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No lapband for me

Sunday, January 19, 2014

So, I can't do the lapband because of some other medical issues but I am starting to exercise and eat better. I have a new goal and a team mate to do it with! We are training for a 10 mile run at Disney World in October- one week of training down- 37 weeks to go. We are starting with walking-increasing our mileage every week and thusly- our stamina (hopefully)- interval training with alternating walking and jogging. It's nice to have someone around that wants to do this as well. I have also thought about cutting out gluten. We shall see where this new road takes me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDYLOVE_76 1/20/2014 12:01PM

    You can do it. One day at a time.

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NHES220 1/20/2014 1:06AM

    Sorry you cannot do the lapband, but maybe things happen for a reason. A friend of mine just had hers reversed a couple of months ago and now has GERD and Barrett's Esophagus. She has gained a lot of her weight back and still wants to have it done again. Do your best - the goals you have are great and there are a lot of people here who have done wonders without weight loss surgery. I wish you well!

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COCOSMOMMA 1/20/2014 12:16AM


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CETANISTAWI 1/19/2014 10:24PM


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ONTHEPATH2 1/19/2014 9:29PM

    A 10 mile run is an awesome goal! You can do it, one foot in front of the other! emoticon emoticon

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EMMACORY 1/19/2014 9:00PM

    You have a great goal! It is wonderful that you have someone to do this with. I will be rooting for you both! emoticon emoticon

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 1/19/2014 8:56PM

    You can do it...Stay the course!

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Lapband- The Journey Begins?

Thursday, November 07, 2013

I just got an appointment today for November 12th with Dr. Huguet at the Bay Bariatric Surgical Center in St.Pete. I am scared as all heck....but here I am....I am about to start my journey....for motivation...I edited a photo with redbook's special weight loss editor...seems pretty rad to me! Maybe I don't want to be 111 lbs....but still...it's interesting to see myself thinner than I've been in a long time. I edited a little more with picmonkey to blur the lines from my first photo. I am really insanely nervous, but after seeing this photo- I am very excited all of the sudden. I have an appointment with the sleep center in my town as well to see if I have sleep apnea. I am on the road to recovery and I'm not going to feel anymore pain- I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am so ready for my life to start back up again. I can't wait to rockclimb, sleep through an entire night, and have the energy to do whatever I want. It's going to be amazing to have the energy for my career as well- I can just imagine- working all day on clients' hair and not feeling like I am dying of exhaustion. I am ready.

& maybe I'll start to look like the real me again (& I'll see my lovely collarbones again!):



Sunday, August 11, 2013

So, I am a yo yo dieter/exerciser.
I'm ready to stop yo yo ing. To help with this serious transition, I am going to ask my doctor about the lapband. I have looked into it several times, but never actually made the call to the insurence company....until my last blog post. My bidy hurts so bad everyday and even low impact exercise kills. I am going to do something. I am going to stop binge eating, yo yo dieting, and yo yo exercising. I'm going to do it right and it's going to last for the rest of my life. I understand all the complications that have the possibility to arrise from this procedure. It is not a quick fix for me, it's going to take a long time to lose 150 or so lbs. I am taking the steps to force myself to make better choices. I always say fake it until you make it for confidence, but it hasn't worked for will power or desire to eat at the right times of day. Instead of eating my calories in one sitting, I am going to have small meals. The lapband will ensure I'm doing so. It's physically impossible to push more food through that band without hurting yourself. I generally don't enjoy enflicting self pain (outside of tattoos and the like)....so, it will force me to eat small meals throughout the day-which I never do-usually wait until I'm ravenous and destroy some bad bad bad foods.

What else is a problem? The cost. That problem has been eliminated by my insurence. As long as I have the procedure done where they want, it's 100% covered, no deductible, no copay. I guess I had to wait until I was right of mind to take this plunge...I am ready. Monday, I'm going to talk to my doctor.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUACKSPUNK 8/12/2013 1:26PM


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MOTHEPRO 8/11/2013 5:41PM

    Good luck!

