REALLYGOTTALOSE   5,392
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Frustrated..

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

ok... so im going to complain and whine and moan a bit ... here it goes.... well first off... i have lost 12 lbs since i have rededicated myself to better eatting and as yall know.. it takes a lot of effort and dedication to do so.. plan meals, prepare them, decide not to deviate from the planned meal even though a bag of chips and dip are offered to you and there is cake in the break room.. try to move more... walk to school to get kids instead of drive.. even though its hot out and well the car has ac... ok.. ok.. yall know what it takes.. but anyway back to complaining.. Not one person has noticed the 12 lbs .. not one.. not my mom.. my hubby.. no one.. i know, i know.. im doing it to get healthly and not for attention but attention was one of those great side effects.. my hubby even knows im trying to lose .. he sees me check calories.. sees me exercise.. sees me chose to walk instead of drive.. he even sees me on spark...but nope hasnt noticed a change....ok.. it gets worse... my sister inlaw came by my house yesterday to visit, and in the course of our conversation she tells me that i need to try to lose some weight, watch what i eat and try to exercise.. i mean , first off she has no right to tell me that but to make matters worse .. she hadnt noticed i had been trying ... i didnt even have it in me to tell her i had been trying cause what was the point if she hadnt noticed on her own anyway ?!?! she probably would have thought i was lying to get her to shut up.. well anyway.. thats all for my complaining.. I will work hard to stick to my plan and know that if i do.. there will come a point that they cant help but notice...

ty for listening to me vent.. i had to just get it out to.. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PJNSGRL78 10/8/2013 4:29AM

    Honestly use that as motivation. Don't let their negativeness get to you. I have lost nearly 40 and people are just now starting to notice. I think it was about 30 when my hubby started. My guess is she has something negative in her life that is bothering her. Instead of her dealing with it she thought it would be better to point the finger at you. You WILL do it! Then how jealous will they be emoticon Yes you should be doing it to be healthier especially for your girls BUT there isn't anything wrong with wanting to show people you CAN do it. A lot of people seem to think all bigger girls do is sit on their bums and eat. We will do the work and we will show them. If you need a support buddy let me know! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/5/2013 7:04PM

    Do YOU notice the change? Your clothes aren't so tight? A bit easier to breathe? Let me tell you, NO ONE noticed I'd lost an ounce until 40 were gone. NO JOKE! THAT is NOT a reason to trough in the towel! You are doing this to change your life, and the compliments will come, I promise you. I understand the frustration, but it will be worth it, HONEST!

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23KAIYA 9/4/2013 3:56PM

    Vent away! People that pay attention and see you for who you are should notice 12lbs, when I still have over 100 to lose people noticed. Sometimes when people have seen a loved one struggle with ups and downs they hesitate to say anything, maybe feel like they are pointing out a negative in order to highlight a positive and so they avoid saying anything.
Venting is perfectly fine, keep at your hard work and vent all you need!

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BRADMILL2922 9/4/2013 3:38AM

    Don't worry about it. It takes time for people to notice and say things but if you keep pushing and don't give up, you will get comments!

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DETRMND2LOSE 9/3/2013 2:22PM

    Keep pushing! I didn't get any comments until I was over the 20lb mark. It was so frustrating, expecially from those closest to me, but eventually they noticed.
Keep with it!!
emoticon

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REALLYGOTTALOSE 9/3/2013 11:39AM

    @ Rebecca ... To fill in the blank for u .. I would have said ( to sil).. What are you doing about ur noseyness ?? ...lol

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REALLYGOTTALOSE 9/3/2013 11:37AM

    Thank both of you for ur encouragement :)... I just came across this pin on Pinterest that says.. It take 4 weeks for you to notice the change 8 weeks for family and friends and 12 weeks for the rest of the world...

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REBECCAMA 9/3/2013 11:06AM

  Sorry. Should I break it to you? No one except you is going to notice 10 pounds. I think people noticed when I lost 20 pounds, but not one word at the 10 pound mark. So.. keep up the good work!!!

As for me, I lost it and put it back so I'm still struggling.

You did better than I would have with the sister-in-law. I probably would have told her about the 12 pounds, and I wouldn't have been nice about it. I would have said something like "Well you must be blind because I have lost weight. I'm doing great thank you! Now let's see about you? What are you doing about your weight/stress level/whatever..."

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GINNABOOTS 9/3/2013 11:05AM

    You keep pushing, they will notice. It took me about 20 pounds before anyone made comments. You have the right mind set. Doing it for your health and well-being. emoticon emoticon emoticon on the 12 pound weight loss.

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What Day is today???

