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Hospice came today... a little long but now you can understand.

Friday, May 20, 2011

7 years ago on Jan 1, 2004 my mother left this world and I inherited my father. His health was poor as he was barely healed from a total Colectomy - removal of the entire colon - due to excessive diverticulitis and the fear was if even one bleeder was left my dad could have bled to death. He almost died twice the same month, once from a bleeding ulcer that had to be cauterized with a scope passed down through his throat - I later learned this almost never works and the surgeon has to watch as the patient bleeds to death!

I promised him then that if he wanted to live I would give him his best shot at life but if not, there was no way for me to eat and breathe for him. The choice would always be his. When I saved his life for the above cauterization, he told me he had been ready to go and I told him, "oops." This became our favorite word - every time he said he was ready I said, "oops."

June 2004 he had a stent put in and it was the first time he could remember no chest pain! August 2004 he had his first knee replacement and the 2nd in November 2004 and for the first time he could stand on his legs without pain. September 2004 I took him to Sleep Study for his Sleep Apnea and he was issued a CPAP machine but they also discovered a severe heart malfunction which led to his having a defibrillator/pacemaker installed In December 2004. 7 times he was hospitalized in 2004. He is a retired baker and I started calling him the Bionic Baker!

On his birthday, Feb 12, 2009 he took his first Dialysis treatment - again, his choice. He had told me he would not do dialysis and then told the doctor he'd try. He underwent 3 surgeries for his Fistula ( a vein & artery are joined for the dialysis ) and the first was into an occluded vein and had to be 'uninstalled' and put into the other arm - it grew back and had to be removed a 2nd time! 3 surgeries for one Fistula!

For anyone reading this and not understanding. For anyone thinking my father is giving up. I never knew my father had this in him - he is not a quitter. He has suffered more pain than I can understand because no one knows the pain of anyone else. The doctors have to be worried about addiction so my dad is in constant pain and cannot sleep at night because the medications only work for a limited time.

Hospice came today. The RN treated my dad like an intelligent human being and understood his pain! She slowly explained how Hospice will provide all his medications and will accept the medicare as full payment! They will give him as much pain relief as he needs. He will be given sleeping pills that graduate in strength so he can sleep at night. He can sleep in his own bed - he doesn't have to use a hospital bed!! They are even going to bring him a muscle relaxer to help relax the muscles around the area of his neck causing constant pain to him. Relief will be immediate because he will not have to ring for a nurse - only tell me or whoever is with him that he has pain.

We found out his defibrillator/pacemaker can be turned off!

He is visibly more relaxed after knowing he will be allowed to stop most of his medicines, only keeping those that will give him quality of life - like his Altzheimers medicine and medicines for pain relief and those for his stomach.

He has about one month left to him, with maybe 1-2 weeks being cognizant. He will get much attention this coming week while he is able to know who is with him. Then we will get the hospital bed and do whatever is necessary for the last weeks of his life here on earth.

Your prayers and well wishes are always welcome - he is ready to go home to be with my mother now and I am going make his journey as comfortable as possible.

Bless you all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEONLI 5/23/2011 9:17PM

    You are amazing....and your dad is amazing.

Many prayers and thoughts in the upcoming weeks...to give peace to a man who has lived a wonderful life and to give strength to a wonderful daughter who has stood by him all these years.
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MAWDOT35 5/22/2011 3:53PM

    My heart aches for you having to go through this. It is not easy watching your Dad die, and I speak from experience. May God be merciful to him through this ordeal and may He strengthen you as you care for your Dad.

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MILLIE5522 5/22/2011 12:47PM

    My heart goes out to you. I lost my lovely dad just 4 months ago. His wonderful smile is still with me and eventhough I feel sad I know that I would not have wanted him to suffer any longer. Much love xxxxx

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BAM-MA 5/22/2011 11:56AM

    You are handling this admirably. Make him as comfortable as possible and cherish any of those little moments that you have. Lock them away in your heart. When he is gone, you will need them.

Be strong for him, but take care of yourself too. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!


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DINGALLSTOO 5/22/2011 11:22AM

    it's a tough thing to do, but so worth it when it's your loved one (((hugs)))

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COOKWITHME65 5/22/2011 10:51AM

    I fully understand. Your father is very fortunate to have you and vs. versa. This can be an exhausting time. Please try to take care of yourself. Nap when he naps etc....

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LINDAKAY228 5/22/2011 8:41AM

    I went through similar things with my mom. The last 4 weeks we had hospice for her. They were so awesome. Like your dad, my mom was not a quitter but she was ready to go and be with her Lord and my stepfather. It was difficult for me but because she was at peace with it and we had many talks over the years I was at peace with it too. I had seen how much pain she had been through due to heart failure and severe osteoporosis and arthritis. She was in constant pain. Hospice showed me how to give her the pain meds and I was with her until she passed away peacefully. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you too make this journey. Giving him his choices is truly a wonderful gift you can give to him. He's so blessed to have you.

