Friday, January 06, 2012
Yes! It is finally Friday! The weekend comes and we can relax, look back and consider our past week with a not so critical eye. ( I hope)
For me, this has been a good week and sometimes a not quite as good week.
It started with the long awaited for phone calls from possible employers. Over the last two months I have sent out about 500 resumes with no luck. I was just about to sign up for another travel job, when the phone started ringing. Two job interviews in one week and two follow up interviews scheduled, and both for jobs I would actually love to do. Imagine that! I was thrilled and I didn't celebrate with food. Two for one! Then came a third phone call for a job in MD with the Army. Again a job I wouldn't mind, but Aberdeen seems like a very expensive area to live. ( I looked) Even if the job doesn't pan out, I was happy to have gotten the interview. Then I finally managed to pick up some work in the local prison. Not the ideal job, but work is good, so I was happy. I didn't celebrate with food... Happier still... Today I am still in la la land over all of this and my faith is high that more is coming. Yeah!
Now for the not quite so good.
While I didn't celebrate with food, which is my normal there were some instances where I did sort of binge. Not on junk food, which again is my normal, but on regular food. I think this is because I let myself get really hungry while out at those interviews and while working last night and that I didn't plan well enough to take a snack with me, which I knew I would need doing a 12 hour shift.
I gained back a half pound, but it is only Friday and I still have some time to make this right.
No beating myself up for these things. I know that they will occasionally happen. I have now reminded myself that I will need the appropriate snacks to work 12 hour shifts and that I should carry some in my car for when I am on the road and can't step away to eat.
Wow, in retrospect it was a good week all the way around.
Have a great Friday
Stay in Love
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Well, yesterday wasn't as good an eating day as I had hoped. I hit Mcdonalds for lunch because I was out running errands and was really hungry. Then I had some ( 4 I think) fresh baked cookies my sister made. I sampled her homemade dip with a few taco chips and dinner was a huge grilled steak and a salad. Now even though that is not great there are good points. At Mcdonalds I only bought a small regular hamburger and a small fries, I only had 4 cookies, and oops forgot, a soft pretzel, only had a couple of teaspoons of the dip and about 5 chips ( luckily they were stale, lol) and I did eat my salad and steak. Here is the deal. Usually I would be crucifying myself over this. OMG! look at all I ate yesterday, but I still lost 3 pounds this week and I am back on the horse this morning. I feel pretty good about the weight loss and I feel pretty good about not eating all the cookies, chips, pretzels, a quarter pounder , a supersized fry and about stopping after dinner. So no matter what I ate yesterday, all in all it has been a good week and it shows.
Can I practice the self love I wrote about yesterday? Yep, so far so good.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Well I made it through Jan 1, without doing to much damage to the strides I had made the previous week. I am very happy about that. No beating myself up over a very yummy chocolate brownie, ( it really was good) and 10 home made hot wings. My normal pace would have been to eat the entire brownie ( I mean the whole 8x8 pan full) and about 30 hot wings so I feel it was a good day. This is a new beginning and I am starting it out with a new theme; a theme that I don't use often in my life.
The theme for this year is LOVE! Yes Love, now don't get me wrong, I am a very loving person. I love my family, I love my pets, I love my friends, I love the area where my sister lives and sometimes I love my job. The area where I am not so loving is myself. I am almost always mean, nasty, viscous, rude and abusive to myself. I expect way more of myself then I do anyone I know or meet. I verbally abuse myself when I don't meet my own expectations. I continually punish myself for real or imagined crimes. I don't need any enemies, I am my own worst enemy. Over this holiday I sat down to try to figure out exactly why this is. Research I have read says we often hear the voices of the past in our heads. These are the voices that insulted, hurt or criticized us while we were growing up. When we commit any infraction of our real or imagined code of conduct these voices kick in loud and clear to tell us we screwed up. I used to think that voice was an old parental voice, or perhaps the kids at school who hurt and insulted me, then I thought perhaps it was the voice of my very critical ex-husband; now I realize it doesn't matter whose voice it is because it is wrong. Ok, I admit, when I was a child the choices I made in my life were those my parents insisted I make. At school I did what was expected of me by the adults in my class. When I married I caved in and became a shadow because my husband wanted a quiet southern girl, but now I am single and mature enough to realize that those voices of the past only have the power I give them. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said " No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. " I am taking back any permission I gave that allowed me to be hurt, insulted, belittled, made to feel stupid, weak, lazy or inferior. I am an adult and the responsibility for my life is completely in my hands, as is what goes into my mouth and body. 2012 is the year where I once again take back my power and become responsible for my own actions, thoughts , words and beliefs.
