Saturday, August 06, 2011
The last post I made was a toughy...we were dealing with some pretty harsh realities, and I just kinda went into overdrive...didn't post updates here. I am so sorry!!
I am heading down to visit Don in the morning. Miss has a ringette camp she is going to next week...our good friends are picking her up on Sunday. Don's parents are staying with us, so are watching her and Josh while I am in Van. Yes, the summer is just kind of going on no matter what happens.
As for me...after my meeting with Brad (sports med dude), I talked to my gp about bp meds, and she gave me a prescription...said that she doesn't expect me to need it past when Don comes home. The totally cool thing about the whole specialist thing...I told my GP that Dr Squire was going to take me on as a patient, she asked me if it was Pam Squire...I said yes, and she went on to tell me that she was the best pain specialist in Canada...she does seminars and papers on the most difficult cases. A couple of days later I talked to Dr Yu (INternal medicine dudette), and once she heard I was with Dr Squire, she backed off of the case. She told me that there was nothing she could do that Dr Squire could not do, so she thought it best to leave it with the best.
Sooo, that is where I am.
Now Don....ok, he is hanging in there...he is feeling pretty good given the treatments. He is tired, but is positive. We have been told he will not likely be back home until at least the middle of October, so at least we are not trying to plan for earlier. He spent a lot of this week with really crappy blood counts...his whites went down to under .1, and his platelets were also under 1...they are now giving him antibiotics everytime he hits the hospital. I know most of you guys don't understand this stuff....suffice it to say that he is doing ok...is getting REALLY aggressive cancer treatment with the hopes that they get all of the demon before they bring Don back.
Us, well, somedays I feel ok, and somedays I just don't. If I saw Bobby today and he gave me a hug, I would cry like a baby for hours...as long as he would give me a hug. But to be here...I can deal with it.
Oh yes, next week we get a CT scan to find out if they were able to shrink the growth...
Love you guys, and thanks sooooooooo much for hanging with us!!!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Soooo, Friday starts with a client appointment...her datafile went bunk...aka, is useless, so needs to be reposted...for anyone that isn't in accounting...they need to start from the beginning of the years recording to give me accurate numbers. Yeah, that wasn't good:(
I went to a local bakery to get some buns, and one of the ladies that works in the Commissionaires office (same building, 2 doors down) stopped me to talk. She asked how my family was doing...because it was out of the blue, my emotions rose to the surface right away. I headed back to the office because I was crying...regrouped, then headed out to get my buns. Got back, and took a call from my buddy (also client)...he was saying "Trish, please keep me posted on what is going on...if I don't hear from you..." Well, I said to him "you know what is going on with me right? He said no, so I told him Don had Cancer and started bawling...had to call my admin assistant in to let him know I would call him back.
I hit the pain specialist dudette - she is a Locum for my doc...she tested me, and was super interested in how I managed to get so bad without intervention. She has now put me in on her client load in Vancouver. I will be seeing her in a couple of weeks.
I am so raw right now...I was playing a song on the piano...the one for music Monday...'tomorrow is coming"...I started crying as soon as it got to the main part. Talking to my sis, it was nothing for me to cross over.
Why? Well, today Don was told what his treatment would consist of. He has started radical chemo (way more radical than before)...like we are gonna bulldoze you until you can't function. After that, they are going to give him Stem cells, and hopefully bone marrow, and replace his blood to bring him back.
I am scared because of all of the above. Missy asked me today when she would see her Dad....well, she can't if there is any risk of exposure...it is at least 3 weeks away right now. I am going to set-up Skype on my laptop, so we can have him at our dinner table.
I guess I didn't realize until today how incredibly serious and life threatening this whole thing is...now I don't know how to process...trying to mesh the whole really crappy back thing with the really crappy cancer thing...any ideas?
Anyhow, I know this is random, that is how my day went...
Hopefully tomorrow will give me more ideas.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Soo, today was a weird one. Because I am not at work all of the time, I am not able to deal with everyone as they come in. My partner and I talked about how to deal with this, and it means getting the little stuff out of my office. He made the mistake of saying that..."when you get the call that he only has 2 months, I will lay you off immediately because of your health." That was hard.
Then I headed to physio to get my SI retaped. Saw Brad (sports med dude) in the lobby (his daughter plays indoor soccer), he asked how Don was doing (I haven't talked to him since this latest), so I told him he was in Van for cancer treatment....he asked what kind, I told him, and his face kinda just dropped...I said DANG buddy, you are supposed to say..."don't worry everything will be ok"...he laughed, and said that it will be a longish process, but Don is strong.
So then tonight...I told Miss a while ago that her Dad has cancer, and that cancer is any growth that doesn't belong in your body. Then I talked about the fact that Don has been transferred from VGH to the Cancer Centre (kinda like a dorm for cancer patients)...I told her it was great that he was there, that it meant that he didn't need quite the level of care because his body was handling the chemo better than they had expected. She said that it was weird that Dad had to be with cancer patients, and when I said, but you know you Dad has Cancer, all heck broke loose. She cried uncontrollably for almost an hour. Finally I brought her back, reminding her that she knew this, and what cancer is...
Josh was crying before I even talked to him...only because Miss was, and he thought he should. He was fine...
Holy cwap...they told me days may be like this...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Don had another spinal tap done, as well as a bone marrow biopsy...there is no cancer in either of those spaces, so they can harvest from him, much less likelihood of his bod rejecting it when they have to transplant....Definitely a good thing.
Me, well, I got a lot of serious chats from medical persons today...Don and I need to talk about what will work best for all of us. I can't drive to and from Van with my back the way it is indefinitely....it looks like he may be there for the better part of 3 months at the minimum.
Soooo, we will move forward as we can. For now, I am just existing...anything outside that is a blessing:)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Spent the day with Don and my Gran...
Don & I played cards, and did a puzzle...ok, I did the puzzle, he kinda pretended to try:);) He is starting to feel kind of crappy from the chemo. It broke my heart today when he said "I have tried to do everything right, I don't smoke or drink, exercise regularly, eat pretty well...why am I going through this?"...hard to answer that. So, his usual thing when I ask him how is is doing, is "better than broccoli"...now it is pretty much the same as broccoli...just curious how broccoli feels...anyone know?
Thanks so much you guys, your strength and hope is with me, bringing me up and helping us get through this. I logged onto this page and showed Don how many people care for us. He is so thankful, and wants me to tell you guys thanks for him...also thanks for being here for me.
Anyhow, I love you all.....oh yeah, I ran the sea wall today. It was awesome - 12k, totally medicated, but totally awesome:);) Weird that I didn't ever feel any tough parts...just kinda did it.
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