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MIZCATHI 5/22/2011 8:31AM

    As you describe here, your father is so fortunate to have a daughter he loves and trusts. And you know this is his choice. Hospice is a wonderful organization and will ease your father's pain he has endured for so many years. You will find some comfort in the coming weeks as he passes, knowing he is returning to your Mother and Maker and will be free of the struggle of hope and survival. You are much loved and love, and there is no greater gift than that. Peace.

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MSLZZY 5/21/2011 10:59PM

    Tough choices have been made. Prayers for you and Dad-hugs!

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GRALLEN 5/21/2011 10:29PM

    Oh darling, my prayers are with you and your father.

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2PONDS 5/21/2011 10:13PM

    MY THOUGHTS & PRAYERS ARE SENT FOR YOU & YOUR DAD!! emoticon
Dee

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CLEVERSPIDER 5/21/2011 7:19PM

    sorry to hear you are going through a tough time.

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KINSBAILE 5/21/2011 3:01PM

    Well you're an angel and brave soul. I don't know if I could have done what you've been doing in regards to your dad. He's not a quitter at all! He's just ready. When you're ready that's it. The decision has been made. I am glad hospice is there to help support your dad in his choice.

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JERSEYGIRL24 5/21/2011 1:28PM

    My thoughts will continue to be with you.

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FELICIARN 5/21/2011 12:09PM

    Oh Linda; my Dad told me today that your Dad is now on hospice care. We all know that he is not a quitter as he would never ever lasted this long with all of his ailments. He has been a fighter every step of the way. It is apparent to all that your love and care has kept him going too. It is wonderful that he was able to make an informed decision to do this and that you are supportive. You are both very strong people. The coming weeks will be difficult; but when you know you are honoring your fathers wishes it will help you through. I am here for you if you need me. I know my parents respect you alot for the way you have taken care of your Dad. He is especially dear to them; as was your Mom. We are all very proud of you.
Love always,
Felicia

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CHRYS13 5/21/2011 11:08AM

    "I hold you by your right hand---I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you.'"
Isaiah 41:13

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ANNASBF 5/21/2011 10:45AM

    I am so glad you have chosen to include Hospice in your life. I can't say enough about how their caring... for the whole family.... is just a godsend. He is quite a fighter and I'm sure you admire... and perhaps have inherited... some of that lust for life. I am so glad you are accepting of his choices... all of them... and are leading from the heart in an unselfish way to give him what he needs and wants. This is such a difficult time but I am so thankful to hear such a life affirming account of a daughter who loves and cares for her father... and family. May you find peace knowing these things. All my best to you.

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LIBBYFITZ 5/21/2011 10:37AM

    I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Your dad has certainly been through a lot. I am a nurse and am amazed that he is still alive now. He certainly has given life here on earth his best shot, and he has you to thank for being there for him. It must be very uplifting to have your father "with it" enough to make those decisions. May the next few weeks be as pain free as possible for your dad. emoticonto you .

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OLDERDANDRT 5/21/2011 10:16AM

    Prayers for strength, dear. You are a fabulous daughter and I know your dad appreciates that fact. emoticon emoticon

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PUDLECRAZY 5/21/2011 9:02AM

    First of all, you are wonderful; your respect for your father and his choices is obvious, and your sharing this here is a gift to everyone who hasn't yet had to make some of these choices. I don't think your father is a quitter at all. We are mortal beings, and there comes a time when we need to let go of this life... if we get to choose whether to have life extending procedures that lead to longevity, but loss of quality of life, or letting go of life in favor of quality of life, it is a gift. You have offered your father respect in his choice. My father was also a very strong man, a fighter for his health, but there was a time at which he knew that continued medical intervention would only make him more sick and more tired without hope of recovery. Hospice was wonderful, and Dad was able to die on his own terms in his own home with his family around him. THAT to me is bravery.

I know, though, that none of this is easy for either of you. Sending my love and support,

Chris

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 5/21/2011 7:38AM

    Oh Linda I am so sorry. Please know you and your family are in our prayers. Try to find something to celebrate every day you have with your dad. emoticon

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NITA-BERRY 5/21/2011 12:22AM

    I have to hand it to you Girl. You're one tough, but Golden Cookie. You're a blessing and example of how to "love in sickness and in health". May you know that you are cherished, may your memories be loving, and may you know that your reward is great. And I will remember you and your dad in prayer.

God bless.


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JILL313 5/20/2011 11:51PM

    You are an Angel to your Dad, and I can only imagine how hard this has been on both of you...God Bless you and your Dad. He has had a lot of pain in his last few years and I'm so glad, thanks to Hospice, he is pretty much pain free. He will soon join your dear Mother in Heaven and I'm sure that's where we wants to be. Take care of yourself as I know being a caretaker is really hard on you. God bless you all as your DD transitions into being with the Lord.

Hugs & Blessings,

Jill

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DIANESMILES 5/20/2011 11:51PM

    Sweet Linda, right now the pain is so raw while you under to this. In time when U look back, it won't be so hard. I hope at that point, you will be able to see how tender and sweet it really has been. If you can make a "memory box" or box of the things your Dad says during these short days, I'd do so. Its something you will have forever. Remember hon, I am also going through this ,,,with my Mum, only I can't bring myself to ask my Dad how much longer. He contacted hospice right off. I just can't handle it. May peace be with you and ur Dad.

