PROVERBS31JULIA   105,908
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Home. For now. Nothing really different ...

Monday, December 31, 2012

Dad's in the hospital still. Hospital wants him out. We're not filthy rich. He never filed any sort of power of attorney or other similar end of life paperwork. (note to self: do this!! SOON!).

The "wife" may not really be legally his wife....

The "girlfriend" is very helpful because she's been like the keeper of Dad's secrets the past 18 years or so. For a variety of reasons they never married...(different drama and not mine really to discuss.). But the "wife" of course is still carrying her baggage and anger towards the "girlfriend" and so is not helpful. Actually seems to be a bit bi-polar? or passive aggressive? she's on SSI disability - and so girlfriend and I wonder if she's angling to try to get my dad's Social Security death benefits... even though she admits she has not lived with him in over two years so even by "common-law" standards in Texas, that still wouldn't be considered "together" or "a couple." And his Food Stamps eligibility case was filed as single person. Hmmm She's not trying to manipulate the system, is she??

So it's a stinky mess.

I'm going to bed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATWELL88 1/1/2013 8:17PM

    Oh woweee. Life er people can be complicated praying for a resoultion for your situation and get some rest too emoticon

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JANNEPERRY 1/1/2013 8:43AM

    Julia I'm sorry things are so complicated. Good thing for your dad that he has a strong, smart advocate in you.

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M77355 1/1/2013 12:40AM

    I'm praying for restoration, peace and clarity for you ... you're juggling so much and want you to to rest in God's care while you calmly discern each step.
You're a very special lady to me and hoping for the best outcome.

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JILLYBEAN25 12/31/2012 3:04PM

    My goodness. I hope things get worked out for the better sooner rather than later. Keep your chin up!

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ASOBFALLS 12/31/2012 11:57AM

    Lord God, be with your Daughter as she struggles through making decisions...made especially hard with business offices being closed for the New Year celebration.
Give her wisdom and strength as she moves through this week. Amen
emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/31/2012 8:41AM

    Awwwww, hugs and prayers. It's so difficult to go thru such emotional upheaval . . . exhausting! Why people want to be so nasty towards one another I just don't understand.

Prayers that things get sorted out. **SIGH**

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JESSIKA_56 12/31/2012 7:56AM

    Sorry times are so tough. emoticon Praying for you and the family.

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GAYLLYNNE 12/31/2012 6:42AM

    Sounds like you have your hands full. There is a lot of information on the web about SS and who gets what. It's pretty straight forward. Anyone he was legally married to has claim, even if they are estranged and/or divorced. Wishing you a happy, easier new year!! You deserve it!!

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AWOOD1973 12/31/2012 3:32AM

    Oh my... Sounds like you just got handed a big, big mess. Sorry for you having to deal with all of this. You are right tho, lesson learned when it comes to making sure you have all of your affairs in order for "that" time. Take care... emoticon

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Abiliene, TX - my dad - cancers, POA, care homes, what to do!?

Friday, December 28, 2012

Arrrgh been typing about being here in Abilene and went to get this link and now my blog is gone. Arrrrgh these iPhone interfaces and hotels with spotty wifi coverage and about 20-30 minutes of work typing my thoughts, and how this song fits in...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqH21LEmfbQ&
feature=youtube_gdata_player



Just going to have to edit in later.

I don't know if there are Sparkers in Abilene, Clyde, Eula, Baird, Cisco ... Howdy if you are here reading this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMEOSUN 12/28/2012 12:36PM

  emoticon and prayers.

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CAT-IN-CJ 12/28/2012 11:26AM

    Oh, I hate it when that happens.... all your thoughts and energy spinning around somewhere in cyberspace.

Last time that happened to me, someone recommended writing the blog in a word processor or email so it can be saved during the process . . . . then copy and past it into the SP blog.

From the sound of the title of your blog, it's not a happy one. I went thru similar, first with my dad, and now my mom. Praying for strength and peace for you.
emoticon

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ITISABOUTME 12/28/2012 11:18AM

    Thinking of you.......Sorry you are having a tough time. emoticon

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JANNEPERRY 12/28/2012 11:06AM

    Julia my thoughts and prayers are with you as it sounds like you have a lot of important, tough decisions to make. emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 12/28/2012 10:52AM

    I'm in New Mexico but with you in thoughts and prayers. I know this is such an extremely difficult time, even without family complications. I do case management with elderly and disabled on some Medicaid programs, and work with people frequently going through these types of things and it is so very very tough to face these questions and watch someone you love going through this. I don't have any magic words to say just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs to you. You will get through this. When my mom was in the final stages of her life so many times I felt like I couldn't go on an just wanted to run away from it all but she had no one else here and I couldn't. So the song you posted made sense to me about how you are feeling right now. But you will get through. emoticon

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SONYALATRECE 12/28/2012 10:39AM

    Too far from you, but my prayers to you and your family at this diffcult time.
[I'm on the Gulf Coast in Galveston, TX.]

