will definitely be a down day. He can't eat. There is a good change of rain and it is drizzling now. That is helpful.


Take things a decision at a time and stick with a plan.

emoticon Continue the walks with Sierra daily (at least once, twice is better)
emoticon GET on the darn treadmill. i know I feel better once I do.
emoticon Do better with the job searches.



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 7/24/2014 12:45PM

    Sorry I'm late .. must be because I didn't get an invite for the emoticon emoticon emoticon

I'm addicted to waffles! Santa brought the family a Belgium waffle iron for Christmas last year and Oooo they're are sooooo yummy! I can't stop at one. Redi whip & emoticon and I'm in heaven! emoticon emoticon

Okay ...enough about food!

emoticon emoticon & emoticon

You many not think you're doing enough but every time I check your blogs you're walking Sierra or on the treadmill. You rock!

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BLESSED2BEME 7/21/2014 11:55AM

    I am so happy that you've had extra time with both DH & Sierra lately. I think that is the biggest part of 'everything happens for a reason'.

Hope hubby's test goes well!

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PUPPYWHISPERS 7/21/2014 8:33AM

    My hubby had a screening colonoscopy last year, and it was no big deal. The prep part is worse than the test itself. I hope it goes well!

You need to allow yourself to put YOU in the spotlight, even if it's just for a brief time. If the treadmill helps you feel better, than for heaven's sake, get on it! Other things can wait. Believe me, I know. Maybe we can set up a little treadmill challenge to keep you motivated?

I'm realizing this comment is going all over the place, I'm a bit scatterbrained today--still tired. So I will tell you that you are emoticon and to emoticon!

I know you can do it!

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/21/2014 1:22AM

    Good luck with the plan.Like you I need some structure.

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LIVINGFREE19 7/20/2014 10:18PM

    I know what you mean about not kicking it in to gear, some days are just like that for everybody.
i hope your plan works out for you!

Big emoticon

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BOILHAM 7/20/2014 12:00PM

    Good luck with the plan. emoticon

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DEBBYFROMMT 7/20/2014 9:03AM

    I hope it's just a screening colonoscopy. The prep is worse than the bite! Hope everything goes well for your DH. Love the nike saying! "Just Do It. Even if youSuck at it!" That is right! emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/20/2014 7:47AM

    Oh my. Has your Hubby been sick, and I missed that? I wish him luck. It's good you are not working. You can be there for your Hubby, and help him along.

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A HUGE Spark Benefit - Thank you Friends!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

I am all over the place. Doing well spending more time with my DH and growing a stronger relationship with Sierra.

emoticon FOOD choices however have been really poor. This is NOT like me or I at least like to think that this is NOT like me.

I felt bad this morning and yesterday morning feeling guilty for overeating each day prior. I did better yesterday until it came to dinner and I could not keep myself from teh stupid dinner rolls.


I went to FriendsFeed and there was a comment from MAMADWARF stating "This week has been full of bad choices...why the heck do I do that?????"

emoticon I hope she doesn't mind my posting this. emoticon

It simply made me feel better immediately. I was NOT ALONE.
There always seems to be someone there who understands or is going through the same thing here on Spark. It really makes a difference.

Anyway, I shot her a message. I know that we both know how to make good choices, good decisions. My bad choices happened to be about food this week. My weight is going up and up. I was giving myself a break but I realized this had to ...
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

In the end I did really good today. Situations fell into place so I was not overly tempted but I still consider this a huge step in the right direction.

MY DH said lets stop at Duncan Donuts on the way to the acreage. I hurried and went to the web-site nutrition page to figure out what I could get. We ended up not stopping there anyway. We went to Arby's. Never eat there but decided on a Junior Turkey and cheese. Not bad and quite filling. I thought about the bun and how it was not good for me but decided ... this was NOT a BAD decision.

I ended up leaving our normal snack bag at home today. I so very rarely do this. LOL It was clearly my Guardian Angle trying to help me from munching. LOL

Anyway, I am exhausted. I think being tired is a HUGE reason why I eat. I did not get on the treadmill. If I had, I might have more energy. Stress is wacking the energy away too. Anyway I had a light dinner and feel I just might be back on track.

I am just so grateful for all of you. No matter what I happen to be going through you are there any always seem to know how to make me feel better.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon for the day :)

2 additions - I am getting stronger though I think. I did a plank for 2 minutes again and it was easier than last time.

