PUGLOVER1999   26,328
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The TRUTH is FREEING!

Monday, December 08, 2014

Twice in the past when I have lost a considerable amount of weight, certain triggers (words) caused me to deliberately regain it. The first time (many years ago), I lost a lot of weight in TOPS, but when a friend told me that her husband had told her, “Whatever you do, don’t get skinny like Barbara!” I deliberately regained the weight!

The second time was a few years ago with SparkPeople. The weight loss showed dramatically in my (formerly fat) face and a male friend cautioned me not to lose any more weight, “… because some people look gaunt!” I deliberately regained the weight!

This troubled me a lot. I wondered what deep, subconscious motive I had to be fat:

emoticon a desire to protect myself from unwanted sexual advances (when I was young)?
emoticon to please my overweight relatives so I would be more like them?
emoticon to “eat” my love?
emoticon to “please” these men I was not even attracted to except one in a brotherly way?
emoticon Etc.

But the answer was right in front of me! I actually remember thinking as I stood in front of the open fridge looking for something to eat, “I’ll PROVE that I really am fat!”

It finally dawned on me in my old age that my problem was not a deep secret that my mind did not want to remember, but that I SAW MYSELF AS FAT! I was called “fat” all my life by well-meaning, but ignorant people. I believed lies, which I lived up to and made truths.

The truth has set me free! When I do my five-minute pep talk every morning, I am sure to tell myself:

emoticon I had rather be criticized for being thin than for being fat!
emoticon I am thin and energetic!
emoticon I DESERVE to be thin and energetic!
emoticon God created by body fearfully and wonderfully!
emoticon My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; it is NOT a garbage can!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 12/13/2014 3:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

People meaning well often really try to sabotage us! We have a hard enough time not sabotaging ourselves - quit listening to others.

I've heard it all and guess what?! Most of these "caring" people are bigger than me. Pretty much that says it all. Can you say "jealousy?" That really isn't the only correct word as many that say those same things to me aren't jealous, but I was the fattest in the land for so long that people just don't know how to handle the thinner me.

Guess what else?! Some of these same people have now dropped a lot of weight and I no longer hear how "too thin" I am.

Go look in your mirror. The person looking at you is the only one you have to please.

Bless you today for visiting me - I am so glad I found your blog and I voted for it!

huggers!

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 12/9/2014 8:29AM

    Amen!

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CAKAROO 12/9/2014 5:14AM

    emoticon

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TWIRLNYC 12/8/2014 8:59PM

    emoticon

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UKNOWITNOW 12/8/2014 8:57PM

  Amen emoticon

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STARTING OVER / DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES / NEVER QUITTING!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Several things have come together serendipitously that have encouraged me to start over.

Last Sunday our minister was speaking about making God the number one priority in our lives, and among other things, he said DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! I do want God to be the prevailing priority in my life, but the rule applies to all goal seeking.

Then I watched Steve Siebold’s video on STARTING OVER, which made me realize that my backsliding doesn’t mean I have to give up. There are times when it is necessary to start over; this is one of them!

Wednesday I read NEVERORNOW’s blog that she wrote on Friday, April 27, expressing her thoughts on the NEVER QUIT pledge that is going around SparkPeople. She said that before SP, she’d have quit and gone back to all her old habits and undone all the progress she has made. (She has lost 60 pounds!) I was on the verge of doing the same thing! (Again!) Like Karen, I have been inspired repeatedly by articles, blogs, challenges, and messages on SP. However, I have been away for such a long time, it was very tempting to throw in the towel … again. If I had, I know I would never have tried to lose weight again; I was standing on the edge of a cliff! If anyone reading this is discourage, I recommend her blog!

Notes to myself:

(1) STARTING OVER
> Put this on my SparkPage as my new beginning, using dates to track my progress as well as my struggles.
> Read THE SPARK again
> Follow the steps in THE SPARK (I’ve been working on [read “fiddling around with”] a vision board for more than a year!)
> Use more recipes from THE SPARKPEOPLE COOKBOOK. (Those I have used are delicious!)

(2) DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
> Get to bed early enough to get a good night’s sleep!
> Sign in to SP every day
> Be open and honest with my weigh-in. (Log it weekly, even if it is a gain.)
> Be open and honest with my food tracker. (Allow others to see it.)