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Thursday, August 08, 2013

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am going to stop posting photos where the camera is held at different angles. I am going to post my current photos in a swim suit from today. I look horrible. I am going to make this better and I feel scared to let others see what I really look like without the fancy camera angles...so it must be something that I need to get over. I avoid people that are on my facebook in real life because I don't want them to see the difference from when I graduated high school. I need to get over this fear. I am posing in a two piece. I have uneven fat desposits, one side of my stomach sits out further than the other side. I have cellulite...and rolls. I am completely unhealthy. I have a warped physical view of myself. I see clothes, and I'm like "Yeah, that'll totally fit me"...and it never does. I have a better view of myself and maybe that's damaging my progress? Then, what I see in the mirror doesn't match up to the photographs others take of me! I'm always shocked...like "that is not me.....I don't have back fat that's THAT bad...OH MY GOD! I don't have two chins! You doctored that up!" It's like reverse anorexia...sounds weird, but I totally love myself. I see something else when I look in the mirror and it makes me think I don't need to lose as much weight as I think. I am comfortable in my skin. I go to the beach and I don't wear a sweater in July anymore. I used to hate my body and now I have accepted myself as the way I am. I am confidant and comfortable with myself.....but my body hurts. My knee hurts, my ankles hurt, my back hurts....every joint in my body hurts. I sweat when other people are completely comfortable. This is why I am going to lose weight- I want to stop hurting. I want to go skydiving (weight limit 230), I want to suspend by hooks in my back (weight limit- unknown), I want to ride THE DANG HARRY POTTER RIDE AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS(my chest is currently a whopping 55 inches around- mostly because I am a 42H cup- no that is not a made up bra size). If I lose this weight, I'll feel better, have more energy and be able to do all the things I want:

*Harry Potter Ride
*Breast Reduction
*Hip Tattoos

I will now post my true self- as others see me. I am round and proud...but am hurting...so this is the me that is going bye bye:

My feet are tiny.....I feel like a flamingo at times....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUACKSPUNK 8/11/2013 8:58AM

    Thank you so much for the kind words, everyone.

Steve-I love theme parks and one day I am going to own one, I need to be smaller to test out all those amazing rides!Good luck on your dream ride-you'll get there.

Ohanamama- Thank you. I also want to walk across hot coals, but definately not yet-too much weight on my feet! Lol My top usually covers my belly and so do the bottoms. It feels safe and secure like a one piece but doesn't restrict my shoulder movement. Tankinis are the way to go. My lovely lady lumps are too big for a one piece....I'll have to post a photo of my swim team days.,,,, its pretty funny..,..the suits are meant to streamline you, so they were extra tight-but they never hide my curves. You can spot me amiss the sea of slender girls (my mohawk helped).

Fitfrit-good Iidea about posting photos! I should put one over my water dispenser!

Jenb145- You gotta fake it until you make it. I've always been very theatrical-so that helps......I say things like "Please, I am FAT-FABULOUS AND THICK!" Gay clubs help too...lol.....sounds weird, but to have an entourage of men telling you that you are beautiful (all my best friends turned out gay...three-pretty nuts)-it's a real confidence boost. Find some amazing people to surround yourself with and they will show you how amazing you are. If you're shy-fake confidence. One day, you'll realize you aren't faking it and its genuine love that you have for yourself.

Myyear13-It will make a difference. Its MY year too! ;)

AliceArt-We can, and we will! emoticon

Pickie-Completely not fair that they can lose easier too! My brother lost 30 lbs by doing nothing but drinking more water.,, sick! Lol My bones are teensy. I have teeny tiny wrists and ankles and my hands are little too...so I look strange at times..,....lol.

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APACHESTEVE 8/10/2013 12:56PM

    We never know for sure how others see us. In your pictures I don't see rolls of fat, or back fat, or several other things you listed. i do see a big girl with curves but you know that right? It is funny one of my listed goals is to ride a roller coaster although I'm not specific on which one. It is a good goal, a fun one and keeps me motivated. Knee pain is also a motivator in my journey. It will be great to walk around work or store and not be in pain, right? Great post, thank you for sharing.

