REDHEADMOM2U   76,868
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20 months later

Sunday, December 29, 2013

yeah....I'm back.

Where I started.

Worse shape than before

Less confidence than ever.

BUT I'm here, today. So there's that!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KTLASERS 1/1/2014 11:19PM

    emoticon

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RSANDBERG 12/31/2013 12:11PM

    Great Decision!!! Before the new year, you already made up your mind to do the next thing-WAY TO GO! Focus on what lies ahead. Keep the important thing the important thing. You go girl.
Your friend,
Becky

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/31/2013 11:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Sounds like a WIN to me!

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MEGGUILLORY 12/30/2013 8:50PM

    I'm back too! Ready to make a life change this time! emoticon emoticon

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MARYBETH4884 12/30/2013 6:59AM

    Welcome back, Just make small changes over time!! Those changes will build up and you'll be feeling great!! emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/30/2013 1:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon The important thing is that you are back. Can't change the past but we can start making changes from this moment forward. Don't be afraid to ask for support that is what SparkPeople is here for!

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JACKIEPB 12/29/2013 11:46PM

    One foot in front of the other. You'll be fine!

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CARANN56 12/29/2013 10:50PM

    ohhhhhhh....... How I can SO relate!!!

I'm back too ....Hooray for us!

My job has been totally understaffed and stressful, along with physical injuries AND I quit even logging in to Spark people.

Thus - I have gained all my weight back (plus 2) ARGHHH

Let's start this thing all again!

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SERENE-BEAN 12/29/2013 10:17PM

    Yeserday's over. Today is a new chance to be kind to yourself!

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SCRAPPER1124 12/29/2013 9:41PM

    The most important thing is that your back! I started back in Oct also after being off for awhile too. emoticon

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HDHAWK 12/29/2013 9:10PM

    I am right there with you. Not only am I back where I started, I brought along 20 more pounds with me. I've stayed active on Spark but have done nothing but spin my wheels for over 2 yrs. I finally got back on the wagon 2 weeks ago and am getting more consistent with exercise, although it's not easy with all this extra weight. I'm frustrated that I let myself go like this when I worked so hard to get into shape, but that's over with and I'm moving forward. You can too!

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Just for today

Sunday, May 06, 2012

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Well, I've been on track since Monday! woohoo to me indeed!

I haven't been perfect by any long shot. I'm still not doing everything I was doing at the height of my year long weight loss. I am starting to have those "sheez, why did I let it get away from me" nagging thoughts.

BUT

I'm drinking lots of water every day
FAR fewer diet cokes
Walked most days, walked 255 minutes this week!
Eating has been reasonable overall (must be, I'm down 5 pounds since Monday!)
I'm putting good days together...and pretty soon it's easier to continue the streak than break it...truly "just for today" is a great motto...just gotta keep those days consecutive!

As for my back slide, I try to tell myself that I didnt' regain it all. That I should cut myself slack (I am). That its better for my body to slowly lose than not.

I'm doing this for me, for my health, and yes, for cuter clothes. But for me. So, when I see people who know I regained over 40 pounds, I "see" the look in their eye. But it's their thing, not mine. My thing is doing the best I can each day. I'm not always successful, but I'm always me. And that's pretty cool!

Hope your day is going well my sparkfriends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEO12 6/6/2012 12:54PM

    emoticon Keep it up!!! emoticon

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ADAM2298 5/13/2012 11:57AM

    Trying to focus on the good things that one does can be tough. We like to beat ourselves and dwell on what we did wrong. Take a lesson from Dan Gable. He is considered to be one of the best wrestlers this country ever produced. He was undefeated from High School through college and then he lost his first match.

This was an incredible story at the time. Coaches, fans and other wrestlers wondered would he be able to come back? The following week a newspaper reporter called his home and his father answered the phone. The reporter asked how was Dan coping with his first defeat ? The father said he " didn't know, " Dan was down in the basement working out before he went to bed. One loss does not make a career.
Years later he said that he lost the match because he focused on the negatives while wrestling in the match rather than on the positives he was doing. Overall he only lost one match, Won gold in the Olympics and had an incredible career as a college coach. All because be focused on his positivies.

