RACHEL630's Recent Blog Entries


Friday, April 16, 2010

Hey, guys!
Whoooooo .... I am now at the heaviest I have ever been. I don't know if you remember that hip injury I wrote about a while back, but that's still not totally gone. I got the OK to exercise probably 8 months ago, but I still haven't had the heart to go again. Exercise is not on my brain any more and it's back to feeling like an "extra," not a "must-do." I remember when I exercised frequently it just made sense. Now, I can't help but feel like it's a waste of time because I have so much stuff to do. Bad thinking! I need to change my thinking.

It kills me that I was 10lbs away from my goal weight and now I'm 10 lbs heavier than I have ever been. But, I did it once, I can do it again!

In other news, I've been doing an internship at the alumni magazine for the college I'm attending. This is my dream to have a writing job! I haven't enjoyed the internship very much, unfortunately. It was too much work and it was an unpaid position. A few of the people were very unfriendly and I didn't feel like I learned much. But, it was good experience to put on my resume. I'm not sure where I'm going now! The internship ends in about 2 weeks. Where to go from there? I don't know. I need a paying job and I really want one in my field (writing/editing). Something will come through, I just know it!

This is the 965th time I've "restarted" here on SP. Hopefully, this time I will stick with it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBRA73 4/18/2010 10:20AM

    I have started over and over again as well!

Don't worry! You sound so resolved to do this! Embrace walking everyday for a couple of miles. Soon the exercise bug will bite and you will want to amp things up!

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ZIRCADIA 4/17/2010 10:44AM

    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Don't worry about restarting -- this is YOU NOT GIVING UP! And if you keep NOT GIVING UP you WILL get there in the end!

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The Over-Under-Dis Blog

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Over-worked, over-weight, over-tired, over-burdened, over-extended, overwhelmed ...

Under-nourished, under-appreciated, under-valued, under pressure ...

Dissatisfied, discouraged, disconnected, discombobulated, disorganized ...

But, I'm still here. I'm not giving up.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPYMELZ 11/3/2009 1:40PM

    I've been there lately! DON'T GIVE UP!!! When you can't control anything else in your life, you CAN control what you eat!

I've found that sentence very helpful when everything else is spiraling out of control.

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LIBRA73 11/2/2009 6:05PM

    ditto that!

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ZIRCADIA 11/2/2009 3:24PM

    Never give up! We are still here, rooting for you!

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STILLFLYIN 11/2/2009 5:50AM

    You are a poet! Hang in there. There are better times ahead.

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Still Here

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm still here. Going crazy - but I'm still here. I've gained back all the weight I've lost. I'm back to nearly 170. It's horrible, but it is what it is. I'm trying to get back on track ---- again.

Sorry for how long I've been gone. I've been thinking of you guys and wondering how everyone is doing. Miss you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 8/31/2009 1:21PM

    Just get back in there starting with the basics!!! :) YOU CAN DO THIS.

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STILLFLYIN 8/30/2009 10:44AM

    It's like riding a horse - you get thrown off, you have to get back on. All it takes is one more getting back on than getting thrown off.

Glad you are still here!

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LIBRA73 8/30/2009 10:26AM

    You and I are in the same boat! Lordy, I hate it! I am getting on it girl!

Glad to hear you are still around - big hugs!

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Big shocker. When I weighed myself this morning the scale said I'd lost four pounds. I haven't seen any weight loss in many, many weeks so this came as quite a surprise. I'm not convinced that the scale wasn't lying to me. Sometimes it plays tricks on me. I think I need a new scale. Anyways, so I'm just telling myself not to be upset over next week's weigh-in if it says I've "gained weight."

That being said, I had a very good week eating-wise. It was the best week I've had in a long time. I didn't go out to eat, indulge in desserts, or snack on bad things. I actually had a couple days without any soda this week, too. Of course, I only drink diet soda, but I still don't wish to be ruled by my cravings. Drinking iced tea has really helped with that. I guess there's just enough caffeine in my tea to help me get by without my soda. Oh! I even managed to not eat any cake at my in-laws last night. I don't think they were very happy with me for skipping the cake, but that's their problem, I guess.

One thing that I discovered recently are these fruit popsicles made with splenda. At Kroger it's a package of 12 for about $2.50 and they're only 35 calories each. They actually are made with real fruit, so they have great flavor. It's my new favorite thing.

My hip has been hurting me a lot in the last couple days. It's very discouraging. I keep on thinking that I'm almost recovered, but then I'll be laid up on the couch again. :::::sigh::::

I've tried something new on the non-weight loss front. I've been spending a lot of time beating myself up for everything that I'm not getting accomplished. Some of those beatings are reasonable, but most of the others are just not fair to myself. I can't expect everything to be perfect all the time. That's just a fact of life. So, I've started making a list of things I've accomplished every day. It's amazing how much this has changed my outlook. I've also tried thinking of every day as an opportunity. I feel a lot happier than I have in a while.