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BLUESKY104 5/20/2011 11:26PM

    Linda, what a wonderful, loving person you are. May your Dad's transition to the next phase be as pain free as possible. emoticon and prayers for you and him
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LIZABETT 5/20/2011 10:52PM

    "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." ---Psalm 46:1


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MEADSBAY 5/20/2011 10:47PM

    What an honor and privilege it is to help someone through this last phase of their life.
I have been there.
You will remember it forever.
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BRIGHTSPARK7 5/20/2011 10:44PM

    So much dignity and respect for your Dad's transition. I appreciate the loving kind way you have supported him these past years. He has faced so many challenges with you at his side. Sending you blessings for peace and love through the coming weeks. I hope he's comfortable and that his pain is eased.

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MARYANNGI 5/20/2011 10:30PM

    Your dad sounds like a wonderful and strong man. I commend both of you for your journey these past years. These last few weeks will be long remembered by you and the peace he has been given during this time is priceless.

You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers.
emoticon MaryAnn emoticon

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MNABOY 5/20/2011 10:28PM

    You and your family are in my prayer.

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DEBSZOO74 5/20/2011 10:22PM

    You seem like a very strong person, and are such a wonderful daughter! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father. emoticon

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WATERMELLEN 5/20/2011 9:57PM

    Such kindness and respect: you can take great pride in having provided a fine quality of life for your father right to the end. All best!

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COLUMBINE2 5/20/2011 9:38PM

    Linda,
You have been an exemplary daughter and your dad is very lucky! I can't commend Hospice highly enough. My greatest anguish is that people wait until the very end to avail themselves of the wonderful care available through Hospice which was available much sooner.

Both my parents received Hospice care and their lives were touched profoundly by the nurturing of the volunteers and staff. I was also blessed by their support, explanations and understanding. It was truly a godsend to me.

I was blessed to be with my parents as they made the next transition and I treasure that experience deep in my heart. Yes, it was very sad, and it was also a great privilege and honor for me. I hope for you and your dad a similar experience. You have given your dad many more good years than he dreamed of having. You are a loving, devoted daughter. My warmest thoughts go to you.

Comment edited on: 5/20/2011 9:39:22 PM

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JUST-AMY 5/20/2011 9:12PM

    May you enjoy these last days with your dad as you give him such a loving send-off back to your mom, his bride, and may the Eternal Care Unit. May God be near, may precious memories abound, and truly--you are a prize of a daughter. I am going to remember this precious blog when I face the same circumstances in my mother's final days when they come.

Bless you!

Amy

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2PONDS 5/20/2011 9:06PM

    Linda, My prayers are with your Dad & You. His final journey will be pain free with Hospice (as it was for my Dad's) but your pain there is no medication ,only your faith in God & knowing your Dad will be with his beloved Wife & other loved ones that went before him. My heart breaks for you & your family. emoticon
Dee

Comment edited on: 5/20/2011 9:07:24 PM

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3IN4YO 5/20/2011 8:57PM

    Prayers and thoughts coming your way.

I understand, remembering my father's journey home in Dec. 2009.

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BESTSUSIEYET 5/20/2011 8:43PM

    Dear Linda, you have been blessed to be able to support your Father these past 7 years, and I know you have been a blessing to your father! the coming weeks will bring blessings even amid the sadness -- one of them being the peace of knowing your father hasn't been alone. I walked with both my parents through very difficult final years, and know how much help hospice was. Home care doesn't work for every family, but it sounds like you have been able to walk that difficult road. God bless you & your family!

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FAIRYDANCER1 5/20/2011 8:34PM

    What an amazing journey you have undergone. I admire the person that you are Linda. Enjoy these last days with your dad, his journey is almost complete.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/20/2011 8:31PM

    BLESS YOU! You are a good daughter. You & your father are in my prayers. emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/20/2011 8:17PM

    Oh Linda! My heart bleeds for you and your Dad..
You are both so very bravely facing these last few weeks together!,
It really shows the love between you ..
My Love, Support( if you need to vent) and Prayers are with you both ...
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 5/20/2011 8:15PM

    He is very, very blessed to have you, Linda. I admire what you are doing so much. Please do your best to take reasonable care of yourself, too, during this very precious, but difficult time. Hospice was wonderful support for me, my dad, and our whole family during my dad's last days. Glad you are not alone.

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 5/20/2011 8:12PM

    My prayers will be with you and your family. Take care.
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Julee

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GRANDMACOO 5/20/2011 8:01PM

    Hospice is a wonderful addition to the care you give your Dad as he gets ready to make his final journey. Keeping him comfortable in his final days is so important, not only to him, but to you. God be with you and him. I will be praying for the both of you.

HUGS coming your way....

