Saturday, January 04, 2014
Do I really want to start over and plow thru the emotional pain that caused my weight gain, and my procrastination with goals well intended? Do I have the energy to pull it together, to hold it together and stop worrying about the "yeah but's"... Do I want to stop giving the past over to my present? Do I want to find my true identity, not the one I was told I was. Hell yeah! My fight is back, not for my past but for my future. Am I scared, you bet.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
I previously posted on my Facebook page that I had entered the "gates of hell" when I had to get a tetanus shot for a large nail that had gotten stuck in my foot. Because it was around my chicken pen it was whole heartedly suggested I get one. Four hours later, I came out with a totally different perspective...who would have thought....I had to write about it on FB when I got home or I never would have gotten to sleep. For me, it was a moving and humbling experience.
Finally home from County Hosp. Dogs given treats, cats petted and Herb tea in my mug. I felt compelled to write. Don't know who will read this but that's OK just wanted to write...
I feel like I have to apologize for my "gates of hell" comment on previous FB post. When I first registered at the hosp. It was busy, there were folks that were, well, not OK mentally as well as physically. As I sat there for a total of four hours, I tried to tune it out by reading my book as I sat myself next to a guy who looked like he was gang member...until I heard him call his girl friend and ask her to buy cookies so he could have some when he got home. The smile he had when she told him she had already gotten him chocolate chip, was priceless. We struck up a conversation and I no longer saw the outward look of toughness but the person, he wanted cookies, it was awesome. Another woman sat down next to us, very haggard by a hard life. When she sat she just opened up and told us part of her story, she needed to talk. Her husband had a heart attack and they were hitting really hard times, they were at risk of losing the home they rent.... As the guy and I were listening I was observing an elder gentleman running around with one purple surgical glove on and just his shirt and boxers..he wanted to take things that people had, like magazines and such..he was very confused. Everyone in the waiting room showed amazing patience towards him. The staff kept gently guiding him back to his wheel chair. Obviously county hospital is not exactly a mecca for the well to do, there is a rougher crowd here but, question came to me; how many people actually stop to think about the life circumstances that happened to these folks that may have gotten them homeless, addicted or challenged with mental illness? So many assume that their circumstance is by choice. It is not always that cut and dry. I found myself asking my own self, honestly how much time and energy have I spent looking "down" at someone rather than looking "at" someone because of how rough or unkempt they may look?
When I got in the examination area, one woman picked a fight with the charge nurse and had to be asked to leave by the sheriff on duty. They keep resident sheriffs there. But even with all the running around the nurse had to do, she kept her composure. She understood the patients she worked with, she kept her compassion along with a great sense of humor. In the next room an M.D. was trying to talk to a Hispanic patient in English, the patient was trying very, very hard to understand but you could tell he was getting embarrassed. The M.D. realized it and without missing a beat, broke into perfect Spanish which eased the whole situation as the patient was pretty ill. That to me was another act of kindness, the doc didn't sigh and out of frustration ask, "Do you speak any English at all?" He just transitioned his next series of questions in Spanish. I have worked medical and dental for 34 yrs, I have seen some real jerks in the industry. I was impressed and touched by what I saw in such a harried environment.
Tonight, I caught myself instantly assuming the roll of judge thus my comment; I entered the gates of hell and my action; hiding behind a book. When I put the book down and engaged, I was embarrassed by my attitude. When I decided to look at what I was observing from a stand point of "openness" I was no longer through the gates of hell but a place that held a valuable life lesson of tolerance, compassion, respect and patience. I am humbled.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
From an article that I read and wanted to share.
Well over 100 years ago, shortly after her eighth birthday in July, 1897, a young New Yorker named Virginia O'Hanlon put pen to paper in hopes of settling an argument she'd been having with some of her little playmates: Is there in fact a Santa Claus? She sent her brief letter to the New York Sun because, she explained, "Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'"
Weeks passed without response from the newspaper, which apparently misplaced the letter. Young Virginia had just about given up hope. But on September 20, Edward P. Mitchell, the Sun's editor, handed it to veteran writer Francis Pharcellus Church with instructions to craft a reply for the next day's edition. Church had seen the worst of mankind, having covered the Civil War for the New York Times. But the editorial that he crafted conjures man's best angels, which explains why it's the most reprinted editorial ever.
Here's Virginia O'Hanlon's original letter:
DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.
And here, in full, is the unsigned editorial which Church penned:
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
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