Monday, December 08, 2014
Twice in the past when I have lost a considerable amount of weight, certain triggers (words) caused me to deliberately regain it. The first time (many years ago), I lost a lot of weight in TOPS, but when a friend told me that her husband had told her, “Whatever you do, don’t get skinny like Barbara!” I deliberately regained the weight!
The second time was a few years ago with SparkPeople. The weight loss showed dramatically in my (formerly fat) face and a male friend cautioned me not to lose any more weight, “… because some people look gaunt!” I deliberately regained the weight!
This troubled me a lot. I wondered what deep, subconscious motive I had to be fat:
a desire to protect myself from unwanted sexual advances (when I was young)?
to please my overweight relatives so I would be more like them?
to “eat” my love?
to “please” these men I was not even attracted to except one in a brotherly way?
But the answer was right in front of me! I actually remember thinking as I stood in front of the open fridge looking for something to eat, “I’ll PROVE that I really am fat!”
It finally dawned on me in my old age that my problem was not a deep secret that my mind did not want to remember, but that I SAW MYSELF AS FAT! I was called “fat” all my life by well-meaning, but ignorant people. I believed lies, which I lived up to and made truths.
The truth has set me free! When I do my five-minute pep talk every morning, I am sure to tell myself:
I had rather be criticized for being thin than for being fat!
I am thin and energetic!
I DESERVE to be thin and energetic!
God created by body fearfully and wonderfully!
My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; it is NOT a garbage can!
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Several things have come together serendipitously that have encouraged me to start over.
Last Sunday our minister was speaking about making God the number one priority in our lives, and among other things, he said DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! I do want God to be the prevailing priority in my life, but the rule applies to all goal seeking.
Then I watched Steve Siebold’s video on STARTING OVER, which made me realize that my backsliding doesn’t mean I have to give up. There are times when it is necessary to start over; this is one of them!
Wednesday I read NEVERORNOW’s blog that she wrote on Friday, April 27, expressing her thoughts on the NEVER QUIT pledge that is going around SparkPeople. She said that before SP, she’d have quit and gone back to all her old habits and undone all the progress she has made. (She has lost 60 pounds!) I was on the verge of doing the same thing! (Again!) Like Karen, I have been inspired repeatedly by articles, blogs, challenges, and messages on SP. However, I have been away for such a long time, it was very tempting to throw in the towel … again. If I had, I know I would never have tried to lose weight again; I was standing on the edge of a cliff! If anyone reading this is discourage, I recommend her blog!
Notes to myself:
(1) STARTING OVER
> Put this on my SparkPage as my new beginning, using dates to track my progress as well as my struggles.
> Read THE SPARK again
> Follow the steps in THE SPARK (I’ve been working on [read “fiddling around with”] a vision board for more than a year!)
> Use more recipes from THE SPARKPEOPLE COOKBOOK. (Those I have used are delicious!)
(2) DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
> Get to bed early enough to get a good night’s sleep!
> Sign in to SP every day
> Be open and honest with my weigh-in. (Log it weekly, even if it is a gain.)
> Be open and honest with my food tracker. (Allow others to see it.)
(3) NEVER QUIT!
I am signing the pledge here and now AND I’m copying it and posting it on my fridge … or pantry!
Today, I promise I will not quit.
I pledge that no matter, how many ups and
downs I pass through,
I will continue on my journey.
I pledge to make a NEW START today,
and forgive myself for my past,
and to stop being so critical of myself.
I pledge to take control of myself,
To stop making excuses,
And stop blaming other people or situations.
I pledge to treat myself as I would my Best
Because that is who I am.
I pledge to stay in the race
and to be a WINNER.
Signed – Barbara (Puglover1999) 5-3-12
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
This (first paragraph) is a comment I made on Nancy Howard’s blog, “Is Endurance Exercise the Fountain of Youth?” I have wanted to share these things on SP and this seems to be the perfect time!
I am excited about the changes that exercise and losing a little more than 20 pounds have done for me! Yes, I exercise for more reasons than to lose weight! I am almost 72 years old, am a little crippled, have arthritis, etc.! However, I am now completely off medication for cholesterol (Mine is perfect!) and my medicine for hypertension has been reduced by half. (My blood pressure is perfect, too. I'm hoping my doctor will eventually take me off the medicine completely. It's hard for her to believe I can do it because I've been taking it for 22 years!) The other day I worked hard all day long, including walking on my treadmill, ironing and vacuuming and shampooing carpet. When I was finished, I was very tired, but my legs did not hurt a bit! Before I started exercising, I could only do ONE of those things per day, and only for about one hour per day! I had to rest with my feet up for the remains of the day! I also used to have spinal injections once every three months ... haven't had one since June 2010! I'd say YES, exercise (combined with the weight loss) has made my body younger and more energetic! AND, I only exercise moderately 30 - 40 minutes a day, at least three days a week (more when I can). I AM A BELIEVER IN EXERCISE!
Other things have been whirling around in my mind, too, not the least of which is my problem with focusing! There are so many things I want to accomplish / blog about, etc. my mind keeps going off on tangents – or rabbit trails, as I’ve heard them called. (I have a hard time deciding which rabbit to chase!)
Today I am focusing on CONSISTENCY! I have set a mini goal of CONSISTENTLY STAYING WITHIN MY 1400-CALORIE LIMIT FOR 10 DAYS!