Hate when blogs warp away into the cyberspace black hole...sucks big time.

Sonya

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 12/28/2012 10:37AM

    emoticon

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Update on my dad...

Saturday, December 22, 2012

So much has been going on past week or two, and I can't begin to cover lt all. Some family drama is in the mix now. But after an surgery to attempt to place stents in thr lines going between kidneys and bladder, which failed, doctors discovered the cancer(s) are pretty much eating him up from inside out. Doubtless the toxins are what is affecting his mind. He only has Medicare part A, no part B coverage at all. It's complex why not, and yet simple why it is the case, but no point in going there.

My brother and his wife drove up from Katy and visited with Dad like 20-30 minutes, with Dad railing on about some conspiracy. Finally he asked Dad if Dad knew who he was. Dad said he was tne doctor. My brother said "No, I'm your son..(name)". He said Dad kinda looked startled and said "Thank you for coming up to see me!" and he said he might have seen Dad for about two minutes before Dad slipped back into his mental haze.

So we're planning to go down there. Gotta stop by my mother-in-law's house in SE Okla on the way, to make sure gas heat is still on, and then head on down to Abilene, TX.

Oh and I've never met this gal he married four years ago, who separated two years ago...

I hope she is nice, but we've had some friction, over the phone lines. I think part of this is from hospital staff having mistaken identity and talking to a woman erroneously believed to be his wife. So they sald I was in charge. Then they found her, and she is in charge... But she doesn't really know him! She has only lived with him two of the four or maybe five years that they met, "dated" and married. I've known him 50+ years... Thankfully, after I stated my piece, she seems to be a bit more inclusive on the phone. We'll see how she is when I meet her. I understand she has some health issues of her own. So we'll just have to stay with it and work with what we have...

I'm on phone typing and tired, so hope to write more later. They are trying to get him to a hospice type place, but no one wants to accept him now - they are all short-staffed for the next week or so.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AWOOD1973 12/27/2012 3:21AM

    Wish I had some magic wand to wave and make everything all better. I am praying for you and your family. Please keep us posted... emoticon

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ECOAGE 12/24/2012 12:24AM

    Sending you wishes for continued inner strength.

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PHEBESS 12/23/2012 9:58PM

    Wow, that's a lot all at once! Take care of yourself too, and I hope things aren't too stressful. They won't be easy - but keep taking long deep breaths.

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JUDI_CUTIE 12/23/2012 5:15PM

    Julia,
I am so sorry to hear about what your family is going through.
Judi

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GLORYB2014 12/23/2012 11:51AM

    emoticon Julia, you've got more than your share to contend with right now. I hope they'll be able to place your dad in a hospice as they take such good care of those in their final days/weeks of life. Praying for you to have a safe journey and a better outcome with your dad's wife. Keep the faith!
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/23/2012 11:51:25 AM

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SPARKLINGHOPE 12/23/2012 10:44AM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/23/2012 10:18AM

    Hugs, sugar. It's so hard to deal with parents' health issues long distance, let alone have an obstacle like someone not wanting to share information about YOUR FATHER! HUGS.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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JANNEPERRY 12/23/2012 8:30AM

    Julia, so sorry for the health/family issues for your dad and family. Any time of year is difficult for that. Especially when you don't live close by. Your dad is fortunate to have a smart, good-hearted advocate in you, working for his best. Hang in there. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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ASILLA 12/23/2012 8:03AM

    emoticon

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ILOVEROSES 12/23/2012 5:43AM

    emoticon emoticon

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M77355 12/23/2012 4:52AM

    Aw Julia, I'm sad for what you and the rest of your family is going through. I'll pray for strength, wisdom and faith to see you through all of this.

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MRE1956 12/23/2012 4:46AM

    Why, oh WHY must there be *drama* of ANY kind when dealing with such sad issues as you have? This disturbs and saddens me no end - especially during holiday seasons!

I hope you get some sense of peace while you're working through all this......I will keep you, your dad and the rest of your family in my best thoughts! Please be gentle with yourself and take care!

