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My Awesome News! Plus: update & pictures

Friday, March 09, 2012

So I have awesome news. But first of all, a little update on my journey...

I've been cleaning up my eating, hitting the gym harder, and overall just refocusing on my weight loss after a pretty big realization two weeks ago. I've been stuck at 275 lbs since the beginning of December. Fifty pounds lost and I got stuck. I've still been exercising consistenty, getting a minimum of 1,000 minutes each month. I've also been mindful of what I'm eating and my eating in general has been betterl than my previous unhealthy ways, but still it has not been great - too many sweets, too many fatty foods. And why? Why have I been killing myself in the gym just to sabotage my efforts outside of the gym?

I think I have an answer now. I had a hard time imagining myself any smaller than I am now. I couldn't visualize my future success. I want so bad to get down to size 18 jeans (and then some) but at the same time, I can't imagine myself in size 18s. I haven't been a size 18 since probably 2004 and I couldn't believe that I'd be there again. I didn't believe that it was possible for me to be hot or skinny or any of the other "goals" I've got in my head. I'd be over the moon if I could lose another 50 pounds but part of me thought that was impossible as well. I mean, heck, I've lost 50 already... but lose 100 pounds total? That's unthinkable.

Well that's bull. I CAN do this. And I will. ...I just need to let myself!

So I've been sticking to my calorie range (mostly), I've been making healthier choices. I sprained my ankle two weeks ago - a very valid reason to NOT workout right? WRONG. I worked out to the best of my ability with my screwed up ankle. Something I would have NEVER done before. And I'm quite proud of myself for that.

I've lost seven pounds since recommitting two weeks ago. I'm down 57 pounds now - so close to that 60 lbs trophy that I can taste it. I have a jar of marbles - 50 marbles to be exact, representing the 50 pounds I'd still like to lose. Seven of those marbles are moving their happy little butts into the "pounds lost" jar. But that's not THE News.

The big news is this... I now weigh less than my husband! Two pounds less. Ha. BUT STILL.

I looked at the scale yesterday morning and saw 268 and thought "oh hellz yes". The first thing I did was text Hubby. "How much do you weigh now?" He's at 270. My head spun. I think I may have jumped and twirled.

This had been another goal of mine. When we started dating seven years ago, I did weigh less than him. Over the years, we both gained and I caught up with him. We had both been about the same weight for awhile until he started losing weight. When I started losing 6-12 months after he had, I knew I wanted to weight less than him again someday. I just hope it doesn't stop at a two pound difference. I've got to keep pushing forward!

Here's a picture of us from January:

Also, I found a picture of myself from two years ago and I know that my face was a lot bigger, but MY GOSH, I couldn't believe this picture when I saw it. I used to avoid looking in the mirror because I didn't like how round my face had gotten.

May 2010 - I'm on the right

And this is me this morning. :)

Thanks for reading, have a good day, and remember...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    You are doing so awesome! I know the feeling of wanting to weigh less than your husband. When I started I weighed 20 pounds more than him, and now I weigh about 50 pounds less than him. It's a great feeling. I feel so much more feminine and tiny next to him, lol... And yes, I get you on the "scared of getting smaller" thing. I haven't been a size 18 since I was in high school, and now I'm here and I feel so weird. Don't be scared! You are looking so good, btw...your face looks so thin....and who would have ever thought you'd allow a picture of yourself at that angle! LOL that was a no-no before, I'm sure! It was for me!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/10/2012 4:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonwhat did your husband say when you told him you now weighed less than him?hope he was happy and not peeved.take care and keep up the good work.know you can do this love emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EMELEE82 3/10/2012 12:10AM

    AWESOME! congrats on kicking some major booty! 7 lbs in TWO WEEKS. You are a WARRIOR!


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123ELAINE456 3/9/2012 10:20PM

  Great Job!!! You can do it. Enjoyed the blog very much. This is the WAY TO GO !!! God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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BEVERLY1983 3/9/2012 6:28PM

    Great Job. Keep it up. You look so great. I don't have a husband but I understand wanting to be smaller then someone else you use to be smaller then. I don't want to be the FAT sister anymore.