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GINILEE4 5/20/2011 7:50PM

    This was a beautiful blog, linda. IIt told me of you and your father's relationship. I am so glad there is hospice. I am so glad you are on board and he is ready. My own mom is 82 and will start radiation treatment within the month. I will be by her side and will remember what you wrote when there is a chance for me to stand by her and her decisions. Thank you and I am sending love and blessings your way. emoticon

Love Gini

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MISSM66 5/20/2011 7:48PM

    Bless your heart,I use to work with Hospice for 11 years,and love it very much so many patient Died in my arms,just reading your Blog I feel Like I am a part of your Dad Nurse,because Hospice nurse are Special, they have Patients with there patient,they are caring and as you say they Treat there patient like Human being,I only stop working with Hospice because I get Married and my Husband don't want me to work,your dad is in Good hands,take care of your self and I will keep you and your family in my Prayers. emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/20/2011 7:24PM

    As I said in response to your blog yesterday...I am totally with you on your dad's decision. May his last days be as pain-free as possible and be lived with as much dignity as possible. He deserves to make the choice he has made and you both deserve the support of those around you.
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Kay

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BARNABABY1 5/20/2011 7:13PM

    Your father is so lucky to have you by his side! You are a true Angel! You have all of my love and support.... emoticon

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SPLASH1105 5/20/2011 7:06PM

    You and your dad are in my prayers. Hospice workers are amazing. I'm glad your dad is able to have them.

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REBARUTH55 5/20/2011 6:07PM

    Our experience with hospice has been very good. Holding you up in prayer as you continue to care for your father in the coming weeks. Blessings to you and your family.

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JLPEASE 5/20/2011 5:52PM

    Bless you for being such a compassionate and loving person. This cannot be easy for either of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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Thursday

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thank you all for your support - Pop decided this morning that he's had enough. I have known it was coming for months now. Dialysis 3X week isn't easy. And taking 15 medicines daily is a chore. Even getting the Fistula was rough on him - 3 surgeries to get it right. He just doesn't "bounce back" anymore.

He decided and I will not fight him. Hospice comes tomorrow to talk and evaluate him. One day at a time. I figure he has time to change his mind until next week - after Monday it will no longer be reversible I fear. He is just always too tired and he misses Mom more every day. He deserves to be able to decide for himself and to leave this world with as much dignity as possible.

I believe in quality of life. Sadly, at 88 he no longer has much quality in life left to him.

Hugs,
Linda

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRYS13 5/21/2011 10:59AM

    Thinking of you always....
In prayer for you and your Pop emoticon

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JOEYKTTN 5/20/2011 1:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Sill sending prayers, for peace & strength.
~Jenn

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BLESSEDGIGI 5/20/2011 10:11AM

    You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. He is blessed to have such a loving and understanding daughter. emoticon

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RUFFIT 5/20/2011 10:07AM

    You are in my many prayers. Moni emoticon emoticon

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ANDREWS_MOM 5/20/2011 8:11AM

    Prayers & hugs to both you & your father and rest of the family.
I think about you often.
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HEALTHY4ME 5/20/2011 6:36AM

    So sorry but I do understand where he is coming from. I am waiting for the day dad says that, He will well enough at this time but he too misses mum.
I know you will enjoy your time and make it all as positive as you can for all of you involved. HUGS

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NEW-CAZ 5/20/2011 4:00AM

    I am so sorry to read this Linda.
My thoughts are with you hun, treasure the time you have left together.
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LIBBYFITZ 5/20/2011 1:46AM

    emoticonto you and your dad. I am thinking of you at this time. It is so hard as our parents age and decisions have to be made. I so respect you for allowing your dad to have his dignity and decide for himself when he is ready to leave this world. emoticon

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DIANESMILES 5/20/2011 12:51AM

    Sweet Linda, during this very difficult time,,, say ALL you want to say,,, enjoy the little laughter you can, the wisdom your Dad passes on you,, listen to all he tells you,,, tell him all the things YOU want to say. At 88, yes you do get tired hon when the body breaks down, though at the same time, you really don't want to say good bye. You know hon, I am also going though this with Mum, and hospice is being so WONDERFUL to ALL of us with such SUPPORT and LOVING care,

I wish you nothing but completness. Hold hands hon, hold hands, hug if your both huggy, my Dad and I are very huggy.

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TUDI4480 5/20/2011 12:19AM

    Linda, My thoughts are with you and yours. This poem brought me comfort. I hope it brings comfort to you. I want to thank you for acknowledging and respecting your father's wishes. That is so important in so many ways.

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my
side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of
beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until
at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just
where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large
in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left
my side and she is just as able to bear the load of
living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side
says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes
watching her coming, and other voices ready to
take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”

And that is dying.

-Henry Van Dyke

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BLUESKY104 5/19/2011 11:12PM

    emoticon to you at this time Linda
You and your Pop are in my prayers emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAWDOT35 5/19/2011 10:51PM

    I'm sorry, Linda. I can imagine that he is just tired and worn out. He may feel different on Monday. May God be with you and your Dad during this difficult time.
Praying,
Dorothy

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JERSEYGIRL24 5/19/2011 10:35PM

    What a sad position you are in, but I can totally relate. I seriously hope this is not driven primarily by the incontinence, but it sounds like that is not the case.

