Saturday, May 12, 2007
I'm looking to be me, looking to be free, to find the girl who is deep down inside of me. She is slowly coming back out, like she was buried beneath the fat. She is me, the long lost me, the me I used to be, I need her to come back and live life like I'm supposed to be, I missed that girl, never realized til layer after layer started peeling away she slowly started coming back alive, its funny how I forgot how to live, like it was lost in the wind but now looking back I realize that I had not forgotten, but had put on a suit of shame, a suit of discomfort, a suit of excuses, a suit of laziness, a suit of so many things the list could go on and on. I am glad that as th suit is peeling away she is showing her face, the new suit is filled with energy, life, love, comfort, motivation and determination. I am proud to wear this suit yet it doesn't fit right just yet I am growing into it, because it is in a one size fits all and as my weight comes down it will be just right, maybe a little big but thats okay its to share with others on this journey as well.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I have made it, I never gave it a second thought, this has been something that I have been thinking about for quite some time. I have been thinking about giving up meat, not completely but for most of my diet, meaning maybe once or twice a week, but not even that often, because I am truely not missing anything. I will tell you from this week of not eating meat, I was okay with it, I noticed that not alot of places cater to those who don't eat meat, you have to be creative with your meals if you will make this a lifestyle, I will still eat eggs, beans and nuts although they are a part of the meat family. I am not claiming to be a full vegetarian or a partial vegetarian, I just don't want to eat all of that meat. I did lose 3 lbs since leaving out meat. I am not looking for them so if you see them, I advise you to run as fast as you can. LOL, I do know that I dont feel as heavy after a meal, as I do when I eat meat. I plan to continue to do this maybe this week I will eat meat once, but I want to see what effect this has on my cycle. I wonder if it will lessen my flow. I will write more on that as the time comes.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Today is another day, yet it is anew because to me every day is a journey on the path to success. I am on a road that has been travelled many times, yet I never got this far down the road to see the accomplishments of hard work and determination. Who would have known that this would be so refreshing and helpful to me.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I hope you know that I will not miss you, I am leaving today with no regrets and i am leaving to a happier place, I am currently at 239 and I am not missing you. I think about you from time to time, but I think that you know we weren't on good terms for the way I got to you and now I am not even going to stress because I am going down to a better place. I'm taking that midnight train to Georgia!!!!!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Its funny I think back some on my weight of 281 and listening to the Michael Baisden show today prompted me to something I had already thought before. We tend to think that because of our relatives, family, or race that it is just natural for us to be thick. It is so not true. We think that we have to have the bubble butts, and big boobs, or we wont be womanly. I am not saying I want to be a stick thin girl no, I want my curves just as much as the next woman but its time for us to get off that bus of the fat back in the greens, the over sugared cobblers, yams, fried chicken and macaroni and cheese and find other alternatives to help us teach our kids today to be healthier. We owe it to our future, corporate america is thinking that fast food is the way to go, a woman on the radio says she is 5'2 weighs 195, eats out 3 times a day and only have a bowel movement every other day. What is wrong with this picture. She is not picking healthy alternatives to help take care of her body, The sad part is that we cannot save everyone...........................This is not just a struggle within me to get my own weight in check but to help others. Why am I starting to feel this way????
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