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VEROISME 3/9/2012 1:56PM


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CLPURNELL 3/9/2012 1:00PM

    Awesome Job Courtney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!! Ha we are at the same weight weighed in at 268 myself today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super awesome those marbles will keep moving. Sometimes we have to get over our own selves mentally!! Awesome Job!!!!!!!!!!!


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EMILYROSEBUD 3/9/2012 12:06PM

    You are doing so great! Sometimes it takes a little "recommitting" to get yourself back on track. Even though you may not be able to visualize your goals, I can visualize you reaching every last one of them and I wish you the best on your journey! You got this girl! Keep up the great work!


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JOYINKY 3/9/2012 11:44AM

    Courtney, I never dreamed I 'd be the size I am today! Goal? Heck no, it wasn't even a thought! Like you, I would have been happy to get to a size 18, out of the pluses that don't really "fit" anyone! Never in my life thought I'd be in single digit sizes, yet, here I am. This last time my journey began with focusing on health instead of weight and trusting that the process would bring me to whatever weight I should be. It has. You absolutely can do this! You've done it once, you can do it again! Try to find a way you can live with forever; a lifestyle change. Now, where have I heard that before?? Congratulations on losing that first 50, KEEPING IT OFF! Hugs.

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SHFELKEY 3/9/2012 10:47AM

    Congrats on ALL your progress so far! Keep up the GREAT work!


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MOSTMOM1 3/9/2012 10:31AM

    WOOHOO!! That's GREAT news! I love that last pic of you; it's gorgeous. Finally, a situation where it's good to lose your marbles.

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    great job! you are doing wonderful and what an inspiration you are!

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Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm so sick of my stupid ankle and not being able to move! Waaaah!

On the up-side, it doesn't hurt to put weight on it. But it does generally ache from use. I'm resting it as much as I can, but I'm at work and have to actually does SOME WORK while at work! LOL. Luckily, I'm working the front desk and updating paperwork today, so not too much walking is involved.

My Hubby laughed his head off last night when I told him I couldn't keep up with my residents. I work with cute old people at a retirement home. It's pretty funny to imagine a 25 year old hobbling to keep up with a spry 90 year old, let alone some little hunched over cutie with a walker. Hubby wanted me to line them up in the hallway today and try to race them.

Humor helps.

It's extremely neccesary right now, in fact. Aunt Flo stopped my by house yesterday for a lovely visit, so I'm pretty emotional right now. I broke down into tears last night because I was so frustrated with my physical mobility and just darn pissed that I did something so dumb. Of course, crying made Hubby laugh even harder at my ridiculousness. He's not mean, I promise... But he kind of is. LoL.

I'm trying not to cry again today but I'm worrying about my plans for the afternoon and it's upsetting me. And normally I wouldn't cry but that darn Aunt Flo gets me Every Time. I get off work at 3:00 because I have a conference to attend since I'm a volunteer staff member for my (co-ed) fraternity. When I was asked to work today, I had to cancel my plans to help with the conference this morning, but I definitely have to go this afternoon to speak. It's on campus and I'm so frightened about where I have to park that I've roped Hubby into driving me. Furthermore, I was supposed to go to this restaurant/bar for a fellowship event that I organized following the conference. But I'm so worked up about the parking and the stairs and over-working my foot in general that I've decided not to go. So I feel better about the whole thing other than feeling guilty for basically skipping out on the entire day's events. But I think I'll feel better at home on the couch with Hubby and a movie than at a bar with stupid stairs.

So to end on another funny note... everyone is so concerned about my ankle!! Moreso than I am so it's pretty hilarious. Friends... coworkers... residents... all concerned about my well being. It's nice, it really it. Slightly annoying too. Haha. My limp really looks worse than it is, so everyone's concerned. One coworker told me to sit down earlier because she'd get whatever I needed. I told her I had to pee. "Oh.. well... I guess you're on your own there!" LOL!

One resident was so worried about me walking around that he told me he though my boss needed to get me an electric scooter like some of the residents have. He came back to the desk a couple hours later saying that he's had time to "think about the situation" and he'd like to pay for me to rent a scooter.

