Monday, July 07, 2014
In my last post, i commented on that I only eat what I like. A couple people thought, 'Well, duh, naturally!' But actually, it wasn't 'natural' and it was something I had to learn to do.
In the past I internalized and carried a lot of rules and judges about eating. 'Don't waste. If you put it on your plate you must eat it'. I ate because there was some left-over in the serving bowl or pot. I ate the 'not to waste' - off my husband's plate, the last slice of anything and so on. I sometimes ate things that were just there in the fridge, even though I wasn't really hungry or wanted them.
I also learned that what I ate was somehow important to other people. I learned I could hurt them by saying' No Thank You'. I ate food that people brought to my house, and listened to 'its only a little carbs, only a bit of sugar.' To be polite, I ate food at people's homes that weren't best for me. I even ate the portions other people served me. I'd go to a restaurant and not find anything that worked for me, but didn't suggest we go somewhere else.
All these things were food that I didn't really like and in that, I eventually saw that every time I ate that way I was NOT satisfied and then ate something else I did like later. But of course, that was extra food.
And eventually, I realized all these old rules were outdated, from another time and place and have absolutely no place in my life now.
I remember the first time in a restaurant I made a new choice - just for me. I was served an entree that came in a goopy, cornstarch sauce. I tried to pick out the meat and veggies, but it just wasn't working. I thought I'd eat something else when I got home. But then I just said,' I cannot eat this way.' I ordered another entree and had them take away the one that didn't work. I pushed through my guilt about the money, my guilt about 'offending' the restaurant and then enjoyed my meal. My husband was totally supportive and said, 'Never, ever eat what doesn't work for you.'
Now when I turn down food from other people, I say I am 'carb-sensitive' and people seem to get that or at the least, they accept my 'no thank you.' And even if they were to be offended, that's really their problem not mine. My food choices are mine along.
I like that.
Friday, July 04, 2014
I decided to celebrate Independence Day by thinking about the steps I take to keep myself 'independent' from my old choices and patterns.
I'm still in 'Beginning Spark Year Two' mode, looking at my ongoing plan with a fresh eye, so I decided to write this post to remind myself of how I intend to Keep On Keeping On. I mentioned some of these things in an earlier post, but here they are again. Maybe some of my approaches will resonate with you.
I added a mile to my morning river walk of 2 miles, which I walk with my husband each day. He doesn't do the extra loop and it turns out, that I like walking at a faster pace and being in my own head. Sometimes I make up little 'affirmation' songs, other times I focus on the mountains, trees and river and sometimes I think about the day ahead. By the way, we often get a quick breakfast at McDonalds before our walk and I love that I can get bacon or sausage or egg on a platter for very little moola.
I always drink a lot of water, but I didn't count those recommended 8 glasses, so I decided to see if the magic count of 8 glasses do make a difference. I fill a pitcher each day instead of count. Can't tell yet it it's actually a plus, but it's certainly not a minus.
During my old-school Atkins Fat Fast, I read a bit more about fats and Atkins and have been more conscious about eating enough fat. I found 2 recipes at CarbSmart - creamed spinach and creamed mushrooms using cream cheese or Boursin cheese that I have moved into my 'favorites' category.
I add a tsp or so of Coconut Oil to the cream in my coffee. I like to heat and froth the cream [I actually use 1/2 and 1/2 because it froths better] and I then add the Coconut Oil. I find it seems to give me a little 'boost of energy and seems to even out how my body takes in the caffeine.
I am now doing my afternoon 'crunches' and exercises four times a week. I simply didn't do them every day and then realized when I took that onus off, I am 'ready' for them. Also, my massage therapist said it was actually better giving my muscles time off with the in-between days.
Basically I don't eat any carbs at home - all baked goods, pasta, rice, potatoes, etc. I do eat a 'loaded' baked potato in a restaurant a couple times a month. I find the fat from the sour cream, butter and cheese anchor the carb response. I also eat small tastes of good bread in a restaurant, using lots of butter as the anchor. Occasionally while traveling, I may even eat a small bit of pasta or as in Florida, grits. I have just found it easier to do it this way. I have no problem making carbs for my husband either. I usually make a batch of noodles, rice, etc and then freeze portions for him. He picks out his own breads, muffins, etc in the grocery store.
