QUINTESSENCE_QT  
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1 step forward... 2 steps back...

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

I feel like just when Im about to get ahead something happens to set me back ... its agravating and depressing... I have so much I want to do and could do if I was given just a little bit of a break... Im doing the absolute best that I can right now... and its just not good enough... Its honestly like I take a step forward and then 2 steps back till Im at square one again... when your young you cant wait to grow up... you have so many plans for what your going to do and how your going to do it... then when your an adult you look back and think.,.. how the hell did i end up here?!?... so far from everything I wanted... I just hope things start turning around... IM SOOO CLOSE!!!! BUT YET STILL SOOO FAR AWAY!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 2/11/2010 9:27PM

    Some times it really seems like this but it will get better. Breath and believe. I hope it improves soon for you. Hugs!

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SHIMMY2BFIT 2/9/2010 3:35PM

    Welcome to life :) Sometimes it just plain sucks. I feel your pain though, I was on my way to a great body everything was looking good then I was diagnosed with uterine cancer...all my hard work gone in 3 months!

Treat every day like a gift and you wont go wrong. there will be days when you ask yourself "whats the return policy on todays gift" lol that's when you just gotta say, I am alive and feeling fine!

You will have a better day tomorrow and when it feels like you are taking 2 steps back for every step you move forward - treat it like a new dance step and then day just add another skip forward or two :)

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DPARKS10 2/9/2010 2:06PM

    Try and stay positive. There will be times like this when it seems like nothing goes your way, but try and keep your head up. Things will start to turn around for you.

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Finally some exciting news... yay!!! :D

Friday, February 05, 2010

I got that job doing the massage therapy!!!! :) so there is alot I need to do this next month to get ready for it... I will be renting a room upstairs at this spiritual bookstore... which is kinda nice because I will be able to do what I want up there... kinda starting my own business all over again... :) its really reasonable a month... so i should be able to do this... its just kinda overwhelming... but in a good way... I have my car back ... it still has issues... the electrical is messed up... its gonna cost bout 500 to fix... hopefully i will get my taxes back soon... so I can fix my car and get my massage license taken care of before march... im still valid... just need to work on some things... so theres ALOOOTTT on my mind.... its good though... stops me from focusing on stupid boys... hehe...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 2/6/2010 10:33PM

    Wonderful! Keep up the great work. Sounds like things are moving in a good direction for you. Yeah!

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MELA1953 2/6/2010 4:56PM

    Congrats on the new life changes!!!!

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TEXAS2STP 2/6/2010 1:10PM

    This is great news I'm glad to hear everything is coming together and I hope that your business becomes a success and life always smiles upon you.

emoticon

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LADYIRISH317 2/6/2010 11:50AM

    Congratulations on the new job! I hope you enjoy every minute.

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FRAN0426 2/6/2010 2:06AM

    Congrats on the new job, hope all goes well for you.

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BABIE_JANE 2/5/2010 11:24PM

    Congrats on the new beginnings. Best of luck to you in this new venture. emoticon

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Day 1

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

so a friend of mine came over and i already broke my fast... i ate half a sub... ugg... Im not beating myself up too much over it... i tryed to prepare myself for this but i wasnt as prepared as i wanted to be... but thats ok... baby steps my brother told me :) so im gonna go get a glass of water... im gonna try and drink as much as i can the rest of the day... and keep going... i need to turn the radio on full blast and get busy with my cleaning... I have alot of work ahead of me... i wish my taxes were in so i could get them done and over with... i should be getting a good amount back but i dont know... i really need this money though... and I desperately need my car back... I've been without it for almost 2 months now and its killing me financially and socially... I'm very tired of being at home... I shouldnt complain but it gets pretty depressing... the transmission went out on me... my parents and my uncles are doing everything they can to help me out... so for that i am grateful... I hope I dont lose out on this job that I was offered last week though... without a car I havent been able to get there... Its working at this spiritual book store doing massage therapy in the studio up stairs... It sounds like an awesome oppertunity... I just hope its still available when I get my car back... If its not though then I need to let it go and not let it get me doan because everything happens for a reason... I just really hope and pray it all works out for me...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKINFOX 1/20/2010 10:20AM

    That sounds like a pretty cool job!! I hope you get your car back soon too. Good luck on your goals!!

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MSEMBERSTORM 1/20/2010 12:54AM

    Hope it all works out for you! Keeping my fingers crossed!

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DENALYNNDRACA 1/19/2010 5:09PM

    Good luck! I hope you get your car back soon!

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Makin some BIG changes in my life...