Review the negatives, try to do better and enjoy the positives. You are doing a lot more right than you think. Perfection is something we work towards, it is not something we become, so give yourself some slack and write out the positives and get back to your plan. I wish you well.

Comment edited on: 5/13/2012 12:04:00 PM

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HGSGUY 5/8/2012 12:16AM

    The important part is you are back!

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FITNESSMONSTER8 5/7/2012 1:16PM

    Way to stay on track!!! emoticon

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NEWMOM20121 5/6/2012 5:10PM

    Very nice blog. Congratulations on the 5 lbs, that is great.

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RSANDBERG 5/6/2012 4:39PM

    So cool, indeed!

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LIFEWALK 5/6/2012 2:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEEGIRL50 5/6/2012 1:52PM

    emoticon on going back to what you know works for you. This is a very personal journey and it's good to keep in mind that it is "all about you."

String those days together. We want to see a redheaded streaker!!
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RUNNERRACHEL 5/6/2012 12:42PM

    Great job taking it one day at a time. It's pretty encouraging once you have that streak going. I have been motivated to keep my 10 min of exercise streak going. I usually want to do more....it is a great feeling. And it is much more manageable to think of what you are doing one day at a time.

emoticon on your 5 lb loss! That's emoticon

And congrats on reaching so many goals this week!

You're doing a great job!

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CHERYLSBUTT 5/6/2012 12:33PM

    WIshing you many consecutive days!!!

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Jinxing it!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

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Well, after my last post, I didn't last long. By Sunday, I was out of control. Ugh.

But Monday.

Monday.

Monday has been the start of

1. Drinking clear water
2. Less diet coke
3. Walking again (double walk today!)
4. More mindful eating

WOO HOO

It's been four days and I almost feel confident that I'm back.

To stay!

How are you ???

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNERRACHEL 5/4/2012 9:33AM

    emoticon Keep moving forward. You're going to meet these goals. If you aren't perfect, it's ok. We all slip up. Progress not perfection. You can do it!

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THETURTLEBEAR 5/4/2012 9:02AM

    emoticon

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ADAM2298 5/4/2012 1:34AM

    Never doubted you for a minute. Keep it up.

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ANHELIC 5/3/2012 11:11PM

    Remember baby steps lead to big successes. emoticon

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SERENEART 5/3/2012 11:02PM

    You can do this! Remember, progress not perfection. emoticon

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RSANDBERG 5/3/2012 10:58PM

    Hip, Hip Hooray-You are back! Woo Hoo!
I too have had 4 successful days and am pretty pumped about that.
Let's do it!

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What to say?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

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I've wanted to write this blog a half dozen...a dozen times over the last month or so. Most days I wake up and think about it.

You know the post: I've fallen but I'm back!

Except

I keep falling.

Most of the bad habits that caused me to overeat are back. I've stopped doing the things (they feel impossible...walk?...not eat everything I want....blog??....eat healthy?? etc) that helped me lose over 100 pounds.

I've regained to the point I have had to buy bigger clothes. My thighs touch again. My heart pounds. My feet are a bit swollen. I have an extra chin. Worse, the look in peoples faces...

I'm eating multiple meals again, multiple servings. Eating fast food (a LOT) and encouraging others to overeat and keep me company.

gosh, I've been on break and I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK and see the look....ugh

About a month ago, I recognized that I am eating to punish myself but I don't know why I'm feeling like I need to punish?

I also recognized that I could REFRAME my weight gain in a face saving motto...that my weight loss had slowed and by taking a breather and regaining some (SOME!) weight, I was making losing the last 100 pounds easier.

This thought makes me happy. That I'm falling but I can grab on to the edges and shimmy my way back up.

I'm writing this as the first thing this morning. I have NO IDEA (people who say "just don't eat" to lose weight have NO IDEA how powerful food is) if today is my new day, my new day 1.

I hope so. I'm here.

And how are you, my spark friends?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPER1124 4/22/2012 3:49AM

    I know how you feel struggling back after a few "lost" months. But I am trying to look at it as at least we're back. It's better than the alternative of never trying again.

