PT.JEFFGIRL   99,899
SparkPoints
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
 
 
PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

More One Liners

Saturday, July 13, 2013

It Takes Just One Line

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 7/13/2013 9:54PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/13/2013 11:58AM

    Love the One Liners. Make you think.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


One Liners

Friday, July 12, 2013

Jokes That Take One Line

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/12/2013 10:41PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TERMITEMOM 7/12/2013 10:21PM

    I liked these, especially the one about the bills... Isn't that the truth! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDYGIRL1219 7/12/2013 10:20PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Irish Viagra

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Irish Viagra

(For our more sensitive readers; the following joke acknowledges the existence of intimate relations within the bounds of marriage)

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.

‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an "Irish Viagra". It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.’

It wasn’t a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’

‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.

‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and ...! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor.

‘Freakin', ’twas wonderful! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/12/2013 10:42PM

    oh my......... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKYSFRIEND 7/9/2013 8:48PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/9/2013 8:10PM

    thanks for the laugh

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DELUDINGMYSELF 7/9/2013 8:03PM

  Thank you for the laugh! emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment


Ponderable Things

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Ponderable Things

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 7/9/2013 8:50PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/5/2013 2:50PM

    emoticon

makes lot of sense. something worth thinking about. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLUGINALONG 7/4/2013 4:24PM

    Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Concerned Neighbor

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Concerned Neighbor

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 7/9/2013 8:51PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICIA214 7/4/2013 12:19AM

 

Oh Dear !!!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JACKIE542 7/4/2013 12:11AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCIEMCGOWAN 7/3/2013 11:44PM

    very funny.


emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Last Page