REDVELVET21   35,964
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The Best Me, I can be!!!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

You have to be willing to do this for yourself.--- I have come to the realization, that I can not do this for anyone but for myself. I have been to the point where I asked my husband, " Do you think I am fat?" and he said "No." I felt fine with it at the time, and I accepted it. Why? Because I was looking at him to complete me. Now I know I cannot let anyone complete me because its all up to me for me to be happy. I have to step up my game and live for me. This is one body, one me, and one life. I cannot live another day like this. I look back at my 281 pictures and I think to myself, Who is that girl?? Honestly, she is not how I envisioned myself. I have decided that I have to do this for me and that its not up to anyone else. I have to do this and I have to be doing whatever it takes to achieve this goal.

No Negotiations.--- I have decided that my health and my happiness is no longer under negotiations. I am going to keep doing me and taking time out for me, to make sure I do what I need to do to continue making my health get on track and increase my confidence. Don't get me wrong my weight loss is not about looks, it is about me LOVING ME........this brings me to the point of How much do you love yourself??? I heard Oprah say this on the After the show special on Oxygen and its so true because if we loved ourselves and took out the time needed to take care of ourselves we wouldn't be where we are today. I truly believe this and I know that I doing better by myself for finding out who I am, and what I truly mean to myself. I am going to do this for me.
24 hours in the day, take one for yourself!!! last but not least, I have to take time out for me, this has become such a habit that I cannot go a day without taking an hour out for me. I have to do this, even if I go to the track tell my daughter sit there in the bleachers, ( she has her toys, paper, crayons, snacks and a juice) and she does not bother me. I have to get my ME Time in. I am so glad that I finally have come to the realization that I needed to do this for me. I am Finally being the best me that I can be......................

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKOFFPOUNDS 4/23/2007 10:00PM

    Amen Red! We share the same motto sistah! It's all about loving ouself, alot of women have this problem. Sometimes you have to do some deep soul searching.

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IMENOUGH 4/23/2007 11:03AM

    All I can say is AMEN!!!!

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NILLE1979 4/23/2007 10:27AM

    That is a great attitude to have Red!!

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LPRUE71 4/22/2007 11:43PM

    Red --
More power to you. Sometimes the people around us becsome complacent with us in our sickness. It's a big adjustment for them to make when we start focusing on ourselves beacause they are not used to it - and yes insecurity plays a a big part because the focus is no longer on them.

Compliments are probably abounding and some people may not be able to take it. I just would encourage you to keep the lines of coomunication open . Eventually they just have to make the adjustment. I encourage you to continue to foucs on yourself and do what's best for you. You're worth it!

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KEENIEBOY 4/22/2007 9:26PM

    This is what I'm talking about!! Why must I have to try to make someone understand my reasons for wanting to be healthy. I think it's ridiculous. I'm sick and tired of trying to pacify an adult. I mean is he that insecure that he doesn't care to understand where I'm coming from?

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

This week I plan to work on drinking my water to reach my goal of 122 oz. That is half of my last weigh in weight. So when my weigh in change I will be able to drink less water. I like water, but when you are trying to drink half of your body weight its kind of hard, I will just have to pace myself drinking the water at a steady pace. We will see how this goes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FOXYLOSE30 4/22/2007 7:29PM

    We both have the seems goals..that is to increase water intake. You will do well.

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Mind vs Body

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Referring back to yesterday!!!!
Okay my body is wacky!!! This morning, I was not going to go to the gym, because I had so much to do, and I guess out of habit, I put on my sweats, and my t shirt, put on my gym shoes, grabbed my IPOD, my water bottle, my body was saying to come back home and go back to sleep for 1 hour, then finish my paperwork but my mind said you have come to far to stop now, My body was calling for the sleep but when I got to the gym, I ran my 2 miles first to wake up my body and even then its like my body was trying to fight it, I dont know, now its 1217 midnight and I am wired, my body is full of energy. Am I reverting back to European time. Hmmmmm...............

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROLOS247 4/21/2007 10:21AM

    You know what? You hit it on the nail. You got prepared to go to the gym because you were in the habit of doing so. You have retrained your mind. So many of us become overweight because we are stuck in a certain habit. I know I can eat a fulfilling meal and 1 hr later be in the mood for something. Now that I recognize the habit, I stop it. As tired as you were, you went and ran 2 miles (u go girl) and it gave you energy. I have to remember your story next time I think I am too tired to workout. I'll think about the benefits if I do workout vs if i don't

Keep up the good work!

