Tuesday, November 05, 2013
I had a temporary NSV the other day. My arms started feeling like they were getting more toned. It was encouraging. Checked this morning and theyíre back to jiggly. ^_^ I missed my workouts for 3 days due to travelling and I was like OMG. I have PCOS and I know itís harder for me to lose weight but come on!
Sigh. Iím trying to not let it get me down though. At least I didnít gain weight. I know I have to be consistent. I have to keep trying. Have toÖÖ. Itíll be worse if I give up. Iím not losing weight. I havenít been on the scale in about a month and my clothes fit the same. My fitness level has increased though; guess I do have a NSV after all. ^_^ Iíve been doing Insanity. What was supposed to take me 1 month has taken me 2. O well. I did the fitness test yesterday and at least I have done better than the last fit test. I press on.
With PCOS itís so much harder to lose weight and I refuse to give up. I started doing 20 squats and triceps dips when I go to the bathroom at work. As I get home also I work out. I ordered some supplements to see if they will help me to manage my PCOS. The hormonal adult acne & weight are my biggest issues.
I need to work on dealing with visits from my mother & boyfriend from the US (I live in Jamaica). When theyíre around, my schedule (especially my sleep) gets thrown off. Iím not blaming them of course. Just need to work on it. My sleep is what gets messed up the most and once thatís thrown off, working out after a long day at work is very hard. Getting up to work out before I go to work is also difficult. Nothing worth having is easy right? So I have to work on it.
I know that weight loss/a healthier lifestyle starts in the mind. Itís all about motivation and will power and that starts in the mind. So Iíve started to work on that- to see what my biggest life issues are and to work on being more positive. More importantly, Iíve been working on loving myself the most, as I am. Iíve started journaling as well. I find it helps. I also get daily articles from a site called www.tinybuddha.com and the articles really and truly help.
As Iíve blogged before Iíve dubbed this year as ďmy turning 30 crisisĒ. My birthday is on November 21 and I must say I am happy I had the ďcrisisĒ. It forced me to examine a lot of things and especially relationships in my life. Iíve learnt a few things, some of which I will share: I ended a 5 year relationship that I realized I settled for too many things, to see who really are my friends, who the users are, who add nothing positive to my life, to let go of certain issues and trust that they will play out how they might, to realize that I am a fabulous individual.
I lost the most important person and the one I loved the most in my life, my grandma, and I feel like I canít trust anyone as implicitly as I did her. On a positive note though I have a new boyfriend; well heís an ex from 7 years ago. We broke up because mostly due to the distance, he migrated to the US and none of us could afford or was able to travel (in my case I didnít have a US visa at the time). I never stopped loving him though. I suppressed my feelings but we remained friends and spoke to each other every now and then. Itís the best thing that has happened to me this year. God must have thought we werenít ready for each other and split us up so that when we did get back together that I would appreciate more the man and person that he is. I call him my Extraordinary Gentleman. ^_^.
I started this blog entry on a sad note but now I am feeling happier. In writing about the negatives Iíve realized I have so many more positives. ^_^
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