What an absolute angel you are, Linda!!! At least you can know that you had two fantastic parents and that you in turn were the best daughter they could have hoped for. I am sitting here on the verge of tears, especially when I think of him missing your mom.

Love you so much,


Leslie

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BARNABABY1 5/19/2011 10:10PM

    I completely agree with your philosophy and will be thinking of you and your Dad daily! emoticon

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MSLZZY 5/19/2011 10:03PM

    May God be merciful to him in this challenge he faces-hugs!

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2PONDS 5/19/2011 9:54PM

    Linda, Once again I have to say what a wonderful daughter your are!!!! You respect your Dad's decision but I know how much it hurts you to let him go and lose him!! My thoughts are with you!!!! emoticon to my friend emoticon

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CLEVERSPIDER 5/19/2011 9:31PM

    Sorry to hear that. emoticon

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/19/2011 9:28PM

    You are both in my prayers my friend. emoticon

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KINSBAILE 5/19/2011 8:45PM

    I admire your respect for you dad. That's his decision and I feel he's justified. I wouldn't want to do that 3 times a week either. *HUGS*

I am glad Hospice is coming.

Hang in there, you're so strong!

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GRALLEN 5/19/2011 8:44PM

    Aw sweetie, my heart goes out to you and your Dad. I agree it needs to ultimately be their decision. My thoughts are with you.

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MEADSBAY 5/19/2011 8:30PM

    A few of my elder care clients, and my beloved MIL, made this decision for themselves.
What brave people.
We need to be strong for them.
Sounds like you know that already.

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OLDERDANDRT 5/19/2011 8:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonI'm here if you just want to talk, my friend. My shoulders are wide that you can lean on.

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LOPEYP 5/19/2011 8:21PM

    emoticon

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WORKTHEGOAL 5/19/2011 8:09PM

    He may not have the quality of life but with your support he can at least have a great amount of dignity.

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Mandy
10k steps a day

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GINILEE4 5/19/2011 7:58PM

    Linda , emoticon emoticon emoticon for you and your pop,

Gini

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SYLVIALYNN2 5/19/2011 7:47PM

    Linda, I know this will be hard on your Dad, you and your family. My prayers will be with you.
Sylvia

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MARTY19 5/19/2011 7:22PM

    I am very sad to read this, but I love the fact that you are letting him make the choice.
that has to be so difficult and loving at the same time. My heart is with you.

Love
Marty

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/19/2011 6:16PM

    Linda,
I'm with you on your Dad's right to make such a decision. There comes a time when the quality of life is so diminished. I think my dad would make the same decision if he had the chance...dementia has robbed his life of just about all forms of joy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hospice will help provide a death with dignity.
Hugs,
Kay

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SEDONACAT 5/19/2011 5:37PM

    Linda,
I am so sorry and really know what you're going thru since my sis just died in April after going thru everything (treatments) for cancer. Finally, she said "enough". It was hard for her daughter to accept but she had the right to make that decision and be supported in it.
Deena

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BRENDAB1970 5/19/2011 5:30PM

  Linda,

I know what you are going through. I have a good friend of over 30 yrs who I have reconnected with that I found out a couple years ago when we reconnected has been going through dialysis for the past 9-10 yrs so I hope for all the best for you & your family. I know we do not know each other personally but you are in my thoughts & prayers.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/19/2011 5:26PM

    Oh, I nearly burst into tears! My Dad is also 88 years old, and I just tremble at the thought of him passing. He is my step dad, but he's the BEST Dad I could have EVER had! He has heart trouble, and well, *sigh*... you know how it is...I'll be thinking of you, and your Dad, my sweet friend... emoticon

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wednesday update

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

it's wednesday now and Pop came home monday night.

we went to physical medicine yesterday and he has been put on low-dose morphine, yes I know what this means. one day at a time. one day he will refuse dialysis and we will be in the end of his journey but until then - one day at a time.

my journey is going well! I am still managing a deficit daily and the weight is coming back down, if slowly. slowly is great! might I be 119 on saturday? I can only hope!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTY19 5/19/2011 1:33PM

    I'm glad Pop is home again. He probably fees better as well. One day at a time is the only way to go. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your weight loss on Saturday.

Love you,
Marty

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DIANESMILES 5/19/2011 1:45AM

    Hon,,,your Pop and my Mum,,,the only thing we can do is enjoy EACH Moment. You will know the exact time to say Goodbye. Mum and I said ours the other night. (I don't know how much time she has left,,,hospice is there, my Dad is a MESS !) but, she bought it up,,,at the same time she wants me UP there and I've explained I won't be well enough to try again to even try again til the beginning of June,,, I really don't think she can hold on that long. I'll HAVE to go up for my Dad the day ,,,,,. How I don't know,,, I have surgery on Mon, and my back is a TOTAL mess.

Important you take care of YOU during this time. I've through this before with my birth Mom (She's my step, but just as dear as my Mom was). Take care,,,remember we have the extra page for support,,, it's there for u.