It was really HARD not to laugh at him.

Too cute. I insisted that I'd be fine without a scooter. He doesn't believe me.

Have a good day, friends. I'm sure trying to.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 3/6/2012 12:31PM

    omg- that is Hysterical !!!

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MOSTMOM1 3/5/2012 6:30PM

    I think you should let the dude rent you a scooter. You could pimp it out. Hope that ankle is doing better by now!

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    It's nice to have people that care, though...even if they do fuss over you! Take care of yourself and rest that ankle as much as possible.

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CLPURNELL 2/28/2012 4:37PM

    It is awesome every one is so concerned I hope you get better quickly I know it can be hard dealing with an injury!

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123ELAINE456 2/25/2012 11:29PM

  Sounds like your are doing the best you can The little Guy wanting to rent a scooter for you is really very cute. God Bless Him. If you foot does not get better within a reasonble amount of time have xrays taken becauce you could have a hairline fracture that needs medical attention. Take it easy and get better soon. God Bless Everyone and hHave a Wonderful Week. Things will get better. Just hang in there.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 2/25/2012 4:27PM

    emoticoncouldnīt find an emotion for a scooter but how about an electric go cart?lol.your husband sounds a bit like mind,morbid sense of humour,but heart in the right place.try to take it easy as much as you can and no need to feel guilty re the bar and did the job by organizing the do in the first place.take care and keeo smiling. emoticon

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JOYINKY 2/25/2012 3:50PM

    Sounds like you are the making the best of an uncomfortable situation. That's about all you can do. You're covering your responsibilities and looking out for yourself too. Just be sure that foot doesn't need medical attention! Be well. Hugs.

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Ramblings: The Good and The Bad

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I went five days without working out. GASP. I've been hitting it hard the last two days to make up for it. I kicked butt at the beginning of the month with my fitness minutes and then lost my mojo. So, I found myself sitting at 600 fitness minutes for the month and not wanting to ruin my 1,000 minutes/month goal.

Today I hit the gym doing walking/running intervals on the treadmill and then headed across town for my free fitness class. Tonight we were doing a cardio video from the Insanity series. Five minutes into the video, I rolled my ankle during a jump, heard the loudest POP of my life, and ended up on the floor. After about five minutes of searing pain, I felt better and was able to finish the workout. (Thanks in part to the incredibly shock-absorbent floor at the Kung Fu studio.) I just knew I had to finish the workout. I would have felt like such a failure had I quit and I knew I had it in me to push myself. I honestly don't think I did any further damage by exercising on it, but the pain has definitely caught up with me now. I'm on the couch with ice and pain killers and we'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm determined to get in my fitness minutes, even it if means more weight lifting and riding the recumbent bike to keep my weight off my ankle.

In other news, I'm working hard to clean up my eating as well. I've become kind of lax in what I put in my mouth over the past couple months. I've still been better than I was before I started this journey, but definitely not good enough. In a week or two after I get back into the swing of things, I'm going to reevaluate my calorie range because I have a feeling I need to drop it some again. I've also given up desserts for Lent. Between the cookies and sweets that are always floating around at work, it has really led to some self-sabotage in my weight loss department. I am allowing myself to have some chocolate now and again in small quantities.

I've also taken this idea from pinterest:

This is not my project. This picture was taken from pinterest. I'm too lazy to take a picture of mine at the moment. (Not too mention too much of a wuss to carry me and my ankle upstairs to take said picture.) I'm starting my jar from where I am now. In other words, I don't have 50 marbles in my pounds lost jar. I'm looking at this as a clean slate. I'd be happy with losing another 25 pounds, but ultimately want to be down another 50, so I've put 50 marbles in my jar. Each 10 are a different color which gives it a nice visual. I've put my jar on the windowsill above my kitchen sink where I see it multiple times a day but especially every morning. And every morning I think "MAN, I want to move a marble so bad!!" I've also set my pill organizer next to my jar, so every morning when I look at the marbles, I'm also reminded to take my pills. I have my multivitamins and fiber pills in there. Unfortunately, I'm also taking ibuprofen daily to try and manage my jaw pain from my TMJ.

