PT.JEFFGIRL   109,557
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PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

A Friend?

Monday, July 15, 2013

Sad News

Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.
She moved in with me.

  


Drinking and Driving

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Drinking and Driving

You totalled your car.
And can't remember why.
Could it have been.
That case of Bud Dry?

  


More One Liners

Saturday, July 13, 2013

It Takes Just One Line

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 7/13/2013 9:54PM

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MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/13/2013 11:58AM

    Love the One Liners. Make you think.

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One Liners

Friday, July 12, 2013

Jokes That Take One Line

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/12/2013 10:41PM

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TERMITEMOM 7/12/2013 10:21PM

    I liked these, especially the one about the bills... Isn't that the truth! emoticon

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ANDYGIRL1219 7/12/2013 10:20PM

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Irish Viagra

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Irish Viagra

(For our more sensitive readers; the following joke acknowledges the existence of intimate relations within the bounds of marriage)

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.

‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an "Irish Viagra". It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.’

It wasn’t a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’

‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.

‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and ...! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor.

‘Freakin', ’twas wonderful! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/12/2013 10:42PM

    oh my......... emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 7/9/2013 8:48PM

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MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/9/2013 8:10PM

    thanks for the laugh

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DELUDINGMYSELF 7/9/2013 8:03PM

  Thank you for the laugh! emoticon


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