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OHANAMAMA 8/10/2013 10:49AM

    You got step one down pat... love yourself/accept yourself NOW... :) Excellent... now step two is done as well... knowing your starting point, this is where you are and you know where you want to be... do you have a mental picture of yourself in your head at your goal? Now... step 3, how do you plan on getting there? :)
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I also, at times, look in the mirror and seriously think... that can't be accurate.
In my mind's eye, I'm still young and much thinner than what the mirror tells me. Damn mirror. Damn delicious food. and my own damn selective participation when it comes to exercise.

btw... that suit is gorgeous!!! I'd never get away with a bikini, but a suit with a top like that and old fashioned high waisted bottoms... maybe someday. :)

I'd love to do the same things you listed!...well... I don't need breast reduction...I need breast LIFT. :) and the suspension... that kinda creeps me out... but if it's something you long to do... make it happen, chick!!!!


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FITFRIT 8/9/2013 1:18PM

    it's never easy to face reality, kudos to you for being able to. I had to do the same thing awhile ago. I think I am going to post pics of me around the house like that to remind myself that if I don't make healthier choices I won't change how I look.

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JENB145 8/8/2013 8:17PM

    I understand the process behind the mirror image that you see not matching the photos other take. I suffer from the same view distortion. I can look at me in the mirror and say, what a cutie. But in pictures I look like a fat hag. Its very frustrating sometimes.
You are very brave to do what you are doing.

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MYYEAR13 8/8/2013 3:56PM

    It's awesome that you are comfortable with who you are and have accepted yourself in spite of everything that you posted about. That makes such a difference in trying to lose weight! :) Good luck to you!

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ALICEART2010 8/8/2013 3:36PM

    you are courageous...we can do this together.... emoticon

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PICKIE98 8/8/2013 3:27PM

    Isn't i t weir how men and women have their weight distributed so differently? Guys seem to have bird legs and fat all in front. We women seem to have bigger thighs and the arms and legs have that weight on them. Not fair..

be gentle and patient with yourself,, remember: this weight did not just jump on us overnight!! It snuck out of the closet every night for the past twenty years!! Allowing our poor bodies the love and patience it deserves after we forgot about it.. seems fair.. Be patient and keep taking those pics and you will soon see a difference dear!! BTW, I love your suit!!

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A little bit of strength today creates the muscles of tommorow

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I think I have found something that is starting to work for me. I haven't been watching my diet but trying to just get into a workout routine. I have been doing it three or more days a week for the past three weeks. I get up in the morning before I start my day, turn on my wii and dance like a maniac to the dance game Just Dance 3. So far, I am down 7 pounds. My brother also told me about this site called Bodbot.com. It's a free website that gives you strength training workouts. If you don't have a gym, that's okay- they give you exercises that work with just your own body weight. I did one today, and phew! It's a workout for sure. There was one I couldn't even do, but it allows you to switch one exercise for another that works out the same group of muscles. I am pretty proud because I went above what it required on one exercise- the hip thrust- I did double.

I am going to be posting here what I did as Sparkpeople has no strength thing like the cardio thing (as far as I know).

Today I did:
3X30 second quadrupled planks
3x8 Bodyweight Tricep Extensions-Wall
6x12 Hip Thrusts- Two Leg
3x8 Girl Pushups

Boy oh boy, I forgot I had these muscles- espesialy triceps. Phew. Gotta keep at it though- I wished on a star for some serious motivation and so far it isn't failing me. I think if I push a little bit everyday, I am going to see the results I desire. I just have to close my eyes and I'll be there before I even realize.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPUNKYDUCKY 11/24/2012 12:24PM

    Sounds like a great workout!

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DOLPHINSINGER72 11/13/2012 7:38PM

    SP lets you track your strength exercises as well as Cardio. Just type "plank" and it lets you chose different kind of planking exercises and put in your sets and reps . Thought I would let you know so you can get your points for your exercises. :)

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