TMJ side note - I saw a new dentist on Valentines Day and I think he is ABSOLUTELY fantastic. I was so unhappy with my old dentist for a multitude of reason, but I'm in love with the new guy and his entire staff. The day I called to set up an appointment was the worst my jaw pain has ever been - it hurt to smile. The scheduler was on the phone with me for 20 minutes, telling me what to do to manage my pain until they could get me in for an appointment and I hadn't paid them a dime yet! I was so overwhelmed with gratitude. Part of my pain is from clenching my jaw- usually when I sleep. I was doing it when I was awake too until I realized that I was doing it and I've been better since. The other half of my problem is that my jaw goes to the left when I open my mouth, so my joints are working extra hard. They're not sure which problem caused the other, but I'm getting a mouth guard on Tuesday to help with the jaw clenching and I'm ridiculously excited to get it.

ENOUGH ABOUT ME. I imagined this to be a short blog. So, WHAT ABOUT YOU? What's going on in your life right now? What are you currently working on? And what is your current motivation tactic?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMELEE82 3/8/2012 8:25PM

    YAYAYAYAYAYAY! i heart that jar idea. I may stealz it. *snicker*

I hope your ankle is better! holy cow! insanity is TOUGH! way to go!!

I also have jaw clenching pain! boooo! but like you I am super excited to get a retainer like mouth guard.. woot for unsexy good things. ;)

Have a great day

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1DERLAND14 2/27/2012 5:01PM

    I hope your ankle is feeling better. I know how it is to have a great momentum going and then all of a sudden ...mojo GONE. Keep at it! I know you'll kick butt!

LOOOVE the marble idea & pinterest!!! so creative. :)

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EVER-HOPEFUL 2/25/2012 8:05AM

    you didnīt say when the dentist appointment is?hope you donīt have to wait too the ideas with the marbles i might just use it using butter beans lol.havenīt that many merbles anyway and if i did the kids would nick them to play.the beauty of having three boys,lol.what is happening by me.found out thursday that they donīt need to operate on the tumor in the brain(big,big relieve)still have to go to hospital for 6 months check up on the two ops for the anurysmas.this last week reached ONE_DER_LAND AGAIN,lol.plan to stay in it longer this time than last time the brain op sort of put me back a bit with stress eating.but starting back down again.132lbs down only 48lbs to go so i am slowly winning this race.we can both do this dispite hic ups. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLPURNELL 2/24/2012 5:17PM

    The jar idea is AWESOME!!! Sony about your ankle.. I hope it heals well soon! Glad you found a dentist you like. You did awesome still finishing your workout!!! I just hope you are able to get the rest it needs to heal all the way! My current motivational idea was to exercise at least 20 minutes everyday during lent. So far so good :)

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TANRAZZ 2/24/2012 10:08AM

    I like the marbles idea! I should rig up something like that. Take care of that ankle--stay strong and stay positive!

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FITMYPANTSO9 2/24/2012 10:02AM

    I hope your ankle get better soon! Good for you to still getting a form of exercise in! I really like the marble idea and will be doing one for myself now! Have a good day!

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JOYINKY 2/24/2012 9:01AM

    My motivator is HEALTH my tactic is trying to make healthy choices as I move through my day food wise and targeting fitness minute goals. It has gradually led to a lifestyle change. There is no ON/OFF to my "program". Nothing is forbidden, everything is evaluated. No "mindless" eating. When working I just made my own rule not to start eating at work; other than my lunch. Rarely was the choice there a healthy one. If I needed something for breaktime; I took something.
I've used all kinds of "tools" over the years and have never seen your marble idea; I really love it! Wouldn't even have to be marbles; I envision a rose bowl with glass decorator pebbles. You are doing great, you set goals and have a plan. Take care of that ankle! Maybe peek in on the "chair exercise" group; I imagine they have a lot to share. Be well. Hugs.

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MAGGIE101857 2/24/2012 6:50AM

    Love the jar idea! Hope the ankle is feeling better and that you didn't do any serious damage to it! Rest up!!