Monday, January 18, 2010

Been doing alot of thinking and its officially time to "clean house"!!!! Im getting rid of as much as possible... going through stuff and having a big yard sale... kinda like spring cleaning only in the winter... I'm also starting my diet for real tomorrow... I need to fast for 3 days first... and then I'm going to start eating just fruits and vegetables for a little while... and then slowly introduce my body back into fish and chicken... I'm gonna try hard not to get back into the mode of eating carbs much... maybe a few here and there wont hurt me but for awhile I really need to get on the stick and be serious bout my health... so thats my plan... Im gonna try my hardest to stick with itfor a bit... i believe I can do this... and so I will... :) I will probally be in here at least once every dayand Im gonna log in as a blog cuz I can see it better that way... and everyone else will know my progress... I HAVE to lose like 80 lbs... once i do that I will be happy... it wont take me too long once i get focused... I'm not trying to go crazy and starve myself but I know my body and when i get serious it comes off quickly... I just havent been serious.... AND I also want to take revenge on a former boyfriend... haha... figure loosing a bunch of weight and then struttin my stuff letting him know hes missing out is the best way to do that... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZAHNASGRANDMA 1/19/2010 12:05PM

    If this old grandma can do it, you can.

I am here for you, just send me a e-mail on Sparks or Face Book.

I started with a cleansing fast, and then cut out all the white stuff, fruits, veggies, nuts and grains, September through December, I am adding a little carbs here and there, but not many. I am a vegetarian, so it was hard, when your diet is based on carbs and fats, but here I am today 44 pounds down, feeling wonderful and still going and hoping to be back to my million weight by summer.

emoticon emoticon
Virginia

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JIBBIE49 1/19/2010 11:57AM

    Are u still using Phen?
Forget the loser boyfriend, as he probably was with you because you had "boobs" being 80# overweight. I saw a guy on "JUDGE JUDY" who'd gotten a divorce after his wife lost a 100# because she was "flat-chested" and he was only interested in "them."

Try the SOUTH BEACH DIET by Arthur Agatston, M.D. You can drop 8 to 13 pounds in the first 2 weeks.

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KITKAT771 1/19/2010 7:01AM

    Go for it!!

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CAROL3SAN 1/19/2010 6:55AM

    emoticon
Good luck and best wishes in fullfilling your goals in 2010

Comment edited on: 1/19/2010 7:01:02 AM

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MSEMBERSTORM 1/19/2010 1:24AM

    Sounds like you have quite a plan. Go for it gal!

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i had a mental break down last night....

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

In some sences it was actually very theraputic... I reached the point where I was like what the *bleep* am I doing with my life?!?... I am going NO WHERE and getting there faster than ever... I was very angry.... with myself... with everyone else around me... I dont get angry... I think its cuz when i do... I get very mean... and even though the person im being like that to may deserve it 100%... it makes me feel bad about myself... I need to re-evaluate my life and the people in it... there are a few friends i need to cut off completely... i love them very much... but they are toxic for me... i need to let go of the things I cant controll and just let things be and go where they are ment to... I need to stop being so obsessed bout finding the truth bout things... even though you may know how things really are... sometimes the truth is bettter left alone... The begining of 2010 just BLEW UP for me... but sometimes things have to be obliterated so you can put the peices back together... Thats were my focus is... Im working hard to put things back together in my life... Ive fallen down a very steep well and now i gotta dig my way out... but when I come back on top... I will be better for it... the struggles you face only make you a stronger person... if you can manage to get through them... A BIG THANK YOU to all my spark friends... you all are always encouraging and this site helps me to stay focused and keep moving forward in my lifes journey... :) I appreciate and love you all! emoticon ~Stacey~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FROSTBITE_14U 1/10/2010 10:08AM

    I'm with you on the moving forward. I have hit my own wall in my life currently. Just slowly making changes. Keep it up!!

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ILOVETOCRUISE 1/6/2010 7:17AM

    Take a deep breath and start again.

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LASSKERR 1/5/2010 10:10PM

    I had that break down kind of night not too long ago. Sometimes you need them just to put yourself back into perspective.

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PATRICIA441 1/5/2010 9:54PM

  Each of us have to find what works for us. Who in our life is a plus to help us along the journey and who will pull us down. It has to be about what is best for us. Good luck to you. NEVER give up.

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PA_KUPCAKE 1/5/2010 9:16PM

    I know exactly how you feel...this year has totally sucked for me so far...and I am going to work my best to put my best foot forward

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MZSASSY 1/5/2010 8:48PM

    U said it now do what you say. Be selfish at this time and do it all for you.

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BABY_GIRL69 1/5/2010 7:58PM

    You have to first & foremost take one day at a time. . . It will get better. . . .

Blessings,

Dee

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MSEMBERSTORM 1/5/2010 3:39PM

    You are so right. Sometimes they have to blow up to be put back together correctly again. I hope it all gets better for you! Sometimes a good cry is cleansing! Smile you can do this!

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BPELTONEN 1/5/2010 2:13PM

    I hope things get better!

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