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Vacation - Learning how NOT to do this

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I think I am learning all the different ways this doesn't work. Or at least I hope I am learning - I'm certainly experiencing them.

Both food and exercise have fallen somewhat away on this vacation. Motivation to do something about it has also fallen by the wayside. That might be ok if it were a one week vacation, but 4+ could be an issue.

Some things learned:

1. Epiphany - well of course I wanted a buffer - a physical one. Picture this. Visiting my parents and they are yelling at each other arguing about where to put a desk, a difference of 4 inches. Except they are standing about 2 feet apart yelling with me in THE MIDDLE. I did later tell my father, calmly, that yelling through me wasn't ok.

2. Blogging helps. It's keeping track, of days, of the journey, of insight, sometimes just a habit. And really this is all about developing better habits.

3. When days are a little uncontrollable or outside normal patterns, exercise probably should be planned in. That's an oxymoron, but it's not working the other way.

4. Foods of my childhood have a whole allure. It's powerful. I give in. There should be a way that this isn't necessarily wrong but positive moderation or something. I don't have this one figured out at all.

5. Full is a foreign concept. Again, picture this. A group of us are out for dim sum. Fiona is ordering cause she knows what she's doing. We've eaten bits and pieces of wonderful things - all delicious. She's trying to figure out whether to order more. She asks if we are getting full, or want more. To me these are unrelated to each other. I don't know if I'm getting full, but do know that it tastes good and I would have eaten more. BUT 8 other people are indicating that they are approaching full and we've eaten similar amounts. I just don't know.

6. If it tastes good, I'll eat it. This is the second half of the point above. Regardless of how much I've eaten or how full I am (to some extent - once stuffed I feel full), if it tastes good, I'll eat it. And I'm an adventuresome eater so most of it tastes good.

7. Restarting an exercise streak is hard.

So, to sum up... food and exercise are both struggles right now. I'm really not sure that I have there wherewithal to put it all back in it's proper perspective just now either. At least not to where my ideal picture of managing all this is. At first I wrote "where I'd like it to be", but I deleted that realizing that I'm not sure about what I'd like. Plainly to some degree I like eating what I want just now.

I think the best I can do today is be aware of what is going on, forgive and accept myself (much harder than just about any exercise), and write again tomorrow. If I choose to keep coming back here and writing, and making my spark participation a priority, I will also make my health a priority. How's that for a goal - just don't walk away.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IOWAGAL1957 7/18/2010 9:11AM

    JUST KEEP PLUGGIN G AWAY, THAT'S ALL ANY OF US CAN DO!

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85- home - one day of "normal"

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Yesterday was deliberate extra airport walking as exercise. Did a fair bit of it though not like when I was playing tourist last week.

Today, ran some errands and just did "Barefoot Cardio" for the first time. I like it and even though it's not high intensity high impact cardio, I'm definitely feeling it and ran out of gas prior to the end of the 45 minutes. It's probably very good for where I am now in terms of relative fitness.

I found I was struggling a little with what would happen when I stepped on the scale here. Would I find that the altered exercise patterns and the slightly erratic eating resulted in significant weight gain? If so, would I take that message as failure?? Or would the opposite happen, the weight loss continue and I take that as license? Frankly neither one of those scenarios is where I want to be on this journey.

I really want weight to be one measure of feedback on this overall quest for health and wellness. I want to be doing the best I can in any given situation and know that best is definitely a sliding scale. Even in the same situations it can vary in different instances because situations that appear the same, may not be so at heart.

I think I'm mostly doing that. I indulged in some chocolate yesterday, but I decided if I was going to have some, it should be quality and it should be deliberate. Here's the difference. In the past I would have bought something like 3 king size packs of reeses (or maybe 3 different bars) tried to convince the retailer that I was buying for others as well and then snuck to three different places in the airport to eat them so nobody saw the fat woman (me!) stuffing her face. The act would have been filled with shame. This is one of the things I am determined is to be different. Eating is not inherently shameful. Even eating to excess is not inherently shameful. That way truly lies madness. This time I looked at something I couldn't purchase at home that looked attractive to me, and decided to walk a little more and then purchase one of it to eat in the while I waited to board. I enjoyed it and when it was gone really felt it was enough. In fact, it was more than enough, but I'm not at that place yet. Maybe someday.

Now I need to shower and repack. This trip is longer with more varied weather. I also bought a nifty little case to pack my exercise dvds into so they take up little space.