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

it all started the thursday before last... we had just come back from dinner and my 6 year old complained of nausea. I thought she just ate too much, or the sweet tea got to her, or even that the food didnt settle well with her. She had a fitful sleep, but never threw up. In the morning i woke her up to take my oldest to school and when she started walking, she said it hurt to walk and that there was a pain in her right lower side, and that is where it began. I dropped my oldest off at school and off to Texas Childrens Hosp. we went. I was nervous and worried and to be honest, i had no idea where that hosptial was, i had to follow directions my husband gave me over the phone. Finally, like after forever and a lifetime we get there. She goes straight to triage and she looks fine. They give us a room in the er and a resident doctor takes a look at her. Makes her jump up and down, walk from one place to another, presses her belly and all that other good stuff.. She says she is sure its not appendicitis but that the head er doctor would be in soon to confirm... Finally that doctor came in made my baby repeat it all then said he was pretty sure its not appendicitis but they will do a quick ultrasound to confirm.. in the meantime, im wondering why i got so worried in the first place cause my baby is no longer hurting.. she is happy to jump for the doctors, was walking for them like she was power walking, and was in a great mood... finally we go down to get the ultrasound.. the tech is taking the pics she needs then asked me if she was on any pain med. i tell her no and the she tells me she must have a high tolerance for pain.. that was alarm number one going off in my head.. then she tells me that she needs to confirm with the radiologist which pics she was suppose to take.. alarm number 2 ( since the order she had would tell her that) .. alarm number 3 is when the radiologist comes in the room.. i just knew that wasnt right.. then he confirms it.. she has appendicitis.. room was spinning.. heart was pounding and i look over and my kid is asking for stickers like this is just another day.. Things were slow after that.. er doctor confirmed diagnosis.. they said words emergency surgery.. admitting her.. no eating or drinking.. It is so hard to tell your child that she will need to have surgery.. all i could come up with is.. " Baby there is a part in your stomach that is broken and the doctors will have to get it out" .. then without much warning, they call her in for surgery... she looked fine.. she was afraid she would wake up during the surgery .. really afraid of that.. she told the surgery nurse that before they start they need to ask her a question.. if she doesnt answer then she is asleep and if she does answer dont start yet cause she is still awake.. the nurse promised to do just that and the anesthesiologist came in and talked to her about how his whole job is to keep her alseep and how he is good at his job... she looked comforted by the words... then they took her.. it was so heart breaking to see her go... but and hour later all was well and she did just fine they said.. it hadnt ruptured and we could see her... She woke up enough to eat a popsicle then slept the rest of the night. In the morning she was like a rabbit.. ready to hop out of bed. We went to the hosp. floor dedicated for recreation for the kids.. we did puzzles, she got her nails done and her hair done. She was happy and healthy.. she went home that day.. about 16 hours after the surgery.. Fast forward to monday ( three days after surgery) .. i was taking a shower and she shows up with something in her hand.. it was the sterie strips they put to close her incision in her belly button.. she had pulled them out..... even though we had talked about how we werent going to touch them.. I call surgeon.. he says its fine.. i tell him i see drainage and some red flesh.. he says its normal.. i ask can i send him a pic.. he gets frustrated.. he saids all is fine.. i dont believe him so make appointment with her pediatrian for next day.. ped. sends me to er .. 5 hours later i find out the surgeon was right.. all is fine.. thursday night she starts to complain that it hurts when she pees.. off to the doctor we go on friday.. Antibiotics have irritated her but other than that .. she is well ... She missed a whole week of school.. and this weekend we worked on the homework .. took her to see a movie, church on sunday and then her first day back yesterday. Today is the first day in over a week i feel like i can breathe.. The hardest part for me is not crying and falling apart like i wanted to cause her eyes were always on me, Looking to see if tis all ok, looking to see if she should be worried about it all.. So i really need a good cry .. but goodness who has the time? Cant right now.. im at work.. cant at home.. there is so much to get done... so it will have to wait... till it cant wait no longer or the feeling passes.. What a week !!! What day is today ?????

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCAMA 2/15/2013 8:07AM

  Well good for you for getting her in. I'm sure the symptoms of appendicitis is something I would definitely miss!

I had to spend a week with my daughter in Pediatric ICU when she was 14 months old though, and I know how hard that stuff can be. I think it is harder on the parents than the child sometimes.

glad she is feeling better.

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ROCHELLE62 2/13/2013 12:19AM

    she will recover faster than you will. it's absolutely terrifying to send your kid into surgery. she must have had excellent care.

