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Best Friends?

Thursday, September 04, 2014

There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend.

And as fate would have it, Shawn would be the first to pass. Pat, hearing of his friend's illness, came to visit his dear friend one last time. "Shawn," said Pat, "can you hear me?"

Faintly, Shawn replied, "Yes, Paddy, I can." Bashfully, Pat started, "Do you remember our pact, Shawn?"

"Yes, I do Patty," Shawn strained. "And, you'll also remember that I was to pour the contents of a fine, old bottle of whiskey over your grave, which we have been saving for, going on 30 years now?" said Pat.

"Yes Patty, I do," whispered Shawn.

"It's a very "old" bottle now, you know," urged Pat. "And what are you gettin' at Pat?" asked Shawn, briskly.

"Well Shawn, when I pour the whiskey over your grave, would ya mind if I filter it through my kidneys first?

  
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MSGO72 9/4/2014 10:51PM

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LITTLEDUTCH 9/4/2014 3:12PM

    Very cute. LOL

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MELYROD18 9/4/2014 2:52PM

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JTREMBATH 9/4/2014 2:43PM

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BRENDA_G50 9/4/2014 2:34PM

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1CRAZYDOG 9/4/2014 2:31PM

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Sermon

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning that was about half the usual length of his sermons.

He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning."

After the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the preacher as he was leaving, and said,

"Sir, if that dog of yours has any pups, I sure would like to get one to give to my minister!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 9/4/2014 8:40AM

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GRAMMYEAC 9/3/2014 9:44PM

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1CRAZYDOG 9/3/2014 1:42PM

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HMBROWN1 9/3/2014 8:21AM

    Thanks for the chuckle! Have a great day!

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Smooth Operator

Monday, September 01, 2014

Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look- alike apologized, "Pardon me!"

"That's quite all right," the woman replied. "You look just like my fourth husband."

"Wow!" he said. "How many times have you been married?"

She winked at him and said, "Three."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDEE22 9/2/2014 9:22AM

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DOROTHYBERO 9/2/2014 8:18AM

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1CRAZYDOG 9/1/2014 8:20PM

    Too cute!

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LANINJALOCO 9/1/2014 6:04PM

    That's cute

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Spelling It Out

Sunday, August 31, 2014

My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy, is she r-u-d-e!"

"Yeah," he replied, "and I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDEE22 9/1/2014 9:18AM

    Love it! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/31/2014 9:50AM

    emoticon Y-E-S!

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Fairy Godmother

Saturday, August 30, 2014

A Fairy Godmother told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish".

"I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife.

The Fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! two tickets appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime.

So.....I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife was deeply disappointed, but a wish was a wish. The Fairy made a circle with her magic stick and.....abracadabra!... Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.

Reminder: Fairies are Female!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDEE22 9/1/2014 9:19AM

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TEXASFILLY 8/30/2014 10:14PM

    Hahahaha~ that is priceless! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/30/2014 5:51PM

    And being female, they know how to think on their feet! LOL

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