Friday, March 09, 2012
So I have awesome news. But first of all, a little update on my journey...
I've been cleaning up my eating, hitting the gym harder, and overall just refocusing on my weight loss after a pretty big realization two weeks ago. I've been stuck at 275 lbs since the beginning of December. Fifty pounds lost and I got stuck. I've still been exercising consistenty, getting a minimum of 1,000 minutes each month. I've also been mindful of what I'm eating and my eating in general has been betterl than my previous unhealthy ways, but still it has not been great - too many sweets, too many fatty foods. And why? Why have I been killing myself in the gym just to sabotage my efforts outside of the gym?
I think I have an answer now. I had a hard time imagining myself any smaller than I am now. I couldn't visualize my future success. I want so bad to get down to size 18 jeans (and then some) but at the same time, I can't imagine myself in size 18s. I haven't been a size 18 since probably 2004 and I couldn't believe that I'd be there again. I didn't believe that it was possible for me to be hot or skinny or any of the other "goals" I've got in my head. I'd be over the moon if I could lose another 50 pounds but part of me thought that was impossible as well. I mean, heck, I've lost 50 already... but lose 100 pounds total? That's unthinkable.
Well that's bull. I CAN do this. And I will. ...I just need to let myself!
So I've been sticking to my calorie range (mostly), I've been making healthier choices. I sprained my ankle two weeks ago - a very valid reason to NOT workout right? WRONG. I worked out to the best of my ability with my screwed up ankle. Something I would have NEVER done before. And I'm quite proud of myself for that.
I've lost seven pounds since recommitting two weeks ago. I'm down 57 pounds now - so close to that 60 lbs trophy that I can taste it. I have a jar of marbles - 50 marbles to be exact, representing the 50 pounds I'd still like to lose. Seven of those marbles are moving their happy little butts into the "pounds lost" jar. But that's not THE News.
The big news is this... I now weigh less than my husband! Two pounds less. Ha. BUT STILL.
I looked at the scale yesterday morning and saw 268 and thought "oh hellz yes". The first thing I did was text Hubby. "How much do you weigh now?" He's at 270. My head spun. I think I may have jumped and twirled.
This had been another goal of mine. When we started dating seven years ago, I did weigh less than him. Over the years, we both gained and I caught up with him. We had both been about the same weight for awhile until he started losing weight. When I started losing 6-12 months after he had, I knew I wanted to weight less than him again someday. I just hope it doesn't stop at a two pound difference. I've got to keep pushing forward!
Here's a picture of us from January:
Also, I found a picture of myself from two years ago and I know that my face was a lot bigger, but MY GOSH, I couldn't believe this picture when I saw it. I used to avoid looking in the mirror because I didn't like how round my face had gotten.
May 2010 - I'm on the right
And this is me this morning. :)
Thanks for reading, have a good day, and remember...
Saturday, February 25, 2012
I'm so sick of my stupid ankle and not being able to move! Waaaah!
On the up-side, it doesn't hurt to put weight on it. But it does generally ache from use. I'm resting it as much as I can, but I'm at work and have to actually does SOME WORK while at work! LOL. Luckily, I'm working the front desk and updating paperwork today, so not too much walking is involved.
My Hubby laughed his head off last night when I told him I couldn't keep up with my residents. I work with cute old people at a retirement home. It's pretty funny to imagine a 25 year old hobbling to keep up with a spry 90 year old, let alone some little hunched over cutie with a walker. Hubby wanted me to line them up in the hallway today and try to race them.
It's extremely neccesary right now, in fact. Aunt Flo stopped my by house yesterday for a lovely visit, so I'm pretty emotional right now. I broke down into tears last night because I was so frustrated with my physical mobility and just darn pissed that I did something so dumb. Of course, crying made Hubby laugh even harder at my ridiculousness. He's not mean, I promise... But he kind of is. LoL.