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ALYTH3CAT 2/12/2013 10:47AM

    That is horrible! What a rough week! I remember when i received a phone call at work that my little baby sister was being admitted to the ER because she had had an allergic reaction to a cat and they'd have to do surgery to open her airways. It was beyond frightening and there were no words that could make me feel better about watching someone so small and still be so helpless to make them better yourself. I'm glad that your daughter made it through everything safe and sound. She seems like a tough little girl! She gets her strength from somewhere and I'm betting it's you. :)

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hi

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

so.. as it seems.. while i was on my way to losing weight and getting healthy.. i lost my way.. i got side tracked and lost and am just now trying to find my way back ... thing is... the way to lose weight is a tough climb.. it seems its all up hill .. and the way im going now.. a slippery slope.. so easy to go down ... but im trying to get back on track and back to exercising and hoping that since the holidays are past me and temption wont be at every corner i can fix this. Im actually terrifed of the scale.. can u believe that? it makes no sense... i mean.. whether i get on the scale or not.. im still the same size but i cant bring myself to get on it.. oh well just another obsticle i will have to overcome .. and im sure i can do it... im not alone.. i tell myself all the time.. im not alone.. i can always come here .. to people who understand.. WEll wish me luck and send me strength :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTDUCKY1405 1/11/2012 12:49PM

    Your steps back will become shorter and closer together as your progress in the journey! All that matters, is that you keep coming back!

Take care!

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23KAIYA 1/10/2012 7:18PM

    emoticon
Maybe cleats will help?
Sorry, that was my attempt at making you smile :)
I've been there, multiple times this time around, but as long as you don't throw that towel in completely you're doing good. Baby steps and if losing is to hard, make a goal to maintain for a couple weeks then up the exercise (time and intensity)and decrease calories. Decreasing stress and getting quality rest will help too, more than I can tell in mere words!

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OAKSHAVEN 1/10/2012 3:25PM

    I'm in the same place, friend, and we are BOTH going to lick this!! Let's check in with each other each day and see how we are doing for the next week or so. Maybe that will stimulate both of us to get back on track. I'm thinking of you and struggling right along with you. emoticon the emoticon

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LESALICIOUS26 1/10/2012 2:20PM

    You surely not alone. We all go through some up and down slope, but the great thing is you have noticed it and ready to get back on track. That's a start a great accomplishment. I wish you the best of luck on your weight lost. :) emoticon

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FLORIDAJOE1 1/10/2012 10:22AM

    Good Morning Pat,
You are certainly not alone. That's what you gotta love about SparkPeople.
I respond to only one blog per day (to get a sparkpoint) and you would be surprised how many entries I see that are much like yours. People get discouraged, rue the holiday binge, don't think they'll ever make it.
So much is up to you but as a SparkPeople community we owe it to you send as much encouragement your way as possible. So here goes:
-Everything you've eaten up to this point is water under the bridge. No amount of guilt, regret, depression, etc. will take away the calories you've already swallowed. So forget about it. The good news is that everything you're going to eat in the future is totally under your control.
-Don't focus on what you can't eat. Heaven knows we all miss large slabs of cheesecake, country-fried whatever w/ gravy, etc. but there are so many wonderful things that we can eat - just check out the SparkRecipes (perhaps start a blog asking people what their favorites are and then give them a try)
-Excellent news that you don't have the diabetes and other obesity-related diseases. Losing the weight now will throw a permanent barrier between you and those diseases.
-Last of all (one I told my Mom the other day): The biggest favor you can do for your family is to stay healthy now and into your old age.
I hope this helps and may God bless your efforts with a new freedom to eat right.

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WELLNESSME09 1/10/2012 10:16AM

    You know you have to do this for YOU! take it one step at a time. Start with the minutes you can put in everyday and work your way up from there.
Wishing you great success towards your goals to better health and fit you!!! emoticon emoticon

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Im on a rollercoaster ride..

Monday, October 31, 2011

Im so frustrated with myself... i really do feel like im on a roller coaster ride... one day im up.. and i feel great and im dedicated to this journey im on .. the next day im falling and i feel as if ive inhailed my fridge before even my first cup of coffee.... why cant i just stay commited? why cant i care about myself as much as i care about others and their feelings? and to make it worse.. its not even a day to day thing.. i mean i could be doing great all day... and then boom.... night time comes and all sensible ways of thinking about food are out the window... i feel like fussing at myself the way i would fuss at my kids when they keep coming in and out the back door.. "In or out.. pick one!!!!!!! " My mind says Im in.. im dedicated.. but just like my kids... as soon as i say im in, im dedicated... i find myself sneaking out the door again... grrrrrrr... well anyway.. today is an in day.. and im trying my best to keep it that way :) Wish me luck and well if u pray... pray for me... pray for strength to stay dedicated ... Thank You :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDGISME 1/1/2012 2:29PM

    I agree with all of our emoticon!! Just keep going on the road to a better health and lower weight. It will get done! It's all baby steps and bunny hops along the way...you, like all of us, can and will do it. Try to be less critical/judgemental of yourself, those are the worst kind to create. Baby steps!!

