PT.JEFFGIRL   126,371
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PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Letter From School

Monday, November 10, 2014

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,Your $on.

A week later....the response from Dad arrived:

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraghy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 11/10/2014 9:49PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/10/2014 8:11PM

    HA! The perfect NO NOnsense reply.

Comment edited on: 11/10/2014 8:12:42 PM

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GRAMMYEAC 11/10/2014 8:05PM

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Broken Window

Sunday, November 09, 2014

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a base- ball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMMYEAC 11/9/2014 10:53PM

    It happens.

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MILPAM3 11/9/2014 5:27PM

  My kids have known that pane pain.

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ALICIA214 11/9/2014 1:59PM

  I wonder if he will be a politician when he grows up??


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BEEKAHBUG 11/9/2014 1:47PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/9/2014 1:38PM

    Clever!

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1HOTFUDGEMAMA 11/9/2014 1:24PM

  Cute!

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Parenthood

Friday, November 07, 2014

- If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

-- Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

-- The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

-- Avenge yourself -- live long enough to be a problem to your children.

-- The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

-- Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

-- The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

-- Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

-- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 11/8/2014 8:08AM

    Love them!

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/7/2014 10:38PM

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GRAMMYEAC 11/7/2014 10:13PM

    I resemble most of these!

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1CRAZYDOG 11/7/2014 7:59PM

    Yes to all of these!

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JTREMBATH 11/7/2014 7:17PM

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Miracle Dog

Thursday, November 06, 2014

A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown.

One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.

That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed,

"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 11/7/2014 11:01AM

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/6/2014 10:41PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/6/2014 8:21PM

    Now that's what is called a groaner! LOL

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GRAMMYEAC 11/6/2014 7:53PM

    What a way with words!

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CAREN_BLUEJEANS 11/6/2014 7:08PM

    That's a terrible pun. I love it! emoticon

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GEMINICHIK 11/6/2014 6:38PM

    😃

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State Capitals

Monday, November 03, 2014

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?"

"N", she answered.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 11/4/2014 8:36AM

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/4/2014 7:51AM

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RDEE22 11/4/2014 7:46AM

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GRAMMYEAC 11/3/2014 9:46PM

    True blonde!

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1CRAZYDOG 11/3/2014 5:13PM

    That's blonde all right!

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PHHHISC 11/3/2014 4:42PM

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