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SERENEART 4/21/2012 6:38PM

    Welcome back! Sometimes we slip. Sometimes we slip a little other times, its a full backslide. Even though, things are kind of off track, remember you are farther than when you first started. I know how back sliding can feel so discouraging...Somedays I feel that more than others...but if I look at the big picture or look at it like I'm on spiral staircase looking down...I'm always farther than where I was. It may not be where I want it to be...but it is where I am at the moment.

Just take it slow, even baby steps. You will get there!

*hugs*

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DEEGIRL50 4/1/2012 12:26PM

    I hope you've found that hand hold or your foot landed on a solid rock. Hope is not lost. You can make a healthy You Turn! I'll be watching to see your beautiful red head poking out of the cave you fell into!
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RSANDBERG 3/31/2012 12:07PM

    Hey, I am so happy to see that you are back and reaching out. We are here to help brush you off, and get you back on track. It is not that you do not know what to do-you do. Look at all that you have accomplished before. Now it is time to take a deep breath, pull out all the weapons that are in your arsenal and begin again. No time to look back in regret, just start right now-this very moment. If you need to purge the cabinets, fridge, hidden stash-go for it. It will feel so great if you put it in the outside trash can and remove it from sight. Then, pull out your measuring tools, spoons, scales, etc and keep those in plain view. Then go to the grocery store and get some beautiful fresh foods-yummy fruits, delish veggies and lean meats. Stock your pantry with nutritious choices that will feed you well. Get your water cup out and begin to put some of these things in place. It will make you feel strong and encourage you. This is what you are after right now-go for it with gusto! Look back at old trackers and see what you ate before and get some "new ideas" from that, look at your fitness trackers and be encouraged and tell yourself that you will regain your health. You really can do this today and if you give yourself the gift of one healthy day, it will give you sweet encouragement and inspiration.
Looking forward to staying in touch.
Becky

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MENNOLY 3/28/2012 6:45AM

    Perhaps you need to go back to the beginning and restart the program. That might reconnect you to the exhilaration you felt when those pounds started to just melt off, Don't forget your old stand-bys to deal with cravings. Mine are sugarless gum and green tea. Give yourself permission to have a day off, but the next day you are back on track that will help deal with the feeling of deprivation. If fast food is your downfall, limit it to your day off. Otherwise have your fast food be a healthy sandwich from Subway. emoticon emoticon

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REDHEADMOM2U 3/27/2012 7:50PM

    Thank you all very much! I hope you all have experienced the....validation...joy...feeling of not being alone in a response to one of your thoughts.

I really appreciate it!

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TOPS-TORTOISE 3/26/2012 12:12PM

    Writing this blog is your first step in putting on the brakes and turning things around. Funny how those old eating habits just creep back in like that. You work so hard to develop healthier eating habits, but the old ones are always there, just below the surface, waiting to come back. Seems that if you let your guard down just a little bit the old habits move in and take over.

Push the bad habits back out. Think about the amazing progress that you've already made and hold onto that. Think about how much better you felt physically and mentally when you lost 100 pounds. Think about how many sizes you've lost already. Think about how hard you've worked toward your goal. You had the motivation and the momentum going to lose 100 pounds, you can find it again. Hang in there. Take it one day, or one meal at a time when you need to.

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FITNESSMONSTER8 3/26/2012 12:00PM

    I have been where you are. Just take it one day at a time, and little by little you will get there. emoticon emoticon

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IRISHBEANERGAL 3/26/2012 1:46AM

    hmmm... what to say? How about...

I'm here.

I haven't walked away.

I'm struggling.

Support needed.

- the people on this website are amazing. And they 'get' it - because they've lived it too.

So, welcome back - even though you never left! You just took a detour for awhile.

~Irish

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ANNECEK 3/25/2012 9:34PM

    I know the feeling, just treading water. It has taken me a month to lose a pound. Momentum has failed. I haven't given up but I have lost my "militant" edge.

Key words to live by, forgiveness. Moving through this time will make you stronger. Persistence to make the right choices. Start at the beginning, one healthy habit a day, then a week. Work on your streaks.