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BLUESKY104 5/18/2011 11:18PM

    Prayers for you and your POP

Encouragement to you on your goal emoticon

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2PONDS 5/18/2011 10:18PM

    Linda prayers for your POP, you & all the family!!!! God Bless you all.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/18/2011 9:22PM

    Will keep you both in my prayers. Glad that he's home & appears to be doing well. Love ya, Dawn emoticon

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KINSBAILE 5/18/2011 3:50PM

    Sounds like one day at a time is all we can do! :) I am glad he's home!

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MAWDOT35 5/18/2011 3:45PM

    I don't think I've seen 119 since I was 12! Prayers for the day by day journey! Thanks for all the help you give so freely to me and all the other Sparkers!
emoticon
Dorothy

Comment edited on: 5/18/2011 3:46:23 PM

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MSLZZY 5/18/2011 2:55PM

    Continuing to pray for you and Pop! One day at a time is all we can do-hugs!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/18/2011 2:13PM

    Linda, you and your family are in my prayers.
Kay

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NEW-CAZ 5/18/2011 12:46PM

    keeping you both in my prayers Linda.
Fingers crossed for Saturday......but remember it's not all the scales!
You're doing an ace job keeping fit and eating healthy. Your body will thank you
emoticon

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DORENC 5/18/2011 12:15PM

    Way to go! You are so inspiring. Dealing with things like that and still managing to stay in control. I am hoping that I can reach that point where I don't stress eat, etc. Keep up the good work and best wishes on reaching your goals.

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 5/18/2011 11:07AM

    You and your father are in our prayers. Good luck on reaching your goal girl!

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VIKKIROWE 5/18/2011 10:49AM

    You are and your Pop are in my prayers.

Just sending a little emoticon for all you do to keep me encouraged as I travel on this journey to obtain my weight loss goal.

A big emoticon and emoticon on hitting 119 by Saturday!!!! One day I am going to be able to say "something" like that!!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/18/2011 10:48AM

    You are doing AWESOME!!! 119?! That's one of my hips and thighs, I'm sure of it! emoticon

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 5/18/2011 10:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOEYKTTN 5/18/2011 10:46AM

    *hugs* and prayers of strength & peace on the remainder of the journey, for you, your pop, and your family.

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LIBBYFITZ 5/18/2011 10:45AM

    emoticonto your dad coming home. Yes that all you can do, one day at a time.

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OLDERDANDRT 5/18/2011 10:44AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Who's Tiny??

Monday, May 16, 2011

... the lady with the food cart needed to use the elevator so she went in first, then me - but another couple was afraid to get in. I told them there was plenty of room and they finally entered the elevator for a one floor ride.

The Lady confessed she was worried about our combined weight being too much for the elevator but she and her companion were not heavy so I looked at them and the now almost empty cart and told her the cart should be pretty empty of food by now.

She said to me, "yes - but you're tiny!" Heheheheh. I looked down at myself, said that I wasn't always tiny and just wished them all a great day. A one floor ride doesn't take long.

Heheheheh - still grinning over that one! Me? Tiny? Who woulda ever thought?!

**P.S. Pop opted to remain in hospital for the last treatment - WooHoo! Bless his heart, he has been so stressed over a "problem" that has developed with him staying clean - we discussed Depends and last night I finally found out why he hadn't divulged his "secret" to anyone, not even doctors. *sigh* He thought I would put him in a nursing home.

I told him that needing to use Depends is no reason to be put into a nursing home. I felt so badly for him - this must have been plaguing him for some time now and he was so afraid to say anything.

Communication is very important. I am only sharing his problem in case someone reading this is in a similar situation.

The need for something like Depends is so NOT a serious problem! From the time he put on the first one - he quit stressing and didn't have an accident!

Stress is a killer! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REMODELINGPAT 5/18/2011 3:03PM

    emoticonYou may be tiny, but your compassion is HUGE! emoticon

Blessings!

Pat

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ZUMBAMAMA3 5/18/2011 12:31PM

    bless his heart that's sweet. i hope pops remains in good health, and you are teeny tiny hehehe emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLEVERSPIDER 5/17/2011 9:16PM

    Sounds like a good day.

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GRALLEN 5/17/2011 8:40PM

    Tiny ~ That's awesome!! I'm so glad your Dad communicated his true feelings and now he has nothing to worry about.

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/17/2011 5:16PM

    I'm glad that your Dad was able to talk about what was bothering him.

May you be called "Tiny" many, many times more!

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MNOT2THICK 5/17/2011 4:23PM

    Linda, Congrats on being labeled "Tiny". I know it must still feel good. emoticon I am just going for "healthy".

Bless you dad and you and the ability to finally communicate the issues and solutions. emoticon

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WEEZYB7881 5/17/2011 12:28AM

    what a nice compliment. and so true.

