Saturday, January 03, 2009
I got a lot done today. Did a lot of journaling for one thing. I'm really planning to try my hand at writing this year. After registration on Monday, I plan to stop by my English professor's office and talk to her some more about possibly getting published. She has so much faith in my ability, and one of the things that I have learned recently is that it is okay to not succeed. the fault lies in the lack of trying! So one of my main objectives for this year is to be more receptive to trying new, positive things, regardless of how they turn out.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
I am ashamed when i see how long it has been since I have posted to my blog! As I said in my journal a few moments ago, I intend to get back on track this year beginning right now. I realized that when I truly used Spark People, I benefited from all the different aspects, dietary, overall health and emotional and spiritual support as well. I got discouraged, and I slacked off. But I'm back in control of own life again, and this site is one of my major tools to living the best life I can, so I intend to "buckle on my tool belt" and get to work in 2009!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thanks to all of you who commented on my last entry. I am indeed feeling better, both emotionally and physically. Started school this week, majoring in Human Services, with the goal of being a Community Support Worker, also forming an Interfaith group to address and deal with our common issues.
Did finally get Medicaid, and was able to get all my meds! That is probably one of the reasons why I feel better-much less pain! Found a good MD who is helping me to get better as much as is possible. Being referred to a rheumatologist, who will not only address the rheumatoid arthritis but also administer Synvisc treatment for my left knee, which has greatly deteriorated in the past six months.
Today, I am joining with my national Islamic community in mourning the passing of our leader, Imam Dr. W.D. Mohammed. We pray for his soul, that he may be granted entry to Paradise. We will greatly miss his leadership and his sincere love for all of us. We request your prayers as well.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
I truly thought that I knew him, and I really truly thought that he loved me. I was wrong, and that is that. Thank God for revealing the truth to me before I took the next step-marriage.
I'm feeling very disillusioned, but I still have some optimism left in me. I believe that, when I am truly ready, God will send me the mate He has for me.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
First I have to apologize to all my various team members for not holding up my part of the team effort (challenges, posts, etc.) The past two weeks have been a living hell for me, and I just was not able to keep up with this forum.
I was serving as the alternate caregiver for my friend's husband, while she went to her family reunion. Everything was fine until Monday morning (that would be two Mondays ago). He woke up and was really disoriented and appeared to be in pain. So i decided to keep him home from the adult center where he goes four days a week. I felt as though he needed to be at home that day. when his wife called and spoke to him, she told me to call 911, because he sounded totally disoriented. So I did, and we also called their son to come over, since he is a bit more familiar with Dennis' medical history. The paramedics took him to the hospital and I took care of the baby so that Robert (the son) could go with him. I was really frightened-I thought he had another stroke-on my watch! They ran tests, and said that he didn't that he just had an intense UTI. I know that in people with compromised systems this can be a major issue, causing sepsis. They put him on IV antibiotics. After a day or two they transferred him from the Stroke Unit to the Rehab Unit of the TBI Center. His wife got back into town the night after he was admitted. I question the diagnosis, because now he's having physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy, and he is much less steady than before. But they insist that he only had a urinary tract infection, and not a stroke. He was released from the hospital last Thursday afternoon, and although he is getting better overall, I am still concerned because I don't understand why they insist on saying there was no stroke. Even the OT person is questioning that.
Well, while he was in the hospital, my brother developed an extreme case of hiccups, which would not go away. Eventually he went to the ER and they wound up admitting him. (Naturally they were in two different hospitals on different sides of town!) He apparently had complications from acid reflux disease, and they put him on muscle relaxants, an anti-anxiety med, and a heavy duty antacid. So I spent a number of days running around town from hospital to hospital. He too eventually recovered, and is back to work and feeling much better.
Next, I developed horrendous muscle spasms in my lower back, left side, calves and hands. Then my hands began to hurt. I could barely write, and couldn't do much with the PC either. I was in a program which helps people return to work, and they discharged me and sent me for an assessment with a special disability work program. I had a complete workup on Friday (the one that just passed) and I have a follow up appointment for this coming Friday. I am probably not going to be able to do the job that I used to do-Administrative Assistant- because I can't guarantee on any given day that I will be able to use the PC or write for any length of time. I have been feeling really depressed because I couldn't see a solution to this problem. However, I have spoken to a Case Manager, and in the course of conversation she helped me to recognize that i have other skills which I can utilize, that would not involve much typing or writing, and that are alternate paths to employment. For example, I am a certified mediator and a certified dialogue facilitator. I have also been a mediation training coach. She also suggested that I market the hands-on experience that I have had in the past and am having now with being a caregiver. Apparently there are positions available which would put me into a group home setting but without any major physical work involved. All of these things are of interest to me, so I am feeling a bit more hopeful about my future than I had been. However, they are concerned that I have developed rheumatoid arthritis in addition to the osteoarthritis. Using my cane is no longer an option, but rather a necessity. And I still have not been able to obtain the medications I need. I have to go to the ER tomorrow and request them, since my Medicaid case is still pending.
I have been tracking my food intake and water intake, and I am going to try to update so that the team goals don't get too skewered. I know I need to finish this week, as it is the end of the month.
I am praying constantly, to endure, to understand the Plan, to keep hope alive. But it isn't easy. Nevertheless, this is my time to work on me, on all aspects of me, mental, physical and spiritual.
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