I need to take my own advice. I'm at 115 pounds lost and I need to lose 48 pounds. Maybe I need to start another time line. We will see.

Hope you get your mojo back. I look forward to seeing you on the boards.

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CALIKIKI 3/25/2012 9:07PM

    I think everyone with a goal in life has the same experience at one time or another.

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ADAM2298 3/25/2012 8:56PM

    So what, with bad habits! We all have fallen somewhere along the line. But you're back! One step at a time. Don't try to pick up where you left off. Start all over, one small step at a time. If it were easy, everyone in the world would be at their perfect best. But I don't see any of those people.
Look at all of the SparkPeople coming to help you with words of encouragement.So baby girl, pick yourself up and start off slow and stay in touch with your Spark buddies. We know what you are going through and we have been there ourselves. We have not given up on you, neither should you.

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SERENEART 3/25/2012 8:18PM

    emoticon Just keep trying! Every little bit counts.

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IMIN2GENES 3/25/2012 7:36PM

    Your taking a solid first step! Just remember, you've got us here to support and cheer you on your way. You CAN do it!
Chris
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THETURTLEBEAR 3/25/2012 7:19PM

    emoticon

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MTULLY 3/25/2012 3:52PM

    The important thing is that you are back and ready to hit the reset button. We have all had our fair share of missteps, but it is best to just learn from them and move on. Just don't give up!!! I think it helps to focus on reinstating one good habit at a time. You can do this!!!

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RUNNERRACHEL 3/25/2012 3:46PM

    Don't beat yourself up. Sometimes we have to hit the reset button and start with small, doable goals. Start small. You are not new at this but sometimes we have to renew our goals, remind ourselves of why we are here. I am constantly reassessing. Sometimes, I feel so unmotivated to work out. I was doing great for the first 2 months of this year and then March I got so lazy...but I am setting goals for April. Let's not be angry at ourselves for slowing down but look at this as a journey with many twists, turns, and sometimes we are doing great and it feels so easy and sometimes it's difficult just to do the basic things to stay on track. I know how it feels.

let's have a great day today. Remember, take it one day at a time. emoticon

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PATTIE441 3/25/2012 3:14PM

    Yes, baby steps, but you made the first one! Way to go!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROOTIHAUSMAN 3/25/2012 11:05AM

    Take one day at a time. I have gain a few back too. I have increased my exercise by doing boot camp and am gaining muscle but not losing weight. I know I have to measure everything again in order to make sure to lose those last seven pounds. I think you CAN do it by taking one day at a time and start small. A walk around your neighborhood or at work and stay away from fast food. It is so yucky for your beautiful body. I know that is easier said than done but I think today is the first day of the rest of your life so cherish each day and do your best so that you can live your life to the fullest each day! emoticon

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CARILOUIE 3/25/2012 9:12AM

    This is a wonderful first step.

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Enough!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

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So, I have a new computer, and couldn't figure out why I couldn't post, but now I found the "blocked pop up" button, so we are good!

But I'm not good.

I'm up over 20 pounds. i'm too scared to look at my charts and see the true details, but I know I maintained or gained/lost for a few months. The last few weeks I've gone off the deep end. Two dinners? Eating because it is there? Stress eating? Eating to punish myself? yep, done it all lately. Including hiding wrappers.

Christmas was fun. Overall great day. BUT for people who haven't seen me in a year, I got lots of "you look great". People who see me everyday averted their eyes...twenty pounds is enough of a change they know I've slipped.

I gave away all my bigger clothes. I have few things left that fit well.

Trying every day to have a day on plan. Some days I only make it to 9 am. What happened?????

Yesterday, I finished "Best Friends Forever" by J. Weiner. Summer light reading, but fun for now. One character had significantly slimmed down, and her aha moment was being stuck in a booth at a restaurant and thinking ENOUGH

Enough. I must chant it in my head every few minutes. I'm going to make that todays mantra and think about just getting through today...

Enough!

I hope all is well with you my friends!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONAMOM 2/27/2012 6:35PM

    ENOUGH!! I am with you!! We CAN and WILL do this!! I love the new profile picture!!