I'm still reeling from the awesomeness of the new Star Trek movie. It kicked some serious butt! It's now my favorite movie. Oh my God, if I get started raving about this I'll never stop. You just have to go see it if you haven't seen it already.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HONKEIE 6/1/2009 10:51AM

    I love suprises like that lol. One thing that keeps me for eating these days is that I am broke haha!
Keep having good weeks and who knows, the scale might be your new best friend.

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APPLEHEAD326 5/19/2009 8:33PM

    Ohh, I can't wait to see that movie it looks SOOOOOOOO good! I'm sorry to hear about your hip.. I hope it gets better soon! Also I like the fact that you look at all you've accomplished in each day I have always tried to do that. I have this issue, lol.. where a lot of the time I look at the negative instead of the positive. Its something I'm working on to, so your not alone.


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LIBRA73 5/17/2009 11:38AM

    Awesome news! I wish your hip would stop hurting! You are doing a great job, so don't beat yourself up. Breathe!

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ZIRCADIA 5/17/2009 11:09AM

    Star Trek WAS AMAZING. :) And Kudos on such a great week and a loss to show for it. :) I like the idea of a shifting outlook to help prevent the self-beatdowns -- those aren't good!

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SAMILIA 5/17/2009 10:23AM

    Yay on the weight loss! It doesn't surprise me if you've had such a great week that you've seen a drop. :) And as someone who also tends to beat herself up over things, I applaud your new technique to prove to yourself that you're doing lots of productive things every day. I bet you see even more progress with your weightloss goals as you continue to feel better about yourself in other areas of your life. Keep it up!

Also, Star Trek was AWESOME!! I agree that I could gush forever over it. :)

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Setbacks and Rebooting -- Again

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Here I am again to say that I am restarting. I wish I knew how to get a "true" restart. That kind of restart where you're excited and willing to happily do what it takes to succeed. You know, how it usually is at the beginning of a diet.

My hip is still bothering me. I've had this hip tendonitis since November. Every time I get almost recovered I do something and end up "re-injuring" it. Sometimes even simple stuff like walking is painful. I'm still getting treatment, but I'm running out of benefits with the health insurance. Fun, fun, fun. Under advice from my doctor, I had to stop exercising.

Between the lack of exercise and how crappy I've been eating I've gained 15 lbs (!!!!). I feel stupid. I was only ten pounds away from my goal and I blew it.

My husband and I will hit our 5 year anniversary soon, so we decided to SPLURGE on a 7 day cruise. Yeah, look at us go! I'm afraid all of those buffets on the cruise contributed to those 15lbs I put on, sadly. We went to the Caribbean & Mexico just as hamthrax was turning into a big deal. We're totally healthy -- except for all the over-indulging we participated in.

Oh, and I cut my hair! I've been looking for a new job and some people gave me feedback that my super-long hair might put off potential employers. My hair was about 5-6 inches past my butt. Yeah, it was seriously long. I LOVED my long hair, but it was time to let it go. Now it's a little shorter than halfway down my back. I still haven't gotten a job yet, but at least I know they won't turn me away because they think I have a screw loose. I donated my cut hair to one of those organizations that use hair to make wigs for cancer patients.

I've got to get my act together.

I can't believe I blew it and gained 15lbs. The "sticker shock" has really given me some impetus to improve my eating and exercise habits. I guess you've got to start somewhere. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 5/12/2009 4:39PM

    HAMTHRAX! HAHAHAHAHA :D So funny!! anyway -- Welcome back. You know you can do this, just gotta get started. :) Have you tried using pool workouts??? It may be even easier now that it's getting warmer, too, but those are supposed to be the miracle when you have joint problems.

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    Keep your chin up sweetie! How great that you've donated to something like that Locks of Love. I have done that several times in my life and it's such a great feeling to know you're helping someone that way.

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ZUZUMARIE 5/8/2009 10:48AM

    Don't worry that you are not motivated...just do one thing right, then another...take it meal by meal and day by day. It may not help you but I would love to be where you are, you seem so close to goal to me!

I cut my hair too! It was middle of my back and is now short by my ears and I LOVE it!

Good luck on your job search and I know you will regain motivation once you see some success.

You are the greatest!

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SALAD-ADDICT 5/7/2009 9:32AM

    It's Ok,Sweetie..it happens....and you had the right to enjoy your anniversary. I would consult with Dr to evaluate the best way to lose weight in your condition. We are still here for support!!! emoticon

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LIBRA73 5/6/2009 9:52PM

    *hamthrax* lol....too funny!

Hang in there and get your rebooting in gear!

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LIBRA73 5/6/2009 9:51PM

    Don't feel bad, I always get close then blow it ! Hang in there!

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