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How did I get here???

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Today is a good day, I had to answer a question yesterday that made me look at myself deeper because I had never been asked the question before.

The question was "How did you get that big?"

I had to give it a thought and once I started typing it just flowed out of my soul. Here's my response.

For one I was never small, I weighed 199 in 9th grade but I was really active, and it wasn't flabby or anything, So my mom never pushed the weight issue with me. I weighed 210 at 18 but I still wasn't unhappy about my weight I figured I was just thick, but cute, living life and hanging out no one ever complained about it, and I didnt see anything wrong with it. Now when I was 20 and weighed in at 245 ( going through alot of problems with my boyfriend at the time) I had gotten comfortable, my mom and I went to a weight loss clinic in Texas where I started taking Phentermine and she was taking Adipex, I lost 10lbs in the first week I was doing really good, then I stopped taking the pills when I got back down to 210 and gained the weight back really fast, I got pregnant, married, and then I would try to lose the weight but would lose a little bit but then I would gain more back, we moved to Italy right before my daughter turned 1, I was working, going to school, and not taking time out for me, plus I was going through a depression over there, small community where everyone knows everyones business, hubby was out doing his thing and I wasnt doing mine, and the weight just came on, last year when I moved back to the states, I went to a gym in Georgia, and I weighed myself and saw the 281 mark, I nearly cried because it's not something I was proud of I started working out, July will be my one year anniversary where I started putting me first. I joined SP back in Feb 07 to get extra support, but now I can talk more about it, Any questions you have I can answer I am not ashamed, I just reached my breaking point, where I wanted to do something for me, trust me now my husband is trying to make up for all the stuff he did in italy, because he sees how I am putting me first now. LOL, I just didnt put me first.

Now to those of you who come here I ask you the same question, "How did you get this big?" Do not let it offend you, because it is something we need t come to terms with.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOVEN_KARI 4/19/2007 9:32PM

    I woke up one morning and asked myself the same question. We are all together on that one.

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JQUISTA 4/18/2007 10:56AM

    Like you Red, I never really was a small girl. I've been overweight since I was 3. But to get to 283 pounds my starting weight here was a combination of greed, emotional eating and a sedentary lifestyle. I came to the realization that I was literally eating myself to death on February 22, 2007 before that I knew I was unhealthy but I was in serious denial. Now I know that I have the power to change and I excercise that power each and every day. I want to change more than anything else and I'm fighting daily to reach my goal. I'm changing not only for me but because I don't want my daughter to follow in my footsteps. I want her to know that she doesn't have to be addicted to food like I was. I want her to live a full and healthy life, I'm her biggest and most powerful role model. I want her to be proud of her mommy.

*****I know your secret to success now (running) I'll definately add that to my workout I want a tight runner's body!

Good luck and much love to you Red, see you at 180!

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ANGELGREGZION 4/17/2007 12:40PM

    I know it's because of my emotional eating, and the way I was raised. Sometimes I try to ignore it. But like you, I joined SP a little over a year ago and I am still in the same weight catagory. It's hard, but there are so many resources on this web that we can use, we should use them! Good luck to you and God Bless.

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A few fears.....

Monday, April 16, 2007

1. Will I be able to maintain my weight once its all gone, I don't ever want to gain it back.

2. Will I get a big head once I lose all of my weight???

I know that I am doing this the right way, but at the same time, I don't want to lose what I am working so hard to make a lifestyle. I am doing my best here and truly want to accomplish this goal, but then I am worried that all the attention I am starting to get will make me get a big head. LOL, HELP!!! Getting more attention, not just from other males, but hubby too. Hmmmm.........

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJIOTAL 4/16/2007 7:45PM

    Well not "any man"

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AJIOTAL 4/16/2007 7:44PM

    LOL funny you should bring this up!! I hope I don't get a big head and if I do God will put me in MY PLACE again for sure. My friend was like "you not even going to know my name anymore when you lose weight" I fantasize about being a sexy diva and attracting this FINE Shemar Moore type of guy all of the time. But all in all I really have feelings for my male friend but he is really not the type of guy I fantasize about and I am not the type of girl he see's in his dreams! So basically it all boils down to this, looks don't last but love does and thats all that matters (but it is fun to get noticed by any man) I hope I can maintain my weight because right now I have hit a plateau ALREADY! Check me blog if you want. Talk layta!!

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