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RUNNERRACHEL 1/4/2012 2:48PM

    emoticon we all fall backwards but you start moving forward again!



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DEREKCSIMMONS 1/3/2012 2:35PM

    I will be stealing this too!

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JLPEASE 1/1/2012 4:50PM

    I could have written this. I'm back where I started weight wise. How come we put it back on so much faster than we lose it???
Here's to a new year and a new start for all of us!
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TEENY_BIKINI 12/31/2011 9:50PM

    Have a great New Year!

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ROCHELLE62 12/30/2011 4:59AM

    ENOUGH! works for me too. I haven't been losing but felt OK that I wasn't gaining. The week of Christmas turned that around. I'm hoping a lot of mine is water retention as I have had so much salty food. It is definitely time to get a better plan.

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LIFEWALK 12/29/2011 4:06PM

    Enuf is enuf! Yep, been there, understand that, so sweetie, deep breaths! maybe try not looking at a whole day, maybe just look at each meal and snack separately and practice having a good meal... when it's done, then when it's time for the snack, practice that... practice that water drinking stuff, enuf sleep and ways to soothe yourself... maybe music you like or a fun movie or something that makes you smile! As you practice, push thru the tuffer feelings, you'll get the hang of it again & look up & find yourself back on a roll again! You can so do this... repeat to yourself like the choo choo train pattern...

icandothis icandothis icandothis

then repeat 2 more times & say woohoo!

icandothis icandothis icandothis
icandothis icandothis icandothis
icandothis icandothis icandothis
Woohoo!!!


emoticonHang in! emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/29/2011 3:07PM

    Time to change. You can do it!

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HGSGUY 12/29/2011 1:06PM

    Great Mantra...2012, the year of ENOUGH!

I too have had some issues. we opened a bag of tortilla chips to have with a salad and some salsa. i ate 3/4 of the bag, no it wasn't a small bag. Then came the spritz cookies, my holiday nemesis, I ate so many I had to call Guinness to check on the world record for cookie eating (I didn't win)!

The important thing is you are still at SP! You are armed with knowledge and have set yourself up for success. Imagine if you had all your old "too big" clothes! It would be way too easy to just get them out! So maybe you saw this coming and got ready to get back in control!

Hope 2012 is your most successful!!

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DEEDAYE 12/29/2011 12:08PM

    ENOUGH! I like that.!
I am enough.
I have enough!
I've eaten enough!
I haven't exercised enough.
I'm in enough pain.
I've made enough excuses.
I've waited long enough!

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FITFABJENN 12/29/2011 10:43AM

    Enough...good mantra. You can definitely turn this around. Every healthy choice counts, so just begin one small step at a time. You can do this.

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MEGGUILLORY 12/29/2011 10:20AM

    I haven't done well either :( I've gained six pounds of that 15 that I take off and put on since school started.
I don't know why we do this to ourselves, oh how I wish I did, but the only thing we can do is pick ourselves up and get back on track. No matter what, we are all here for you. I love the way we all support eachother. We can do this!!! emoticon

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FITNESSMONSTER8 12/29/2011 9:25AM

    I have put on quite a few pounds this month also. Between vacation and the holidays I'm struggling with getting back on track. I like your new mantra ENOUGH! We can do this!!! It's never to late to turn things around!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/29/2011 9:25:59 AM

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IMIN2GENES 12/29/2011 9:22AM

    Enough... that's a good word to keep in mind. Sadly, I shared an experience with the character in the book except it was a chair. It was a chair with arms on it... I stood up and the chair came with me. How humiliating! Sadly though that wasn't quite enough for me yet. My Aha moment was when my endocrinologist pointed out that my blood tests were pointing to the fact that I was a walking heart attack and prediabetic. I have a 10 yo daughter. I want to see her grow up. That's been my AHA! I'm not perfect. I still slip. I get frustrated. I lost 40 pounds but have since stopped moving the scale. I'm not going to let that slow me down though!

If I can do this, you can too. I couldn't hardly walk across the street when I started last year and now I regularly walk 3 - 4 miles. It's a great feeling. If you listen carefully, you'll hear me cheering you on!
Chris
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