PT.JEFFGIRL   109,266
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Hut 1, 2, 3

Saturday, March 22, 2014


As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?"

"What?" asked the recruit innocently.

"I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant.

The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEWHENRYSMAMA 3/23/2014 11:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/22/2014 1:46PM

    LOL!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 3/22/2014 12:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 3/22/2014 10:23AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITFEMINIST 3/22/2014 10:08AM

    My sentiments exactly!! Who says what I do is wrong because everyone else does it differently?? LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment


May December Marriage

Friday, March 21, 2014


It was a May-December marriage, and as the old man climbed in to bed for the first time with his new bride, he asked, "Did your mother tell you what to do on your wedding night?"

"Yes," she cooed, kissing him lightly, "She told me everything."

"Good," said the elderly gentleman as he turned out the light, "because I've forgotten."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEWHENRYSMAMA 3/21/2014 9:46PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUZIPAM1 3/21/2014 10:19AM

    oh that is so aweful - i hate to think of it haha

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITFEMINIST 3/21/2014 10:16AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/21/2014 10:12AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Baseball in Heaven

Thursday, March 20, 2014


Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.

Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.

One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol ... Sol ..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes, it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PDSLIM 3/21/2014 9:44AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAMNANGEL 3/21/2014 2:45AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/20/2014 9:08PM

    Uh oh!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEWHENRYSMAMA 3/20/2014 7:50PM

    LOL...I swear I can see these two old men!
Thanks for the smile :-)
Hugs.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITFEMINIST 3/20/2014 1:45PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 3/20/2014 1:24PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


A Walk By The Sea

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson.

And, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine.

But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. "When we came," she snapped indignantly, "he had a hat!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 3/21/2014 2:47AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMMYEAC 3/19/2014 6:59PM

    Like so many of us...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEWHENRYSMAMA 3/19/2014 5:23PM

    Well, she wanted exactly what she wanted...LOL.
Hope you are having a great day and week!
Hugs,
Mary

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 3/19/2014 1:42PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITFEMINIST 3/19/2014 10:17AM

    All to often we do exactly this very thing! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/19/2014 9:55AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


The Dying Preacher

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.

As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 3/21/2014 2:48AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RISKAY70 3/19/2014 3:08PM

    That's funny emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMMYEAC 3/18/2014 11:08PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEWHENRYSMAMA 3/18/2014 10:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WENDYJM4 3/18/2014 6:37PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 3/18/2014 5:04PM

    Too funny!



Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 3/18/2014 3:10PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITFEMINIST 3/18/2014 11:37AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOB5148 3/18/2014 10:54AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/18/2014 10:54:36 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 Last Page