I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I satisfy the one I have with whipped cream. Sometimes on sugar-free jello or sugar-free pudding made with 1/2 and 1/2. I've enjoyed some strawberries this summer too. A friend gave me a small whipped cream dispenser that uses little cartridges. I love it, as I found the grocery store whipped creams too sweet for me. I just add 4oz of heavy whipping cream and that's it.
I always make sure I have 'grab-ables' in the fridge - mozzarella balls in oil, olives in oil. good salami, pepperoni, cheese etc. Along with cut up celery, sliced cukes, zucchini and radishes. As you can tell, my taste is on the 'salt & savory' spectrum.
And as I wrote in another post, using zucchini spirals as a pasta replacement is my favorite 'trick'. Somehow these noodle replacements just satisfy my 'sense' of pasta. I never liked the alternative pastas - corn, rice, soy, etc. Also it turns out, that 'cream sauces' actually have less carbs than typical tomato sauce. I often use the cream sauce as a base and add tomato to it. Today I am going to try a chilled salad using the zucchini spirals. I love my not very expensive Veggetti spiraler!
Most of all, I really LIKE all the food I do eat, the foods on my plan, in my approach. I simply don't eat things that don't please me. I find don't feel deprived of the foods I chose not to eat, as I am so satisfied with the foods I do eat. I recently said to a friend at breakfast, as I ordered eggs with my usual with 'no toast, no potatoes' [I get grilled onions or tomato], that I may never have toast again. She was appalled and I said, 'Well, I will have some bread but really good bread, like a baguette, not just plain diner-style white bread toast.' In any event, eating only what I like works well for me.
I'm working toward losing 8 more pounds, but feel emotionally very 'light' about it. Happy to get there but happy as I am. Year Two just finds me in a very different place then Year One at my highest weight.
Disconnecting from some things about food - food as comfort, food to quell anger, food as reward - has been so freeing. My food is now independent of these emotions in a very different way. In fact, actually feeling those feelings is freeing and I find I move through them more quickly and look for solutions and examine why do I feel that way.
Hooray from Independence from old habits, old patterns! Independece from doing something to feel good for a moment which always ended making me feel bad for a long time! I vote for the freedom to be this me! And I'm celebrating!
Free to Be Me collage
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
Inspired by a quote from PixieLicious. I have taken to singing little supportive songs to myself when I do my 'bonus' walk without my husband. lol - but really, whatever works.
Right now there IS a song in my heart, but this little image is a good reminder for those days that it seems not so.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Obviously, feeling good today. I decided to celebrate my one year Spark Anniversary with some refocusing. I added another mile to my daily walk, committed at least 4xweek to my floor exercises, tracking 8 glass of water a day with 'my' pitcher filled with the exact amount and then followed a suggestion from Woubbie and checked out doing an Atkins Fat Fast, which I am now on the 4th and last day of.
I got a lot of good info and tasty recipes on the Fat Fast from CarbSmart.com. There is heaps of free info there, but I even opted for the $4.99 e-book of recipes. I found it useful because it really goes into the background aspect of the Fat Fast and I think in general, I'll be adding some higher fat recipes to my ongoing plan.
I have now set my goal to lose 10 more pounds, which will be a total of 47 pounds lost. I have not been 140 for over 15 years and now feel I can do it. When I hit my high of 187, I wanted to lose 50 pounds, but I simply could not imagine that I could actually do that. Friends all came up with the 'you are older and may not be able to lose' advice, perhaps to keep me from being disappointed. So I set what I thought was the reasonable goal of losing 30 pounds. With Spark beside me and my new experiences, I know I can continue to change.
But again, most of all, I feel great, have nice steady energy, can walk up a storm, have nice below-normal cholesterol and blood pressure counts and am ready to continue down the road for the long haul.
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