(3) NEVER QUIT!

I am signing the pledge here and now AND I’m copying it and posting it on my fridge … or pantry! 






NEVER QUIT

Today, I promise I will not quit.
I pledge that no matter, how many ups and
downs I pass through,
I will continue on my journey.

I pledge to make a NEW START today,
and forgive myself for my past,
and to stop being so critical of myself.

I pledge to take control of myself,
To stop making excuses,
And stop blaming other people or situations.

I pledge to treat myself as I would my Best
Friend,
Because that is who I am.

I pledge to stay in the race
and to be a WINNER.

Signed – Barbara (Puglover1999) 5-3-12


  


BEYOND WEIGHT LOSS …

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

This (first paragraph) is a comment I made on Nancy Howard’s blog, “Is Endurance Exercise the Fountain of Youth?” I have wanted to share these things on SP and this seems to be the perfect time!

I am excited about the changes that exercise and losing a little more than 20 pounds have done for me! Yes, I exercise for more reasons than to lose weight! I am almost 72 years old, am a little crippled, have arthritis, etc.! However, I am now completely off medication for cholesterol (Mine is perfect!) and my medicine for hypertension has been reduced by half. (My blood pressure is perfect, too. I'm hoping my doctor will eventually take me off the medicine completely. It's hard for her to believe I can do it because I've been taking it for 22 years!) The other day I worked hard all day long, including walking on my treadmill, ironing and vacuuming and shampooing carpet. When I was finished, I was very tired, but my legs did not hurt a bit! Before I started exercising, I could only do ONE of those things per day, and only for about one hour per day! I had to rest with my feet up for the remains of the day! I also used to have spinal injections once every three months ... haven't had one since June 2010! I'd say YES, exercise (combined with the weight loss) has made my body younger and more energetic! AND, I only exercise moderately 30 - 40 minutes a day, at least three days a week (more when I can). I AM A BELIEVER IN EXERCISE!

Other things have been whirling around in my mind, too, not the least of which is my problem with focusing! There are so many things I want to accomplish / blog about, etc. my mind keeps going off on tangents – or rabbit trails, as I’ve heard them called. (I have a hard time deciding which rabbit to chase!)
emoticon

Today I am focusing on CONSISTENCY! I have set a mini goal of CONSISTENTLY STAYING WITHIN MY 1400-CALORIE LIMIT FOR 10 DAYS!

I chose 10 days as my goal because that was the limit Daniel chose when he MADE UP HIS MIND not to defile himself with the “king’s choice food or … wine.” I do not choose a veggie and water diet as he did, but I do choose the 1400 calories limit. By living within that limit, I will eats lots of fruits and veggies and drink plenty of water. My calories will be nutritious and delicious!

I will count down on my daily status report.

I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND! Here goes!

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHATTIEGIRL 9/9/2011 8:42PM

    Hi Barbara;

I am a few years younger than you but I believe in exercise also. I was up too 5 miles a day and over 14,400 steps a day. I do cardio and strength every day but different exercises so each day is not as much. eat 5 to 12 fresh fruits and veggies every day. I just have been off the last couple of months because of chemo and then when I started to get my strength back I broke and sprained 3 toes walk my miles. I will get back to my exercise and I changed to chair exercises and there are 7 of them. So I didn't stop totally. Keep up your good work in stay healthy. God bless you always. Learn something new each day.

Smile Joyce

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SINABUNN 7/6/2011 4:33PM

    Oh, I just love it! You sound so upbeat and full of confidence!!! I just wanna hug your little neck! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSFARCHROX 7/6/2011 9:07AM

    Love it!

emoticon

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NOELLIEMAE 7/5/2011 7:07PM

    SUPER :)

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MELIVA 7/5/2011 2:03PM

    Great Blog!!

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SINNIBLONDE 7/5/2011 1:34PM

    Love your blog! I'll be 60 in December, so no excuses for me! LOL

Congrats on much improv4ed health -- that's what I am aiming for, too!

:)
Debb

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What’s gong on here? Oh … THAT!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

What’s going on here? I have struggled from the beginning, but was always encouraged by slow changes that were good! I even thought for a while that I was truly being transformed into a self-disciplined, healthy-eating, exercising-regularly old woman who was looking younger because of my weight loss and increased energy!