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JAMAISCONTENTE 12/15/2011 12:49PM

    Hey there. How have you been? I hope you're feeling better. Just wanted to wish you happy holidays.
We've all been there with the rollercoaster. Hell, I feel that way right now! *hugs*

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JUSTDUCKY1405 11/20/2011 9:43PM

    I hear ya. Some days... woohoo.. life rocks. The next... almost like why bother.

But, every step in the right direction is worth taking... so, I am glad I am on this journey... perfect or not.

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ROCHELLE62 11/3/2011 11:14PM

    I have "triggers" that I think most of us share--frustration, fatigue, boredom, hormones, and a few other obvious ones. I really believe that you identify, you learn and you improve all by choice and we are making different choices now. I have had a couple of evenings that I will feel the munchies coming on and so far my two best option seem to be a long bath or going to bed. You will find a way, just keep hammering at it.

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OAKSHAVEN 10/31/2011 9:03PM

    If this was easy, all of us would be slim and svelte, and would never have met each other. :) This isn't about being perfect, it's about trying, about getting up each time we fall down and trying again, just like when we were learning to walk. That was hard, too, but all of us did it. You are going to do this, too. I'm lighting a candle for you tonight. Let its light shine over you and warm you. emoticon

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CULAINA 10/31/2011 5:18PM

    You are supporting your family and helping them. Who is supporting you and helping you keep on track? Keep trying x

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23KAIYA 10/31/2011 2:04PM

    It's a journey and a difficult one. As long as you keep getting back up when you fall, you'll be okay, fall 9 times, rise 10.
I'm the same way but the further I come the easier it is to not fall.

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RHONDASCRAPS 10/31/2011 12:57PM

    You're doing so great--just keep chugging along! I find myself feeling that way as well---those cookies I baked yesterday have been torturing me relentlessly--so far I've resisted but who knows if I'll still be able to say that by tonight.

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It was a big step for me...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Posting my picture on here was a big step for me.. a huge step.. like a step that took me months to take. I saw everyone else with their pics posted and i even saw other sparkers say that they were gonna take friends off their list if they didnt have a picture of them posted .. they said they couldnt feel connected to someone they have never seen.. and well i just lost their friendship cause i could bring myself to post a picture of myself.. Im not a picture taker .. thats why my "before" pic sucks so bad... i had to find one.. and i had to look hard for that pic too.. and as far as the picture of me now.. i had to take the picture especially for posting on spark.. i guess its just because i hated how i looked so much that i actually immediatly hated all pics of me and were ashamed of them .. and even after i started try to take better care of myself i couldnt let that hate go.... a self hate u could say. But lately im not hating what i see in the mirror .. im liking that girl/ woman.. shes pretty cool and funny and not so bad looking after all.. so i took the step and took a pic .. and i didnt hate it.. well i didnt love it but there was no hate there.. and i thought to myself.. im on sparks to get better .. to face my fears .. to confront my failures and my sucesses.. so i had to post a pic :) .. and well to me.. posting my pic was a big move forward for me.. Im proud of myself for taking this step and facing it head on.. it took a few months but i got there :) Thank you for your nice comments about my pic :) i appreciate and needed them :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTDUCKY1405 10/30/2011 11:38PM

    Way to go! I can understand how that would be a huge step for you. You look great!

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RHONDASCRAPS 10/27/2011 11:46AM

    GOOD FOR YOU!!! I love your picture and I totally empathize with you. For YEARS I wouldn't let anybody take my picture...I was too fat and too ugly. Well I still feel that way a lot but I'm getting there. I haven't gotten up the courage yet to post a full body picture--I'm not use to looking at that myself yet. But when I start showing some progress I hope I will be able to upload--we'll see.


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WILDFIREKRISTIN 10/27/2011 1:22AM

    Bravo beautiful lady! I am glad you are here and you are facing all your fears. You are moving mountains and that means you are moving towards a healthy life change!

Wahoooooooooooo!

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CULAINA 10/26/2011 7:47PM

    Being brave rocks, beautiful lady x

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REBECCAMA 10/26/2011 7:36AM

  It took me a year before I could post a picture of myself on Spark. Congratulations on taking that big step. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REALLYGOTTALOSE 10/26/2011 12:48AM

    Rochellle ... I haven't either, I'm starting with spark, facebook is next...

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ROCHELLE62 10/25/2011 11:23PM

    Totally understand. I finally put one on Spark, but still haven't put one on facebook.


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MRS_BRENDA_P 10/25/2011 8:13PM

    Way to go on taking a step in conquering a hurdle. I love your picture and I think you look great!

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23KAIYA 10/25/2011 7:28PM

    emoticon
You're beautiful, and I'm glad you're more comfortable than you where. I have the same issue, perhaps a little worse (threatened to quit my job over a commercial they wanted me in, shades pulled so I don't see my reflection in the window), it's inspiring to see a fellow 'sparker' making progress. Thank you!

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