As usual... I was doing something really great and life happened. I made it through boot camp at the beginning of August. I didn't lose any weight but lost 6" off my body.. I could see results. Then life happened. My grandfather died, I started a new job, blah, blah... and I haven't worked out in a month.
I know what I need to do... just need to do it. I am having an internal struggle with working out with others or working out by myself. If I work out with 'my friends' I have a tendency to not work as hard or give up. It's easy to tell them no or make up excuses.
When I work out by myself ... I can think about things. In some strange way I push myself harder... almost as if I am not afraid to fail cause my friends aren't around. Working out by myself doesn't just mean alone. It means I am also working out in exercise classes where I don't know anyone. The downside, I am finding that my friends (one in particular) make me feel guilty for working out on my own. As if it is my fault they are not exercising because I am not with them. And because of this ... I am not working out at all.
How do I make that emotional break? How do I make this person understand, it's not them... its what I have to do?
Another obstacle I am finding, my work schedule is making it hard to do any classes at the gym. Luckily the weather is getting more bearable and I can start riding my bike again or walking in the neighborhood without working about heat stroke.
I know what I need to do... I just need to do it.
I want to succeed and I can't wait for the day that I write about successes on here instead of obstacles.
I have to say I have really surprised myself on sticking with it. I know it has only been 2 1/2 weeks but usually by week 2 I am fading. Boot camp has been challenging and rewarding so far for me. My body is freaking out. I pulled muscles in my thigh in week 1 and 2. This week, I have been having issues with my ankles BUT I realize it is just my body adjusting to the workload. I am not allowing myself to stop.
A little motivation for me to keep continuing is my clothes are fitting better. I also feel healthy. I did an unofficial measuring this morning and in 2 1/2 weeks I have lost 1 1/2 inches on my waist, 1 1/2 inches on my hips, 1 inch on my thighs, 1 inch on my arms, and 1 inch on my chest. Unbelievable!
My food intake is getting better. I am eating less junk and even starting to purchase more 'whole' foods as my trainer calls them. When I buy eggs and meat I now look for 'vegetarian fed' on the packaging.
This has been a true transition for me and I am making positive changes. When boot camp ends, I am trying to decide if I am going to sign up again or take what I have learned and just do classes for a month at the YMCA. I would like to see if I can put in to practice all that I have learned but I am also not sure I feel ready to make all of the decisions on my own. It's all about baby steps for me to ensure my success.
Wow... I made it through the week. I do have a hamstring pull but I am ok. Last night was tough because I couldn't complete the work out like I wanted do to the pull. I modified everything I did but couldn't really "try".
I have all ready noticed a difference in how my clothes fit. Which is really incredible. I have only had 3 workouts! I am going to try very hard to stay off the scale until I complete the boot camp. I am sure my body is doing crazy things with my weight right now.
Tonight I took a step forward that will truly lead to success. I have been so stubborn in my issues with weight loss. I thought I needed to do it on my own. Even though at times I would say, "I need help." I never reached out to get it.
Tonight I took the leap off the cliff... I joined the Boot Camp at the local YMCA. While I body was being physically exhausted, I was having a mental epiphany. I released the negativity that I have been holding in for years... I let it go. I no longer felt as if I was setting myself up to fail. I said MANY times throughout the 90 minute interval workout, "I CAN DO THIS." I wasn't just talking about the workout. I was talking about finally reaching success with my weight loss. It's about being healthy... if I can be healthy, I will lose weight. No more excuses.. no turning back. For the first time... typing this feels real not like something I am supposed to say or feel... I feel it. It's part of me.
The trainer leading the class was motivating, understanding, and challenging all at the same time. After the workout, I asked him some questions about stretching and back issues I am having.. this led to a very candid but motivating conversation about this being a complete transformation not just getting active... its changing my eating and mindset as well. He helped me set some eating and activity goals. He made me feel good about the steps I am taking to reach my goal.
This is the first time while I have been battling my issues I can see hope. I feel I will be able to do this... and it feels real.