Sunday, March 24, 2013
I was sooooo happy when I could accurately update my status and proudly change my icon to the Lost 40 Pounds icon. Right about now, that seems like a long time ago. I've gained 20 of those pounds back - most within a 5 month period. It seemed gradual -- yet constant or habitual.
I recognized the error of some of my ways: increased stress, less activity/exercise, taking in more calories, increased food portions, poorer food choices and did I mention the increased stress? On top of the increased stress, I had weight gain, which really does not help with one's self-esteem, no matter how one tries to spin it. I didn't want to exercise. I ate, didn't want to exercise after eating and was often mentally exhausted from the work day, plus full from having eaten. I didn't ALWAYS overeat, but I'd frequently go to bed on a full stomach (not like Thanksgiving full) and didn't always make the best food choices and definitely could have done better with my portion sizes.
I was in a funk. I recognize this. I recognized this at the time, but could/did not stop myself from decline. The whole time I continued to gain weight, I did not change from the Lost 40 Pounds icon. It gave the appearance to others that all was well. It looked good to have others be able to see this. I was great when it was true. But for someone who had some kind of motion from week to week on my sliding scale of progress to no motion for quarters at a time, it stopped feeling as good to have this false advertising promoting me.
Needless to say, it's been changed to reflect my current loss range. Back to 20 pounds lost. I'm still not highly motivated to lose weight again, yet. But I think I'm getting closer to not gaining anymore right now. Whew! If I'm not gonna lose, stop gaining. Ya know??
It's easy for me to be long-winded, but I'll sum part of this up to say there have been some changes that have happened in my life, both personal and professional of late. More professional. The thing is, the bottom line lies with me. Change will always be a part of my life. I need to get that work/life balance figured out no matter what it throws my way.
I'm not quite back at, "Let's go get'em!" mindset, but I wouldn't consider me in a funk anymore. I'm planning for success again -- now if I could get me to implement. . . Lol!! I'm a work in progress and I will get there, just not overnight.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I found out one of my cousin's passed away yesterday. Separate from the sadness of this for me (I am very glad for my cousin who is no longer suffering from illness...) it just brings to mind how human we all are. Our bodies are vessels and how often do I treat mine the way it should be treated? Not nearly as often as I should! There are a number of thoughts that flood the mind with that general concept.
I read somewhere of someone trying to have seven nights of doing right. I make excuses for not doing right 4 hours straight - and there are people, like my cousin, who won't have another opportunity to try to get another minute of right.
Reality is biting me right now.
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Today I treated myself to a massage. I hadn't had one in YEARS!! So long overdue. Very relaxing. I've already scheduled my next one...and am looking forward to it!!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I have been "off work" both yesterday and today, took them as "vacation days". Used them for an extended weekend out of town. Drove back in town last night. After actually getting back in town, made it home about two hours later (clearly I did not go straight home).
Before I left, the house was a bit of a mess, as I packed in a hurry. Didn't want to plop down in a mess, so I tried to pick up/organize a little bit before heading to bed, needed to check in with folks to let them know I made it back safely.
Then somebody (that would be me) got online and wanted to get caught up with e-mails and what not and IM-ed a friend until the wee hours and went to bed really late/early depending on how you look at it.
Got a text early this morning from a gal at work that they're moving my office today (the day I actually planned to get some rest) and I need to be all packed by 5pm today. (This move has been imminently pending for a little over a month and it's finally happening.) At that point, I hadn't gotten four hours of sleep yet. Did I mention this was the day I actually planned to get some rest? So, I made it into the office, just wanted to pack and go, but that didn't quite happen. At least there were no major catastrophes - I'll take the good news where I can when it comes to work, nowadays. After a couple of hours at work on my vacation day, I cut out of there.
I did manage to get a little bit of rest today, but it was no vacation. I'm looking forward to my next off day (Sunday - I'll be certain to be working on Saturday). No rest for the weary sometimes. Heavy sigh. I recognize I complain about work a bit, but I'm thankful for that privilege.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I seem to be a victim of that darned mind clutter again!
I realize this as I have the recurring theme in my head that I need to "be still." My mind is restless, not at peace. I'm not sure that there's too much on my mind or that I'm not thinking enough about things...the right things/the things I should be focused on. Either way, my mind is restless.
Perhaps if I was either better organized or meditated or I'm not even sure, I could either fit it all in and solve the world's problems (along with wearing that gold tiara like Wonder Woman...not sure what I'd do with that lasso or invisible airplane, though. Hmmm.)
I recently spent some time with some folks who "Just Do It" so to speak. Made me feel awfully lazy. There's sooooo much more I could get done in a day with better time management. There are some overachievers like that out there in the world. I've resisted being one of them for a long time. Not sure if I'm ready to turn that corner yet or not. Been a little too comfortable with a certain amount of restfulness. I think that sounds better than lazy.
Perhaps if I put me on a schedule for my time at home, both during the work week and on weekends, I might get more done, feel more productive and then, yes, feel as if I've solved part of the world's problems - even if only my small corner of the world.
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