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2PONDS 5/16/2011 3:01PM

    You must have been on cloud 9 when she call u TINY!! emoticon after all your hard work you deserve that title! My heart goes out to your Dad and his embarrassment and concern about his "problem" as our parents grow older the face many changes in their lives & that is one of them, but they are SO ashamed to admit it to anyone. What a wonderful daughter you are to re-sure him that was no shame in his "secret" and that would be NO NURSING HOME FOR HIM!!! God Bless YOU!!!! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/16/2011 3:02:39 PM

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MEADSBAY 5/16/2011 2:34PM

    Bless YOUR heart!
emoticon

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MSLZZY 5/16/2011 2:11PM

    Poor guy was worried and it turns out, it was a minor problem. Wish everything was that easy. Give him a big hug and blessings that you can keep him at home for a while longer. HUGS!

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OLDERDANDRT 5/16/2011 1:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonto your daddy. Bless his heart!

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MARTY19 5/16/2011 1:55PM

    You are tiny! How awesome that it was noticed. I'm glad Pop divulged his secrwet and your reassured him.

Marty

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/16/2011 12:43PM

    You're right, stress IS a killer. Congratulations on being called TINY! How wonderful. I'd be flying on the clouds over that! Love ya, Dawn emoticon emoticon

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DIANESMILES 5/16/2011 12:08PM

    HI Linda,,,doesn't it feel GOOD to be called TINY? I used to be called "skinny minny" when I was up to 38 yrs old. Than THIS happened. LOL And I went from 115 to 288. Has taught me COMPASSION along with ALL the PAIN I am in. If only others could walk in their shoes, we'd learn huh? I HAVE !

I am so GLAD you and UR Dad have had that talk. horrible where the mind goes. I know so MANY older ones FEAR the nursing home and think for the SMALLEST reason IN they GO !!! It's just NOT true. My Daddy is now 80 and has had 7 heart attacks, is very frail and my poor lovely Mum is dying (crying so hard at times ! I'll miss her so MUCH ! She's my step Mum, but no one is like her ! I LOVE HER SO MUCH ! When my Mom died, she took RIGHT over and we clicked). They fear so much, but my brothers are literally ARGUING over who GETS DAD, makes me MAD he has his OWN MIND and KNOWS he wants to be with my step brother Greg and I am BACKING HIM UP !!! Greg is a GOOD BOY and treats him like GOLD ! What else can I ask?

Take care,,,it's HARD when our parents get old. Diane

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JERSEYGIRL24 5/16/2011 11:42AM

    You may be tiny in stature, but you sure don't have a tiny heart!!!! emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 5/16/2011 10:59AM

    Your dad sounds like a sweetheart!

"Your tiny! " emoticon emoticon

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JENNY888 5/16/2011 10:27AM

    How good it must have felt to be called Tiny. You have earned it. Thanks for sharing about your Dad also. It is a touching story and I'm glad I read it.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/16/2011 10:10AM

    Hi Tiny... I mean, LINDA! emoticon I am SO GLAD you and your Pop got that all figured out! My Dad uses them and when he comes, he just has his own lined trash can set up in his room so nobody has to even deal with them! He takes a private pride in taking that bag out to the dumpster! emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/16/2011 9:47AM

    emoticon

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BLESSEDGIGI 5/16/2011 9:42AM

    emoticon You are tiny and you have worked very hard to be that way. Enjoy the comment, you deserve to feel good and proud of yourself.

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MAWDOT35 5/16/2011 9:20AM

    Hi Linda! You really ARE a tiny person! I guess it sounds strange to hear that after you have been overweight. I hope I live to see the day that someone tells ME that I'm tiny!!

Blessing on you for taking care of the situation with your Dad. Lots of people need Depends but don't need a Nursing Home! Bless him for agreeing to use them!!!

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NEW-CAZ 5/16/2011 9:19AM

    Hi Tiny! Love that!!!! emoticon on getting such a well deserved compliment.

Glad to hear dad knew the best thing to do in the end, sounds like he just needed some reasurence from someone he trusted ie YOU! emoticon

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KINSBAILE 5/16/2011 9:17AM

    You are tiny! :)

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TULIPAN2 5/16/2011 8:55AM

    Who is TINY? You are!!! emoticon

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KIMDONN 5/16/2011 8:40AM

    HOW AWESOME!!! emoticon That must have felt so great!!! emoticon, so much hard work paying off and people taking notice, I love it!! emoticon

I applaud you for how you handled Pop's stress and now he feels better which give you peace of mind!!! I hope you is doing well!!

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SEDONACAT 5/16/2011 8:39AM

    You are a good daughter. I'm glad he shared this with you because it couldn't have been easy-a question of pride & fear of a NH. Depends made life easier for my dad when caring for Mom before she had the big stroke and went to a NH.

Hope he is home soon!

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RUNWITHMICHELE 5/16/2011 8:34AM

    What an awesome compliment!!!

And yes, I agree with Andrews_Mom, you are an awesome daughter too!

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ANDREWS_MOM 5/16/2011 8:29AM

    You are the emoticon!!
Your dad is lucky to have such a great daughter & I'm lucky to have such an emoticon friend!!
BTW- YOU ARE TINY!! emoticon
You work hard for it & deserve it!! You look amazing!!

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HOWDOIHEARTTHEE 5/16/2011 8:19AM

    emoticon

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Taking a breather!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Pop had a major meltdown on Saturday when he called, almost crying, to tell me to get him out of the hospital. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to call the nurses station to see what the problem was and they talked him into staying until morning.

