PUNKYB830   18,132
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Learning to live again

Saturday, February 19, 2011

****I moved this down to the blog from my spark page because I wanted to keep this entry as a reminder of where I have come in my journey,but I wanted to make over the sparkpage.****

It has truely been one of the hardest years of my life! As many of you know my husband was murdered in front of me March of 2008. I have never really lost anyone in my life other than an older friend as a teen and my Grandma who I knew was going to die well in advance. I had greived those people, but it was nothing like losing my husband of 14 years and the father of my children. NOw I am here learning how to be on my own with our two kids and this last year has just been about getting through how ever we could. We've ate more fast food in the last year than most people have in their life time, simply because sitting down to a normal dinner doesn't feel so good when someone is missing.

Well court was friday and the killer is in prison so that is said and done and now it is time to try and move on and live the best life I can live for these kids because I am all they have left. I am tired of being fat and feeling miserable and using food to get me through all these stresses in life. I have got to learn to live again. God spared me that day and for whatever reason the gun jammed and I was not killed, I owe it to God my family and myself to do the best with this second chance that I have been given. It is not going to be easy and I may cry and fight myself every step of the way, but one way or another I am going to get healthy!

THank all of you who have supported me this last year with all your kind words and prayers, I will never forget it. Please keep praying for me as I try to get healthy and learn to raise these kids on my own. I need all the help I can get. Any tips and advice is always welcome.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSEMARDORF 2/22/2011 11:44PM

  Hi, Lady you have my support!! We can do this!! You can do this!! Yes those kids
need you; and so does your grandson!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Wishing you all of the best!

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PUNKYB830 2/22/2011 3:18PM

    Thank you all for the support. Please note that the blog was just moving my sparkpage down into my blog so that I could redo my sparkpage but still keep the old to follow my journey,so the blog was actually how I felt a little over a year ago. I have came so much further since that time than the blog would reflect. Thank you all for your continued support it really means alot to me. I love you all, J

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KATHI214 2/22/2011 11:07AM

    Welcome back to Sparkpeople. You have been through alot, but now that you have gotten past the court stuff it is time to take care of yourself and look toward the future. Nothing good is ever easy but you can do it, taking one step at a time. If I can help or you need to vent I'm here for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EMILYBBB 2/20/2011 1:52PM


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.DUSTY. 2/19/2011 9:51PM


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DIFROMWYOMING 2/19/2011 9:48PM

    Bless you and I am so sorry about all you've gone through but you are right, it's time to pull yourself together to be strong for your children and create a life that will honor and celebrate all your husband gave to you all. SP is a wonderful place to find a 'home' of supportive friends. I wish you all the best in your journey here. emoticon

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have been without internet for so long so updates where hard just stopping in the library on occassion. Anyway here I am. I haven't really got to tell you all about my Grandson Clayton. I call him Jitterbug Jitter for short because he is always excited. He is 6 months now and so much fun. He is not crawling yet but I suspect there is some sneaky going on cause you leave the room and suddenly come back and some how he has a hold of something and you better bet he is not supose to have it, lol you will see what I mean in the picture. He loves home and is as happy as can be here, but not a big fan of leaving the house. He doesn't get upset just doesn't seem as happy, well to me anyway. He loves singing, I sing to him all day and of course patty cake. Hates baby food he wants the big people stuff and he is a cracker freak he can put down a cracker before you blink. Before he came along I slept all day, now I am up sometimes at 3 am ready to start the day with him. He has quite the personality. I have a zillion pics of him on my old computer but just got this one yesterday so I will be uploading pics as I get them. I hope you nare all doing good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSEMARDORF 1/28/2011 12:40AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticonHave fun with your Grandson!!
Good to hear from you!!

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COSMIC_ENERGY 1/27/2011 7:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Checking in

Thursday, July 08, 2010

I dont have internet right now so I only get to check in when I get to the library. Doing okay losing about one pound a week. I had to cut back on some of the weight loss stuff due to money but I still go to Tops. I will be a Grandma by the 27th. The doctor said today he will induce by then. The baby is to big lol he is a healthy boy. I am all excited and can hardly wait. I hope you all are doing well. I will check in as I can.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLONG8 9/8/2010 8:03PM

    Best of luck to you and enjoy your grandson...