PRIDE goes before a FALL!

I’ve been having too many slow changes that are destructive.Today’s reading on the scale brought me to a halt! Whoa! (WOE!) I do not want to keep going in that direction! It’s time for some self examination!

What’s gong on? SELF DECEIT! (Pride always is!)

I’ve been telling myself I don’t have time …!

Yes, I DO have time to sign on to SPARKPEOPLE!
Yes, I DO have time to TRACK EVERY BITE!
Yes, I DO KNOW IT IS AN INVESTMENT in achieving my weight-loss / life-changing goals!
Yes, I DO NEED the help / encouragement I get from reading what others are experiencing on their journey.

What to do? WHATEVERITTAKES!

Admit I cannot do it alone! I NEED SPARKPEOPLE! (Sounds like AA!)

As Steve Siebold says, I am the problem and I am the solution! It’s up to me … with help from SP! (I wrote that on a 3x5 card and put it on my mirror!)

1) Limit calories to 1400 and track every one!
2) Start drinking water earlier in the day to help me feel fuller all day and get a better night’s sleep (not having to get up so often)!
3) Thank God for my blessings, including SPARKPEOPLE!

a.Remember what Chris Downie said:

i. Pep Talk: I can change who I am by changing what I say to myself. Actually God said it first in Proverbs 23:7 and 2 Corinthians 10:5. (I am healthy and energetic!)

ii. Journal daily. I do not write as interestingly or as cleverly as others, but I need to EXPRESS MY FRUSTRATIONS & SMALL STEPS OF PROGRESS. Writing is for my benefit, not for my popularity!

iii. Streaks! Meeting small goals makes me feel better about myself. (I can go for a lot of that!)


emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLM0305 7/5/2011 12:08PM

    I LOVED your blog! Thanks for sharing a lot of things that I've been dealing with as well! I've been a SP member since August 2008 and have had too many medical set backs that have definitely set my SP goals and programs back, BUT . . . NO MORE! I take heart from thoughts & strategies so let's see where the rest of 2011 takes us! emoticon emoticon

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NOELLIEMAE 6/24/2011 2:00PM

    AHK! sometimes reality catches us off guard ;) way to recognize it and hop right back on the path! way to go chickie!

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KNASON 6/23/2011 3:03PM

    emoticon

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COULDA, SHOULDA, WOULDA

Saturday, February 05, 2011

I read Nancy Howard’s blog, EXCUSES GIVE US PERMISSION TO FAIL, and as I promised in my comment, I copied her blog to save to my computer and inserted my own excuses / permissions to fail that did indeed lead to “failure” (NAY! Setbacks that I have learned from!) this week:

1. Lunch w/ a friend from 1:00 -5:00 on Monday! It was great; I had not eaten much at all and had a great time with my friend! Then I ate way too much for supper and afterward! I COULDA had a great day! Instead, I blew it with SELF-INDULGENCE, thinking I could have a free-for-all with my calorie allotment the rest of the evening! LESSON: SHOULDA eaten a healthy meal to end the day and been happy for the satisfaction of emotional hunger’s being more than satisfied with friendship (instead of celebrating with so much food)!

2. Merry Maids on Tuesday. I resent their TIME at my house when I want to be alone. LESSON: SHOULDA been more THANKFUL for the work they do that I cannot do! SHOULDA been more flexible with “my time!” SHOULDA remembered that time is not mine! SHOULDA not eaten out of frustration because my schedule had been interrupted.

3. Dinner at Chili’s on Wednesday. What a menu to choose something low-calorie / healthy from! However, I COULDA had a salad! I COULDA eaten HALF of the burger and fries! I made a wrong choice. I made several wrong choices from the time I did not eat enough at lunch and left home hungry. I chose to eat a package of crackers before I got out of our subdivision. My next wrong choice was at Starbucks. I ordered vanilla scones for my granddaughter (Yeah!) and ate one before I arrived at the traffic light! By the time I ordered dinner, I had already eaten two things I “SHOULDA not” eaten. That was NO REASON! It was a very poor excuse to order poorly at Chili’s. I SHOULDA remembered Beth’s words and ORDERED SMALL! It COULDA been done! I COULDA rescued the day! LESSON: I need to remember that NOW IS THE TIME TO order small / eat right, no matter what wrong choices I have made earlier!