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123ELAINE456 2/24/2012 3:53AM

  The jar is a good motivator with differant colors in marbles So to hear about your ankle. Hope you are feeling much better by now. Things will inprove and you will be able to get back on track. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Elaine

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    What a good idea and visual motivator the marble jar is! emoticon Hope your ankle is doing better.

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BEVERLY1983 2/24/2012 12:16AM

    When your feeling better (hopefully soon) you should post a picture of yours. I hope you do feel better. I'm working on jogging a mile straight, I do walk/jog intervals now 2 mins.

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LUNARWINDS 2/23/2012 11:12PM

    I like that marble idea too. Thank you for providing a photo of it. I'm glad there are some creative thinkers out there- visuals like this are great motivators.

Sorry about your ankle and do hope it doesn't interfere with your activities too much.


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Don't Give Up

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

I'm working out harder than I've ever worked before. I'm doing exercises that I know I wouldn't have been able to do last year. SWEATING buckets more than I've ever done before. Some of my favorite DVDs would have made me melt into a puddle and cry last year. (I did a P90X workout for Christsakes!)I realize that and it makes me very very happy. I feel fit. I have more endurance and more strength that my roommate who takes cardio classes like a crazy person. We do the same workout and she's sore the next day where I'm not, etc. I feel good.

But! BUT! The scale isn't freaking budging. And I know... I KNOW... it'll happen. And I know, I KNOW - the numbers aren't as important as the above paragraph. I know, I KNOW... non-scale victories. I've heard it all. I've said it all. But it's frustrating, ya know? We want to see our work pay off. And we do see it. WE DO. Just not always in all the ways we want. Or not as fast as we want.

I'm feeling arm muscles, leg muscles, pec muscles. And GAWD, my stomach is firming up. Halle-freaking-luja. I'm getting fitter, which I'm loving every minute of. But damnit, I want to be smaller too! LoL. I know, I KNOW, it'll happen. BE PATIENT.

(I think I should have called this blog "I know I KNOW" HAHA)

So... here's the point of this blog. (Yes, there was more of a point than just to whine!!!)

This picture....

A friend posted it on Facebook not a moment too soon.

(Incase it's too small for you to read, it says: "First comes the dream, then comes the struggle, then there is victory! The problem is, most people give up during the struggle... Never knowing how close they were to victory!! They only way you'll fail is if you Quit! Never! Never! Never Quit!"


Yeah, I get the message. Thank you, Universe. And no, I won't quit. But DARNIT, that scale could MOVE!

So! Here I am. Waiting for my diamonds.

And... This is really funny: "At the gym: Who is looking at whom". Check it out.

I work at a retirement home, so I can confirm that. In the end, we WILL all have saggy boobs. HAHAHA! In other words, let's not take ourselves too seriously. MmmmK?

Love y'all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Girl, I UNDERSTAND! You're probably just building a bunch of muscle since you're going hardcore at the gym. I think that was happening to me too, because I see a lot of muscle definition I didn't see a few months ago. But...I KNOW it's annoying that you can't see the results on the scale. Yep - you're right, just don't give up and you it will come off.

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1DERLAND14 2/9/2012 3:32PM

    First of all, you look fabulous! :)

I can definitely relate to how you feel!! I've been pushing harder and hard lately and I can't get into the 230's. My weight keeps fluctuating between 241-245 GRRR. I am trying to be patient, but it is hard when you put in the work. Know that you are not alone in this battle. I have been there before...around 280...I was stuck there for a little while.

i noticed the more I stress about it the more my body holds on to the weight.

One weekend I went and had a nice little mini-vacation where I didn't think about weight loss. Actually had more calories (steak/baked potato/salad) ...and I came back and had lost 5lbs! I think the little things like rest and not stressing impact us more than we realize.

Keep fighting! I know you'll be to your next goal in no time!