I'm trying not to cry again today but I'm worrying about my plans for the afternoon and it's upsetting me. And normally I wouldn't cry but that darn Aunt Flo gets me Every Time. I get off work at 3:00 because I have a conference to attend since I'm a volunteer staff member for my (co-ed) fraternity. When I was asked to work today, I had to cancel my plans to help with the conference this morning, but I definitely have to go this afternoon to speak. It's on campus and I'm so frightened about where I have to park that I've roped Hubby into driving me. Furthermore, I was supposed to go to this restaurant/bar for a fellowship event that I organized following the conference. But I'm so worked up about the parking and the stairs and over-working my foot in general that I've decided not to go. So I feel better about the whole thing other than feeling guilty for basically skipping out on the entire day's events. But I think I'll feel better at home on the couch with Hubby and a movie than at a bar with stupid stairs.
So to end on another funny note... everyone is so concerned about my ankle!! Moreso than I am so it's pretty hilarious. Friends... coworkers... residents... all concerned about my well being. It's nice, it really it. Slightly annoying too. Haha. My limp really looks worse than it is, so everyone's concerned. One coworker told me to sit down earlier because she'd get whatever I needed. I told her I had to pee. "Oh.. well... I guess you're on your own there!" LOL!
One resident was so worried about me walking around that he told me he though my boss needed to get me an electric scooter like some of the residents have. He came back to the desk a couple hours later saying that he's had time to "think about the situation" and he'd like to pay for me to rent a scooter.
It was really HARD not to laugh at him.
Too cute. I insisted that I'd be fine without a scooter. He doesn't believe me.
Have a good day, friends. I'm sure trying to.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I went five days without working out. GASP. I've been hitting it hard the last two days to make up for it. I kicked butt at the beginning of the month with my fitness minutes and then lost my mojo. So, I found myself sitting at 600 fitness minutes for the month and not wanting to ruin my 1,000 minutes/month goal.
Today I hit the gym doing walking/running intervals on the treadmill and then headed across town for my free fitness class. Tonight we were doing a cardio video from the Insanity series. Five minutes into the video, I rolled my ankle during a jump, heard the loudest POP of my life, and ended up on the floor. After about five minutes of searing pain, I felt better and was able to finish the workout. (Thanks in part to the incredibly shock-absorbent floor at the Kung Fu studio.) I just knew I had to finish the workout. I would have felt like such a failure had I quit and I knew I had it in me to push myself. I honestly don't think I did any further damage by exercising on it, but the pain has definitely caught up with me now. I'm on the couch with ice and pain killers and we'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm determined to get in my fitness minutes, even it if means more weight lifting and riding the recumbent bike to keep my weight off my ankle.
In other news, I'm working hard to clean up my eating as well. I've become kind of lax in what I put in my mouth over the past couple months. I've still been better than I was before I started this journey, but definitely not good enough. In a week or two after I get back into the swing of things, I'm going to reevaluate my calorie range because I have a feeling I need to drop it some again. I've also given up desserts for Lent. Between the cookies and sweets that are always floating around at work, it has really led to some self-sabotage in my weight loss department. I am allowing myself to have some chocolate now and again in small quantities.
I've also taken this idea from pinterest:
This is not my project. This picture was taken from pinterest. I'm too lazy to take a picture of mine at the moment. (Not too mention too much of a wuss to carry me and my ankle upstairs to take said picture.) I'm starting my jar from where I am now. In other words, I don't have 50 marbles in my pounds lost jar. I'm looking at this as a clean slate. I'd be happy with losing another 25 pounds, but ultimately want to be down another 50, so I've put 50 marbles in my jar. Each 10 are a different color which gives it a nice visual. I've put my jar on the windowsill above my kitchen sink where I see it multiple times a day but especially every morning. And every morning I think "MAN, I want to move a marble so bad!!" I've also set my pill organizer next to my jar, so every morning when I look at the marbles, I'm also reminded to take my pills. I have my multivitamins and fiber pills in there. Unfortunately, I'm also taking ibuprofen daily to try and manage my jaw pain from my TMJ.