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CANBDONE 8/30/2010 6:41PM

    the best is yet to come...you'll find that baby will bring much healing! emoticon

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KATHI214 7/20/2010 9:29AM

    Congrats on becoming a grandmother - you have alot of fun ahead of you! Hope everything goes smoothly. Even though you don't have internet, don't let that keep you away from your goal. We are all here for you when you can check in. Keep up the great work! emoticon emoticon

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SHERRYCHERIE 7/12/2010 3:40PM

  Oh, this is such wonderful news! You'll LOVE having a grandbaby!! Congratulations, Punky!:)

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QUIETCUPOFTEA 7/11/2010 10:29AM

    you look way to young to be a grandmother :)
congrats and keep us posted! emoticon

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ROSEMARDORF 7/9/2010 12:19AM

  Glad to hear from you!! Way to go on your weight loss!! Congrats on your grandson: hope everthing goes well!! My grandaughter was born on July 27: will soon be nine years old. Enjoy, they grow up to fast!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Glad to see you!!
Congrats on your new grandson!! emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 7/8/2010 10:23PM

    Yay! Glad to hear you continue to lose weight. Sorry you don't have internet. It's a hard thing to do without, but puts you right into your REAL life. Fingers crossed all goes well with the birth! Congrats!

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It is all in the leader

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I go to all these groups now trying to have a life outside of sitting at home on the couch. So now I am involved in Tops, Weight watchers, curves and I go to classes 4 days a week plus meet with my therapist every other week. So I am starting to feel like I have a life for the first time in a long time. I take a little bit from every different group and it gets me from one week to the next. BUt I can tell you there is a huge difference depending on who is leading the group. I stopped in weight watchers about two three months ago no planning on joining at all I just needed to kill some time waiting to pick up my son from an appointment. Well this lady named Vickie was doing the meeting and she was awesome. She was so up beat and excited and very stern but yet very sweet and she really seemed to know her stuff. I was on the edge of my seat the whole meeting and I wanted to hear more of what she had to say, so the next week I was back with bells on and I joined. Every week I look forward to hearing her speak. I had been before and thought the place was a dud. So tonight I went in thinking it was vickies class and for waht ever reason she was not there. New girl and I was not the least bit impressed. We played a game that was fun and she was nice, but she just did not have the spunk. So I fell eh tonight. THey all present the same program every week, but it is the one with the energy that pumps me up. I say if you want the people in your life to follow in your healthy foot steps you have to get excited about what you are doing, you have to know your stuff and present it in a way that makes them want to follow along. IF you ho hum about it and act like you really don't care they won't care either. So pep it up!!! Get excited!!! You will feel better and so will those around you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NO_SNOW_BODY 5/21/2010 8:10PM

    I actually have a leader at WW that I don't like but it is the only meeting that fits into my schedule right now, I think there are some great leaders on Spark people though and I love all my friends here

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DYNAMICDEB53 5/21/2010 8:02PM

    yes I agree it it your excitement that gets you going in this matter of good health. Keep having that motivation!!!!
Great attitude.

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ROSEMARDORF 5/21/2010 11:33AM

  Way to go on getting some life for yourself!! I am glad you are doing this for you!!
The one you like should be back at weight watchers!!! Have a great weekend!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PJCHILIS 5/21/2010 8:25AM

    So true about the presentation. She'll be back.--PJ

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LISAWILLBEFIT 5/20/2010 8:07PM

    I agree i am a single mom of 3 and dont have a sitter i trust ir any family so it is really hard to get out.I didd get on the board of my community centre and i love it.You are correct getting out makes a huge difference and especially with a great motivator.Lisa

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Saturday, May 08, 2010

I got to feel my first grand baby kick for the first time the other day. I am so excited!!!! He will be here in two short months. MY house looks like somebody threw up baby, lol. THere is baby stuff every where!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DYNAMICDEB53 5/10/2010 1:48PM

    How exciting!!! I am so happy for you!! I cant wait till that happens to me, being a first time gramma for my own sons.
Have lots of fun with it and you know you do need to get into shape it wont be that long before he or she will keep you running. :D

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PJCHILIS 5/9/2010 9:29AM

    How wonderful, life goes on!!--PJ

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ROSEMARDORF 5/9/2010 1:09AM

  Hi,PUNKIE, It is great that you got to feel the baby kick!!! Congratulations!!!
Have a Great MOTHER's DAY!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 5/8/2010 4:39PM

    Fun stuff! You have so much more excitement and purpose in your voice. I remember those first days at Sparks. You are moving forward making your way in life in this new phase. Congrats.

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ONECOOKIETWO 5/8/2010 4:25PM

    Congratulations on getting kicked!! You lucky gramma!
Here's a fun thing to do to play with the baby in utero:
Get a pocket flashlight and hold it against your daughter's belly near where you think the baby's head is. He may see it and react, maybe punch in that direction and you can move it around to entertain him. Get a small tape or mp3 player, cue up something from Mozart, and hold it against her stomach. He might like the music too!
Have fun, and may momma, baby and gramma stay in the best of health.

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