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LINDA! 12/22/2012 11:56PM

    emoticon

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My Dad is in the hospital...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Just found out today that my dad has been in the hospital since Sunday. One of the Brethren from his congregation saw fit to check up on him before the cold snap that was to hit Kansas Okla and Texas, and discovered him talking incoherently. It's a miracle that an email from Amazon inspired me to call my dad's cell phone, which he had with him at the hospital. Or maybe coincidence, for those of you with an alternative spiritual belief system - I don't care what it is called.

I was able to get the number for hospital case manager and I knew going in that she might not believe me ( HIPPA laws and all that privacy but really no privacy stuff.). Miracles - she was really patient with my deafness over the phone (as was the guy who gave me her phone number and was patient while I was repeating to make sure I really got it.). She had to know for sure about me, before she could share info on his condition, and I understood thst. It was really a bit of struggle to get through calmly so that we could both get the info we needed )exchanging phone numbers, emails, names, etc.).

Evidently his estranged wife ( like a cult bride) won't have anything to do with him or the hospital earlier when case manage was looking for info about him or his family. So CM ( case manager) was evidently already trying to find me on thr Internet. I think she was pleasantly surprised I called her. Or just as awed by the miraculous coincidence. I really don't know.

I need more sleep. Evidently the doctor will call tomorrow to gain permission to do some procedures. I had raised the issue that I didn't know enough of my dad's affairs to know if I was listed as a Power of Attorney or any such like thst. She told me that since I'm first born child, thst Texas law says I'm next in line, since he is divorced from my mom and his currrent "wife" evidently has nothing to do with him.

Sigh.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDOSUE52 12/22/2012 8:18PM

   
I hope your Dad is doing okay, Julia!

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CAREN_BLUEJEANS 12/16/2012 10:20AM

    Wishing your father a speedy recover.

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DOLLYHOLLY 12/15/2012 7:47PM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. Hope the doctors are able to help and that you get the rest you need too.

emoticon

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JESSIKA_56 12/15/2012 12:51PM

    emoticon

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ITISABOUTME 12/14/2012 12:27PM

    So sorry to hear of your bad news. Hope things are getting better and your dad is on the mend

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LNSYLVSDOGS 12/14/2012 5:05AM

    emoticon emoticon SOOOO glad you called when you did. Hope he is now on the mend and the complicated issues will resolve themselves. Sending prayers. emoticon

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HOPEFULHIPPO 12/13/2012 5:17PM

    emoticon

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PHEBESS 12/13/2012 5:03PM

    So sorry to hear this - hope it's something easy to fix, and he'll be back to normal very soon. (Older people can easily get dehydrated, forget to eat, etc.)

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1CRAZYDOG 12/13/2012 2:08PM

    Oh my! HUGS and major prayers for you and your Dad. It is sad how things turn out some times. Wishing him a speedy recovery.

HUGS my dear.

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SALTYCHOCOLATE 12/13/2012 10:24AM

    Will keep your Dad and you in my prayers.

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SALTYCHOCOLATE 12/13/2012 10:22AM

    Will keep your Dad and you in my prayers.

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NUMD97 12/13/2012 9:27AM

    Sorry for your travails, Julia. I hope that your dad makes a speedy recovery.

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JANNEPERRY 12/13/2012 7:49AM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad you were able to get in touch with him and the hospital in a timely manner. I'll keep him in my prayers. emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 12/13/2012 7:00AM

    sorry to hear this hope you can help resolve the issues.

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AWOOD1973 12/13/2012 2:31AM

    Oh my goodness! So sorry to hear what is going on with your dad (and you). I hope that all goes well and that you get through this with a sane mind. emoticon

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JILLYBEAN25 12/13/2012 1:30AM

    I'm sorry you had such terrible news and feel so conflicted. I hope you both find healing in this time. You're in my prayers!

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My viewpoints on Math Word Problems

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I just saw this on Facebook and I just HAD to share this poster. It explains so much about me....




So now you know.

I'll understand if you feel you need to unfriend me...

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLLYHOLLY 12/15/2012 7:45PM

    Aww, cute!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 12/12/2012 12:09PM

    emoticon yup....that all makes sense to me.... emoticon

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JANNEPERRY 12/12/2012 11:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/12/2012 8:48AM

    Hmmm...thought aliens were green! Boy, that describes my brain on math too! LOL You're not alone.

HUGS

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GARDENCHRIS 12/12/2012 7:17AM

    emoticon

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NTRACEY02 12/12/2012 6:23AM

    I like purple emoticon

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JILLYBEAN25 12/12/2012 12:30AM

    Um, we must have the same sort of brain 'cuz that is certainly how that feels to me.

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NORWOODGIRL 12/11/2012 11:31PM

    Love your sense of humor! emoticon

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