Lastly, I decided to ignore my being tired and took Sierra for a short walk. Well, I was in the mood for a short thousand steps in the fresh air and she came along... Even though she is tired as well. I am hoping we both sleep well for it :).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLESSED2BEME 7/21/2014 11:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 7/19/2014 5:36PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PICKIE98 7/18/2014 6:31PM

    This is why our lives are divided into days!!!!What if a day lasted a week? You would have to roll me around like a cylinder!! We can re-start our day in hours, ,,,

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DEBBYFROMMT 7/18/2014 8:46AM

    I hope you slept well! A plank for 2 minutes!? That is awesome! I think you are selling yourself short. You are stronger than you know. Think about that and now go prove it! You know you have choices, now choose wisely. Have a wonderful day and be good to yourself!

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/18/2014 12:30AM

    Awesome you are doing well ,it is like the song by Chumbawumba "I get knocked down but I get up again ,nothing's gonna' keep me down !"

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BOILHAM 7/17/2014 9:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/17/2014 8:13PM

    As long as you continue to try, you are doing a great job!!! Start each morning with a clean slate leaving the past behind you. Then do the very best you can just for that day!!! Soon you will have a streak of great days going on!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Prayers, blessings and hugs,

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LOPEYP 7/17/2014 7:42PM

    I always find that I have less willpower when I'm tired..........which is why we went out to dinner again tonight. My choice wasn't great but I only ate half so I may have stayed in my range. Haven't tracked it yet.
Never feel alone in this. We are all in the same boat. Dealing with some issue or another that impacts our daily lives and pushes us towards bad decisions. We are always hear to lend support or a boot in the pants. emoticon

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KEKEIKO 7/17/2014 7:21PM

    You haven't failed. Failing is falling down and not getting back up. You get back up, brush yourself and get moving again. You're focused and stronger than you think!

Isn't it just great when someone tempts you with Dunkin or in my case DQ. I'm even lactose intolerant and I still can't say no.

Did you know Arbys has whole grain flatbread wraps?

I'm glad you found someone to connect with on Sparks. That's what makes Sparkpeople a great place.

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Stress, Weight gain & Remaining Positive

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Let's see where to start.

emoticon For the past several nights I feel as though I am working in my dreams. It may be project management work for building or who knows what. It is not necessarily bad dreams. It is simply tiring.

emoticon My weight is definitely up. emoticon
It is frustrating but definitely not unexpected. I am grabbing emoticon and yesterday even emoticon . This is not my typical behavior. We went out for an early dinner buffet (which we do about every 6 month or year maybe) and I ate a little of everything that was bad for me. It was crazy.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon On a positive note, I did go to the farmers market earlier this week and bought loads of fruit. I just need to eat it.

emoticon Work - I am in between assignments. I am actually enjoying the time off for a change. We are getting lots done on the shed and I am able to research next steps. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the research after a full days work, so this is good.

The stress comes in that I do not know what my next assignment/project will be or when. I did get a e-mail then follow up call from a company regarding a full time position earlier this week. I am suppose to hear back today as to if I will receive a phone and potentially in-person interview. This could be quite interesting.

I sent several e-mails in last Friday for permanent positions and have not heard back on any as of yet. I realize it takes time.

emoticon I think the bulk of yesterday's stress came first thing when I received a call from the place that my DH was looking into for a pup (Lars is his name). We had been checking his e-mail at least twice a day and finally they called. Well it ended out that someone came in and adopted him over the weekend. I was quite frustrated to say the least. We had been approved and would have gone straight in when my DH spoke with them last wee had we known the process. Well, the woman said there were other "in front of us" that wanted Lars. Well, we really would have liked them to explain this earlier. The woman went on to explain that they do not have history on any of the pups because they are rescues and actually make a guess on the breed. They had another pup so I thought we might take the visit and get him.

Well, when my DH got home from the acreage he was really VERY turned off when I told him about Lars. That was it. He was no longer interested at all. This was a bit of a blow. He even said, maybe I was right that we did not need a pup not with all that was going on with our building the shed and such. UG. That is not what I though.

Anyway, I know....

I am a true believer in that but... of course it does not make it any easier.