Tomorrow may be an airport walking day. I'm not sure. We need to be at the airport at 4 am and I don't know what I'll be up to. If not, maybe a beach walk in the evening when we get to Vancouver. I'm starting to feel faith that one way or another I will exercise in some way.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROYALETBONE 6/30/2010 1:06AM

    This sounds like you are really getting it all into your daily, every day, for the rest of your life, no big deal, it's life kind of mindset... that so ROCKS!
emoticon

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NEWNAC304 6/29/2010 2:28PM

    It sounds like you are on the right track. Keep up the good work!

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85- home - one day of "normal"

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Yesterday was deliberate extra airport walking as exercise. Did a fair bit of it though not like when I was playing tourist last week.

Today, ran some errands and just did "Barefoot Cardio" for the first time. I like it and even though it's not high intensity high impact cardio, I'm definitely feeling it and ran out of gas prior to the end of the 45 minutes. It's probably very good for where I am now in terms of relative fitness.

I found I was struggling a little with what would happen when I stepped on the scale here. Would I find that the altered exercise patterns and the slightly erratic eating resulted in significant weight gain? If so, would I take that message as failure?? Or would the opposite happen, the weight loss continue and I take that as license? Frankly neither one of those scenarios is where I want to be on this journey.

I really want weight to be one measure of feedback on this overall quest for health and wellness. I want to be doing the best I can in any given situation and know that best is definitely a sliding scale. Even in the same situations it can vary in different instances because situations that appear the same, may not be so at heart.

I think I'm mostly doing that. I indulged in some chocolate yesterday, but I decided if I was going to have some, it should be quality and it should be deliberate. Here's the difference. In the past I would have bought something like 3 king size packs of reeses (or maybe 3 different bars) tried to convince the retailer that I was buying for others as well and then snuck to three different places in the airport to eat them so nobody saw the fat woman (me!) stuffing her face. The act would have been filled with shame. This is one of the things I am determined is to be different. Eating is not inherently shameful. Even eating to excess is not inherently shameful. That way truly lies madness. This time I looked at something I couldn't purchase at home that looked attractive to me, and decided to walk a little more and then purchase one of it to eat in the while I waited to board. I enjoyed it and when it was gone really felt it was enough. In fact, it was more than enough, but I'm not at that place yet. Maybe someday.

Now I need to shower and repack. This trip is longer with more varied weather. I also bought a nifty little case to pack my exercise dvds into so they take up little space.

Tomorrow may be an airport walking day. I'm not sure. We need to be at the airport at 4 am and I don't know what I'll be up to. If not, maybe a beach walk in the evening when we get to Vancouver. I'm starting to feel faith that one way or another I will exercise in some way.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSGETTENBY42 6/29/2010 1:35PM

    emoticon

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83-but still a stretch

Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm continuing to be kind by giving myself a little leeway while here at the conference regarding my exercise streak. Last day was today - great time but I want a little more control over my own schedule again. Left the party early though so I could come to the hotel and do some exercise. Did a little walking and some stretching. Not much. I'm a little worried about the scale when I get home. Trying to adopt a que sera attitude.

Reality is, very little of the schedule this past week has been in my control in hardly any way. Plenary sessions ran a little long today and the only way I could have squeezed exercise into the day time was to skip meals. Also not a good choice. So the best I can. Tomorrow will be largely walking airports and then Tuesday "normal". Wednesday airports again. The vacation and I'll seize as much control as I reasonably can. it will certainly be more than I've experienced here.

A little latitude.... ok, but .... Need to get some control back.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROYALETBONE 6/28/2010 4:29PM

    The attitude looks great! Best way.

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IOWAGAL1957 6/28/2010 9:45AM

    i know you can and you will!

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83-but still a stretch

Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm continuing to be kind by giving myself a little leeway while here at the conference regarding my exercise streak. Last day was today - great time but I want a little more control over my own schedule again. Left the party early though so I could come to the hotel and do some exercise. Did a little walking and some stretching. Not much. I'm a little worried about the scale when I get home. Trying to adopt a que sera attitude.

Reality is, very little of the schedule this past week has been in my control in hardly any way. Plenary sessions ran a little long today and the only way I could have squeezed exercise into the day time was to skip meals. Also not a good choice. So the best I can. Tomorrow will be largely walking airports and then Tuesday "normal". Wednesday airports again. The vacation and I'll seize as much control as I reasonably can. it will certainly be more than I've experienced here.

A little latitude.... ok, but .... Need to get some control back.

  


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