Thursday, April 26, 2007
I was sitting here and started thinking to myself about all of the things I am noticing about me since I have started this journey.....
I finally have come to a point where I have realized that I have to do this for me and no one else. I have tried to lose weight before and I will say this again and again You cannot do this until you are ready to make the change. It wont work, it wont work, It wont work. I have tried and failed many times before only to gain more weight back and be more depressed because I was taking quick and simple ways out. I am so glad that I have come to this point and its coming off and I know its going to stay off because this is a lifestyle I can live with. Plus if I can do it, you can to. I am so glad that I am finally getting these pounds on off.
These are a few changes I have noticed about me:
Love- I am loving me even more. I am focusing on the things I need to do in order to lose this weight and putting me first, meaning we can do whatever you want to do, but I need to get my exercise first. I prefer to get my exercise done first thing in the morning, which gives me energy through the day, I have tried the evening thing and could not sleep at night. Hmm.....My confidence is building up too. I can look people more in the eye, I always look people in the eyes when I speak to them but lately I can look into the eyes of a stranger and say hello. Smile. and keep on my merry way.
Determination- I have my DETERMINATION RUNNING ON HIGH, I am so determined to do this that I am not seeing anything else. I am not saying I just exercise but this is a goal that I am looking and seeing and I refuse to get sidetracked or even but on the backburner. I am going to make my goal and I have even thought about going even further down on my numbers to 160, but I am going to keep my goal at 181 for now because that will be 100 lbs down and then I will extend my goal. Plus right now I am taking it in quarter strides. I feel like I can do anything right now. I am on this.
Support- the support I get from here is wonderful, I like how we are all going through or have been at some point the pain, the midnight cravings, the beginning, the end and the in between. So we can all work as a team. I just enjoy the support we give another and the feedback. Its truly a wonderful thing.
I am just glad that this is all working out for me. I am doing it up Big.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
5 more days til my main weigh in, I am glad, I want to know my results am I out of the 240 club, I hope so. I am going to stop using the scale at the gym its off on the weight. I had an appt at the doctors yesterday and the scale said 243 but the scale at the gym said 248. Hmmmm...... but when I do my official weigh in I will head back to the GNC and use their scale. I will have to pay 50 cents but thats okay, it was pretty accurate last time. Plus Tom will be gone by then and all of the bloat weight will be gone. I have been exercising and taking care of me, so hopefully all will go well.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
You have to be willing to do this for yourself.--- I have come to the realization, that I can not do this for anyone but for myself. I have been to the point where I asked my husband, " Do you think I am fat?" and he said "No." I felt fine with it at the time, and I accepted it. Why? Because I was looking at him to complete me. Now I know I cannot let anyone complete me because its all up to me for me to be happy. I have to step up my game and live for me. This is one body, one me, and one life. I cannot live another day like this. I look back at my 281 pictures and I think to myself, Who is that girl?? Honestly, she is not how I envisioned myself. I have decided that I have to do this for me and that its not up to anyone else. I have to do this and I have to be doing whatever it takes to achieve this goal.
No Negotiations.--- I have decided that my health and my happiness is no longer under negotiations. I am going to keep doing me and taking time out for me, to make sure I do what I need to do to continue making my health get on track and increase my confidence. Don't get me wrong my weight loss is not about looks, it is about me LOVING ME........this brings me to the point of How much do you love yourself??? I heard Oprah say this on the After the show special on Oxygen and its so true because if we loved ourselves and took out the time needed to take care of ourselves we wouldn't be where we are today. I truly believe this and I know that I doing better by myself for finding out who I am, and what I truly mean to myself. I am going to do this for me.
24 hours in the day, take one for yourself!!! last but not least, I have to take time out for me, this has become such a habit that I cannot go a day without taking an hour out for me. I have to do this, even if I go to the track tell my daughter sit there in the bleachers, ( she has her toys, paper, crayons, snacks and a juice) and she does not bother me. I have to get my ME Time in. I am so glad that I finally have come to the realization that I needed to do this for me. I am Finally being the best me that I can be......................
Sunday, April 22, 2007
This week I plan to work on drinking my water to reach my goal of 122 oz. That is half of my last weigh in weight. So when my weigh in change I will be able to drink less water. I like water, but when you are trying to drink half of your body weight its kind of hard, I will just have to pace myself drinking the water at a steady pace. We will see how this goes.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Referring back to yesterday!!!!
Okay my body is wacky!!! This morning, I was not going to go to the gym, because I had so much to do, and I guess out of habit, I put on my sweats, and my t shirt, put on my gym shoes, grabbed my IPOD, my water bottle, my body was saying to come back home and go back to sleep for 1 hour, then finish my paperwork but my mind said you have come to far to stop now, My body was calling for the sleep but when I got to the gym, I ran my 2 miles first to wake up my body and even then its like my body was trying to fight it, I dont know, now its 1217 midnight and I am wired, my body is full of energy. Am I reverting back to European time. Hmmmmm...............
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