On the positive....

emoticon Sierra and I are consistently getting in our morning walks.
emoticon emoticon I am not doing good with the treadmill though. I simply have not had a lot of motivation to get in any real miles. I think it makes a big difference with my DH home. Before between assignments, I quickly got in a routine of jumping on and watching Good Morning America. Now during GMA, I am typically trying to be somewhat quite because DH sleeps in a bit. Not that I can not get on the treadmill. Just a lazy excuse really.
emoticon MY DH and I have been able to spend a lot more time together and that has been really nice.

I simply need to hang in there and ...

Additionally, I should add that I do know ...

- to have a a wonderful DH
- to have Sierra. We are getting even closer after 9 years.

On a side note - My boy slept in the craziest positions. LOL

- to have had...

Aspen and

- and to be able to be not working for a few weeks and not worry about it too much.

HUGS to you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIRIDDELL 7/17/2014 11:11AM

    I am so glad you are bonding with Sierra .Things will work out with a pup.

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BLESSED2BEME 7/17/2014 10:44AM

    Dealing with rescue groups can be difficult and I see you experienced that very thing. I suppose people adopting babies go through that too. They get their hopes up and then something falls through. I believe too that things happen for a reason. The right pup will be there at the right time. I'm glad to hear that you and Sierra are getting closer. I'm sure she experienced the losses of both Aspen and Utah also - something you share with her. You need each other.

The fact that you and DH are getting to spend more time together - huge! And wonderful!

Hang in there. emoticon

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LASARRE 7/16/2014 11:06AM

    Enjoy the time off while you have it. It can be fleeting. Sorry about the pup. In sure another will come along.

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BOILHAM 7/16/2014 11:05AM

    Life's ups and downs. You have the right attitude.
By the way, I'm retired for 7 years now, and work in my sleep all the time. Sometimes at jobs I had 40 years ago!

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LOPEYP 7/16/2014 10:31AM

    I am glad that you are enjoying the break from working and trusting the process.
I am a fatalist (I think that's the word) and I believe that our lives are already predetermined when we are born. That definitely takes a lot of the pressure off me.

Having more time with DH is also a great thing. emoticon

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KEKEIKO 7/16/2014 10:14AM

    I can understand your DH's frustration about Lars. He probably had his heart set on him and felt let down just like you were.

The adoption process can be tough on the heart strings. You know how we are with our fur pals and feel this is a great home however we were denied on a couple adoptions. I didn't get it and the teens were upset about it but some things are out of your hands.

I believe one day the right pup will enter your life. It's just not time yet.

WTG on bonding with Sierra. She's enjoying the time you spend together on those walks. emoticon

Sometimes we just need emoticon & emoticon to get us thru those stressful times. Remember what stressed spelled backwards is. emoticon

Gentle hugs. emoticon emoticon

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DEBBYFROMMT 7/16/2014 8:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Remember patience is a virtue. All good think come to those who wait. The right dog is out there. Maybe hasn't even been born just yet. Hang in there!

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WDIPIM 7/16/2014 7:12AM

  You've been through a lot - hang in there. You can do it.

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Our project. Too many pics. :)

Monday, July 14, 2014

A long time ago my DH had a vision.

I am missing adding in the pictures where we dug for the foundation and the poured.

3 vents I think because he will store gasoline in the shed.

Putting the sill plate in with padding under it.

Had to cut holes in the footer because the sill plate was held in by anchor bolts that extend up.

Generator and compressor near by so we could use the air nail gun.

Yep, that's me. My DH did not like the height and I was surprisingly comfortable with it. It was actually fun.

Yep, 3 windows and a door, which we will make.

Yep, we learned about hurricane straps (although we of course don't need them). We did over kill everywhere.

Next, I need to figure out the roof.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLESSED2BEME 7/21/2014 11:51AM

    Wow - I bet you have a great sense of accomplishment making it yourself. Very cool!

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DEBBYFROMMT 7/15/2014 9:37AM

    Wow! (Wish a project could as fast as your pictures!)

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LOPEYP 7/15/2014 7:30AM

    Awesome job!

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/15/2014 12:36AM

    Fantastic ! I loved the photo of you too !

