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PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

English School

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

  
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DOROTHYBERO 11/20/2014 10:03AM

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GRAMMYEAC 11/19/2014 9:16PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/19/2014 7:48PM

    surprise ending to that!

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LUCYCAN7 11/19/2014 7:40PM

  OMG THAT IS GREAT! emoticon THANKS FOR SHARING! emoticon

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Conch Light

Monday, November 17, 2014

In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale it was the first thing she put out.

I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out then finally bought it. "That will look great in your home," I said. "Oh it is not for me," she explained. "My bridge club is having a charity auction and we were asked to bring in the most hideous thing we can find. What I've got here is a winner."

  
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BECKYSFRIEND 11/18/2014 10:26PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/17/2014 5:20PM

    UH oh! Not the answers HE was hoping for!

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MARGOH12 11/17/2014 4:59PM

    emoticon I needed a good laugh

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In Uniform

Friday, November 14, 2014

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things.

While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little boy standing with his Mother. The boy took one look at my husband in his uniform, and his eyes grew wide. My husband in turn gave the young man a crisp salute. The boy was so excited. He pointed at my husband and announced," LOOK , MOM, A GIANT BOY SCOUT."

  
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DOROTHYBERO 11/15/2014 7:43AM

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/14/2014 10:57PM

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JTREMBATH 11/14/2014 8:14PM

    CUTE emoticon

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PYNETREE 11/14/2014 8:09PM

    Thank your "giant Boy Scout" for his service! LOL!

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GRAMMYEAC 11/14/2014 8:08PM

    Fun!!!

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MM11113 11/14/2014 7:05PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/14/2014 7:01PM

    Cute!!!

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LUCYCAN7 11/14/2014 6:51PM

  THAT IS A GOOD ONE! emoticon

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ARNETTELEE 11/14/2014 6:13PM

  How cute!

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Performance Review Terms

Thursday, November 13, 2014

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION:
Gets to work on time.

RELAXED ATTITUDE:
Sleeps at desk.

EXPERIENCED PROBLEM SOLVER:
Screws up often.

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY:
Too ugly to get a date.

INDEPENDENT WORKER:
Nobody knows what he/she does all day.

FORWARD THINKING:
Procrastinator.

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS:
Able to BS well.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Spends lots of time on phone.

LOYAL:
Can't get a job anywhere else.

  
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DOROTHYBERO 11/19/2014 8:23AM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/13/2014 5:53PM

    TRUE!!!

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DOILIEQUEEN 11/13/2014 3:38PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing.

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Funeral Procession

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

  
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DOROTHYBERO 11/13/2014 7:11AM

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  OH MY GOODNESS emoticon emoticon ENJOY YOUR DAY! emoticon emoticon

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