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Better?

Friday, March 07, 2014

Upset is Unhealthy

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes," the boy's mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Who cares?" the mother replied.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/9/2014 11:44AM

  Dear me. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 3/8/2014 12:24AM

    emoticon emoticon Good one!!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/7/2014 1:09PM

    Too true!

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THINFITFEMINIST 3/7/2014 1:09PM

    emoticon

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A No No

Thursday, March 06, 2014

Driving Home Very Drunk

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

Inside the garage was the state troopers car.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/9/2014 11:47AM

  OMG .... good one! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELIZACG9 3/7/2014 12:36PM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/6/2014 8:41PM

    LOL!

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RDEE22 3/6/2014 5:57PM

    emoticon

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GOODGETNBETR 3/6/2014 5:35PM

    emoticon

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SHOAPIE 3/6/2014 10:54AM

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THINFITFEMINIST 3/6/2014 8:50AM

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Performance Evaluations

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Dictionary of Performance Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.

Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.

Active socially: Drinks heavily.

Alert to company developments: An office gossip.

Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.

Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.

Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the neck.

Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.

Happy: Paid too much.

Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.

Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.

Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/9/2014 11:49AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 2/17/2014 7:50PM

    emoticon

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FUTUREHOPE49 2/13/2014 2:32PM

    emoticon

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PDSLIM 2/13/2014 10:54AM

    emoticon

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PEGGY11 2/12/2014 8:27PM

    I like it. emoticon

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THINFITFEMINIST 2/12/2014 7:00PM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 2/12/2014 5:11PM

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Football Wedding

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Football Wedding

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/9/2014 11:51AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 2/17/2014 7:49PM

    cute

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PDSLIM 2/12/2014 10:13AM

    emoticon

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GRAMMYEAC 2/11/2014 11:25PM

    emoticon

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LJCANNON 2/11/2014 9:03PM

    emoticon

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LJOYCE55 2/11/2014 8:35PM

  emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 2/11/2014 8:30PM

    LOL1 HOW TRUE!!!

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PJBONARRIGO 2/11/2014 8:29PM

    Good one, thanks for my laugh for the day! emoticon

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THINFITFEMINIST 2/11/2014 8:29PM

    Very cute!

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Women Drivers (But Not Us!)

Saturday, February 08, 2014

Women Drivers

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PDSLIM 2/9/2014 10:00AM

    Why I take the bus

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RDEE22 2/9/2014 1:14AM

    Love it, definitely not us!! emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 2/8/2014 8:45PM

    emoticon

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THINFITFEMINIST 2/8/2014 8:30PM

    Certainly not me! LOL

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1CRAZYDOG 2/8/2014 8:06PM

    Of COURSE that's not us! LOLOL

HUGS

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