Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Since our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this student to breed.
This student is really not so much of a has-been as more of a definite won't-be.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
He's been working with glue too much.
He would argue with a signpost.
He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Had two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other _____ and made it to conception.
One neuron short of a synapse.
Some drink from a fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
Takes him 11/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
His wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Remember I post these in fun. Nothing is for real.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
YOU KNOW YOU TEACH MIDDLE SCHOOL IF...
...you empty your pockets at night and find
1. two used hall passes
2. one unused bus pass
3. a pencil stub
4. no money (you spent your change in the faculty room candy stash)
5. a note with a drawing of Satan and two expletives that needed deleting
...you brag to your spouse about how many parent phone calls you got done today
...your relatives refuse to attend one of your parties if "it's going to be mostly teachers" because they all talk shop
...you keep trying those techniques that were recommended by experts during the latest pendulum swing
... you walk the halls of your building and unconsciously pick up litter
... you are irritated by adults who chew gum in public
... your spouse surreptitiously reads the paper at dinner while you describe your day
... you plan your seating chart so that the short kids can't hide behind bigger ones
... you have seen firsthand what gum wrappers and pennies can do to a floppy disk drive
... you write your name conspicuously on all personal objects, including your car keys, your masking tape, your textbook, and your chair.
... you sometimes choose to pretend not to hear comments that were perfectly intelligible to everyone else who was in the room
... you know what your classroom door sounds like when slammed mightily
... you have classroom rules about where people may put their feet
... you know what the ventilation fan in your room sounds like when whirling small objects, usually folded paper or wrappers
... your librarian cringes when you sign up your class
... you tell subtle jokes in class just to see those few smiles of the ones that catch on
... your class gladly acknowledges that they watch Letterman and Rosie O'Donnell and MTV but tell you they haven't time to look at something by PBS during prime time
... you despise Halloween candy, Christmas candy, and Valentine candy
... your students prefer current events stories that deal with rape, murder, electrocution, and demonic possession
... one of your students writes to Congress (on your nickel) to complain about some cigarette butts thrown into a local lake
... you still can't believe you allowed yourself to be sucked into an argument regarding whether Beanie Babies should be allowed in class
... you know at least three ways to remove objectionable doodles from textbooks so the next user will not be offended
... your team goes out for dinner to celebrate the news that your biggest headache is moving to another district
... you clean desks yourself just to keep the place looking nice and to help your own morale
... a mother calls to chew you out because you have ignored her son's project only to learn from you that it must be the one that has sat on the chalkrail for weeks with the words "Whose? Is this yours?" written above it.
... your colleagues claim you inspected a blank student agenda in study hall and said, "Let me guess: All your teachers have been absent for the last month and a half."
Saturday, September 18, 2010
And I stole it from GroovyChick who stole it from Turtle421
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? I don't travel.
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? I like the bottom tucked in, but the sides loose.
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No
5. Do you like to use post-it notes? I use them at school a lot.
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Yes
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? let's see, bear - yeah eaten, bees - allergic so I am dead either way.
8. Do you have freckles? nope
9. Do you always smile for pictures? Pictures you pose for? Yes
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? people who think they know everything
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? not usually
12. Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes
13. What about pooped in the woods? Yes again
14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? Sometimes
15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? sometimes
16. How many people have you slept with this week? No one
17. What size is your bed? Queen
18. What is your Song of the week? Brown, yeah I am a Kindergarten teacher
19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I am not a fan of it, but if they want to they can.
20. Do you still watch cartoons? no
21. What's your least favorite movie? vampire
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? behind my house
23. What do you drink with dinner? iced tea
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? nothing
25. What is your favorite food? today - pizza
26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? A circle of Children, Lean on Me
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? one of my kids
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? yes
29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? 2008 a letter to my late parents
31. Can you change the oil on a car? no
32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? yes
33. Ran out of gas? Not yet
34. Favorite kind of sandwich? PBJ
35 Best thing to eat for breakfast? french toast
36. What is your usual bedtime? Around 11:00
37. Are you lazy? No
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I honestly don't remember
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? horse
40. How many languages can you speak? used to speak German, but now just English
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Diabetic Living
42..Which are better Legos or lincoln logs? Legos
43. Are you stubborn? usually
44. Who is better.. Letterman
45. Ever watch soap operas? Used to but I don't anymore.
46. Afraid of heights? Yes I am!!!
47. Sing in the car? Yes I do
48. Dance in the shower? no
49. Dance in the car? sometimes
50. Ever used a gun? Yes, but I don't like them
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? March
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? NO
53. Is Christmas stressful? No
54. Ever eat a pierogi? no.
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? cherry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? physical therapist
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Definitely
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? all the time
59. Take a vitamin daily? yes every day
60. Wear slippers? only when it is cold
61. Wear a bath robe? not usually
62. What do you wear to bed? Snoopy St. Patrick lounging pants and a tee shirt
63. First concert? Elvis Presley
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target
65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas
66.Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? sunflower seeds
68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No
69. Ever take dance lessons? Yes I took ballet for several years
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Whatever makes him happy
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes
72. Ever won a spelling bee? No I am a terrible speller. Thank god for spell check
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes
74. Own any record albums? yes
75. Own a record player? yes, but it is broken
76. Regularly burn incense? gives me migraines
77. Ever been in love? yep
78. Who would you like to see in concert? Beach Boys
79. What was the last concert you saw? Elvis Presley
80.Hot tea or cold tea? both
81.Tea or coffee? tea
82. Sugar or snickerdoodles? snickerdoodles
83.Can you swim well? I can swim.
84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes
85. Are you patient? yes... I need to be because I am a special needs teacher
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ
87.Ever won a contest? No
88. Ever have plastic surgery? No.
89. Which are better black or green olives? black
90.Can you knit or crochet? crochet only. I can't knit past the first row.
91. Best room for a fireplace? family room
92. Do you want to get married? I am married
93. If married, how long have you been married? 32 years
94. Who was your HS crush? I don't remember
95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No
96. Do you have kids? Yes, three grown
97. Do you want kids? nope, done with that part; now grandchildren is a different question.
98. What's your favorite color? blue
99. Do you miss anyone right now? yes my late father
100. Did you watch Next Great American Band on FOX? No.
Hope you enjoyed!
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