2012 is the year I will stop treating myself like a person who doesn't matter to anyone, because I matter, to my friends, family, patients, pets and above all to myself.
So this is my second day of this new beginning. The day I start loving myself.
Join me for the new year; Practice Self Love....
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Wow: 2012 came in with a bang all around the world offering us all a new opportunity to make our lives better in ways we really want to. The new year always brings us hope for a better future. Have you ever stopped to wonder why that is? I personally believe that the end of the old year represents an opportunity to shed our lives of all of the mistakes or bad choices we made that year. Did we spend to much money? Well a new year will give us the chance to take a clear look at our finances and work toward putting them in order. Did we gain weight? With the coming of the new year, we subconsciously understand that we have an empty slate on which to write and we can let go of the old attitudes that caused the weight gain and adopt a new one that allows us to make healthier choices. Is this not something we would do anyway? Perhaps, but I have found that I get stuck in a rut. I start down the road to a bad habit and after a while it becomes just that, a habit, and I no longer pay attention to it. The ball falling in Times Square is a visual reminder to me and everyone that we need to stop and pay attention. And it works. All of the people I was working with last night, stopped what they were doing long enough to watch that ball drop. When it hits bottom, we all breath a collective sigh of relief. Whew, a year of bad choices gone and a chance to start fresh beginning. I read SP articles yesterday on Resolutions and found them to be enlightening. So this new year I do not really have resolutions, I have intentions. I intend to have a better outlook on life. I will do this by paying attention to the negative thoughts that jump around in my head, catching them when I can and countering them and forgiving myself when I can't catch and counter them. I intend to love and treat myself like I love and treat others in my life. I will do this by not being so critical of everything I think, do or say. I will do this by allowing myself to be tired, sore, hurt or upset and by taking the time I need to rest and rejuvenate. I will do this by reminding myself that I am above all Human and I make mistakes, just like everyone else and they are not the end of the world. I intend to eat fruit and Veggies daily (something I don't do now). I will do this by buying fresh fruits and Veggies and making a salad at least 4 days a week. And lastly, I intend to move forward in a positive manner, knowing that sometimes I will take 2 steps forward and one step back, sometimes I will veer and take a side road on the way to my goals and sometimes I will stop to rest, but no matter what I WILL NOT QUIT!!
HAPPY 2012, MAY YOU MOVE FORWARD IN LOVE.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
If you noticed I hadn't written anything in over a week, there was a good reason. I have been traveling. I have left the sunny state of Florida for the more sunny state of Arizona. It was a long hot drive. The first thing that struck me about traveling such a distance by car and on limited funds was the limited food choices availabe. As much as I don't like to Mickey D's and BK became my staples. Well if you don't count the pizza one night on the trip. Yes I could have had salads at all of these places, but I tend not to stop to eat when trying to get from point a to point b, so a salad is a bit difficult to eat with one hand on the wheel. I arrived in Arizona after a almost 4 day drive (could have done it in less time, but had a car top luggage carrier on and was afraid I'd lose it.) only to be put into a room with no kitchen. Things always look better after some sleep and so I managed to get that taken care of in the am. However, after living on junk food for a week, I am finding it difficult to go back to normal eating. I move into my new temporary residence today and so hopefully will get back on track. I have already started by logging into sparkpeople and posting my breakfast. This area is beautiful and I see no reason not to get out and explore it on foot. Will keep you posted.
Have a great day/
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