Thursday, December 25, 2014
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Recently my husband and I had a contretemps about something, the specific of which, neither of us now remember, but we both reacted from our old patterns. And these are patterns that just arise and one finds oneself having the same reaction and the same response over and over.
My husband said, 'You know, we both got to a place, where we were able to say No to carbs and our old food patterns, I wonder if we can do that with these patterns too.' So we're giving it a try.
I have found that somehow I just had to get to that 'enough is enough' inner place to really shift a pattern. In my case, the doctor suggesting that my weight might be impacting the plantar fasciitis and the idea that my walking would be limited, jump-started my alignment to losing weight and getting aligned again. And alignment for me, meant low-carb Atkins-style.
In this last go-around with my husband, I feel like I did reach a bottom line, an 'enough is enough' place and I began to use my mental 'no carbs' imagery for 'no patterns. The next time something came up, I said, 'I want to react in my old way, but I'm not going to, so let's talk about this later.' And I've continued with a variation on this theme. I don't know if he is doing the same thing himself in the same way, but he does pause, when I pause on my end.
As I write this, I see this insight is probably pretty obvious to someone else, but it's the first time I really put the 'diet' tools of my life in direct action with another part of my life. I may be slow, but I keep learning.
Friday, December 05, 2014
As you might know, I have been having big changes the last two months - my husband and I decided to downsize to an apartment from our large house and it has been busy busy busy. My step-daughter wanted to come for a final visit in our old place and while that seemed a good idea at the time we planned it, it has interrupted our flow a bit and is a somewhat stressful - but still good to see her.
But through all this time I have read my Spark emails every day and got my points and spun the wheel for logging in. Along the way, I noticed this simple act of 'checking in' has felt like a rudder, holding me to my steady course.
I know many people have great benefit from tracking lots of things- their food, their water and so on. I do track my weight, but other than that, tracking pushes all my inner judge buttons, rather than feel helpful, so I have found it interesting to see that the daily log-in feels so supportive to me, Perhaps the 'reward' aspect, touches some background sense of achievement. I'm sure the Spark designers studied how to keep people motivated and I'm glad they did.
I also had a sense of how easy it could be to lose focus and attention. Recently someone posted their 'last' blog post. They had reached goal and would check in sometimes, but they weren't going to blog any longer. I've done that in the past and it is right there that I lost my way and regained my weight. So again, the daily email, the pull to log-in and Spin the Wheel and read my friends blogs and posts, are there as a steadying hand. Thanks SparkPeople.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Recently it got cold here in Virginia and on that day it was also very windy. We went for our morning river walk. I wore my nice polartech coat from past years and a hat and gloves. But halfway through the walk I got thoroughly chilled. Walking did not bring up the heat and finally, I said I had to go back. My husband turned up the heat in the car but I couldn't shake the chill until we got home and I drank some hot tea. And there I was puzzled at this turn of events, saying I never get this cold. Why I wore this coat all last winter and was fine!
My husband laughed and said, 'Well, you're not seeing the whole picture once again. Last winter you had lost about 15 ponds and this winter you are down almost 40. And in your case, that weight was in your middle, your core. Your body is different now, so what worked last year obviously isn't working this year. '
He pulled out my down jacket which I had mentally decided I 'didn't need yet' - not cold enough - and said now you see that you do. I then got out my warm camisoles and got some silk long-johns for more wintry walks.
Once again I am struck by my tendency to think about weight loss in only pounds and miss the big picture. I also note that there is something in the background that tends to minimize my loss, as in, 'Well, I've ONLY lost almost 40 pounds.' I think the 'ideal weight' of the culture is in my subconscious and since I'm not 'thin' and weigh 120, I still do not respond to myself as actually thinner. I only get there by being thinking it through, being conscious about it, or in my case, having someone point out the obvious to me.
BTW, a friend of mine who lost over 100 pounds, told me she has been cold ever since. She thought her body would 'reset' its internal temp but in her case it did not, so she just bundles up. Don't know if this is a general phenomenon but I'm prepared to respond as need be.
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