Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The only one that can make me feel bad about myself is me, myself.
**edit: Yes, Janet! I didn't remember the quote but yes I like it!
***edit: I stopped comparing myself to others. I can admire another without feeling I must compete. I try to be all I can be myself. Then I accept me whether I succeed or fail. I can always try again.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I might be a little more dedicated than some, but then my need is greater too.
At 210 I was a heart attack in the making. Genetically speaking, I was on borrowed time. Both my parents started their heart problems at age 57-58 and I was already 56 and getting heart flutters.
I am built like my Dad (his life is in mortal danger if I ever go bald) and he had 3 heart attacks and at least 1 mini-stroke. I made the decision, lose the weight or face the consequences. I simply cannot afford his medications and wouldn't want to be on them even if I could. He takes a dozen daily.
My mother passed away in 2004 and I have had quite an education in doctors and medicines since I had to start helping my Dad on a daily basis. I now have 2 seniors that depend on me daily and no time for poor health. (My Ray is 87.)
So I came back to SparkPeople and started doing the Spark Program. I knew I had to get 45 lbs off at the minimum to be able to maintain what I believed I could handle, 165. I found the Spark Program to be so easy on me that I changed my goal to 148, 135, 130, 125 and now 119.
I am blessed with a walking partner that needed to walk daily even more than I! So we talk non-stop every day it doesn't rain and walk 4-5 miles. I get up at 5am to be able to walk with Cathy at 6am during the summer months which have already started here in Mississippi. Dedication.
Just dedication, determination, devotion and a bit of effort on my part.
Except for yesterday!
This is actually sort of funny.
Well, my weigh-in day is Sunday. Dad's freezer quit on him and I had a 5 lb bag of shrimp that had thawed and he was afraid to use it. So I cooked it all at once. That wasn't the bad part. I ate about a pound of shrimp, 48 shrimp more-or-less with 1/8 cup Shrimp Sauce. Nope this still isn't the bad part.
I was well within my calories! Yahoo! I was going to get through this unscathed!
Yeah, right. Now the bad part. I used Zatarain's Crab Boil. Uh huh. Good old Zatarain's 100% salt it seems, my sodium in the Zatarain's was over 5000, lol. So I went up 2.6 lbs and poor Ray went up 2.7 lbs just since yesterday!
I know it is temporary but today is my weigh-in day and today I am up from last Sunday. So, I fall down and stand no more in the "Last One Standing" competition in one of my teams. I only hope the weight goes down again this week. I never understand why we can gain overnight but take weeks to lose it again.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I have learned that even Weight Watchers encourages people to have one *cheat* food every week. **see below-Marty says WW does NOT use the 'cheat' word!
What I fail to understand is, why use the word cheat at all? Why not *indulge yourself* one time per week? To me the entire concept of cheating is negative.
Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others. Cheating implies the breaking of rules.
There was more in the definition, but the above says it all. Link to definition:
Interesting, to say the least.
**edit: Thank you Marty! Since you belong to WW, you would know! I read that here on one of the messageboards - but the word cheat might have been out of the mouth of the poster. I appreciate you correcting me!
**MIKIIO, I can indulge myself anytime I have extra calories. However, this doesn't mean I can or would eat a trigger food. I still cannot have cookies, lol.
Friday, May 15, 2009
I was attacked in another person's blog because of me posting my "quit smoking" blog. It was anonymously but since I have the only Quit Smoking blog analogy it is pretty obvious I stepped on at least one set of toes.
I gather "this person" saw himself or herself and so I am to be shot and hung immediately for my opinion. Why is it I am not allowed to have my own opinion in my own blog?
People are forever foisting their opinions of my program at me and picking me apart but that is ok. I thank them all for their opinions. And yes, my family is included, I am not referring to sparkpeople members.
I walk too much, I shouldn't eat ice cream, sugary cereals are bad for me, I need to be eating my veggies raw, I should not eat meats, I eat too many carbs, I need to be using heavier weights, I am getting too thin... the list goes on.
I think anyone that is offended by my "quit smoking" blog needs to rethink their own program if my blog upset them that much that I am being attacked about my own opinion posted in my own blog. I am not asking anyone to agree with my analogy, but I don't deserve to be shot for having an opinion either.
(And actually, there are people who "only smoke on the weekends!" There are also people who only drink on the weekends. I will stand up for the rights of others but not if they are going to shoot me down over my own rights.)
There is a forum that has this very same question and it goes back and forth on having a cheat day, etc. Actually there are so many threads dealing with this as negative and positive that I am only going to try to put the link for the search
cheat+day&q=2 if it doesn't work, just use search for message boards and cheat day.
oard.asp?imboard=7&imparent=9583884 is entitled Hurray For Cheat Day! What did you Eat? this is what I would call a positive feedback thread.
oard.asp?imboard=7&imparent=10076423 is another, only called Cheat Day?
and there is one that is soooo many pages but at the moment I cannot find it and it literally bounces back and forth with opinions.
If I offended you... I am sorry... but... I reserve the right to have my own opinion.
I have compassion for those that fall off the wagon, so please don't hate me just because I haven't. I have not faltered in adhering to my program, not even at the holidays. This is a lifestyle change for me - quitting is not an option.
I am only guilty of working into my meal plan foods that others might think of as cheat foods. I belive in free choice and I choose to form my living patterns now for the rest of my life. When I reach my goal the only thing I will need to do is add back calories daily until I find the right number for most days. I am also choosing to track daily for the rest of my life rather than regain this weight. I am too old to yo-yo anymore. And too close to a heart attack.
I will not allow others to dictate to me what I can think. I never have and I will not start now.
BTW, I have not left a negative comment knowingly on anyone's page. I have sent private messages rather than risk embarrassment to other members with a public comment. And the owner of any page is always able to remove comments he or she objects to. I won't because everyone has the right to his or her own opinions, even on my page. I only removed one comment in 14 months and it was by mistake and I apologized to the person immediately.
P.S. I do thank you profusely, MIKIIO, for telling me that as a smoker you thought my analogy was good.
Since I smoked for 10 years and know how difficult it is to quit and easy to start again, I thought it was a decent analogy myself.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My desire is still there to lose this weight and keep it off. I stay motivated.
The problem is not the motivation, it is the laziness that tends to creep in sometimes. It is the temptation to eat junk foods.
So I accept that I am not perfect and when I can no longer resist temptation, I add the tempting foods to my daily tracker.
And I do have days that I just don't do my exercises.
But I do keep my eyes on the prize and I will reach my goal and then maintain it.
One day at a time.
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