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Constant Anxiety

Thursday, September 04, 2014

So I realized as of late I have had tremendous anxiety. I had a "crazy moment" with my boyfriend, where I was in bed sleeping and I woke up to him still being at the computer room at midnight. I've also been stressed out about my health. I've started birth control about 2 months ago, and as of late every time I have sex or do "strenuous" activity (running), I end up bleeding. This has been going on and simply does NOT stop. So I made an appointment with the gyno next week. Hopefully by then it goes away, but I still need to discuss it with her and do tests just in case. No pain though, thankfully.

I knew I've been deficient in vitamin D and B12 in a while so I went ahead and bought supplements for it. I hope it helps give me a boost in energy. I know I definitely need it. I absolutely need to run today, so once I'm done with school advisement I'm heading straight to the track.

Hope all of you are well! I'm yawning as I type!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JTREMBATH 9/4/2014 2:45PM

    emoticon Hope you can sort that out with your Dr.

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BRENDA_G50 9/4/2014 2:40PM

    Hope it turns out to be nothing bad when you visit your gynecologist next week, Bleeding like that would scare anyone! Hope everything goes well, you'll be in my prayers. emoticon

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JMARISK 9/4/2014 2:30PM

    Deep breath. All this stress is going to wreck havoc on your system. No wonder you're so tired.

You're taking the right steps by going to the doctor, taking supplements, and staying active. I'm sure they can figure out what's going on. Most likely, your body is trying to adjust to the pill. IT can take a few months. It could be that they need to switch you to another brand or type--there are several on the market.

Bottom line is to try not to stress about it, keep on keeping on by staying on track with your eating and fitness goals. You got this!

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Have been working at eating healthy, and slowly but surely succeeding.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Today I'm happy to say that I weighed in at 163.6 lbs. When I came back from El Salvador I was nearly 170 again, so I'm happy I'm once again under 165. However, I have been stressed out to oblivion because my best childhood friend almost died this week, so I'm proud I haven't been mindlessly stress eating, to say the least. I have been visiting him constantly and having late nights, because I know he needs me there for him. I brought him some miso soup yesterday and his eyes widened with excitement, and that's all I could ask for.

Outside of that, everything has felt like it's been at a standstill. I haven't been running, ouch, but to be fair it's always raining. I do know I have to get back on it, and hopefully tomorrow I can gain the motivation to go out and run again. I feel like my life is in its proper place when I run, so I know it's something I need to do. I also wish I would write more on SP, so once again, I will try to make it happen. Thankfully I use my food tracker as much as possible.

Anyway, I promised some more pictures from when I went to El Salvador. :) If you have any questions you're always welcomed to ask. Here they are!

Have a good weekend, all! :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 8/17/2014 4:50AM

    That was a very respectably timed turn around on the weight gain from your trip. You should be proud of yourself! So, get back out there and RUN!! I have been itching to get back to exercising now that I feel better. It took about 7 months for me to feel entirely human again after having my son, but now it's been a whole month since then, and I still haven't been able to find time to exercise! Adding the baby into my schedule has somehow sabbotaged the only times I used to run or go to the gym. Oh well, I'm sure I will figure it out eventually.

Love the photos! It looks beautiful there! I hope you had a good trip and I hope your friend gets well soon!

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CONFUSEDBIRD 8/15/2014 5:52PM

    Beautiful photos! Congrats on getting your weight back down! Go for a run for me! I would absolutely love to run right now.

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PRAIRIECROCUS 8/15/2014 12:02PM

    emoticon on your weight loss !
I hope that your friend will get better, soon !

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Went on a trip, now time to get to work-- for real this time.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Since being with Mathew I have been *so* lazy. Just snuggling and going out to eat has been bliss. However, I think this time I really am serious to continue on with my workout/eating plans. I've felt so fat and blah, and frankly it's because I've been eating like crap. Not awful, but just too much food overall. I even eat more than Mat! So I really need to watch myself and try to get to my goal weight. All it would take would be a solid 5 months to reach my goal, if not less. I'm not who I used to be, but if I'm not careful, I definitely can be! So since I've been back (Tuesday) I have been counting my calories to the tee, and buying food which I can easily count calories for. :)

So anyway, a big reason why I've been slacking is because Mat and I planned a trip to El Salvador. It was so awesome! Here are just a few pictures for you guys:

Looking forward to my weigh-in in two weeks! :) Hopefully at that point I'll be where I left off on my tracker. Cheers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 8/14/2014 9:35AM

    Wow beautiful!