TMJ side note - I saw a new dentist on Valentines Day and I think he is ABSOLUTELY fantastic. I was so unhappy with my old dentist for a multitude of reason, but I'm in love with the new guy and his entire staff. The day I called to set up an appointment was the worst my jaw pain has ever been - it hurt to smile. The scheduler was on the phone with me for 20 minutes, telling me what to do to manage my pain until they could get me in for an appointment and I hadn't paid them a dime yet! I was so overwhelmed with gratitude. Part of my pain is from clenching my jaw- usually when I sleep. I was doing it when I was awake too until I realized that I was doing it and I've been better since. The other half of my problem is that my jaw goes to the left when I open my mouth, so my joints are working extra hard. They're not sure which problem caused the other, but I'm getting a mouth guard on Tuesday to help with the jaw clenching and I'm ridiculously excited to get it.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME. I imagined this to be a short blog. So, WHAT ABOUT YOU? What's going on in your life right now? What are you currently working on? And what is your current motivation tactic?
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
I'm working out harder than I've ever worked before. I'm doing exercises that I know I wouldn't have been able to do last year. SWEATING buckets more than I've ever done before. Some of my favorite DVDs would have made me melt into a puddle and cry last year. (I did a P90X workout for Christsakes!)I realize that and it makes me very very happy. I feel fit. I have more endurance and more strength that my roommate who takes cardio classes like a crazy person. We do the same workout and she's sore the next day where I'm not, etc. I feel good.
But! BUT! The scale isn't freaking budging. And I know... I KNOW... it'll happen. And I know, I KNOW - the numbers aren't as important as the above paragraph. I know, I KNOW... non-scale victories. I've heard it all. I've said it all. But it's frustrating, ya know? We want to see our work pay off. And we do see it. WE DO. Just not always in all the ways we want. Or not as fast as we want.
I'm feeling arm muscles, leg muscles, pec muscles. And GAWD, my stomach is firming up. Halle-freaking-luja. I'm getting fitter, which I'm loving every minute of. But damnit, I want to be smaller too! LoL. I know, I KNOW, it'll happen. BE PATIENT.
(I think I should have called this blog "I know I KNOW" HAHA)
So... here's the point of this blog. (Yes, there was more of a point than just to whine!!!)
A friend posted it on Facebook not a moment too soon.
(Incase it's too small for you to read, it says: "First comes the dream, then comes the struggle, then there is victory! The problem is, most people give up during the struggle... Never knowing how close they were to victory!! They only way you'll fail is if you Quit! Never! Never! Never Quit!"
Yeah, I get the message. Thank you, Universe. And no, I won't quit. But DARNIT, that scale could MOVE!
So! Here I am. Waiting for my diamonds.
And... This is really funny: "At the gym: Who is looking at whom". Check it out.
I work at a retirement home, so I can confirm that. In the end, we WILL all have saggy boobs. HAHAHA! In other words, let's not take ourselves too seriously. MmmmK?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I am going to be a success story. I am going to reach my goals. I am
going to transform myself into the most beautiful me I can be, on the
inside & outside.
So here's the good stuff. The stuff we've all been waiting for.
First, my measurements:
Jan 20, 2011 ........... Jan 25, 2012
Height: 5'10" ........... Height: 5'10"
Weight: 325 ........... Weight: 275
BMI: 46 ........... BMI: 39
Waist: 51" ........... Waist: 42
Jean Size: 26 ........... Jean Size: 22/20
And some pictures:
It's hard to find full body pictures of myself. Somehow they all got deleted. Hmmm. Here I am in 2009 with cake, of course. I can't believe how much rounder my face was.
My highest weight - summer 2010
August 2011 (with my mom) - I was seven months into my journey and feeling great, but looking back at the picture, I cringe at that tummy.
Side by side from last month, when I officially hit 50 pounds lost.
Bye bye, Belly!
And this week at 275:
If I can do this, you can too.
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