I chose 10 days as my goal because that was the limit Daniel chose when he MADE UP HIS MIND not to defile himself with the “king’s choice food or … wine.” I do not choose a veggie and water diet as he did, but I do choose the 1400 calories limit. By living within that limit, I will eats lots of fruits and veggies and drink plenty of water. My calories will be nutritious and delicious!
I will count down on my daily status report.
I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND! Here goes!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
What’s going on here? I have struggled from the beginning, but was always encouraged by slow changes that were good! I even thought for a while that I was truly being transformed into a self-disciplined, healthy-eating, exercising-regularly old woman who was looking younger because of my weight loss and increased energy!
PRIDE goes before a FALL!
I’ve been having too many slow changes that are destructive.Today’s reading on the scale brought me to a halt! Whoa! (WOE!) I do not want to keep going in that direction! It’s time for some self examination!
What’s gong on? SELF DECEIT! (Pride always is!)
I’ve been telling myself I don’t have time …!
Yes, I DO have time to sign on to SPARKPEOPLE!
Yes, I DO have time to TRACK EVERY BITE!
Yes, I DO KNOW IT IS AN INVESTMENT in achieving my weight-loss / life-changing goals!
Yes, I DO NEED the help / encouragement I get from reading what others are experiencing on their journey.
What to do? WHATEVERITTAKES!
Admit I cannot do it alone! I NEED SPARKPEOPLE! (Sounds like AA!)
As Steve Siebold says, I am the problem and I am the solution! It’s up to me … with help from SP! (I wrote that on a 3x5 card and put it on my mirror!)
1) Limit calories to 1400 and track every one!
2) Start drinking water earlier in the day to help me feel fuller all day and get a better night’s sleep (not having to get up so often)!
3) Thank God for my blessings, including SPARKPEOPLE!
a.Remember what Chris Downie said:
i. Pep Talk: I can change who I am by changing what I say to myself. Actually God said it first in Proverbs 23:7 and 2 Corinthians 10:5. (I am healthy and energetic!)
ii. Journal daily. I do not write as interestingly or as cleverly as others, but I need to EXPRESS MY FRUSTRATIONS & SMALL STEPS OF PROGRESS. Writing is for my benefit, not for my popularity!
iii. Streaks! Meeting small goals makes me feel better about myself. (I can go for a lot of that!)
Saturday, February 05, 2011
I read Nancy Howard’s blog, EXCUSES GIVE US PERMISSION TO FAIL, and as I promised in my comment, I copied her blog to save to my computer and inserted my own excuses / permissions to fail that did indeed lead to “failure” (NAY! Setbacks that I have learned from!) this week:
1. Lunch w/ a friend from 1:00 -5:00 on Monday! It was great; I had not eaten much at all and had a great time with my friend! Then I ate way too much for supper and afterward! I COULDA had a great day! Instead, I blew it with SELF-INDULGENCE, thinking I could have a free-for-all with my calorie allotment the rest of the evening! LESSON: SHOULDA eaten a healthy meal to end the day and been happy for the satisfaction of emotional hunger’s being more than satisfied with friendship (instead of celebrating with so much food)!
2. Merry Maids on Tuesday. I resent their TIME at my house when I want to be alone. LESSON: SHOULDA been more THANKFUL for the work they do that I cannot do! SHOULDA been more flexible with “my time!” SHOULDA remembered that time is not mine! SHOULDA not eaten out of frustration because my schedule had been interrupted.
3. Dinner at Chili’s on Wednesday. What a menu to choose something low-calorie / healthy from! However, I COULDA had a salad! I COULDA eaten HALF of the burger and fries! I made a wrong choice. I made several wrong choices from the time I did not eat enough at lunch and left home hungry. I chose to eat a package of crackers before I got out of our subdivision. My next wrong choice was at Starbucks. I ordered vanilla scones for my granddaughter (Yeah!) and ate one before I arrived at the traffic light! By the time I ordered dinner, I had already eaten two things I “SHOULDA not” eaten. That was NO REASON! It was a very poor excuse to order poorly at Chili’s. I SHOULDA remembered Beth’s words and ORDERED SMALL! It COULDA been done! I COULDA rescued the day! LESSON: I need to remember that NOW IS THE TIME TO order small / eat right, no matter what wrong choices I have made earlier!
4. Another excuse I’ve used all week is my sleep deprivation which has been due to several different things, some avoidable, some not. I’ve learned that sleep deprivation is a major trigger for my overeating. I COULDA gotten more sleep! LESSON: Be disciplined about getting to bed before 11:00PM!
I’m paying for my “excuses” with a gain today. My heart COULD be singing with the excitement of success and the self-respect that is a result of self-discipline / self-control. It SHOULDA been! LESSON: FOCUS more on my goals; make a VISION STATEMENT; LEARN from these mistakes and don’t make them again! Remember that SMALL THINGS DONE CONSISTENTLY LEAD TO BIG CHANGES! Give myself CREDIT for doing some things right, e.g., thinking on these things and determining to learn from my mistakes and keep heading toward my goals. This is the time in my efforts to change my lifestyle that I usually decide I’m destined to be fat. That is a lie I am not going to accept anymore! I am working to see myself as a thin, healthy, energetic old woman! I am also determined to drink MORE WATER – even if it does seem that it WOULD be more efficient to pour it straight into the toilet!
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