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LIVINGFREE19 7/14/2014 10:36PM

    What a super job!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/14/2014 10:26PM

    AWESOME!!! WAY TO GO on doing such a great job!!! You are absolutely beautiful!!! Hope we get to see more pictures of you!!!
Enjoy a fabulous day at a time!!!
Continued blessings and hugs,

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PUPPYWHISPERS 7/14/2014 6:58PM

    Yep, we built our house too, and yep, we learned about hurricane straps too... We built our shed as a pole barn, but it's similar in size to yours. Are you planning to build your house there someday also, or will it be used as a tree farm?

I love the pic with you...need to see more of those!

Great job!

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KEKEIKO 7/14/2014 6:51PM

    Look at you with that big power tool! emoticon
You guy did a fantastic job thus far. emoticon
Takes a long time but it sure looks emoticon
Thanks for sharing the pics.

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PICKIE98 7/14/2014 6:03PM

    All of that in one day? Very good. I think a nice tin roof is in order.. SHingles will moss over in a few years with all of those trees, trust me, I already replaced mine after ten years with no trees above my shed. Critters cannot do ANYTHING to a tin roof either.

I love the foundation!! You wo ought to build a green house next,,sure do great work!!

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If we see stress coming can we control it?

Friday, July 11, 2014

Woke up at 5:30. Not bad. I would like to stick to a good routine and not start sleeping in. As soon as I do, I will be back to work needing to get up earlier.

emoticon Took Sierra for her morning walk. Super humid but ok. I got back to find an e-mail regarding the Greensboro project. "I spoke with the client late yesterday and it looks like they are going with a candidate from another firm that is local."

Then same...

Immediate stress and missing my boy.

Oh no, that's not right. HeHeHe emoticon

I told myself that if getting on the treadmill could possibly help with a day that was promising to be stressful I needed to do it. So... 1 quick mile on the treadmill.

OK... Back to my original question. If we see stress coming can we control it?
Sure, IF we are thinking straight and can manage the self talk.

Too funny! The above image is NOT at all what I was looking for in my pictures folder but it jumped out at me. I need to come up with a plan and stick with it and trust the process.

emoticon Do what I am supposed to do and I will be fine.
emoticon The puppy situation will work itself out. Trust the process and keep pushing. Hum, I should ask the vet today.
emoticon Work. Hum, this is a bit harder. I selected RGP because I felt I needed to push myself and be challenged. Is that really the case or should I have selected Carlisle and Gallagher where I would have a decent pay and not push so hard?

I do know what Happiness is to me. It was Utah. No matter what kind of day I was having I was happy with him. It was truly magical. I was so lucky to have him in my life.

So what do I do now. No choice. I need to keep moving forward.

Do I make work a secondary thing? Focus on my DH and the acreage?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOUNGNSMYLIE 7/13/2014 2:23PM

    I agree with another Sparker; you always give so much thought in your blogs!! I love it. It is such a challenge to control the self-talk, but yes, when we master that skill, we respond better to stress. Keep moving forward and keep your beautiful Utah in your heart.

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HOLLYM48 7/12/2014 8:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 7/12/2014 2:01AM

    I sure wish you luck in the employment situation, another stress to deal with makes life pretty hard, breathe deep!

Big emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/12/2014 1:40AM

    Work should always be a secondary thing.Your husband your acreage Sierra those are enduring work is transitory.No one ever looks back and says "I should have spent more time at work.Believe me I worked my heart out ,spent long hours and when I got hurt in an accident it was my friends ,family and dog that were there for me work soon forgot me.

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DEBBYFROMMT 7/11/2014 5:45PM

    OMG I LOVE the pity train has derailed! Not only is it funny, but so true!

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CARRIEMT 7/11/2014 5:42PM

    How exciting to learn more about rescues, and to see if there could be a fit for you. Sorry to hear about work, uncertainty can be a challenge. Have a great weekend :)

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KEKEIKO 7/11/2014 1:39PM

    You certainly have uncertainty. I'm not good with giving advice about that so I will address the positive.

WTG on getting out there for your walk with Sierra in spite of the humidity!

Taking a job that is challenging rather than feeling stuck was probably the good choice however taking a job that is less stressful and more stable would have been the cautious route I would have taken but that's me and not you so at the time you made the right choice for you.

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BLESSED2BEME 7/11/2014 11:15AM

    Lots to think about as usual. You are a thinker for sure. I hope you can let go of some of the thinking and just plain enjoy your weekend. Hurray for getting up and walking this morning.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you process all of this.

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