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REALITYCHECK86 8/2/2014 5:01AM

    Looks like fun!! I'm glad you found someone to do fun things with who seems to make you happy. It can be hard to work on those goals when you start getting really comfortable with someone. At least for me, it's easy to develop/pick up bad habits. It's nice to see you on here again, not letting that lapse go on for too long. I know I have had my own struggles, and have been off spark several times. But the important thing is to realize when you need to make a change and take steps toward making it happen! Great pictures btw!
emoticon emoticon

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ONTHEPATH2 7/30/2014 4:35PM

    Beautiful photos! You can do it!!! One choice at a time! emoticon emoticon

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JAMBABY0 7/30/2014 4:32PM

    very nice pics, thanks for sharing and good luck on weigh day

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Many changes in my life

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

So I haven't updated by blogs at all, but I will try my best to blog at least twice a week. So much has happened and I haven't documented anything, but all and all I have done alright. However, I weighed myself today and saw I was at 165 lbs. That's scary! I was at 155 not too long ago, so that means I need to get back on it and lose my final weight. At this point in time, I would be happy to be around 140, and my ultimate goal weight is 126 lbs.

I now have a boyfriend, who I met sometime after leaving my ex husband. His name is Mathew and he really is a great guy, I care about him a lot. He makes me smile, we have mutual friends, and next month we're going to El Salvador. I have been really happy, but with that comes overeating, of course. So it's time to watch what I eat. Here is a picture of us, of course, out to eat :) :

I now work at a law firm, so unlike working at the pharmacy, I now have time to track everything and I have a set schedule, so I really have no excuse but to track all my food. Overall I've enjoyed being home and spending time with my family. Even though I left Andrew, I feel that it was the best decision for me. Thankfully we don't hate each other and ended everything amicably, that's all I could really ask for.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well, but I'm keeping this short today. :) I'll try my best to post updates more frequently from now on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 6/26/2014 4:11AM

    Hey, good to hear from you! It does sound like a lot has happened. I had no idea you were having relationship problems let alone a divorce! I'm glad everything ended ok though, I've seen too many end in a disastrous mess. You look beautiful in that picture! I'm glad to see you've found someone who makes you happy! I look forward to seeing more of your posts. I am back from being away for a while myself after having my baby 6 months ago! Good luck!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CONFUSEDBIRD 6/25/2014 8:32AM

    Wow life made a 180! Happy to hear your doing well!

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I have changed

Monday, March 10, 2014

So today I weighed myself and I finally broke my -50 lbs plateau. I'm now at 165.8 and yes, it took a LONG time!! But I made it! I now only have 40 lbs to lose, with 20 of them simply being vanity weight. Although I am not on SP as often as I used to, I still check by and always try to see how everyone is doing. Without SP I couldn't have done it, I'll be honest. Whenever I felt like I couldn't continue, I always went to Confusedbird's page and saw her progress. And I knew, one day, I would be where she is. And I'm right around the corner! All it takes is for me to push just a little more. She really is an inspiration for me among many others.

I am now living in Miami. I moved on January 7th. I left my husband, but on good terms. I realized that I'm not the same person who I used to be, and as much as I love him, our goals were no longer in sync. I want to eventually learn to run past a 5k to a half marathon. I want to climb mountains, kayak on rivers, I want to see the world. I want to be out and about. My husband, while a great man, simply does not have similar aspirations, and I long to share those things with someone I love as well. We are still friends and we get along well enough, but I finally decided that I also needed to look ahead and see what was best for me too. I was not happy in WV. I'm happy here. So I hope I can make it, and he knows I will always be there for him if he needs me. I'm just different now. Maybe it's because of how young I am, who knows, but I needed a change--- I, have changed.

Aside from that everything is going well. I'm trying some new now to speed up my weightloss. Since being vegan, it is hard to count calories-- to be honest. You eat a lot of whole foods, nothing packaged, and weighing and measuring is a pain. So I decided it was best for me to go grain free, at least temporarily until I reach goal. I will still get a healthy dose of carbs from fruits, greens, and legumes, but at least I won't be trying overeat those yummy carbs I love.

I hope this works out. In July I have a trip coming up and I want to make sure I look sharp for it. :) I'll let you guys know how I feel!

Thanks you all, have a good one!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DISNEY4537 3/10/2014 10:31AM

    Awesome! Keep up the amazing work! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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