4. Another excuse I’ve used all week is my sleep deprivation which has been due to several different things, some avoidable, some not. I’ve learned that sleep deprivation is a major trigger for my overeating. I COULDA gotten more sleep! LESSON: Be disciplined about getting to bed before 11:00PM!

I’m paying for my “excuses” with a gain today. My heart COULD be singing with the excitement of success and the self-respect that is a result of self-discipline / self-control. It SHOULDA been! LESSON: FOCUS more on my goals; make a VISION STATEMENT; LEARN from these mistakes and don’t make them again! Remember that SMALL THINGS DONE CONSISTENTLY LEAD TO BIG CHANGES! Give myself CREDIT for doing some things right, e.g., thinking on these things and determining to learn from my mistakes and keep heading toward my goals. This is the time in my efforts to change my lifestyle that I usually decide I’m destined to be fat. That is a lie I am not going to accept anymore! I am working to see myself as a thin, healthy, energetic old woman! I am also determined to drink MORE WATER – even if it does seem that it WOULD be more efficient to pour it straight into the toilet!

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICHAELAL33 4/19/2011 8:18PM

    I still go out to eat a lot. I have printed copies of the menus from all my favorite restaurants, that way i make the decision before i get there. At starbucks (I go every day) I order the skinny versions of three drinks, carmel macciato, vanilla latte, or cinnamon dolche. Those have about 120 cal for a grande. If I really want a treat I order the light frappichinos, 140 cal in a grande. Make sure you get enough sleep it's easier to stay on track that way.

Remember you deserve this emoticon

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CHATTIEGIRL 4/11/2011 8:31PM

    Hi Barbara;

It is hard to get started but you can do it and you are learning from your mistakes. I use a dessert plate to eat instead of a dinner plate and put 1 spoon full of each item, veggie, meat, starch. No seconds and I have lost weight doing this. I eat brown rice and sweet potatoes for starch. A lot of veggies and fruit and plenty of water. Once you get you mind around I AM GONG TO DO THIS AND NOT FAIL you will win. I go to lunch with my friend and bring more then half of it home and have 2 meals out of it and because I am taking home no desserts. You can do things that are your ideals that can help you so go for it dear.

Continue to be focused on your healthy living and reach your goals. God bless and watch over you. Learn from Spark people every day.

Joyce

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NEVERORNOW 2/15/2011 9:07PM

    emoticonblog!! You've learned from your mistakes. That in itself is progress. And you are still here and more determined than ever. Breaking those habits can take a long time, but I know you (and I) are going to do it and be those feisty old women we are aiming to be. emoticon

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BIPOLARBEAR68 2/7/2011 12:59AM

    I REALLY LIKE YOUR BLOG. YOU STOPPED BY MY PAGE AND LEFT ME A NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND TOLD ME THAT YOU USED TO LIVE NEAR BY WHERE I LIVE NOW.

MY COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA LIST IS VERY LONG ALSO BUT I AGREE WITH THE OTHERS THAT HAVE COMMENTED ON YOUR BLOG THAT WE HAVE TO GET THERE ONE STEP AT A TIME AND THAT WE CAN AND WILL BEAT THIS. I AM GOING TO TRY TO DO YOUR SUGGESTION OF LOOKING AT IT AS JUST DOING 10 MINUTES AT A TIME. I HAVE AN EXERCISE BIKE IN MY SISTERS ROOM AND I HAVE FULL PERMISSION TO USE IT SO, I AM GOING TO START USING IT EVEN IF IT IS FOR JUST 10 MINUTES AT A TIME.

THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT

CAMI

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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 2/6/2011 12:13AM

    This is a great blog, thank you for sharing! I think many of us can identify, I know I certainly can. It seems I am always at odds with myself - my desire is one thing, yet I still do the opposite. We will beat this and we will get there. You can do it!!!
Kristi

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MALEXANDER4 2/5/2011 5:33PM

    Love this blog. I know for me the coulda, woulda, shoulda, list is long. I say one thing and most generally i'm fighting myself because i'm doing something else. we will get there one step at a time.

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