RAYNAC3   161,659
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
RAYNAC3's Recent Blog Entries

Blah Day

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The calendar may say Wednesday, but it's been more of a Blah Day for me. I blame work. Feeling both blah and anxious and confused and disinterested and other contrary emotions. Not quite able to fully embrace this change that's happening. Trying to, but too distracted with trying to take care of so many things at one time that I don't know how to do and getting mixed signals as to when to go where for the plethora of answers I need. I feel like no matter what I do, it's not good enough. I'm making more mistakes and that's just not a good thing - especially if folks are looking to find fault in my work. Not trying to give them examples!

Trying to stay positive, but struggling right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELTONWALKER67 5/17/2012 9:50PM

    Stay Strong! Tomorrow will be better! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYSPARKLER 5/17/2012 9:02AM

    emoticon
Good luck today. I'll be thinking of you.
Hang on, the weekend's coming!

Report Inappropriate Comment


A Better Bad

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

There are many times when I don't eat right. But the good news within the bad is that on those occasions, my food choices are better than they used to be and my portion sizes are smaller than they once were -- and I'm not going back nearly as many times (for seconds and what not) as I used to.

Baby steps...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSPARKLER 5/15/2012 11:17PM

    Thanks for helping me see these small victories. It is easy to think negative thoughts when I am not 'perfect'. So much nicer to realize how much better the choices are than they used to be!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMABUGAZ 5/15/2012 11:12PM

    :-)

~ Faith

Report Inappropriate Comment


One of those days...

Monday, May 14, 2012

So, I'm trying to blog more and I have a sneaking suspicion a recurring topic will be my job. Today was one of those days. I used to really, really like my job - until earlier October - when the team's roster changed...for the worse. But I'm not gonna go into that now.

We have a lot of growth at my job (it's true!) and there have been recent re-org-type changes. These changes include, but are not limited to a new manager with limited knowledge of the overall picture and new duties for me that 1) I didn't ask for and 2) I'm not being compensated for. The latter is not so much an issue for me.

Here's my issue with today. I got reprimanded for doing what was right a time before, but it was wrong today. There's enough that's confusing these days without having the same thing be right one time, then wrong the next. I don't get it. I could ramble on, but I'll save that for another time. Heavy sigh.

I do recognize I am fortunate with my employment, as there are many not working who would like to be. Out of the things I have to complain about, I'm thankful to have a job on that list - even when it drives me crazy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSPARKLER 5/15/2012 11:10PM

    I hear you. You try to do the right thing and find out it is no longer correct? So sorry and how frustrating. My husband got a new boss, who reorganized the department and my husband's position was discontinued :(


Report Inappropriate Comment
KATEM200 5/14/2012 11:24PM

  Maybe we could start a club for people who got a new manager they didn't ask for during a re-org. I really, really... REALLY get everything you said. I know I have a "good job" but I still dread working each day. But I've decided not to let it keep impacting my health the way that it has for the past few years. I WILL make time for exercise and I WON'T stress eat junk food all day. Hang in there and we can get through the crazy workdays to enjoy the rest of life.

Comment edited on: 5/14/2012 11:25:13 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUM48 5/14/2012 10:14PM

    You maybe thankful you have a job...just a suggestion maybe being thankful for this job is not what you should be doing...being thankful that you are who you are is better thing to be thankful for.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Not too painful this time

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Since losing my Mother many years ago and not being a Mother myself, Mother's Day has not been a day of high celebration for me. I've gone through a range of emotions on Mother's Days past. Not all Mother's are good ones - true enough. However, there are many of us who don't have the privilege of having a "bad" Mother physically here to complain about. Heavy sigh. I miss my Mom so. I wish she could see me at this point in my life and I really wish I could have conversations with her. More sighing.

All in all, this year was not too painful. It was not hard wishing other Mom's a Happy Mother's Day. We wouldn't be here without them!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMABUGAZ 5/14/2012 12:54AM

    Thanks for your Mother's Day blog. I lost my mom about 14 years ago to cancer, when she was age 62. I am very grateful that I was able to enjoy, experience and appreciate my mother during my growing up years. And, I am grateful that my children were old enough when she died that they can remember her.

But, I also miss my mother on Mother's Day, and through-out the year. I often miss her even more when I am unable to share special events with her (such as my children's graduations, my daughter's wedding, etc) than I do on special occasions/holidays.

I'm glad, RAYNAC, that you were able to experience your 2012 Mother's Day without too much pain.

~ Faith

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWAN47 5/14/2012 12:02AM

    I miss having my mom here too! Not just on Mother's Day but throughout the year. I miss those conversations and sharing. She loved my children so much. I'm blessed with being a mom and having 2 wonderful children and 4 wonderful grandchildren. I'm sorry you don't have your mom to share the day with. I know it's hard. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Saying it makes it "Official" right?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

I've been teetering around the 40 pound weight loss mark for a few weeks, but hesitated changing my photo icon thingy from 30 pounds lost to 40. In the past, my weight has fluctuated so much that the week I "technically" had the 40+ pound weight loss, the following week, I would gain weight back and no longer be in the club. Well, it has been a few weeks and I have consistently maintained 40+ pounds of weight loss. (Yay me!!) and OFFICIALLY changed my photo to 40 pounds lost.

I feel really good about this. Something else that's made me feel pretty darn good was looking at my weight loss goal tracker. I'm at my halfway point to my goal. When did that happen?!?!?! It feels like the weight is taking absolutely forever to come off, but then days like today happen when I realize I've lost and kept 40+ pounds off for over three years. That part is impressive!! Slow and steady wins the race, right?

And at this pace, I'm enjoying my progress. I'm not streaking through different sizes in such a fast blur I don't remember what it's like to be the next size down. I'm a bit frugal and if I'm investing in a new wardrobe, I'd like to enjoy it for a little while before I have to save up for and invest in the next size down.

I'm starting to get compliments on my looks again (which is a good and bad thing for me -- we all have our issues...). This next statement is from other peoples' comments, not mine: they imply I could model. I haven't heard stuff like that in decades. Decades!! Since we're our own worst critic, I never fully believed such a statement, but it's nice to hear again. When I see me in pictures these days, I no longer am repulsed, or audibly react like I used to. This is very good! Sometimes, I even find me almost nice looking. That's as close to a compliment as I can give me, today. I'm still a work in progress.

Can't wait to see what I'll be thinking when I get even closer to that goal weight or when I hit the 50 pounds lost. We shall see!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBADEAU 5/13/2012 7:09PM

    Congratulations!! Eat those compliments up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMABUGAZ 5/13/2012 2:29PM

    :-)

~ Faith

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIFIFRIZZLE 5/13/2012 2:13AM

    Well done, you seem to be taking this all in your stride. What a great effort!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYSPARKLER 5/13/2012 1:28AM

    Yay! Congratulations! I always wait to see my weight stabilize before counting the loss. I am so happy for you. Yes, slow and steady does win the race!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOGSHOETAT 5/13/2012 1:09AM

    Congratulations! It's awesome that you made it to the halfway point and 40 pounds is amazing!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Last Page