Myths and Misconceptions

Monday, March 28, 2011

We've all run into some myths and misconceptions about how fat people act or are... and now I'm here to weigh in my opinion on the matter!

Also, thank you to everyone for the outpouring of love for my last vblog! I hope that I can continue to inspire and motivate all of you, and I love you all!

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Moving Mountains - A Goals Speech

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I told you I'd let you get to see me be awesome! :) And here it is... and trust me there's more where this came from!

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You are about to see me be awesome!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

How many of us are struggling? Yeah, I know some of you out there raised your hands. Even though not a soul was there to see you right? Me too. I hid the scale the other day, well no that's not accurate... I had my husband hide the scale the other day. Why? Because that darn number just refuses - flat out REFUSES to move!

And that just was frustrating as all get out. Demoralizing would probably be a better word, I very seriously considered just giving up.

"I won't ever lose the weight! I'll be 375 pounds for the rest of my life, never buying clothes in a normal store and wearing Muumuus when I reach the age of 30".

...Yeah I really said that outloud.

Not many people know that I restarted college this past month. One of the first classes I'm required to take is a speech class. Now I've never really had a problem with public speaking, as I'm sure you've all gathered by my video blogs, so I really thought this would be the easiest A I ever got in a class. The professor then told us what the subject of our first speech will be.

Goals.

I froze like a deer in the headlights. Sure I could talk about graduating college again, but how does a 28 year old woman stand up in front of 18 year olds and talk about going back to college and STILL not having any idea what she wants to do? Money's always an issue and a goal, but that's not really concrete either. "I want more money" can't really be stretched into 5 minutes. So what does that really leave?

Well crap.

So I sat down and I started on my outline for my Weight Loss Goals speech. Then last night, I wrote my rough draft. Talk about the hardest rough draft I have ever written in my life. I'm still not entirely happy with it. I looked around the classroom and realized there is not a single person in there that will truly understand what I'm trying to say. That will truly understand the struggle of being a woman over 400 pounds. And thank god, really. I would never want someone else to go through that. But how do I convey that message?

Well... I think I have a good idea as to how. And in about 2 weeks you're going to get to see that speech because a requirement is that we have to video record these suckers. Writing this speech helped to re-energize me... and the words of a dear friend helped pushed me back over that edge of motivation.

Trust me y'all. You are about to see me be awesome!

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A quick update!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hello there my friends!

I've been told I've been missed. Well I've missed you all too. :) But I've been having a hell of a time the last 4 months. :(

I'm trying to get back on the wagon. I haven't lost any more but luckily I haven't gained back a whole lot either. Only around 10 pounds. It's just getting back to it that's the hard part. Going back to recording everything you eat, going back to no more fast food... which is very hard for me right now being at school for 10 hours a day.

I'm hoping in the next few weeks I can get a new video blog up. I really do miss all of your comments and support and I probably needed it more than anything in the last few months but didn't realize it.

I've had some real low points in the last 4 months as well. Some binges, some sitting in the bathtub and crying... I'm sure some of you know those feelings. Lately I've felt like I will never reach my ultimate 150 pound goal... heck that's still 225 pounds away! I've felt as though even the 70 pounds I lost didn't make a difference. I know so much of that is ridiculous now, but it's so hard when you still can't buy pants at Lane Bryant and you're running out of acceptable clothes to wear.

We don't really have much food in the house right now, so at least we won't be needing to purge the house of any crap! But we can go grocery shopping on Thursday and I'm going to be getting back to it all.

I definitely need some support right now... more than ever. I should get back active in a few message boards but I've never really been known for staying active and on top of things in a community.

I miss you guys! I hope your weight loss journeys are going better than mine lately!

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Why have I been out?

Friday, September 03, 2010

Hey all! Just wanted to give an explanation as to why I haven't been around for any more video blogs lately!

Unfortunately my camera broke. :( This makes me sad.

I have to save up the money for a new camera (I'm looking at flip cams!) but it's going to be a while since the hours at both my husband and my jobs have been absolutely terrible. Like I'm not even kidding terrible (For example, my husband went from 60 hours a week to 32!). So I'm really not sure when I'll be back to do another one, which also makes me sad. :(

But keep an ear out, and I'll let you know when I'm able to be back, okay!


Rayani

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