Thursday, April 19, 2007
Referring back to yesterday!!!!
Okay my body is wacky!!! This morning, I was not going to go to the gym, because I had so much to do, and I guess out of habit, I put on my sweats, and my t shirt, put on my gym shoes, grabbed my IPOD, my water bottle, my body was saying to come back home and go back to sleep for 1 hour, then finish my paperwork but my mind said you have come to far to stop now, My body was calling for the sleep but when I got to the gym, I ran my 2 miles first to wake up my body and even then its like my body was trying to fight it, I dont know, now its 1217 midnight and I am wired, my body is full of energy. Am I reverting back to European time. Hmmmmm...............
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Today is a good day, I had to answer a question yesterday that made me look at myself deeper because I had never been asked the question before.
The question was "How did you get that big?"
I had to give it a thought and once I started typing it just flowed out of my soul. Here's my response.
For one I was never small, I weighed 199 in 9th grade but I was really active, and it wasn't flabby or anything, So my mom never pushed the weight issue with me. I weighed 210 at 18 but I still wasn't unhappy about my weight I figured I was just thick, but cute, living life and hanging out no one ever complained about it, and I didnt see anything wrong with it. Now when I was 20 and weighed in at 245 ( going through alot of problems with my boyfriend at the time) I had gotten comfortable, my mom and I went to a weight loss clinic in Texas where I started taking Phentermine and she was taking Adipex, I lost 10lbs in the first week I was doing really good, then I stopped taking the pills when I got back down to 210 and gained the weight back really fast, I got pregnant, married, and then I would try to lose the weight but would lose a little bit but then I would gain more back, we moved to Italy right before my daughter turned 1, I was working, going to school, and not taking time out for me, plus I was going through a depression over there, small community where everyone knows everyones business, hubby was out doing his thing and I wasnt doing mine, and the weight just came on, last year when I moved back to the states, I went to a gym in Georgia, and I weighed myself and saw the 281 mark, I nearly cried because it's not something I was proud of I started working out, July will be my one year anniversary where I started putting me first. I joined SP back in Feb 07 to get extra support, but now I can talk more about it, Any questions you have I can answer I am not ashamed, I just reached my breaking point, where I wanted to do something for me, trust me now my husband is trying to make up for all the stuff he did in italy, because he sees how I am putting me first now. LOL, I just didnt put me first.
Now to those of you who come here I ask you the same question, "How did you get this big?" Do not let it offend you, because it is something we need t come to terms with.
Monday, April 16, 2007
1. Will I be able to maintain my weight once its all gone, I don't ever want to gain it back.
2. Will I get a big head once I lose all of my weight???
I know that I am doing this the right way, but at the same time, I don't want to lose what I am working so hard to make a lifestyle. I am doing my best here and truly want to accomplish this goal, but then I am worried that all the attention I am starting to get will make me get a big head. LOL, HELP!!! Getting more attention, not just from other males, but hubby too. Hmmmm.........
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I just realized TOM must be on the way because I am extremely sleepy the past two days, and I have the munchies. I am going to focus extra hard with him on the way because I don't want to miss our on my April 30th goal weight of 235. I want him to come on and leave already, because I always have a tendency to gain 5lbs, but I want him to come and go so those lbs don't show on the scale. LOL. Every month why must we go through this????
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Okay, I am down to 15 days til my daughters bday, I am hoping to be down to 235, I plan on going to GNC that morning and do my weigh in on their scale, it is very accurate and down to the oz. I am re-evaluating my self and plan to make this goal, I last did my official weigh in on April 1st for 244, I don't know my current #, I am not stressing I do plan to do my weigh in on the 30th.
Drink 8 glasses of water
Get 8 hours of sleep
Eat 5 fruits & veggies a day
Stay within calorie range
I am pretty much doing the water and calorie range, I just need to work on my sleep and get my fruits and veggies. I also slacked off on my crunches this week, so I need to crunch back up, Hopefully if I meet my goal for April 30th, I will be at my 50 lbs mark (231) for Mothers Day. YEAH!!!! I need to find a reward for that. A friend of mine was telling me to go out to eat, I had to explain that I no longer reward with food, I might order a nice summer dress, to wear.
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