REDVELVET21   36,813
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Mixed Emotions

Friday, April 27, 2007

I am so anxious about Monday, that is my day to go to do my weigh in. I am wondering how should I do this weekend to get maximum results. I just want to be out of the 240 club. I would be happy to get to 239. That would still mean I would be out. So I will see. I think I am going to just do what I have been doing and not stress it. I do need to start working on my May plan to post on here in my blog. I need to shake things up a little. I don't want to hit a plateau. I went to the gym this morning and I got two pearls this week. The first one was on Wednesday, this pregnant lady stopped me and told me that she will be having her baby in 3 weeks and she says she might not be able to recognize me when she comes back, she told me to keep up the good work. Another lady told me to that she sees so many people come to the gym but she has never seen anyone work as hard as me. I have to admit that felt good. I truly thank God for these pearls because they feel good to hear the encouragement. I sometimes feel like crying because I have gotten to this point and its hard work to lose weight. I am not saying I am sad or wanting pity, ( I am okay) Its just like How could I mistreat myself and allow myself to get to this point where I have to work twice as hard to lose this weight and then to keep it off. I am just like nike says " Just do it" Kblunt " Failure is not an option" and Oprah "No Negotiations" I am just looking at this road and thinking of all the things I have missed out on being overweight and looking at all the things I will gain being healthier. I am going to be OKAY!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKOFFPOUNDS 4/27/2007 9:17PM

    Girl don't stress it. You have been working very hard, so we know that it will pay off! Keep beliveing in yourself! As one of my favorite Bible verse says "the race is not given to the quick, but to them that endures til the end"

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TORINICOLE77 4/27/2007 5:58PM

    Girl, I'm right there with you. I was 278 back in January and now I'm at about 247. My first small goal was to get to 240 by May 19th, which is my birthday. Seven pounds in 3 weeks?? I'on know about that one, but I'm soooo anxious about getting under 240 and meeting this first mini goal that I'm about to scream!! I'm trying not to stress over it, but I know exactly what you mean. It's like, how did I get here and WHY didn't anybody say anything?? Gosh, this is hard work. I appreciate people noticing the loss and it helps keep me motivated, but I'm ready to move to the next goal. I've been doing the same workout routine since January so I'm trying to kick it up a notch and surprise my body with something new. We'll see how it works. Just wanted you to know that I feel ya on that blog. -T

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BEAUTIFULGIRL18 4/27/2007 11:08AM

    Whatever weight we reach we should never look at it as failure. As someone who has had highs and lows, everything happened for a reason. There was no failure. What happened needed to happen at that particular time. Many times, weight is a reflection of what is happening in our job, relations, or relationshps at that time. Weight can be affected by so many things. My weight is not my soul. What I am learning now is another lesson to keep with me at my hardest times. I was blessed at 278 and I am blessed now. I was not a failure at 278 and I am not a failure now. You were never a failure. You were always a gift to this world and to your child.

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Red rambles!!!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I was sitting here and started thinking to myself about all of the things I am noticing about me since I have started this journey.....
I finally have come to a point where I have realized that I have to do this for me and no one else. I have tried to lose weight before and I will say this again and again You cannot do this until you are ready to make the change. It wont work, it wont work, It wont work. I have tried and failed many times before only to gain more weight back and be more depressed because I was taking quick and simple ways out. I am so glad that I have come to this point and its coming off and I know its going to stay off because this is a lifestyle I can live with. Plus if I can do it, you can to. I am so glad that I am finally getting these pounds on off.

These are a few changes I have noticed about me:

Love- I am loving me even more. I am focusing on the things I need to do in order to lose this weight and putting me first, meaning we can do whatever you want to do, but I need to get my exercise first. I prefer to get my exercise done first thing in the morning, which gives me energy through the day, I have tried the evening thing and could not sleep at night. Hmm.....My confidence is building up too. I can look people more in the eye, I always look people in the eyes when I speak to them but lately I can look into the eyes of a stranger and say hello. Smile. and keep on my merry way.

Determination- I have my DETERMINATION RUNNING ON HIGH, I am so determined to do this that I am not seeing anything else. I am not saying I just exercise but this is a goal that I am looking and seeing and I refuse to get sidetracked or even but on the backburner. I am going to make my goal and I have even thought about going even further down on my numbers to 160, but I am going to keep my goal at 181 for now because that will be 100 lbs down and then I will extend my goal. Plus right now I am taking it in quarter strides. I feel like I can do anything right now. I am on this.

Support- the support I get from here is wonderful, I like how we are all going through or have been at some point the pain, the midnight cravings, the beginning, the end and the in between. So we can all work as a team. I just enjoy the support we give another and the feedback. Its truly a wonderful thing.