Yesterday I went to hospital twice, morning to calm him, afternoon to await the doctor.

Pop had valid complaints - and was misguided in some of his opinions. Long story short - we took care of all his complaints and found out what was really being done for him and he is now content to remain for the balance of his anti-biotic treatments.

Some of it was "separation anxiety" and a lot was just plain discomfort. Now we wait to see if he is discharged today or tomorrow.

Keep on Sparking! Thank you all for your prayers and hugs!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLELIFE4REAL 5/17/2011 3:37PM

    Hospitals can be such uncomfortable places to stay in the best of circumstances. Patients really need an advocate for them. It's good that you were able to do that for your father.

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MSLZZY 5/16/2011 2:13PM

    Even the littlest things can upset us. I am so glad you talked
to the nurses first-hugs!

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OLDERDANDRT 5/16/2011 1:54PM

    Continued emoticon for your Dad. I'm glad you got him diffused and made more at ease. You are a great daughter and I admire you thinking enough to call the Nurse's station before jumping the gun......I would have shot and asked questions later! hehe

emoticon emoticon

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BLESSEDGIGI 5/16/2011 9:48AM

    I too have been there and done that. It is soooo hard. You are a fantastic daughter and your father is so blessed to have you. Glad things are going better. God Bless! emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 5/16/2011 4:55AM

    emoticonSounds like a stressfull time for you and your pop. Glad it all worked itself out. emoticon

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GRALLEN 5/15/2011 8:11PM

    You made the right decision in this situation. Good job. And glad to hear "Dad" is doing better.

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TRYINGHARD1948 5/15/2011 8:11PM

    Your Pop is one lucky man to have you as a daughter. Hope all goes well for the future. emoticon

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CLEVERSPIDER 5/15/2011 7:20PM

    you handled that well.

Comment edited on: 5/15/2011 7:20:42 PM

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DIANESMILES 5/15/2011 6:41PM

    HI Linda !! It's SO HARD having older parents. This past spring BOTH Mum AND Dad were in critical condition. WOW the things my brothers (9 of them !) and I went through !!! I was beyond scared ! We ALL Were !!! Now they are back home (they were in FL we live in ME and Mum has turned critical and hospice has been called in. My heart is torn. Its hard huh? ALL the WORRY about them. At what point did WE become the parents and them the child?

Want to know what's ALMOST FUNNY, but NOT !? I have so many physical disablilities,,, my FOOLISH granddaughter who so sweet and loving,,,, thinks SHES now the one taking CARE OF ME !!! The other day I was in so much PAIN SHE sent ME to bed. LOL it was touching and loving,,,,but ! I am THE GRANDMA ! Gotta love her,,,, awwww

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2PONDS 5/15/2011 3:50PM

    emoticon calling the nurses station to find out what was going on with your Pop, Glad that he did stay to finish anti-botics and that you were able to settle him down. and give him some comfort!! Pray all goes well in his recovery!!! emoticon to you my emoticon
Dee

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MARTY19 5/15/2011 3:34PM

    I am so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you were able to resolve this. I'll pray he comes home today.

Love you
Marty

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DESTINYE 5/15/2011 2:22PM

    That is tough, and hope he has calmed down now, not easy getting older...

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NEW-CAZ 5/15/2011 1:42PM

    It's so easy for someone in hospital to get anxious and get the wrong end of the stick.
Not so long ago FIL was accusing staff of moving him all the time- they were in fact trying to prevent bed sores! Took ages to convince him the staff didn't "have it in for him".

You're doing an amazing job taking care of him Linda, huge hugs emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 5/15/2011 12:55PM

    Great big huge emoticon!!!

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ERIN1957 5/15/2011 12:22PM

    Linda, You have done an exceptional job in helping him. My prayers are with him, you, your family and his caretakers.

Hugs,
~Erin

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JDFAN448HS 5/15/2011 11:48AM

    emoticonBest wishes for a speedy and complete recovery for your Dad. emoticon

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SEDONACAT 5/15/2011 11:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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BUNNYCATS 5/15/2011 11:17AM

    Prayers for your Dad! emoticon emoticon

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BEYOURBEST1 5/15/2011 11:12AM

    I wish him a prompt recovery.
emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 5/15/2011 11:10AM

    Your dad is so lucky to have you, Linda. I know it isn't easy, but it is blessed work. Be sure to take care of yourself during these challenging times. Regards, Marsha

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NWLIFESRC 5/15/2011 11:09AM

    Be happy you still ave ur dad around

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/15/2011 11:03AM

    Glad that you were able to get your dad settled. I'll continue to keep you both in my prayers. emoticon emoticon

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JERSEYGIRL24 5/15/2011 11:03AM

    Wow, sounds like my visit with my father last Saturday. Even though for totally different reasons, I can more than relate. It was very upsetting seeing my father, a very take-charge person, near tears.

Glad you were able to calm him down. Take care, my Spark friend!!!

Love you,


Leslie

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