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PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Angry Neighbor

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Angry Neighbor

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his neighbor storms out of the house straight to the mailbox, opens it, slams it shut and storms back in.

A little later the neighbor storms out and does the exact same thing again, before storming back in even more red-faced.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, out the neighbor comes again, marches to the mail box, opens it before slamming it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by the neighbor's actions the man asked, "Is something wrong?"

"There certainly is!" the neighbor replied. "My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 2/3/2014 12:23AM

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MOTLEM 1/28/2014 11:47PM

    emoticon Some muvvers DO have 'em!

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GRAMMYEAC 1/28/2014 10:06PM

    Too funny!!!

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MARAGRAM 1/28/2014 9:42PM

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1CRAZYDOG 1/28/2014 9:14PM

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 1/28/2014 7:39PM

    ROTFL!!

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SUNHOME 1/28/2014 6:22PM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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The Limo

Monday, January 27, 2014

The Limo

The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, "Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once."

"Well, here," the limo driver says, "Take the wheel, Your Holiness!"

Further down the road, the limo is stopped by a policeman who looks in the window, goes back to his squad car, calls dispatch and says, "I just pulled over someone real important and I don't know what to do."

"Well, who is it?" his dispatcher says, "The mayor? The governor? The president?"

"I don't know," the officer responds, "but the Pope's his chauffer!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 2/3/2014 12:24AM

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1CRAZYDOG 1/27/2014 8:02PM

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MOTLEM 1/27/2014 7:58PM

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BANNERMAN 1/27/2014 7:49PM

  Thanks for sharing.

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Smart Wife

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Personal Secretary

A guy walked into his friend's office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what's up with you?", he asked.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither. He's bald."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 2/3/2014 12:26AM

    emoticon

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MARAGRAM 1/25/2014 8:22PM

    ROF emoticon! That is a proactive wife!

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MOTLEM 1/25/2014 7:59PM

    She's either a clever wife for a reason, or just a woman with jealousy issues.
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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 1/25/2014 7:50PM

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1CRAZYDOG 1/25/2014 7:50PM

    Definitely a smart wife! LOL

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Sarahella

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sarahrella

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them."

Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.

Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."

The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly.

"I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 2/3/2014 12:28AM

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1CRAZYDOG 1/24/2014 8:55AM

    Bwahahahaha! I could see it happening!

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GRAMMYEAC 1/24/2014 6:21AM

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GRAMMYEAC 1/24/2014 6:19AM

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RDEE22 1/24/2014 3:42AM

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MOTLEM 1/24/2014 1:14AM

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Warning

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Alcohol Consumption Warning

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

- The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your behind kicked.

- The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

- The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDEE22 1/19/2014 7:56AM

    I love the bit about being invisible! emoticon

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MOTLEM 1/18/2014 10:28PM

    emoticon I must take up drinking more often as I would love to think that I'm smarter, faster, and better looking than most people! emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon Hic!

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DARJR50 1/18/2014 10:20PM

  Been there don all of those. Thank God I no longer drink.

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1CRAZYDOG 1/18/2014 9:20PM

    You mean they're NOT laughing with me? emoticon

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