Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I have been in a real rut. A 6 month rut. I have been losing and gain 6 lbs over and over and over again. Sometimes I hold onto it all for weeks. Sometime progress is achieved and then WHAM back to where I started. This has been a disappointing whirlwind of loss and gain.
The biggest problem is me. While I manage a somewhat regular work-out routine, I sometimes take weeks off. But, it is the workout routine that keeps me going. My food choices are poor, so poor I feel like I don't even know who I am. I use to crave salads, and veggie stir fries, soups etc. And now its mac and cheese, pizza and ice cream. What? I think part of it is because I am so down that all the hard work I put into getting into shape when I first started working out after pregnancy, wasn't paying off. I lost a lot of initial weight, but I remained 28 pounds heavier than my per-pregnancy weight.
I struggle finding time to exercise now that I am mom. Pre-Mom me, would ride bike 95% of the time and would ride it every where, tracking 15 miles a day in just commuting. Now, I am so busy trying to find time to get my 20 hours of work done, that I don't allow myself the couple extra minutes it takes to commute by bike. I think it is a mental, feel sorry for me, sort of excuse. The fit me, choses the active route even if I may lose 15 minutes of work time. My work time will be more productive with more exercise and healthy eating habits.
I don't want to complain, I just want to be honest with myself and hold myself accountable.
I just don't want to give up all together, I want to recapture my SPARK and try harder everyday. Because when I am fit I feel great, I look great. I fit into my clothes. I crave water and healthier foods. I have more energy, which would be so valuable for Hollis. When I am fit, I am more focused, driven and emotionally grounded. I sleep better. I wake better. I live a fuller life.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
I have been working on my parenting style these days. Now with a 6 month child and 5 year old step son in my life, I find I need to be on my toes a bit more. One step a head of the game, so they say. I have found myself, too many times, arguing with a five year old and by the time my inner voice says "what are you doing?" its too late... someone is upset and no one knows why. But every time I recall the "bad parenting events" it is always due to one of two things either consistency or discipline and I think I could use a little bit more of both of those in parenting myself through my next spark adventure.
I have been doing good. I have been rather consistent about one thing. Group Power at my gym, I am there every Tuesday and Thursday rain or shine. When I am feeling awesome I go on Sunday too. I feel good if I maintain my routine. A couple of weeks ago, I tried really hard to introduce my partner to Group Power so we changed the schedule and my routine fell apart and I felt like crapola. But I am dedicated again and I know that it is better to keep this my own journey, if nothing else I am disciplined enough to maintain consistent with my attendance to Group Power.
Group Power is a great 1 hour weight lifting class, by the way and my gym has free childcare. No excuses.
I also introduced a weekly walk to the library. It is only a two mile walk with the kiddo on the back, but I managed to get there last week in a little over a half and hour and that felt really good. I am motivated to go for the library's infant story time, Hollis just loves looking at all the babies and listening to the to stories and songs. I would walk through a tornado to get him there, his smile is worth it.
On Sundays, I walk with my best friend Jo. She picks me up and we find some beautiful trail and hike around for a couple of hours. I don't know how long we hike or how far we travel exactly but it is a good run and I am very hungry afterwards.
I also solely commute by bike and I usually transport Hollis behind me. No cars, no more. The car died in January and we said... good ridden.
And with all that I still haven't lost a pound, maybe a couple. But it has been 6 months, I have been active, I eat well (really well, like 3300 calories well), I am just surprised there hasn't been more progress in returning to a smaller body. I guess I am surprised that 3300 calories is maintaining my body. I thought I could lose a little without giving up some of those prized calories.
That is where the discipline and consistency will help out.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
I had the worse fatigue in my first trimester, but now I feel great. I keep thinking it must be because of all the blood I am making. But, I don't know or really understand the science behind all of it. I remember last year this time, I was just igniting my *SPARK* and now a year later I feel like I am doing it again. It is neat to reflect on the last year, where I found the strength to take charge of my health when I thought there was no strength. It wasn't always easy either, sometimes it was painful, or tiring. Oh, getting use to being sore! Now I look forward to it. It is reminder that I am working this body hard like it was meant to. The best part is this will all help me greatly during my labor, as well as post-labor recovery. I look forward to bring a new life into the world and sharing my *SPARK* with it.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Yes! Yesterday I was planning on following my usual routine when I was reminded that the prenatal yoga series started just 1 hour after Zumba (usual routine.) I was on the fence when my massage therapist called and informed me that she could get me in earlier than I had originally planned. Yes!
It would only work out if I skipped Zumba, and then road my bike over to prenatal yoga. After my massage (the best massage I have ever gotten) I pulled a word out a little basket from my massage therapist table. Two words came out and fell on the table "mediation and transformation." That was enough for me to know that I made the right decision.
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