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123ELAINE456 2/9/2012 12:06AM

  Awesome!!! I love your blog. You are doing great. We do what we can. Keep doing what you are doing and you will meet your goals. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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CLPURNELL 2/8/2012 6:59PM

    The cartoon was hilarious!!! Bottom line is be secure with YOU!!!! You are 1000% correct. Just don't quit. I get the frustration though I have been in the 270's since December and want to get out BAD!!! the scale will move. as long as you keep moving!!!!

emoticon BLOG!!!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 2/8/2012 4:15PM

    love it especially the one with the are no quitter anyway so i donīt know what you are talking about love.keep on keeping on and you get there in the can do this. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 2/8/2012 8:04AM

    You feel good, look great and definitely ARE smaller! Do you measure as well as weigh? Clothes fitting differently?
I've been on this journey for a lifetime and the scale NEVER made me feel good. Exercising does! You are on the right track, think health and fitness; the scale will take care of itself. That said, I got to goal be eating at maintenance, 1500-2000 calories a day. If you are eating more than that it's hard to lose; but you can still be fit. You are absolutely right, the only way you fail is if you quit! I know you won't do that!
Loved the Oatmeal cartoon, so true!

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    ha! Cute comic emoticon

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ONE YEAR Part 3 - The Good Stuff

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I am going to be a success story. I am going to reach my goals. I am
going to transform myself into the most beautiful me I can be, on the
inside & outside.

So here's the good stuff. The stuff we've all been waiting for.

First, my measurements:

Jan 20, 2011 ........... Jan 25, 2012
Height: 5'10" ........... Height: 5'10"
Weight: 325 ........... Weight: 275
BMI: 46 ........... BMI: 39
Waist: 51" ........... Waist: 42”
Jean Size: 26 ........... Jean Size: 22/20

And some pictures:

It's hard to find full body pictures of myself. Somehow they all got deleted. Hmmm. Here I am in 2009 with cake, of course. I can't believe how much rounder my face was.

My highest weight - summer 2010

August 2011 (with my mom) - I was seven months into my journey and feeling great, but looking back at the picture, I cringe at that tummy.

Side by side from last month, when I officially hit 50 pounds lost.

Bye bye, Belly!

And this week at 275:

If I can do this, you can too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWCHOC 1/28/2012 9:54AM

    bravo! you are doing this so well, I hope the family is proud too.
here's to the next 50lbs, and more self discovery
best wishes, Sandra

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/28/2012 9:38AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KARAMAC2012 1/28/2012 9:18AM

    Great before and afters! You've done brilliantly, and inspire me to do the same - must hunt out some photos or have some taken now. emoticon

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BECKS79 1/27/2012 7:23AM

    Keep up the awesome work and thanks for the tips! You look awesome!!!

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AMBER281 1/26/2012 5:57PM

    You have done amazing. Thanks so much for sharing things you have learned on your journey. Keep up the good work!

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1DERLAND14 1/26/2012 3:28PM

    YOu look great!!! You are such a great motivator on spark people! I loved this blog!!!

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THE_NEW_MELISSA 1/26/2012 11:09AM

    Looking good hot shot!

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TANRAZZ 1/26/2012 10:15AM

    You're doing awesomely!!! I loved reading these posts--I can't wait to see how you continue to progress!

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FIZZYBALL 1/25/2012 10:30PM

    You look fantastic. Great job on your adventure.

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SHARON10002 1/25/2012 10:19PM

    LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! You look amazing! What an accomplishment!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/25/2012 10:21:27 PM

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    Yes, I agree with ADVENTURESEEKER. You do not look like you weigh 275. You and I have the same BMI, though, and we wear the same it makes sense. I'm a shorty. I looked wayyyy bigger and more unhealthy than you at the beginning when I was 303 pounds at the start of my journey. I literally had no neck! lol

You have made awesome progress. This year is going to be much harder than last year...I can already tell! Let's make it through and be able to tell the tale of hard work when we're both svelte and fit next year!

Comment edited on: 1/25/2012 9:07:21 PM

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BEVERLY1983 1/25/2012 7:32PM

    Great Job on your 1 year anniversary. You have had such great success so far, can't wait to see you and everyone else another year from now. Keep up the good work. emoticon emoticon

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    Awesome! Very noticeable change :) Also, I want to say- you carry it very well because of your height, making you not look 275! (I'm 5'8", I know what I'm talking about- people guess me lighter all the time)


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