I am just glad that this is all working out for me. I am doing it up Big.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUVLELISA 4/27/2007 12:36AM

    Im so proud of u ..... U had a LIGHTBULB moment im init 2 winit with u cause what WE DOING IT BIG I like that peace holla at u girl

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FOXYLOSE30 4/26/2007 7:58PM

    I think the side effects of losing weight is great..I am enjoying every moment of it. But you are correct, you have to do this for yourself. I think when you do, you are more determine. I am glad that you are enjoying your journey.

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5 more days....

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

5 more days til my main weigh in, I am glad, I want to know my results am I out of the 240 club, I hope so. I am going to stop using the scale at the gym its off on the weight. I had an appt at the doctors yesterday and the scale said 243 but the scale at the gym said 248. Hmmmm...... but when I do my official weigh in I will head back to the GNC and use their scale. I will have to pay 50 cents but thats okay, it was pretty accurate last time. Plus Tom will be gone by then and all of the bloat weight will be gone. I have been exercising and taking care of me, so hopefully all will go well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MBETTIS 4/26/2007 12:46PM

    I have heard a lot of things, but "TOM" is a first... girl what is that? I think I know, but tell me anyway. :)


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The Best Me, I can be!!!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

You have to be willing to do this for yourself.--- I have come to the realization, that I can not do this for anyone but for myself. I have been to the point where I asked my husband, " Do you think I am fat?" and he said "No." I felt fine with it at the time, and I accepted it. Why? Because I was looking at him to complete me. Now I know I cannot let anyone complete me because its all up to me for me to be happy. I have to step up my game and live for me. This is one body, one me, and one life. I cannot live another day like this. I look back at my 281 pictures and I think to myself, Who is that girl?? Honestly, she is not how I envisioned myself. I have decided that I have to do this for me and that its not up to anyone else. I have to do this and I have to be doing whatever it takes to achieve this goal.

No Negotiations.--- I have decided that my health and my happiness is no longer under negotiations. I am going to keep doing me and taking time out for me, to make sure I do what I need to do to continue making my health get on track and increase my confidence. Don't get me wrong my weight loss is not about looks, it is about me LOVING ME........this brings me to the point of How much do you love yourself??? I heard Oprah say this on the After the show special on Oxygen and its so true because if we loved ourselves and took out the time needed to take care of ourselves we wouldn't be where we are today. I truly believe this and I know that I doing better by myself for finding out who I am, and what I truly mean to myself. I am going to do this for me.
24 hours in the day, take one for yourself!!! last but not least, I have to take time out for me, this has become such a habit that I cannot go a day without taking an hour out for me. I have to do this, even if I go to the track tell my daughter sit there in the bleachers, ( she has her toys, paper, crayons, snacks and a juice) and she does not bother me. I have to get my ME Time in. I am so glad that I finally have come to the realization that I needed to do this for me. I am Finally being the best me that I can be......................


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKOFFPOUNDS 4/23/2007 10:00PM

    Amen Red! We share the same motto sistah! It's all about loving ouself, alot of women have this problem. Sometimes you have to do some deep soul searching.

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IMENOUGH 4/23/2007 11:03AM

    All I can say is AMEN!!!!

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NILLE1979 4/23/2007 10:27AM

    That is a great attitude to have Red!!

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LPRUE71 4/22/2007 11:43PM

    Red --
More power to you. Sometimes the people around us becsome complacent with us in our sickness. It's a big adjustment for them to make when we start focusing on ourselves beacause they are not used to it - and yes insecurity plays a a big part because the focus is no longer on them.

Compliments are probably abounding and some people may not be able to take it. I just would encourage you to keep the lines of coomunication open . Eventually they just have to make the adjustment. I encourage you to continue to foucs on yourself and do what's best for you. You're worth it!

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KEENIEBOY 4/22/2007 9:26PM

    This is what I'm talking about!! Why must I have to try to make someone understand my reasons for wanting to be healthy. I think it's ridiculous. I'm sick and tired of trying to pacify an adult. I mean is he that insecure that he doesn't care to understand where I'm coming from?

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Water.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

This week I plan to work on drinking my water to reach my goal of 122 oz. That is half of my last weigh in weight. So when my weigh in change I will be able to drink less water. I like water, but when you are trying to drink half of your body weight its kind of hard, I will just have to pace myself drinking the water at a steady pace. We will see how this goes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FOXYLOSE30 4/22/2007 7:29PM

    We both have the seems goals..that is to increase water intake. You will do well.

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