Monday, June 07, 2010
Well it's been awhile since my last blog... it's hard sometimes for me to express what's on my mind. It has been an interesting week for sure. It's had its ups and downs like everyone's.
I've never told anyone on here that I have rheumatoid arthritis. It is something that I have had since I was 22 so it has been 13 years now. I have been taking care of it myself all this time (nothing but Advil)... mostly because of insurance but also because I am scared to death of all the medications. (have you ever seen the disclaimers on the commercials!!) Well after making the decisions to take better care of my health... thank you Spark People and thanks you my wonderful Spark Friends!!!.... I have decided to go and see a Rhuematologist again. He told me that it is great I have been trying to loose weight and exercising regularly now. He put me on medication and believe me I am scared to death about it!! Its actually a chemotherapy drug... I cried for a few days after seeing him and the medication made me sick at my stomach right after taking it. But I am happy that I am taking control of it. I am staying positive and I am going to view this as a way to take even better care of myself.
I feel so much better about myself. I am not a 100%... there are things I would love to just wish away and not have to deal with but I am dealing with them and I am becoming a better person for it. I, like so many, struggle with being happy with myself... it drives my husband crazy sometimes. He sees no flaws in me and all I see are flaws at times but I have been working on it and I am doing better at not being so critical of myself.
Well that was the downs... the ups! I have been walking every morning for the last 2 weeks... I have lost 14 lbs and I am starting to feel great. I am still working on my body image and it is slowly getting there. I have a wonderful supportive husband and daughter who have walked with me most of those days and even a great friend who has joined me. My choice of changing my eating habits and exercise has had a great impact on my husband he has lost 9 lbs!! I am so proud of him!! Our relationship has been impacted for the good! We recently moved to a new house and we had our first BBQ and it was a huge success!
I also couldn't have done it with out you wonderful Spark People out there!! I love all the messages and encouragement that you all give everyday. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!